* I BET WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER
* FOR A MILLION YEARS
* AND I BET WE'LL BE TOGETHER
* FOR A MILLION MORE
* OH, IT'S LIKE I STARTED BREATHING *
* ON THE NIGHT WE KISSED
* AND I CAN'T REMEMBER
* WHAT I EVER DID BEFORE
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US
* AND THERE AIN'T NO NOTHING
* WE CAN'T LOVE EACH OTHER THROUGH *
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US
* SHA LA LA LA *
HOW WAS THE DESIGN SHOW?
IT WAS FABULOUS.
MILES AND MILES OF NEW APPLIANCES,
WALL COVERINGS, BATHROOM FIXTURES.
IF ONLY I COULD LIVE THIS DAY OVER
AND HAVE GONE WITH YOU.
WE'RE GOING AGAIN TOMORROW.
WE'RE TRYING TO DECIDE
WHETHER TO REMODEL THE KITCHEN.
YOU'LL HAVE TO REMODEL ME FIRST.
SOUNDS LIKE ANOTHER ARGUMENT IN FAVOR.
WOULD YOU REMOVE THIS HOME SHOW STUFF?
I'VE GOT IMPORTANT BANKING PAPERS HERE.
THESE ARE JUST TRAVEL BROCHURES OF CHICAGO, ALEX.
IF YOU'RE LEAVING HOME,
PLEASE GO FURTHER THAN CHICAGO.
CHICAGO IS THE HOST CITY
FOR THE 15th ANNUAL MIDWEST BANKING SEMINAR,
WHICH I WILL BE ATTENDING.
JEALOUS, HUH?
JUST HAVE TO WATCH IT ON TELEVISION
LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE GOING.
I'M REPRESENTING HARDING TRUST, MY BANK.
LET'S TAKE OUR MONEY OUT OF THERE IMMEDIATELY.
WE ALREADY DID WHEN ALEX GOT THE JOB.
THIS BANKING CONFERENCE WILL BE GREAT.
ALL THE BEST BANKING MINDS IN THE MIDWEST
WILL BE THERE.
IT WAS AN HONOR FOR THEM TO CHOOSE YOU.
THEY HAVEN'T OFFICIALLY CHOSEN ME YET,
BUT REBECCA'S COMING OVER HERE TO TALK TO ME.
WHAT ELSE CAN IT BE?
I'M THE OBVIOUS CHOICE.
YOU AND REBECCA ARE GETTING ALONG BETTER?
WE'RE GETTING ALONG FINE NOW.
YESTERDAY SHE ONLY THREATENED TO FIRE ME TWICE.
YOU'RE A SHOO-IN.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
OH, COME IN.
I HOPE I'M NOT DISTURBING YOU.
OBVIOUSLY YOU WOULDN'T COME OVER
UNLESS YOU HAD SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY.
I HAVE SOME THINGS TO DISCUSS WITH YOU.
I'M SORRY.
WHY DO YOU HAVE A MAP OF CHICAGO?
CHICAGO HAS ALWAYS BEEN A FAVORITE CITY OF MINE.
YEAH, I'VE OFTEN DREAMED
OF WALKING THE WINDY STREETS,
PLAYING HOG BUTCHER TO THE WORLD.
IT'S A BOY'S DREAM.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO BURDEN YOU.
GOOD.
* MY KIND OF TOWN
* CHICAGO IS
* MY KIND OF TOWN
I THINK A THEME IS STARTING TO EMERGE.
YOU WANT TO GO TO THE CONFERENCE.
YOU GOT TO TAKE ME.
MY TRAVEL ALARM IS ALREADY SET FOR CHICAGO TIME.
LET ME BE FRANK.
I'VE THOUGHT LONG AND HARD
ABOUT TAKING YOU TO THIS CONFERENCE.
YOU ARE THE SHARPEST, MOST KNOWLEDGEABLE EMPLOYEE I HAVE.
YOU ARE ALSO THE MOST VOLATILE, UNPREDICTABLE,
POTENTIALLY LETHAL EMPLOYEE I HAVE.
THAT'S THE FUN SIDE OF ME.
NOT AT A BANKING CONFERENCE.
THIS CONFERENCE MEANS A LOT TO ME.
I PROMISE YOU I'LL BE PROFESSIONAL FOR THE ENTIRE TRIP.
WELL, REMEMBER THAT,
BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING.
HERE'S THE TICKET.
YOW!
* MY KIND OF TOWN
HERE'S A BEAUTIFUL KITCHEN.
WE COULD DO THAT HERE.
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO HAVE EVERYTHING BRAND-NEW?
WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT FOR SO LONG.
