[ THEME SONG PLAYS ]
* I BET WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR A MILLION YEARS *
* AND I'LL BET WE'LL BE TOGETHER FOR A MILLION MORE *
* OH, IT'S LIKE I STARTED BREATHING *
* ON THE NIGHT WE KISSED
* AND I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT I EVER DID BEFORE *
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US?
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US?
* AND THERE AIN'T NO NOTHIN' *
* WE CAN'T LOVE EACH OTHER THROUGH *
* OOH-HOO
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US?
* SHA-LA-LA-LA
JENNIFER, I TOLD YOU
I DON'T WANT THAT COMPUTER IN THE KITCHEN.
BUT THIS IS WHERE I DO MY HOMEWORK, DAD.
I TOLD HER SHE COULD USE IT IN HERE, HONEY.
COME ON, DAD. COMPUTERS ARE PART OF OUR LIVES NOW.
JOIN THE '80s.
JOIN THE '70s.
JENNIFER, I KNOW YOU NEED IT FOR SCHOOL,
BUT, PLEASE, USE IT IN ANOTHER ROOM.
OKAY, I'LL USE IT IN THE LIVING ROOM.
NOT THE LIVING ROOM!
THERE'S ALREADY AN ELECTRIC CLOCK IN THE LIVING ROOM!
I BETTER GO WITH HIM.
I DON'T WANT HIM TO SEE THAT THREE-WAY LIGHT BULB I GOT.
HEY, MAL. HI, ALEX.
HOW WAS YOUR DATE? OKAY?
FINE.
YEAH? WHAT'D YOU DO?
UM, SAW THAT NEW ITALIAN MOVIE DOWN AT THE NORTHTOWN.
OH, YEAH? DID YOUR DATE READ YOU THE SUBTITLES?
[ SOBBING ] HEY. HEY, MAL.
I-I WAS JUST KIDDING.
I KNOW YOU CAN READ.
ALEX, THIS IS THE SIXTH GUY I'VE GONE OUT WITH
SINCE I BROKE UP WITH RICK
AND THE SIXTH TERRIBLE TIME I'VE HAD.
WELL, AT LEAST YOU'RE CONSISTENT.
AND THEN TONIGHT I SEE HIM WITH MARILYN WALKER.
I MEAN, HOW COME HE CAN FIND A GIRL,
AND I CAN'T FIND A GUY?
NOW, MALLORY, LOOK, RICK IS A VERY SPECIAL GUY.
HE'S A -- HE'S WARM. HE'S BRIGHT. HE'S FUNNY.
GUY LIKE THAT IS ONE IN A MILLION.
[ SOBS ]
UH, NO. I DON'T MEAN THAT HE'S ONE IN A MILLION.
I MEAN THERE ARE A MILLION OF THOSE GUYS...
AND HE'S ONE OF THEM.
ALEX, IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME?
LET'S -- LET'S TRY AND STAY IN A MORE PRODUCTIVE AREA, OKAY?
NOW, UH, LET'S --
LET'S TRY AND IDENTIFY THE PROBLEM.
LET'S LOOK AT THIS LOGICALLY.
NOW, YOU'RE CRYING
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FIND A GUY YOU LIKE.
AM I RIGHT?
IT'S JUST...
I FEEL SO ALONE, ALEX.
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE, UH -- YOU'RE CRYING,
AND YOU'RE ALONE.
YOU KNOW, TIME'S BEGINNING TO RUN OUT ON ME.
I'M ALMOST 17.
YOU'RE, UH -- YOU'RE CRYING, YOU'RE ALONE,
AND YOU'RE ALMOST 17.
I THINK I CAN HELP.
[ SIGHS ] YOU CAN? HOW?
WELL, UH...
I'LL HELP YOU FIND A GUY.
YOU WILL? SURE.
I KNOW A LOT OF GUYS.
YOU KNOW, FROM COLLEGE.
AND -- AND MAYBE I CAN FIND THE RIGHT ONE FOR YOU.
