[ THEME SONG PLAYS ] * I BET WE'VE BEEN TOGETHERFOR A MILLION YEARS * * AND I'LL BET WE'LL BE TOGETHERFOR A MILLION MORE * * OH, IT'S LIKEI STARTED BREATHING * * ON THE NIGHT WE KISSED * AND I CAN'T REMEMBERWHAT I EVER DID BEFORE * * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * AND THEREAIN'T NO NOTHIN' * * WE CAN'T LOVEEACH OTHER THROUGH * * OOH-HOO * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * SHA-LA-LA-LA OKAY, NOW,IF YOU'RE REAL CAREFUL, IT ALL COMES OFF IN ONE... LONG... PIECE. SEE?NOW ME. YOU GOT IT, PALLY. HEY, HEY,WHAT'S GOING ON? OH, IT'S JUST A LITTLEGAME FOR ANDY, MOM. IT'S GOOD FOR THE OLDMANUAL DEXTERITY. HOW ARE WE GONNA KNOWWHAT'S IN THESE CANS NOW? DON'T FRET. WE'LL JUST WRITEDOWN WHAT IS IN EACH CAN. AND THAT WAY,NOTHING'S LOST. SEE, THIS ONE'S PEACHES.THIS ONE'S PEAS. OR WAS THIS ONE PEAS? DON'T LOOK AT ME. ALL RIGHT. UH, ALEX, JUST GET THESE CANSPUT AWAY, OKAY? UNCLE ROB'S GONNABE HERE ANY SECOND. OKAY? IT WOULD BE NICE IFTHE HOUSE LOOKED HALFWAY DECENT. OH, HI. SORRY I'M LATE. I STOPPED OFFAT SCHWELLER'S TO PICK UP SOME STRUDELFOR DESSERT. OH. ANDY AND I WERE GONNAMAKE CHOCOLATE-CHIP COOKIES. OH, NO. NO. IT HAS TO BESTRUDEL FROM SCHWELLER'S. IT'S EXACTLY THE KIND THEY MADEAT HOFSTEDER'S BAKERY BACK IN BUFFALOWHEN ROB AND I WERE KIDS. HEY, SHOULDN'T HEBE HERE BY NOW? I MEAN, HIS PLANE LANDEDTWO HOURS AGO. OH, HE'S PROBABLY CAUGHTIN TRAFFIC ON THE EXPRESSWAY. THIS IS A FIRST.MY BROTHER IS ACTUALLY LATE. KNOWING ROB, YOU'D THINK HE'D GET OFFAT THE NEAREST EXIT AND CALL. HE'S THE MOST ORGANIZED,RESPONSIBLE HUMAN BEING I'VE EVER MET. [ CLEARS THROAT ] EXCEPT FOR YOU, ALEX. THANK YOU.YEAH, I LOVE UNCLE ROB. HE IS THE BEST -- ALL-AMERICAN, CONSERVATIVE,A FAMILY MAN. I LIKE THE FACTTHAT I'M RELATED TO HIM. REASSURES ME I DIDN'TJUST COME FROM NOWHERE. HI. WE'RE GOINGDOWN TO THE MALL TO GET OUR BLOOD PRESSURECHECKED. OH, WAIT A MINUTE.UNCLE ROB'S GONNABE HERE ANY SECOND. UM, YEAH. WE WANT TO BEIN PERFECT HEALTH FOR WHEN HE GETS HERE. YOU SEE, THERE'S THISHEALTHMOBILE DOWN THERE, AND IT'S IMPORTANT THATWE CHECK THESE THINGS OFTEN, ESPECIALLYWHILE WE'RE YOUNG. THERE'S A CUTE PARAMEDIC THAT I THINKJENNIFER OUGHT TO MEET. OH. HEY!HI!WHOA! HOW ARE YOU,SWEETHEART? HI!HI! HI.HI, JEN. LONG TIME, NO SEE. TOO LONG. JUST SEEING YOUMAKES MY BLOOD PRESSURE SOAR. WE BETTER GET GOING,JENNIFER. BYE-BYE. Steven: OKAY, OKAY.WE'LL SEE YOU LATER. ELYSE, OTHER WOMENGROW OLDER. YOU GROW MORE YOUTHFULAND BEAUTIFUL