IT'S BEEN THE SAME SINCE I WAS BORN.
YOUR FATHER DOESN'T FEEL THE SAME WAY.
HE DOESN'T LIKE CHANGE OF ANY KIND.
I ONCE BOUGHT A DIFFERENT BRAND OF NAPKINS.
HE DEVELOPED A RASH.
IF WE GANG UP ON HIM,
HE'LL FOLD LIKE A HOUSE OF CARDS.
WE'LL DO THE LOVING DAUGHTER BIT.
HE LOVES THAT.
I DON'T WANT TO TRICK YOUR DAD.
THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF IT.
YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE MIDDLE GROUND.
YOU CAN PRETEND YOU'RE REASONABLE ABOUT THIS.
YOU COULD SAY,
"STEVEN, WE SHOULD SERIOUSLY CONSIDER
"REMODELING THIS KITCHEN.
BUT LET'S NOT BE HASTY."
AND THEN KISS HIM QUICK.
THEN WE'LL GET ALEX TO TAKE DAD'S SIDE.
ALEX WILL SAY, "THAT'S THE WORST IDEA I EVER HEARD.
DON'T TOUCH A THING."
DAD WILL BE REMODELING IN A SECOND.
OH, THAT'S REALLY APPEALING.
BUT EVEN IF HE AGREED TO REMODEL THE KITCHEN,
WE DON'T HAVE THE MONEY.
EVERYBODY, GUESS WHAT?
I GOT A RAISE!
A RAISE! THAT'S TERRIFIC!
WHAT DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD DO
WITH THE MONEY?
OHH! OHH!
YOU'RE EXCITED, HUH?
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT IT.
I THINK WE SHOULD PUT IT IN THE BANK
AND WATCH IT GROW.
THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
WHAT OTHER OPTIONS DO WE HAVE?
EITHER WE PUT IT IN THE BANK AND WATCH IT GROW,
OR WE REMODEL THE KITCHEN.
WHAT? REMODEL THE KITCHEN?
YEAH! YEAH!
NEVER! I LOVE THIS KITCHEN!
THERE'S A LOT OF HISTORY HERE.
DADDY, WE'RE SO GLAD YOU'RE HOME!
WE LOVE YOU!
AND WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU.
SO PROUD!
YOU'RE PROBABLY THE ONLY DADDY
WHO GOT A RAISE TODAY.
I WILL NEVER REMODEL THIS KITCHEN.
STEVEN, MAYBE WE SHOULD SERIOUSLY CONSIDER
REMODELING THE KITCHEN.
BUT LET'S NOT BE TOO HASTY.
I WILL NEVER REMODEL THIS KITCHEN.
OK. WELL. HERE I GO.
ALEX, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT REMODELING THE KITCHEN?
REMODEL THE KITCHEN?
THAT'S THE WORST IDEA I EVER HEARD.
DON'T TOUCH A THING.
ALL RIGHT. I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.
OK.
WHAT TIME DOES YOUR FLIGHT LEAVE, ALEX?
IN ABOUT ONE HOUR.
REBECCA'S PICKING ME UP.
THINGS SEEM TO BE GOING YOUR WAY.
ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING THAT ROCKY START
I HAD WITH REBECCA.
YOU KNOW, THAT LITTLE ERROR IN JUDGMENT I MADE.
LITTLE ERROR?
ALEX, YOU KISSED YOUR BOSS.
YEAH, I KNOW.
BUT IT WAS LATE AT NIGHT...
WE WERE ALONE IN THE BANK.
WE EACH HAD TOO MUCH MONEY TO COUNT.
ANYWAY, THAT'S HISTORY, DAD.
THAT'S IN THE PAST. THAT'S FORGOTTEN.
IT'S A SIGN OF GROWTH HOW YOU'VE ACCEPTED
HAVING A WOMAN AS BOSS.
AND I LIKE TO THINK
THAT I'VE HAD SOME EFFECT ON REBECCA, TOO.
I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT.
YOU KNOW THAT KIND OF GIRL--
WEALTHY, NEW ENGLAND, PRIVATE SCHOOL TYPE.
SNOBBISH, ALOOF, COLD.
I GUESS SHE COULD USE SOME CHANGING.
I'M TRYING TO TURN HER INTO THAT.
THAT'S HER BACKGROUND,
BUT BESIDES THAT STUFF, WHICH I LOVE,
SHE'S A LITTLE UPTIGHT.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
WELL, THERE SHE IS.
HI, ALEX. ARE YOU READY?
READY AS CAN BE.
WE REALLY APPRECIATE
YOUR TAKING ALEX ALONG WITH YOU.