SEE? THINGS AREN'T AS BAD AS YOU THINK.
REALLY? SURE.
LOOK, MALLORY, YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON,
AND -- AND IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A GUY TO DATE,
THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE A GUY TO DATE.
AND I'LL FIND HIM FOR YOU.
ALEX, YOU'RE REALLY WONDERFUL SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW THAT?
AH.
I KNOW.
IT'S A BURDEN I HAVE TO BEAR.
[ BEEPS ] W-WHAT'S THAT?
WELL, I'M JUST SHOWING YOU HOW IT CAN ADD UP NUMBERS.
SEE? 2 PLUS 2.
HOW DO WE KNOW IF IT'S RIGHT?
HI. OH, NO, SKIPPY.
SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU BECOME INTERESTED IN COMPUTERS?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
MR. KEATON, I SEE THE COMPUTER AS...
A-AN UNEXPLORED CAVE THAT CONTAINS UNKNOWN TREASURES,
TREASURES THAT ULTIMATELY COULD BE THE KEY
TO A-A HAPPIER, MORE FULFILLING LIFE.
BESIDES, YOU CAN PLAY PAC-MAN ON IT.
UH, THAT REMINDS ME --
I DON'T WANT THIS THING USED
FOR ANY OF THOSE SILLY COMPUTER GAMES.
IT'S HERE AS AN EDUCATIONAL TOOL, AND THAT'S IT.
PLEASE TELL JENNIFER.
UH, YEAH. I WILL, DAD. OKAY.
I KNOW IT'S A HANG-UP OF MINE,
BUT I HATE THESE MODERN GADGETS.
WHERE YOU GOING, DAD?
THE KITCHEN. I THOUGHT I'D MAKE MYSELF SOME TOAST.
RIGHT. LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED ANY HELP CHURNING THE BUTTER.
I...
UH, PARDON ME, MR. KEATON? UH, MAY I JOIN YOU?
I-I HAPPEN TO BE SOMETHING OF A WIZARD WITH TOAST.
SO I'VE HEARD, SKIPPY. COME ON.
OH, HI, ALEX.
OH, HEY, MAL. GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
I HAVE SPENT THE ENTIRE DAY INTERVIEWING SOME OF
THE MOST ELIGIBLE MEN ON THE LELAND CAMPUS.
MAL, I THINK THIS THING IS GONNA WORK OUT.
OH. LISTEN, ALEX.
I DO APPRECIATE WHAT YOU'RE -- WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO,
BUT LET'S JUST FORGET IT, OKAY?
WAIT, W-WHAT?
I'M SORRY I GOT ALL EMOTIONAL LAST NIGHT.
I'M REALLY KIND OF EMBARRASSED NOW.
NO, NO, NO, MAL.
WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT WAS A -- WAS A PIVOTAL EVENT
IN OUR RELATIONSHIP.
YOU OPENED UP TO ME,
AND I'M NOT GONNA TURN MY BACK ON YOU NOW.
IT'S OKAY.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIX ME UP WITH ANYONE. [ SIGHS ]
I ALREADY HAVE A FEW GUYS IN MIND.
REALLY? WHO?
WELL, THEIR, UH -- THEIR NAMES
AND A BRIEF PORTFOLIO OF EACH ARE RIGHT IN HERE.
LET'S OPEN IT UP AND TAKE A LOOK AT 'EM.
OKAY.
NOW, I'M GONNA ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS,
AND I WANT SOME HONEST ANSWERS.
OKAY. WHAT IF I GET 'EM WRONG?
WELL, MALLORY, THESE ARE QUESTIONS
ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL TASTES,
YOUR LIKES AND YOUR DISLIKES.
Y-YOU CAN'T GET A WRONG ANSWER. OH, OKAY.
OKAY, NOW, WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT QUALITY
IN A MAN'S PERSONALITY?
OH, SENSE OF HUMOR.
WRONG.
WHAT?
AW, COME ON, MALLORY.