EACH TIME I SEE YOU. OH, ROB... KEEP TALKING. IT'S TRUE. HEY, HEY.ALEX! MARKET'S UP, INFLATION IS DOWN,REAGAN'S IN THE WHITE HOUSE. CAN WE PICK THEMOR WHAT? THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANTTHINGS IN THE WORLD THAN MONEYAND POLITICS, ALEX. OH, OH, ALL RIGHT. WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT LATERWHEN DAD'S NOT IN THE ROOM. STEVIE!WHERE'S THE STRUDEL? AW, ROBBY,LOOK AT THIS! AW, YOU... GEEZ, ROB, YOU'RE DRESSING MORECASUAL THESE DAYS. I LIKE IT. YEAH. I DECIDED I WAS SPENDINGTOO MUCH OF MY TIME WALKING AROUNDIN A SUIT AND A TIE. YOU KNOW, THAT AFFECTSTHE WAY YOU VIEW THE WORLD -- KEEPS YOU BUTTONED UP. MAYBE YOU SHOULDGO UPSTAIRS AND CHANGE. WE WERE WORRIEDABOUT YOU, ROB. IT'S NOT LIKE YOUTO BE LATE. WHY ARE YOU SO HUNG UPON TIME ALL OF A SUDDEN? WE'RE ONLY ON THIS EARTHA SHORT WHILE, STEVEN. THE IDEA IS TO LIVEEACH MOMENT TO ITS FULLEST. EXPERIENCE EVERYTHING. IF SOMETIMES WE STRAYOFF THE NORMAL PATH... HEY! THAT CANBE GROOVY, TOO. HE SURE LOOKEDLIKE MY BROTHER. AAH! AAH! OH, ANDY? ANDREW! COME IN HERE,WOULD YOU, LAD? AHA, HEY. DID YOU DO THIS? NO. THEN WHO DID? BAD GUYS. I SEE. OKAY. WELL, I'M GONNAGET BLAMED FOR IT BECAUSE I SHOWED THE BAD GUYSHOW TO DO IT. OKAY. WELL, THEN, IT SEEMS TO MEWE HAVE TWO OPTIONS HERE. NOW, WE CAN EITHERHIDE THIS STUFF AND PRETEND WE DON'TKNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT, OR WE CAN COME CLEAN AND TELL MOM THE TRUTH. HIDE THEM. THAT'S MY BOY.LET'S GO. COME ON. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. WOULD YOU LIKETO ATTEMPT TO EXPLAIN THIS? ALL RIGHT, MOM. ALL RIGHT, MOM. WE CAN'T HIDE ITANY LONGER. WE'RE HOOKED ON IT, MOM. WE CAN'THELP OURSELVES. WE ARE A COUPLEOF HARDENED... CRIMINAL CAN-PEELERS. MOM, WE'RE WANTEDIN EVERY STATE. WE GIVE UP. [ LAUGHING ] BOYS, THIS IS NOTA LAUGHING MATTER. D-DO YOU REALIZE... I'M SORRY. DO YOU REALIZETHAT WE'RE NOT GONNA KNOW WHAT WE'RE EATING AROUND HEREFOR MONTHS TO COME? OH, MOM, THAT COULD BEA WELCOME CHANGE. RUN FOR IT!GO! COME ON. STEVEN, I CANNOT BELIEVE IT.AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, YOU STILL CAN'TGO TO YOUR LEFT. I CAN GOTO MY LEFT, ROB -- JUST NOTWITH A BASKETBALL. ANYWAY, I LET YOU WIN.OH, REALLY? YEAH. YOU'REMY BIG BROTHER. I DIDN'T WANT TO SEE YOU CRY.IT WOULD BE EMBARRASSING. HEY! HEY, HOW WOULD YOULIKE A HEADLOCK? AAH! HEY, COME ON, ROB.LET GO OF ME. NO HEADLOCKS.CALLED IT. OKAY. YOU'RE LUCKYYOU CALLED IT. [ CHUCKLES ] WE'RE