WE CAN USE THE REST.
I'M REALLY TAKING ALEX ALONG BECAUSE HE'S VERY SHARP,
AND I'M AFRAID TO LEAVE HIM ALONE AT THE BANK.
I WAS WRONG TO TAKE YOU.
THE FLIGHT WAS GREAT.
WHAT ABOUT THAT SCENE WITH THE STEWARDESS?
I WASN'T RIGHT?
AFTER A CERTAIN AGE,
THEY DON'T GIVE YOU THOSE LITTLE WINGS ANYMORE.
OK. IT WAS A ROUGH START.
I WAS A LITTLE EXCITED,
BUT I KNOW WHAT'S CALLED FOR HERE, REBECCA--
PROFESSIONALISM, DECORUM, RESERVE.
HEY. ALEX KEATON, HARDING TRUST.
[BEEP BEEP]
WHERE YOU FROM, BUDDY?
IS THAT YOUR WIFE? WHOA!
WHAT?
GOOD AFTERNOON. HOW MAY I HELP YOU?
YOU HAVE A RESERVATION FOR REBECCA RYAN.
SUITE 412 IN THE WEST TOWER.
A PORTER WILL BE ALONG SHORTLY TO TAKE YOUR BAGS.
THANK YOU.
HEY.
GOOD AFTERNOON, SIR.
THERE SHOULD BE A SUITE WAITING FOR ME.
THE NAME'S KEATON, ALEX P. KEATON.
I'M WITH THE BANKING CONFERENCE.
UH...
I HAVE NO RESERVATION FOR KEATON.
WELL, THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE.
JUST TRY AGAIN.
I'M SORRY. WE'RE ALL BOOKED UP.
THERE ARE NO ROOMS AVAILABLE.
NEXT, PLEASE.
LOOK. COULD YOU AT LEAST
RECOMMEND ME TO ANOTHER HOTEL?
EVERY HOTEL IN CHICAGO IS FULL.
THERE'S A BLIZZARD STARTING.
PEOPLE CAN'T EVEN LEAVE THE CITY.
EXCUSE ME.
DO YOU BELIEVE THIS?
THEY DON'T HAVE MY RESERVATION.
ALEX, I'M REALLY SORRY.
I GOT TO GO SHOWER.
GOOD LUCK.
WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE.
I DON'T NEED LUCK.
I NEED TOWELS.
I NEED MINTS ON MY PILLOW.
I'D REALLY LOVE TO HELP YOU,
BUT WHAT CAN I DO?
WELL...
DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT!
COME ON, REBECCA. YOU GOT A SUITE.
I CANNOT HAVE YOU SLEEPING IN MY R--
ALL RIGHT.
I'M AN OFFICER OF THE BANK.
I HAVE A REPUTATION TO UPHOLD.
WAIT. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
ARE YOU AFRAID I'LL PEEK?
ARE YOU AFRAID I'M GOING TO TRY SOMETHING?
COME ON, REBECCA, THIS IS BUSINESS.
I'M HERE REPRESENTING HARDING BANK--
YOUR BANK.
I GOT TO BE ALERT. I NEED SOME REST.
THERE'S NOTHING PERSONAL ABOUT THIS.
OK, ALEX. YOU WIN.
WHAT CHOICE DO I HAVE?
YOU CAN SHARE MY SUITE WITH ME.
OK. GREAT.
WE'RE GOING TO BE LIVING TOGETHER.
[HORN BLOWS]
IT'LL BE GREAT BEING ROOMIES.
SAY THAT AGAIN, I'LL FIRE YOU.
THEN I'LL BEAT YOU UP.
I'LL MAKE THIS EASY AS POSSIBLE.
I'LL BE QUIET AS A MOUSE.
YOU'LL HARDLY KNOW I'M AROUND.
IF YOU WANT TO HAVE GUYS OVER,
HANG A SOCK ON THE DOOR.
THIS IS YOU. SUITE 412.
CORNER SUITE.
[HONK]
I LOVE IT.
THIS IS A SUITE?
THIS MUST BE A SITTING ROOM, RIGHT?
SURE. YOU CAN SIT IN HERE.
IF YOU'LL ALLOW ME TO SQUEEZE THROUGH HERE,
I'LL SHOW YOU SOME OF THE FEATURES
OF THIS ROOM.
THERE ARE NO FEATURES IN THIS ROOM.
THANKS FOR POINTING THAT OUT.
NO PROBLEM.
I'LL GET THE OTHER LUGGAGE.
ALEX.
EXCUSE ME.
NEED ANYTHING ELSE?
SOME, UH...
SOME ICE, PERHAPS?