IF SENSE OF HUMOR WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT QUALITY
IN A MAN'S PERSONALITY,
YOU'D BE DATING CHEECH AND CHONG.
OH. OH, OKAY. UM...
SENSITIVITY.
SENSITIVITY?
MALLORY, I DON'T KNOW ANY SENSITIVE GUYS.
I INSIST ON SENSITIVITY, ALEX. HE HAS TO BE SENSITIVE.
ALL RIGHT. OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
SENSITIVITY AND A SENSE OF HUMOR.
UGH. SHUDDER TO THINK WHAT THIS GUY'S GONNA BE LIKE.
HEY, WHERE'S MALLORY?
UPSTAIRS, I THINK.
WELL, WHAT'S SHE DOING UPSTAIRS?
A-ALEX.
SHE, UH -- SHE SHOULDN'T KEEP HER DATE WAITING.
WHY ARE YOU SO EXCITED ABOUT MALLORY'S DATE?
USUALLY YOU JUST WAIT TILL THEY LEAVE AND THEN LAUGH.
WELL, MOM, THAT IS GOING TO CHANGE.
YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING TO LAUGH WHILE THEY'RE STILL HERE?
TONIGHT, I HAVE HANDPICKED MALLORY'S DATE.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WELL, IN AN EFFORT TO IMPROVE THE, UH,
WRETCHED AND BLEAK QUALITY OF MALLORY'S SOCIAL LIFE,
I'VE ARRANGED A DATE FOR HER
WITH ONE OF THE MOST ELIGIBLE MEN AT LELAND COLLEGE.
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
BECAUSE MALLORY IS MY SISTER,
I CARE ABOUT HER A LOT, AND I LIKE TO SEE HER HAPPY.
HOW MUCH MONEY'S INVOLVED?
OH, STEVEN, GIVE HIM A LITTLE CREDIT.
HE'S TRYING TO DO SOMETHING NICE FOR HIS SISTER.
IS IT MORE THAN $50?
WELL?
Steven: OH, YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. HA!
Elyse: STUNNING, HONEY.
WAIT, WAIT. MAL. MALLORY. MALLORY.
I-I THOUGHT WE HAD DISCUSSED
WHAT YOU WERE GONNA WEAR TONIGHT.
I'M NOT WEARING THAT OUTFIT, ALEX.
THAT'S FINAL.
[ SIGHS ] WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT OUTFIT?
THAT WAS A FABULOUS, FEMININE OUTFIT.
I SPENT THE WHOLE DAY AT BEAUTIFUL YOUNG MISS
PICKING THAT OUT.
THE -- THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS HUMOR ME.
I'M NOT WEARING IT, ALEX.
NOT EVEN THE PETTICOAT?
LOOK, I'M REALLY NERVOUS ABOUT THIS.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I CAN GO THROUGH WITH IT.
AH, COME ON, MALLORY. THERE'S NOTHING TO BE NERVOUS ABOUT.
YOU'RE GONNA LIKE THIS GUY.
YOU GUYS HAVE EVERYTHING IN COMMON.
I DON'T KNOW.
I DO KNOW, MAL.
I FED YOUR VITAL STATISTICS INTO THIS COMPUTER.
AND I FOUND OUT YOU GUYS ARE COMPATIBLE
IN EVERYTHING FROM -- FROM BREAKFAST CEREALS
TO POSITIONS ON NUCLEAR DISARMAMENT.
I DON'T HAVE A POSITION ON NUCLEAR DISARMAMENT.
NEITHER DOES HE.
SEE?
THIS IS THE KIND OF LACK OF SUBSTANCE
THAT GREAT RELATIONSHIPS ARE BUILT ON.
MALLORY, LOOK...
YOU'RE ABOUT TO MEET THE MAN OF YOUR DREAMS.
OKAY? ALL RIGHT? YOU'RE A LITTLE NERVOUS.
AND IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE.
BUT WHEN HE GETS HERE,
YOU JUST LET ME HANDLE EVERYTHING, ALL RIGHT?