OFF TO THE MALL AGAIN. THE HEALTHMOBILEOPENS AT 10:00. WE'VE BEEN ASKED BACKFOR GLAUCOMA TESTS. YOU'VE GOT IT ALLHERE, STEVEN -- GREAT WIFE, GREAT KIDS. THE WHOLE PACKAGE. YOU TOO, ROB. NOT TOO BAD FOR A COUPLEOF MOOKS FROM BUFFALO, HUH? YOU KNOW, STEVEN,THERE'S SOMETHING I'VE BEEN HOLDING ON TOSINCE I GOT HERE. WELL, IT'S GONNA SURPRISE YOUWHEN I TELL YOU. AND THERE'S -- THERE'S NO WAYYOU CAN BE READY FOR THIS. I'M READY FOR ANYTHING.TRY ME. MAUREEN AND IARE SEPARATED. I WASN'TREADY FOR THAT. WELL, IT'S BEEN COMINGFOR A LONG TIME. YOU AND MAUREEN? DOESN'T SEEM POSSIBLE. THE LAST FEW YEARS,WE'VE PRETTY MUCH BEEN KEEPING IT TOGETHEROUT OF HABIT, REALLY. L-LIKE TWO HORSESPULLING A WAGON, YOU KNOW -- DAY AFTER DAY,YEAR AFTER YEAR, FAMILIAR WITH EACH OTHER, ACCUSTOMED TO BEINGAT EACH OTHER'S SIDE, BUT NOT REALLY CRAZYABOUT EACH OTHER, AND GETTING DAMN TIREDOF PULLING THE WAGON. WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS? MARILYN MOVED OUTABOUT SIX MONTHS AGO. SHE'S LIVINGWITH A VIETNAMESE FAMILY ON A HOUSEBOATON LAKE HURON. SHE SAYS SHE'S VERY HAPPY. THE PEOPLE ARE NICE.THE FISHING IS GOOD. WHAT ABOUT JONATHAN?HE'S ONLY 11. WELL, THAT'S TOUGHER,OF COURSE. BUT IT COULD BE WORSE FOR HIMGROWING UP IN A BAD MARRIAGE. DID I INTERRUPTSOMETHING? ROBERT'S GOTSOME BAD NEWS, ELYSE. OH, NO, NO.IT'S -- IT'S NOT BAD NEWS. UH, IT'S GOOD NEWS. GOOD NEWS? OH.WELL, TELL ME, ROB. MY MARRIAGE IS OVER. I-I DON'T KNOWWHAT TO SAY. I MEAN, "CONGRATULATIONS"DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT. YOU KNOW, I MET A GIRLON THE PLANE. AND I'VE GOT A DATETONIGHT. SO, JUST --BE HAPPY FOR ME. HE'S BEEN MARRIED 25 YEARS. HE'S GOT A WIFE,TWO KIDS, AND A DATE. WHY SHOULDN'T WEBE HAPPY? FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!ALEX, YOU DON'T KNOW. YOU COULD HAVE GLAUCOMAOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND NOT EVEN KNOW IT.ALL RIGHT. OKAY.ALL RIGHT. I WILL BE TESTED, OKAY?YOU HAPPY? YOU SATISFIED? WHAT DO YOU GET, A COMMISSIONON THESE TESTS OR WHAT? IT'S FOR YOUR OWNGOOD, TOO, ALEX. MOM, DAD, YOU'LL BEHAPPY TO KNOW THAT MALLORY AND IDO NOT HAVE GLAUCOMA. WONDERFUL, HONEY.GREAT NEWS. YOU DON'TSOUND THRILLED. [ SIGHS ]WE HAVE SOME BAD NEWS. W-WE DON'T WANTTO UPSET YOU, BUT YOU NEED TO KNOW. YOUR UNCLE ROB AND AUNT MAUREENHAVE SEPARATED. What? NO. NO, NO. NO, NO.I'M SORRY. UH, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.UNCLE ROB? UNCLE ROB IS NOT THE KIND OF GUYWHO GETS SEPARATED. HE'S