WHERE WOULD WE PUT IT?
THANKS.
ALL RIGHT. OK.
WE'RE IN A BIT OF A ROUGH SPOT HERE.
IT'S A LITTLE AWKWARD.
COULD BE WORSE.
WE MIGHT NOT BE IN A SUITE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
JUST SITTING HERE...
THINKING.
WE'VE HAD WONDERFUL TIMES
IN THIS KITCHEN, HAVEN'T WE?
WE'LL HAVE GOOD TIMES IN THE NEW KITCHEN, TOO.
HOW CAN YOU BE SURE?
WHAT IF THIS KITCHEN'S THE REASON
WE'VE BEEN SO HAPPY FOR ALL THESE YEARS?
DON'T FORGET THE OTHER ROOMS.
THEY'VE HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT.
I'VE HAD GREAT TIMES IN THE LIVING ROOM.
MAYBE THE REASON YOU HAD GREAT TIMES THERE
IS BECAUSE IT'S SO CLOSE TO THE KITCHEN.
HONEY, HONEY, I KNOW THIS IS DIFFICULT FOR YOU.
I KNOW YOU HAVE AMBIVALENT FEELINGS
ABOUT CHANGES IN THE KITCHEN,
BUT THAT'S WHY I WENT OUT,
AND I HIRED GEORGE BELLACK.
HE'S AN EXCELLENT INTERIOR DESIGNER.
HE'S GOING TO COME IN,
HE'S GOING TO CONSULT,
AND HE'S GOING TO GO VERY, VERY SLOWLY.
ALL RIGHT, ELYSE.
I'M APPROACHING THIS WITH AN OPEN MIND.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I WANT SOMETHING TO REMEMBER THE KITCHEN BY.
MAL, JEN, CAN I HAVE A SHOT
BY THE REFRIGERATOR?
MOM, STOP HIM.
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
A FEW SHOTS FOR THE WALLET.
MAL, GET SOME ICE CUBES. COME ON--ACTION.
GOOD!
IT'S GEORGE BELLACK.
GEORGE, COME IN.
THIS IS MY HUSBAND STEVEN.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
OUR DAUGHTERS JENNIFER AND MALLORY.
GIRLS.
WE'RE THRILLED YOU'RE GOING TO BE HANDLING THIS.
ANYTHING FOR YOU, ELYSE.
WELL, TAKE A LOOK AROUND.
DON'T HOLD BACK. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
LET'S START WITH THE SMALL THINGS.
THIS WALL MUST GO.
WHAT? I LOVE THIS WALL.
THIS IS A HISTORICAL WALL.
WE MEASURED THE KIDS' GROWTH ON THIS WALL.
LOOK, UH...
MALLORY AT 3,
JENNIFER AT 3...
ALEX AT 3.
MR. KEATON, THIS WALL IS WHAT'S PREVENTING THIS KITCHEN
FROM SPRINGING TO LIFE,
FROM REACHING ITS FULL POTENTIAL AS A FAMILY CENTER.
THIS WALL IS PREVENTING THE HOUSE FROM FALLING DOWN.
STEVEN, WOULD YOU JUST LET GEORGE DO HIS WORK?
CERTAINLY, CERTAINLY.
IF I MAY PROCEED.
I SEE A HUGE BAY WINDOW!
WITH SHELVES,
AND GREENERY CASCADING DOWN,
AND LACE CURTAINS
FRAMING A WONDERFUL PANORAMIC VIEW.
THAT SOUNDS FABULOUS.
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
A BAY WINDOW IN MY KITCHEN.
THAT SOUNDS GREAT, DOESN'T IT, DAD?
TO ACCOMODATE THIS BAY WINDOW,
WE'LL HAVE TO LOSE A GOOD PORTION OF THIS WALL.
ANOTHER WALL? WHY NOT JUST DYNAMITE THE ROOM?
STEVEN, WOULD YOU HEAR HIM OUT?
I'M SORRY.
THIS IS ALL HAPPENING TOO FAST.
WE NEED A LITTLE MORE TIME TO DECIDE
EXACTLY WHAT WE WANT TO DO IN HERE,
TO MULL OVER GEORGE'S WONDERFULLY INNOVATIVE
AND INSANE IDEAS.
WE'LL CALL YOU IN A COUPLE OF DAYS.
DO YOU HAVE A CARD?
CALL ME.
WE'LL TALK.
HOW COULD YOU LET GEORGE GO?
HE WAS OUR ONLY HOPE.
THE KITCHEN OF TOMORROW WAS ALMOST OURS.
WE DON'T NEED GEORGE.
HIS IDEAS AREN'T RIGHT FOR OUR LIFESTYLE.