OKAY. OKAY.
[ DOORBELL RINGS ] OH!WHOA.
THERE HE IS. OKAY.
I GOT IT. I GOT IT.
ROGER. HEY.
COME ON IN. THANKS, ALEX.
HOPE YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANY TROUBLE FINDING THE PLACE.
NO. THANKS FOR THE POLICE ESCORT.
ROGER, THIS IS MALLORY.
MALLORY, THIS IS ROGER SLOATE.
HI.
OH! AND, UH, THAT'S MY MOM, MY DAD, AND THIS IS JENNIFER.
IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, ROGER.
NICE TO MEET YOU, MR. KEATON.
OKAY, HEY, ENOUGH OF THE INTRODUCTIONS, HUH?
WHY DON'T WE ALL SIT DOWN AND GET A LITTLE BETTER ACQUAINTED?
I GUESS...
GUESS YOU TWO KIDS HAVE A LOT TO TALK ABOUT, HUH?
GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD.
SO ALEX HAS TOLD ME A LOT ABOUT YOU, MALLORY.
ONLY GOOD THINGS, MAL.
WELL, UH, YOU GO TO LELAND, RIGHT?
SOPHOMORE.
ENGINEERING MAJOR.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
I UNDERSTAND THEY HAVE A VERY FINE
ENGINEERING PROGRAM AT LELAND.
MA.
YEAH. I ENJOY IT VERY MUCH, MRS. KEATON.
YEAH, YEAH. HE -- HE ENJOYS IT VERY MUCH, MISSUS -- MOM.
IS ALEX THEIR INTERPRETER?
YES.
UH, SO WHERE ARE YOU TWO OFF TO TONIGHT?
DAD, DO YOU MIND?
I'M -- I'M SORRY. FORGIVE MY RUDENESS.
I LOST MY HEAD.
ACTUALLY, I, UH, MADE RESERVATIONS
FOR YOU TWO AT THE BEAR'S LAIR.
OH, THANKS.
AND THEN AFTERWARDS I THOUGHT YOU COULD GO AND SEE
THAT NEW JAMES BOND MOVIE.
OH, I'VE SEEN THAT ALREADY. I HATED IT.
I SAW THAT. I LOVED IT.
AH, A LITTLE SPAT. ISN'T THAT CUTE?
OKAY. YOU GUYS BETTER GET GOING.
OKAY.
Steven: SEE YOU LATER. BYE.
UH, MAL? UH...
ROGER WANTED YOU TO HAVE THESE.
OH. UH...
[ CHUCKLES ]
THANKS, ROGER.
UH, IT WAS THE LEAST I COULD DO.
UH, WE'LL BE SEEING YOU LATER.
YEAH. NICE TO MEET YOU. BYE-BYE.
HAVE FUN TONIGHT, HON. BYE-BYE.
OKAY. GOOD NIGHT.
DON'T WAIT UP FOR US.
JUST WANTED TO SEE THEM SAFELY OFF THE PORCH.
OKAY, PUSH THIS TO PITCH AND THIS TO SWING THE BAT.
OH! YAY! A HOME RUN ON THE FIRST SWING.
IT EVEN HAS A LITTLE COMPUTER GUY
PATTING THE BATTER ON HIS BEHIND.
DAD?
OKAY, ONE PITCH.
JUST TO PROVE HOW DEHUMANIZING THIS GAME IS.
PUSH THESE BUTTONS.
[ BEEPS ]
STRIKE ONE.
STRIKE TWO.
STRIKE THREE. YOU'RE OUT, DAD.
STRIKE?! IT WAS HIGH AND INSIDE!
THAT ALMOST HIT ME!
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS STUPID COMPUTER UMP?!
CALM DOWN, DAD. STEVEN.
SEE HOW DEHUMANIZED I BECAME?
OKAY, WELL, IT'S MY TURN NOW.
J-JENNIFER. COME ON. I-I JUST SAT DOWN.
