* I BET WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER * FOR A MILLION YEARS * AND I BET WE'LL BE TOGETHER * FOR A MILLION MORE * OH, IT'S LIKEI STARTED BREATHING * * ON THE NIGHT WE KISSED * AND I CAN'T REMEMBER * WHAT I EVER DID BEFORE * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US * AND THERE AIN'T NO NOTHING * WE CAN'T LOVEEACH OTHER THROUGH * * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US * SHA LA LA LA * HOW WASTHE DESIGN SHOW? IT WAS FABULOUS. MILES AND MILESOF NEW APPLIANCES, WALL COVERINGS,BATHROOM FIXTURES. IF ONLY I COULDLIVE THIS DAY OVER AND HAVE GONE WITH YOU. WE'RE GOING AGAINTOMORROW. WE'RE TRYING TO DECIDE WHETHER TO REMODELTHE KITCHEN. YOU'LL HAVE TOREMODEL ME FIRST. SOUNDS LIKE ANOTHERARGUMENT IN FAVOR. WOULD YOU REMOVETHIS HOME SHOW STUFF? I'VE GOT IMPORTANTBANKING PAPERS HERE. THESE ARE JUSTTRAVEL BROCHURESOF CHICAGO, ALEX. IF YOU'RELEAVING HOME, PLEASE GO FURTHERTHAN CHICAGO. CHICAGO IS THE HOST CITY FOR THE 15th ANNUALMIDWEST BANKING SEMINAR, WHICH I WILLBE ATTENDING. JEALOUS, HUH? JUST HAVE TOWATCH IT ON TELEVISION LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. I DIDN'T KNOWYOU WERE GOING. I'M REPRESENTINGHARDING TRUST, MY BANK. LET'S TAKE OUR MONEYOUT OF THEREIMMEDIATELY. WE ALREADY DIDWHEN ALEX GOT THE JOB. THISBANKING CONFERENCEWILL BE GREAT. ALL THE BESTBANKING MINDSIN THE MIDWEST WILL BE THERE. IT WAS AN HONORFOR THEM TO CHOOSE YOU. THEY HAVEN'TOFFICIALLYCHOSEN ME YET, BUT REBECCA'SCOMING OVER HERETO TALK TO ME. WHAT ELSE CAN IT BE? I'M THE OBVIOUSCHOICE. YOU AND REBECCA AREGETTING ALONG BETTER? WE'RE GETTING ALONGFINE NOW. YESTERDAY SHEONLY THREATENEDTO FIRE ME TWICE. YOU'RE A SHOO-IN. [KNOCK ON DOOR] OH, COME IN. I HOPE I'M NOTDISTURBING YOU. OBVIOUSLY YOUWOULDN'T COME OVER UNLESS YOUHAD SOMETHINGIMPORTANT TO SAY. I HAVE SOME THINGSTO DISCUSS WITH YOU. I'M SORRY. WHY DO YOU HAVEA MAP OF CHICAGO? CHICAGO HAS ALWAYSBEEN A FAVORITE CITYOF MINE. YEAH,I'VE OFTEN DREAMED OF WALKINGTHE WINDY STREETS, PLAYING HOG BUTCHERTO THE WORLD. IT'S A BOY'S DREAM. I DIDN'T MEANTO BURDEN YOU. GOOD. * MY KIND OF TOWN * CHICAGO IS * MY KIND OF TOWN I THINK A THEMEIS STARTING TO EMERGE. YOU WANT TO GOTO THE CONFERENCE. YOU GOT TO TAKE ME. MY TRAVEL ALARMIS ALREADY SETFOR CHICAGO TIME. LET ME BE FRANK. I'VE THOUGHTLONG AND HARD ABOUT TAKING YOUTO THIS CONFERENCE. YOU ARE THE SHARPEST,MOST KNOWLEDGEABLEEMPLOYEE I HAVE. YOU ARE ALSOTHE MOST VOLATILE,UNPREDICTABLE, POTENTIALLY LETHALEMPLOYEE I HAVE. THAT'S THE FUN SIDEOF ME. NOT ATA BANKING CONFERENCE. THIS CONFERENCEMEANS A LOT TO ME. I PROMISE YOUI'LL BE PROFESSIONALFOR THE ENTIRE TRIP. WELL, REMEMBER THAT, BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING. HERE'S