WE NEED SOMEBODY WHO UNDERSTANDS OUR HOUSE,
WHO KNOWS IT, WHO CARES ABOUT IT.
WHO MIGHT THAT BE?
YOU'RE LOOKING AT HIM.
OHH! OHH! OHH!
LET'S MAKE THE BEST OF IT. WE'LL UNPACK FIRST.
WHO GETS THE HANGER?
IT'S MY ROOM. I SHOULD GET IT.
WHAT WILL I DO WITH ALL OF MY CLOTHES?
WHY DON'T YOU WEAR THEM?
I GOT 16 SUITS.
I'LL LIKE LIKE A TWEEDY VERSION OF THE MICHELIN MAN.
I DON'T THINK THIS WILL WORK OUT.
COME ON, IT'S AN ADVENTURE.
DIDN'T YOU EVER HAVE A ROOMMATE?
DIDN'T YOU EVER GO CAMPING?
GET TRAPPED IN A MINE?
I HAVE A CONFESSION.
DON'T MAKE IT A BIG ONE.
WE DON'T HAVE THE ROOM.
I WAS AN ONLY CHILD.
I HAD MY OWN ROOM.
I ATTENDED AN EXCLUSIVE BOARDING SCHOOL.
EVERYONE HAD A PRIVATE SUITE.
DO YOU HAVE THE ADDRESS?
THE POINT IS, I'VE NEVER LIVED WITH ANYONE,
AND I'D RATHER NOT START WITH YOU.
YOU THINK THIS IS A PICNIC FOR ME?
YOU THINK THIS IS MY IDEA OF PARADISE?
DO YOU THINK I PLANNED THIS?
I'M NOT SO SURE.
THIS IS ALL BEGINNING TO MAKE SENSE TO ME.
IT'S BECOMING VERY CLEAR.
FIRST YOU BEG ME TO TAKE YOU ALONG.
I AGREE OUT OF KINDNESS.
THEN YOUR RESERVATION MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARS,
SO I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO TAKE YOU IN.
COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT.
YOU GOT ME, REBECCA!
YOU GOT ME.
THIS HAS ALL JUST BEEN A PLOY
TO SPEND A NIGHT IN THIS ROOM WITH YOU.
THE PLANE TRIP,
THE BLIZZARD...
EVERY HOTEL IN CHICAGO BOOKED SOLID.
I ARRANGED THAT.
SURE IT COST ME SOME BUCKS.
IT'S ALL PART OF MY MASTER PLAN.
THE BANKING CONVENTION-- A RUSE.
NONE OF THESE PEOPLE ARE BANKERS.
THEY ALL WORK FOR ME.
HEY, BILL, HARRY, LARRY!
YEAH, GO HOME!
NO, SHE'S ONTO IT.
WE'LL TRY AGAIN NEXT YEAR WITH ANOTHER GIRL.
FINE! GREAT!
IN FACT, REBECCA, THE WHOLE DAMN CITY OF CHICAGO
DOES NOT EXIST!
THIS IS MY BASEMENT!
OK, ALEX. I THINK YOU'VE MADE YOUR POINT.
I APOLOGIZE.
MY ACCUSATION WAS UNCALLED FOR.
I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY.
WE NEED AIR IN HERE.
I'M BEGINNING TO FEEL CLAUSTROPHOBIC.
MAYBE WE COULD OPEN A WINDOW.
GOOD IDEA.
LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE.
AT LEAST WE CAN'T PUSH EACH OTHER OUT.
THIS IS CRAZY.
I'M EXHAUSTED.
ALL I NEED IS JUST A LITTLE REST.
GOOD. GOOD. GOOD IDEA.
JUST GO AHEAD.
ARE YOU GOING TO BREATHE THAT LOUDLY THE WHOLE WEEKEND?
WHY DON'T YOU KILL ME NOW?
THROW MY BODY IN THE HALL.
WE'D HAVE MORE ROOM.
WE HAVE A MEETING IN TWO HOURS.
COULD WE HAVE SOME QUIET?
OK. FINE. I'LL TRY NOT TO BREATHE.
ARE YOU GOING TO HOVER OVER ME THE WHOLE TIME?
I PLAN TO.
I'M HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME.
LOOK, ALEX, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET A REST, TOO?
FINE. OK. SURE.
TELL YOU WHAT-- I'LL SLEEP IN THE BATHTUB.
IT'S A STANDUP SHOWER.
ALL RIGHT. YOU CAN LIE HERE.
THANK YOU.
GREAT.
OK, THIS IS GREAT.
YEP...
THIS IS COZY.
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.