THAT FIRST ONE WAS -- WAS -- WAS PRACTICE.
HEY, HEY! BASE HIT.
OKAY, NOW I'M -- OH, COME ON! I...
EXCUSE ME.
GAME'S CALLED ON ACCOUNT OF DARKNESS.
COME ON, HONEY. IT'S TIME FOR BED.
OH, FIVE MORE MINUTES. PLEASE?
FORGET IT, STEVEN.
HEY, WHAT YOU DOING, DAD?
UH, I -- I WAS JUST TAKING THIS UPSTAIRS.
UM, TO WASH IT.
[ DOOR OPENS ] Mallory: YEAH, WELL...
I HAD A REAL NICE TIME. YEAH.
THE MARIACHI BAND WAS GREAT.
YEAH. GOOD NIGHT.
HOW WAS YOUR DATE?
ALEX, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
JUST STANDING HERE.
HAPPEN TO, UH -- HAPPEN TO LIKE STANDING HERE.
GOOD NIGHT. NIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT.
GREAT GUY, HUH?
HE'S ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT? COME ON!
MALLORY, HE IS PERFECT FOR YOU.
HE'S ALL RIGHT.
ACTUALLY, ALEX, HE'S NOT THAT BRIGHT.
SEE WHAT I MEAN? HE'S PERFECT FOR YOU!
LISTEN, ALEX, UH,
I APPRECIATE WHAT YOU'VE TRIED TO DO,
BUT, UM, IT'S OVER.
I-I DON'T LIKE ROGER THAT MUCH,
SO I'M NOT GONNA GO OUT WITH HIM ANYMORE.
OH.
YOU, UH, DON'T LIKE ROGER THAT MUCH,
AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA GO OUT WITH HIM ANYMORE.
SIMPLE AS THAT.
WHAT ABOUT ME, MALLORY?
WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS?
YOUR FEELINGS? YEAH.
I -- I PUT A LOT OF TIME AND EFFORT
INTO TRYING TO HELP YOU OUT,
AND IS THIS THE THANKS I GET?
ALEX -- IS THIS THE MALLORY
WHO WAS CRYING ON MY SHOULDER A WEEK AGO?
IS THIS THE MALLORY WHO SAID,
"ALEX, I HAVEN'T MET A GUY I LIKED IN MONTHS"?
IS THIS THE MALLORY -- ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, ALEX, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
ONE MORE DATE, OKAY?
YOU CAN COME ALONG. WE'LL DOUBLE.
BUT IF IT DOESN'T WORK OUT, THAT'S THE END OF IT, OKAY?
HEY, DON'T DO IT FOR M MAL.
ALEX...
I'M TELLING YOU, THIS PLACE IS FANTASTIC.
THIS IS GONNA BE A SPECIAL NIGHT.
THERE'S JUST -- THERE'S AN ELECTRICITY IN THE AIR.
I CAN -- I CAN JUST FEEL IT.
IT'S A GOOD THING I WORE RUBBER BOOTS.
BOY, I HAVEN'T LAUGHED LIKE THIS...
ROG, MEL, I WAS AMAZED
WHEN I FOUND OUT HOW MUCH YOU TWO HAD IN COMMON.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE BOTH SO INTERESTED IN FASHION.
I'M NOT INTERESTED IN FASHION AT ALL.
SURE -- SURE -- SURE YOU ARE, ROG.
I MEAN, COME ON,
ISN'T -- ISN'T YOUR FATHER IN THE FASHION BUSINESS?
HE OWNS A LUMBERYARD.
YEAH, OKAY.
SO, UH...SO, LUMBERYARD, FABRIC IS BOUGHT BY THE YARD.
CONNECTION IS ALMOST EERIE.
SO HOW ABOUT A LITTLE, UH, SPONTANEOUS CONVERSATION?
STARTING...NOW.
MALLORY, MALLORY, TELL -- TELL ROGER ABOUT --
ABOUT THAT FUNNY THING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU AT WORK.