THE TICKET. YOW! * MY KIND OF TOWN HERE'SA BEAUTIFUL KITCHEN. WE COULDDO THAT HERE. WOULDN'T IT BE GREATTO HAVE EVERYTHINGBRAND-NEW? WE'VE BEENTALKING ABOUT ITFOR SO LONG. IT'S BEEN THE SAMESINCE I WAS BORN. IT'S BEEN THE SAMESINCE I WAS BORN. YOUR FATHER DOESN'TFEEL THE SAME WAY. HE DOESN'T LIKE CHANGEOF ANY KIND. I ONCE BOUGHTA DIFFERENT BRANDOF NAPKINS. HE DEVELOPED A RASH. IF WE GANG UPON HIM, HE'LL FOLD LIKEA HOUSE OF CARDS. WE'LL DO THELOVING DAUGHTER BIT. HE LOVES THAT. I DON'T WANT TOTRICK YOUR DAD. THAT'STHE BEAUTY OF IT. YOU'RE GOING TO TAKEMIDDLE GROUND. YOU CAN PRETENDYOU'RE REASONABLEABOUT THIS. YOU COULD SAY, "STEVEN, WE SHOULDSERIOUSLY CONSIDER "REMODELINGTHIS KITCHEN. BUT LET'S NOTBE HASTY." AND THENKISS HIM QUICK. THEN WE'LL GET ALEXTO TAKE DAD'S SIDE. ALEX WILL SAY,"THAT'S THE WORST IDEAI EVER HEARD. DON'T TOUCH A THING." DAD WILL BE REMODELINGIN A SECOND. OH, THAT'SREALLY APPEALING. BUT EVEN IF HE AGREEDTO REMODEL THE KITCHEN, WE DON'T HAVE THE MONEY. EVERYBODY, GUESS WHAT? I GOT A RAISE! A RAISE!THAT'S TERRIFIC! WHAT DO YOU THINKWE SHOULD DO WITH THE MONEY? OHH!OHH! YOU'RE EXCITED, HUH? WHAT DO YOU THINK? I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT IT. I THINK WE SHOULDPUT IT IN THE BANK AND WATCH IT GROW. THAT'SA GREAT IDEA. WHAT OTHER OPTIONSDO WE HAVE? EITHER WE PUT ITIN THE BANKAND WATCH IT GROW, OR WE REMODELTHE KITCHEN. WHAT? REMODEL THE KITCHEN? YEAH!YEAH! NEVER!I LOVE THIS KITCHEN! THERE'S A LOTOF HISTORY HERE. DADDY,WE'RE SO GLADYOU'RE HOME! WE LOVE YOU! AND WE'RESO PROUD OF YOU. SO PROUD! YOU'RE PROBABLYTHE ONLY DADDY WHO GOTA RAISE TODAY. I WILL NEVERREMODEL THIS KITCHEN. STEVEN, MAYBE WE SHOULDSERIOUSLY CONSIDER REMODELING THE KITCHEN. BUT LET'S NOTBE TOO HASTY. I WILL NEVER REMODELTHIS KITCHEN. OK. WELL. HERE I GO. ALEX, WHAT DOYOU THINK ABOUTREMODELING THE KITCHEN? REMODEL THE KITCHEN? THAT'S THE WORSTIDEA I EVER HEARD. DON'T TOUCH A THING. ALL RIGHT.I'LL THINK ABOUT IT. OK. WHAT TIME DOES YOURFLIGHT LEAVE, ALEX? IN ABOUT ONE HOUR. REBECCA'SPICKING ME UP. THINGS SEEM TO BEGOING YOUR WAY. ESPECIALLY CONSIDERINGTHAT ROCKY START I HAD WITH REBECCA. YOU KNOW, THAT LITTLEERROR IN JUDGMENT I MADE. LITTLE ERROR? ALEX, YOU KISSEDYOUR BOSS. YEAH, I KNOW. BUT IT WASLATE AT NIGHT... WE WERE ALONEIN THE BANK. WE EACH HAD TOO MUCHMONEY TO COUNT. ANYWAY, THAT'SHISTORY, DAD. THAT'S IN THE PAST.THAT'S FORGOTTEN. IT'S A SIGN OF GROWTHHOW YOU'VE ACCEPTED HAVING A WOMAN AS BOSS. AND I LIKE TO THINK THAT I'VE HAD SOME EFFECTON REBECCA, TOO. I'M SORRYTO HEAR THAT. YOU KNOWTHAT KIND OF GIRL-- WEALTHY, NEW ENGLAND,PRIVATE SCHOOL TYPE. SNOBBISH, ALOOF, COLD. I GUESS SHE COULDUSE SOME CHANGING. I'M TRYING TOTURN HER INTO THAT. THAT'S HER BACKGROUND, BUT BESIDES THAT STUFF,WHICH I LOVE, SHE'S A LITTLE UPTIGHT. [KNOCK ON DOOR] WELL, THERE SHE IS. HI, ALEX.ARE YOU READY? READY AS CAN BE. WE REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR TAKING ALEXALONG WITH YOU. WE CAN USE THE REST. I'M REALLY TAKING ALEX ALONGBECAUSE HE'S VERY SHARP, AND I'M AFRAIDTO LEAVE HIM ALONEAT THE BANK. I WAS WRONGTO TAKE YOU. THE FLIGHTWAS GREAT. WHAT ABOUT THAT SCENEWITH THE STEWARDESS? I WASN'T RIGHT? AFTER A CERTAIN AGE, THEY DON'T GIVE YOUTHOSE LITTLE WINGS ANYMORE. OK. IT WASA ROUGH START. I WASA LITTLE EXCITED, BUT I KNOW WHAT'SCALLED FOR HERE,REBECCA-- PROFESSIONALISM,DECORUM, RESERVE. HEY. ALEX KEATON,HARDING TRUST. [BEEP BEEP] WHERE YOU FROM,BUDDY? IS THAT YOUR WIFE?WHOA! WHAT? GOOD AFTERNOON.HOW MAY I HELP YOU? YOU HAVEA RESERVATIONFOR REBECCA RYAN. SUITE 412IN THE WEST TOWER. A PORTER WILLBE ALONG SHORTLYTO TAKE YOUR BAGS. THANK YOU. HEY. GOOD AFTERNOON, SIR. THERE SHOULDBE A SUITEWAITING FOR ME. THE NAME'S KEATON,ALEX P. KEATON. I'M WITH THEBANKING CONFERENCE. UH... I HAVE NO RESERVATIONFOR KEATON. WELL, THERE MUST BESOME MISTAKE. JUST TRY AGAIN. I'M SORRY.WE'RE ALL BOOKED UP. THERE ARE NO ROOMSAVAILABLE. NEXT, PLEASE. LOOK. COULD YOUAT LEAST RECOMMEND METO ANOTHER HOTEL? EVERY HOTELIN CHICAGO IS FULL. THERE'SA BLIZZARD STARTING. PEOPLE CAN'T EVENLEAVE THE CITY. EXCUSE ME. DO YOU BELIEVE THIS? THEY DON'T HAVEMY RESERVATION. ALEX,I'M REALLY SORRY. I GOT TO GO SHOWER. GOOD LUCK. WAIT A MINUTE.WAIT A MINUTE. I DON'TNEED LUCK. I NEED TOWELS. I NEED MINTSON MY PILLOW. I'D REALLYLOVE TO HELP YOU, BUT WHAT CAN I DO? WELL... DON'T EVENTHINK ABOUT THAT! COME ON, REBECCA.YOU GOT A SUITE. I CANNOT HAVE YOUSLEEPING IN MY R-- ALL RIGHT. I'M AN OFFICEROF THE BANK. I HAVE A REPUTATIONTO UPHOLD. WAIT. WHATARE YOU AFRAID OF? ARE YOU AFRAIDI'LL PEEK? ARE YOU AFRAIDI'M GOING TOTRY SOMETHING? COME ON, REBECCA,THIS IS BUSINESS. I'M HEREREPRESENTINGHARDING BANK-- YOUR BANK. I GOT TO BE ALERT.I NEED SOME REST. THERE'S NOTHINGPERSONAL ABOUT THIS. OK, ALEX. YOU WIN. WHAT CHOICEDO I HAVE? YOU CAN SHAREMY SUITE WITH ME. OK. GREAT. WE'RE GOING TO BELIVING TOGETHER. [HORN BLOWS] IT'LL BE GREATBEING ROOMIES. SAY THAT AGAIN,I'LL FIRE YOU. THEN I'LL BEAT YOU UP. I'LL MAKE THISEASY AS POSSIBLE. I'LL BE QUIETAS A MOUSE. YOU'LL HARDLY KNOWI'M AROUND. IF YOU WANTTO HAVE GUYS OVER, HANG A SOCKON THE DOOR. THIS IS YOU.SUITE 412. CORNER SUITE. [HONK] I LOVE IT. THIS IS A SUITE? THIS MUST BEA SITTING ROOM, RIGHT? SURE. YOU CANSIT IN HERE. IF YOU'LL ALLOW METO SQUEEZE THROUGH HERE, I'LL SHOW YOUSOME OF THE FEATURES OF THIS ROOM. THERE ARE NO FEATURESIN THIS ROOM. THANKS FORPOINTING THAT OUT. NO PROBLEM. I'LL GETTHE OTHER LUGGAGE. ALEX. EXCUSE ME. NEED ANYTHING