UM, NOTHING FUNNY HAPPENED TO ME AT WORK, ALEX.
UM, SOMETHING FUNNY HAPPENED TO ME AT WORK.
TRACY, WILL YOU LET SOMEONE ELSE GET A WORD IN EDGEWISE?
[ SLOW MUSIC PLAYS ]
WHOA, GREAT SONG.
WHY DON'T YOU TWO KIDS GET OUT THERE AND DANCE, HUH?
I REALLY DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.
YEAH. ME NEITHER.
YOU BOTH LISTED DANCING AS A FAVORITE ACTIVITY.
ROG, YOU LISTED IT SECOND.
MALLORY, YOU LISTED IT FOURTH.
COME ON, LET'S SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE AND DANCE.
ALL RIGHT.
GREAT COUPLE, HUH?
UH, EXCUSE ME.
UH...
UH, ROG, YOU MIND IF I CUT IN?
SURE. THANKS.
ALEX, WHY'D YOU DO THAT?
MALLORY, WHEN I SENT YOU OUT HERE,
I SENT YOU OUT HERE TO DANCE.
THIS IS A SLOW NUMBER.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN SLOW DANCING.
LIKE -- LIKE ROGER AND TRACY.
EXCUSE ME FOR A MINUTE.
UH, PAR-- PARDON ME. MAY I CUT IN?
SURE.
W-WHY WERE YOU DANCING WITH TRACY?
BECAUSE I LIKE HER.
AND BECAUSE YOU CUT IN ON ME AND MALLORY.
YEAH, WELL, ROG, I ONLY DID THAT BE--
I ONLY...
LOOK, UH, WHY DON'T WE SIT DOWN AND TALK ABOUT THIS?
I DON'T WANT TO SIT DOWN AND TALK ABOUT IT.
I WANT TO DANCE.
ROG, MY FEET ARE KILLING ME. I...
ALEX, WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE US ALONE?
LOOK, I CAN'T LEAVE YOU ALONE.
WHEN I LEAVE YOU ALONE, ROG, NOTHING HAPPENS.
WELL, MAYBE IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN.
NO, LOOK, ROG.
ACCORDING TO THIS,
YOU ARE ALMOST MY BROTHER-IN-LAW.
HEY, PAL, I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW.
I DON'T EVEN WANT TO BE YOUR SISTER.
AND I DEFINITELY DO NOT WANT TO BE YOUR DATE.
[ GROANS ]
OKAY, 22-4, YOUR FAVOR.
YOUR BALL OUT.
I WARN YOU, ELYSE, I KNOW ALL YOUR MOVES NOW.
YOU HAVE SCORED YOUR LAST BASKET.
YOU READY?
READY.
[ BEEPING ]
OH!
IN YOUR FACE.
GOOD -- GOOD SHOT. GOOD SHOT.
THANKS.
OKAY, I, UH -- I THINK I GOT THE HANG OF IT NOW.
SET 'EM UP AGAIN.
[ BEEPING ]
OH! JENNIFER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
WELL, WE ONLY RENTED THE COMPUTER FOR A WEEK.
HAS TO BE BACK TONIGHT.
IS A WEEK UP ALREADY?
NOW, LISTEN, DAD, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THESE THINGS.
YOU'VE BEEN REALLY TOLERANT, AND I APPRECIATE IT.
OH, THAT'S OKAY.
LISTEN, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT ANYMORE.
AS OF TONIGHT, IT'LL BE GONE FROM YOUR LIFE.
WELL, I'M GLAD THAT UGLY CHAPTER'S OVER WITH.
ME TOO.
ALTHOUGH JENNIFER DID SEEM TO ENJOY HAVING IT AROUND.
SHE DID.
YOU KNOW, YOU COULD ALWAYS PUT ASIDE
YOUR PERSONAL FEELINGS AND BUY HER ONE.
YOU'RE RIGHT. I SHOULD THINK ABOUT HER NEEDS FIRST.
JENNIFER! JENNIFER!
HONEY!
OKAY, MALLORY, LOOK. I WAS WRONG. I ADMIT IT.
WHY DON'T WE JUST GO OUT TO THE DRIVEWAY?
YOU CAN BACK THE CAR OVER ME A FEW TIMES.
WHERE ARE THE KEYS?
I JUST -- I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT. THAT'S ALL.
I MEAN, YOU AND ROGER WERE GREAT TOGETHER.
JUST WHAT WAS IT THAT YOU DIDN'T LIKE ABOUT HIM?
I DON'T KNOW. NOTHING IN PARTICULAR.
HE WAS A NICE GUY, RIGHT? YEAH.
AND HE WAS A GOOD-ENOUGH-LOOKING GUY, RIGHT?
KINDA CUTE, YEAH.
ALL RIGHT. I'M GETTING HIM OVER HERE.
NO! HEY, COME ON, ALEX.
NOW, CUT IT OUT!
I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH HIM ANYMORE, AND I MEAN IT.
I -- I JUST DO NOT GET IT.
WHY DIDN'T YOU TWO HIT IT OFF?
I DON'T KNOW, ALEX, BUT I DO KNOW THIS --
THAT JUST BECAUSE TWO PEOPLE
HAVE SIMILAR INTERESTS AND BACKGROUNDS
DOESN'T MEAN THEY'RE GONNA FALL IN LOVE.
WHY NOT?
BECAUSE THE RIGHT CHEMISTRY HAS TO BE THERE.
YOU KNOW, CERTAIN --
CERTAIN FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS JUST HAVE TO CLICK RIGHT,
AND THEY DIDN'T CLICK WITH ROGER AND ME.
YEAH, WELL, YOU LOOKED SO GOOD ON PAPER.
WE'RE NOT MADE OF PAPER, ALEX.
ALL RIGHT. OKAY. NOW WE'RE GETTING DOWN TO IT.
SEE, I'M MADE OF PAPER.
WELL, I DON'T ACTUALLY MEAN I'M MADE OF PAPER.
I MEAN, I'M CAPABLE OF -- I MEAN, I LIKE PAPER!
WHAT AM I TRYING TO SAY, MALLORY?
YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY, ALEX,
THAT YOU'RE NOT GOOD WITH EMOTIONS,
BUT YOU'RE GREAT WITH FACTS AND FIGURES.
RIGHT.
AND YOU LOVE A SITUATION
WHERE YOU CAN CONTROL ALL THE ELEMENTS
AND THE HUMAN EQUATION IS REMOVED.
RIGHT.
AND YOU LIKE TO BELIEVE THAT EVERY PROBLEM
HAS SOME KIND OF LOGICAL SOLUTION.
RIGHT!
ARE YOU FOLLOWING ANY OF THIS, MALLORY?
FOLLOWING IT? I'M SAYING IT.
OKAY. AS LONG AS I MADE MYSELF CLEAR.
NOW, ALEX, YOU SAW THAT ROGER AND I WEREN'T GETTING ALONG.
WHY DID YOU KEEP FORCING IT?
WELL...
BECAUSE I CAN'T...
UH...
CAN'T ACCEPT FAILURE.
YOU KNOW, I MEAN...
I JUST WANTED TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.
I REALLY DID.
AND -- AND I WAS GOING TO WHETHER YOU LIKED IT OR NOT.
THANKS, ALEX.
BUT YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND
THAT RELATIONSHIPS ARE UNPREDICTABLE.
YOU KNOW, THERE'S THAT -- THAT MAGIC.
YOU KNOW, THAT SPECIAL SOMETHING HAS TO BE THERE.
IT DEFIES LOGIC.
I KNOW.
I HATE THAT.
YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY?
SOMETIMES OPPOSITES ATTRACT.
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES YOU CAN BE ATTRACTED
TO THE LEAST LIKELY PERSON.
I HOPE I'M NOT INTERRUPTING ANYTHING.