ELSE? SOME, UH... SOME ICE, PERHAPS? WHERE WOULD WEPUT IT? THANKS. ALL RIGHT. OK. WE'RE IN A BIT OFA ROUGH SPOT HERE. IT'SA LITTLE AWKWARD. COULD BE WORSE. WE MIGHT NOT BEIN A SUITE. WHAT AREYOU DOING? JUST SITTING HERE... THINKING. WE'VE HADWONDERFUL TIMES IN THIS KITCHEN,HAVEN'T WE? WE'LL HAVE GOOD TIMESIN THE NEW KITCHEN, TOO. HOW CAN YOUBE SURE? WHAT IFTHIS KITCHEN'STHE REASON WE'VE BEENSO HAPPY FORALL THESE YEARS? DON'T FORGETTHE OTHER ROOMS. THEY'VE HAD SOMETHINGTO DO WITH IT. I'VE HAD GREAT TIMESIN THE LIVING ROOM. MAYBE THE REASONYOU HAD GREAT TIMESTHERE IS BECAUSEIT'S SO CLOSETO THE KITCHEN. HONEY, HONEY, I KNOWTHIS IS DIFFICULTFOR YOU. I KNOW YOU HAVEAMBIVALENT FEELINGS ABOUT CHANGESIN THE KITCHEN, BUT THAT'S WHYI WENT OUT, AND I HIREDGEORGE BELLACK. HE'S AN EXCELLENTINTERIOR DESIGNER. HE'S GOING TOCOME IN, HE'S GOING TO CONSULT, AND HE'S GOING TO GOVERY, VERY SLOWLY. ALL RIGHT, ELYSE. I'M APPROACHING THISWITH AN OPEN MIND. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I WANT SOMETHINGTO REMEMBER THE KITCHEN BY. MAL, JEN, CAN IHAVE A SHOT BY THE REFRIGERATOR? MOM, STOP HIM. WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? A FEW SHOTSFOR THE WALLET. MAL, GET SOME ICE CUBES.COME ON--ACTION. GOOD! IT'S GEORGE BELLACK. GEORGE, COME IN. THIS IS MY HUSBANDSTEVEN. NICE TO MEET YOU. OUR DAUGHTERSJENNIFER AND MALLORY. GIRLS. WE'RE THRILLED YOU'REGOING TO BE HANDLING THIS. ANYTHING FOR YOU, ELYSE. WELL, TAKE A LOOKAROUND. DON'T HOLD BACK.WHAT DO YOU THINK? LET'S START WITHTHE SMALL THINGS. THIS WALL MUST GO. WHAT?I LOVE THIS WALL. THIS ISA HISTORICAL WALL. WE MEASURED THE KIDS' GROWTHON THIS WALL. LOOK, UH... MALLORY AT 3, JENNIFER AT 3... ALEX AT 3. MR. KEATON, THIS WALLIS WHAT'S PREVENTINGTHIS KITCHEN FROM SPRINGING TO LIFE, FROM REACHINGITS FULL POTENTIALAS A FAMILY CENTER. THIS WALL ISPREVENTING THE HOUSEFROM FALLING DOWN. STEVEN, WOULD YOUJUST LET GEORGEDO HIS WORK? CERTAINLY,CERTAINLY. IF I MAY PROCEED. I SEE A HUGEBAY WINDOW! WITH SHELVES, AND GREENERYCASCADING DOWN, AND LACE CURTAINS FRAMING A WONDERFULPANORAMIC VIEW. THAT SOUNDSFABULOUS. I'VEALWAYS WANTED A BAY WINDOWIN MY KITCHEN. THAT SOUNDS GREAT,DOESN'T IT, DAD? TO ACCOMODATETHIS BAY WINDOW, WE'LL HAVE TO LOSE A GOODPORTION OF THIS WALL. ANOTHER WALL?WHY NOT JUSTDYNAMITE THE ROOM? STEVEN, WOULD YOUHEAR HIM OUT? I'M SORRY. THIS IS ALLHAPPENING TOO FAST. WE NEED A LITTLEMORE TIME TO DECIDE EXACTLY WHAT WEWANT TO DO IN HERE, TO MULL OVERGEORGE'S WONDERFULLYINNOVATIVE AND INSANE IDEAS. WE'LL CALL YOUIN A COUPLE OF DAYS. DO YOUHAVE A CARD? CALL ME. WE'LL TALK. HOW COULD YOULET GEORGE GO? HE WAS OUR ONLY HOPE. THE KITCHEN OF TOMORROWWAS ALMOST OURS. WE DON'TNEED GEORGE. HIS IDEASAREN'T RIGHTFOR OUR LIFESTYLE. WE NEED SOMEBODYWHO UNDERSTANDSOUR HOUSE, WHO KNOWS IT,WHO CARES ABOUT IT. WHO MIGHT THAT BE? YOU'RE LOOKING AT HIM. OHH!OHH!OHH! LET'S MAKETHE BEST OF IT.WE'LL UNPACK FIRST. WHO GETS THE HANGER? IT'S MY ROOM.I SHOULD GET IT. WHAT WILL I DOWITH ALL OF MY CLOTHES? WHY DON'T YOUWEAR THEM? I GOT 16 SUITS. I'LL LIKE LIKEA TWEEDY VERSIONOF THE MICHELIN MAN. I DON'T THINKTHIS WILL WORK OUT. COME ON,IT'S AN ADVENTURE. DIDN'T YOU EVERHAVE A ROOMMATE? DIDN'T YOU EVERGO CAMPING? GET TRAPPED IN A MINE? I HAVE A CONFESSION. DON'T MAKE ITA BIG ONE. WE DON'T HAVETHE ROOM. I WAS AN ONLY CHILD. I HAD MY OWN ROOM. I ATTENDEDAN EXCLUSIVEBOARDING SCHOOL. EVERYONE HADA PRIVATE SUITE. DO YOU HAVETHE ADDRESS? THE POINT IS,I'VE NEVER LIVEDWITH ANYONE, AND I'D RATHER NOTSTART WITH YOU. YOU THINK THISIS A PICNIC FOR ME? YOU THINK THIS ISMY IDEA OF PARADISE? DO YOU THINKI PLANNED THIS? I'M NOT SO SURE. THIS IS ALL BEGINNINGTO MAKE SENSE TO ME. IT'S BECOMING VERY CLEAR. FIRST YOU BEG METO TAKE YOU ALONG. I AGREE OUT OF KINDNESS. THEN YOUR RESERVATIONMYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARS, SO I HAVE NO CHOICEBUT TO TAKE YOU IN. COINCIDENCE?I THINK NOT. YOU GOT ME, REBECCA! YOU GOT ME. THIS HAS ALLJUST BEEN A PLOY TO SPEND A NIGHTIN THIS ROOM WITH YOU. THE PLANE TRIP, THE BLIZZARD... EVERY HOTEL IN CHICAGOBOOKED SOLID. I ARRANGED THAT. SURE IT COST MESOME BUCKS. IT'S ALL PARTOF MY MASTER PLAN. THE BANKING CONVENTION--A RUSE. NONE OF THESE PEOPLEARE BANKERS. THEY ALL WORK FOR ME. HEY, BILL,HARRY, LARRY! YEAH, GO HOME! NO, SHE'S ONTO IT. WE'LL TRY AGAIN NEXT YEARWITH ANOTHER GIRL. FINE! GREAT! IN FACT, REBECCA,THE WHOLE DAMN CITYOF CHICAGO DOES NOT EXIST! THIS IS MY BASEMENT! OK, ALEX. I THINKYOU'VE MADE YOUR POINT. I APOLOGIZE. MY ACCUSATIONWAS UNCALLED FOR. I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY. WE NEED AIR IN HERE. I'M BEGINNING TO FEELCLAUSTROPHOBIC. MAYBE WE COULDOPEN A WINDOW. GOOD IDEA. LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE. AT LEAST WE CAN'TPUSH EACH OTHER OUT. THIS IS CRAZY. I'M EXHAUSTED. ALL I NEEDIS JUST A LITTLE REST. GOOD. GOOD.GOOD IDEA. JUST GO AHEAD. ARE YOU GOING TOBREATHE THAT LOUDLYTHE WHOLE WEEKEND? WHY DON'T YOUKILL ME NOW? THROW MY BODYIN THE HALL. WE'D HAVE MORE ROOM. WE HAVE A MEETINGIN TWO HOURS. COULD WE HAVESOME QUIET? OK. FINE. I'LL TRYNOT TO BREATHE. ARE YOU GOING TOHOVER OVER METHE WHOLE TIME? I PLAN TO. I'M HAVINGSUCH A GOOD TIME. LOOK, ALEX,WHY DON'T YOU JUSTGET A REST, TOO? FINE. OK. SURE. TELL YOU WHAT--I'LL SLEEPIN THE BATHTUB. IT'S A STANDUPSHOWER. ALL RIGHT.YOU CAN LIE HERE. THANK YOU. GREAT. OK, THIS IS GREAT. YEP... THIS IS COZY. CAPTIONING PERFORMED BYTHE NATIONAL CAPTIONINGINSTITUTE, INC.