A REPUBLICAN. A REPUBLICAN? YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. ALEX, RONALD REAGANWAS DIVORCED. HE WAS A DEMOCRATAT THE TIME. ALEX, BOTH POLITICAL PARTIESARE EQUALLY GOOD AT THIS. I KNOW. I MEAN,HALF THE KIDS IN MY CLASS HAVE PARENTSWHO ARE SEPARATED. THIS MUST BETHE SEPARATION DECADE. SEPARATION, SUSHI,AND DESIGNER JEANS -- THAT'S THE '80s. THANK YOU FOR THATIN-DEPTH ANALYSIS. [ DOORBELL RINGS ]I'LL GET IT. NO, NO. THAT'S --THAT'S PROBABLY ROB'S DATE. HIS WHAT? HE'S GOING OUTON A DATE TONIGHT. HE HAS A DATE?! THE MAN ISA REGISTERED REPUBLICAN. YES, HE HAS A DATE.IS THAT SO STRANGE? HE'S SEPARATED,AND HE HAS A DATE. NOW, LET'S LET HER IN.AND PLEASE, TREAT HER WITH RESPECT. SHE'S YOUR UNCLE'S DATE. HELLO. I'M KATHY BRADY.I'M HERE FOR BOB. BOB? ROB. WE CALL HIM ROB. THIS IS THE KEATON HOUSE?Steven: OH, YES. OH, YES. YES.I'M ELYSE KEATON. HELLO.AND THIS IS STEVEN -- HI. NICE TO MEET YOU.AND JENNIFERAND MALLORY... HELLO.AND ALEX. HI.HI. HE TOLD ME HE LIKESTO BE CALLED BOB. OH. WELL, HE NEVERTOLD US THAT. WE CALL HIM ROB. HEY, KATH! HI. HAS EVERYBODYMET EVERYBODY? OH, BOY, YES.YES. WELL, GREAT. GREAT. KATHY AND I ARE GOINGTO THIS REALLY HOT DISCO SHE KNOWS ABOUT. DO YOU WANT TO COME? OH, NO. NO, NO. WE'VE PLANNED A QUIETEVENING AT HOME. MAKE SOME TAPIOCA. YOU GOT IT, BABE. OH, LISTEN, ROB-BOB... WHAT... WHAT TIME DO YOU THINKYOU'LL BE HOME? DON'T WAIT UP, BRO. WHOA. BYE.BYE-BYE. YEAH.YEAH, RIGHT. DON'T DANCE TOO HARD!NICE TO SEE YA. WEAR THOSESAFETY BELTS! OKAY. WHAT THE HELLWAS THAT? OKAY, ANDY, LISTEN UP, BUD.MOM NEEDS PEACHES. SHE SAYS SHE BOUGHTTHEM ESPECIALLY FOR THIS RECIPESHE'S MAKING. SO, WHAT WE HAVE TO DOIS FIND OUT WHICH ONE OF THESE CANSHAS THE PEACHES IN THEM WITHOUT OPENINGEVERY CAN IN THE HOUSE. NO PROBLEM. ALL RIGHT, OKAY. HAS UNCLE ROBBEEN DOWN YET? UH, YEAH. HE WENT JOGGINGABOUT AN HOUR AGO. THAT'S REALLY SOMETHING. HE ONLY CAME INTHREE HOURS AGO. HOW DO YOU KNOW? BECAUSE I WAS UP ALL NIGHTLISTENING TO DAD PACE. [ SIGHS ] DAD'S REALLYTAKING THIS HARD, ISN'T HE? I KNOW. MOM SAYS HE'S BEEN UPEVERY NIGHT THIS WEEK LOOKING THROUGHOLD PHOTO ALBUMS -- YOU KNOW, PICTURESOF ROB AND MAUREEN. YEAH. YOU KNOW DAD.HE JUST-- HE JUST DOESN'T HANDLESEPARATIONS WELL. HE STILL HASN'T GOTTEN OVERTHE SUPREMES BREAKING UP. YEAH. I REMEMBERHE SAT UP ALL NIGHT LOOKING AT PICTURESOF THEM, TOO. I HATE THIS SITUATIONWITH UNCLE ROB. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. I MEAN, CAN I TALK TO HIMABOUT THE SITUATION? CAN I TALKABOUT AUNT MAUREEN? CAN I STILLCALL HER AUNT MAUREEN? YEAH. JUST -- IT'S TOO BADTHAT YOU KIDS HAVE TO BE WITNESS TO THIS UNSETTLINGADULT BEHAVIOR. I THINK YOU CAN JUST COMFORTYOURSELF BY LOOKING AT IT IN A DETACHED,KIND OF ANALYTICAL FASHION. WELL, I FEELBETTER ALREADY. OH, COME ON. I MEAN, BASICALLY,WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS A FAILED MERGER. NOT UNLIKE THE BREAKUPOF THE PHONE COMPANY. ALTHOUGH OBVIOUSLYLESS EMOTIONAL. NOTHING MORE THANA NATURAL FLUCTUATION IN THE MARKETPLACEOF LOVE AND MARRIAGE. YOU SHOULD WRITEROMANCE NOVELS, ALEX. OH, GOOD MORNING, GUYS. HI.MORNING. ANYBODY WANTSOME BREAKFAST? OH, NO. WE'VE EATENALREADY. THANKS. BUT IF YOU'RE HAVING SOME,MAY I SUGGEST SOME OFOUR FINE CANNED GOODS? UH, NO, THANKS. WELL, ANYONE WANTTO STAY AROUND AND JOIN MEWHILE I HAVE SOME BREAKFAST? NO. IT'S BEEN A ROUGH DAY.I THINK, UH... I THINK WE'RE GONNATURN IN.YEAH. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. STOP. STOP.NO, IT'S NOT EVEN 8:15 A.M. UH, IT COULDN'T HAVE BEENTHAT ROUGH A DAY. COME ON NOW, I INSIST.YOU GUYS SIT BACK DOWN HERE. AND WE'RE GONNA TALKTHIS THING OUT. COME ON.EVERYONE SIT DOWN. [ SIGHS ] OKAY. MY SEPARATIONFROM AUNT MAUREEN IS UPSETTING YOU ALL. WHO'S AUNT MAUREEN? Shh. OKAY. IT'S NOT UPSETTINGANDREW THAT MUCH. HOW ABOUT YOU, ALEX? ALL RIGHT.LOOK, I'D BE LYING IF I SAID I WASN'TDISAPPOINTED. I UNDERSTAND. I MEAN,I'M NOT A BABY. I KNOW THATTHESE THINGS HAPPEN, BUT THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSEDTO HAPPEN TO YOU, UNCLE ROB. YOU'RE ONE OFTHE GOOD GUYS. YOU'RE A FATHER.YOU'RE A HUSBAND. YOU'RE A CPA. WELL, IT COULD HAPPENTO ANYONE, ALEX, EVEN A CPA. I DON'T KNOW.I GUESS I JUST HAVE AN OVERLY ROMANTIC VIEWOF ACCOUNTING. AND LOVE. AND LOVE. UNCLE ROB, I GUESSIT'S JUST HARD FOR US TO GET USED TO, YOU KNOW,YOU DATING ANOTHER WOMAN. I GUESSWE'RE JUST STUNNED. SURE. I UNDERSTAND THAT. IT'S JUST WEIRDFOR US. Elyse: MAYBE WE SHOULDGO RUNNING. A LITTLE EXERCISEMIGHT HELP. NOTHING CAN HELP.THIS IS A DISASTER. REFERRING TO MY SITUATION? NO. [ CHUCKLING ] WHAT SITUATION? YOU? YOU'RE GREAT.YOU'RE HAPPY. YOU'RE DISCOING. THERE'S NO SITUATION. WHAT'S THAT? OH, NOTHING. IT'S JUST A PHOTO ALBUMOF SOMEBODY'S WEDDING. YOU KNOW, STEVE, I-I JUST POLLEDOUR LITTLE GROUP HERE ABOUT THEIR REACTION TO MY BEINGSEPARATED FROM MAUREEN. WE HAVE, UH...STUNNED, DISAPPOINTED, WEIRD. WELL, PLEASE ADDCONCERNED... AND BERSERK. YEAH, I'M HAVING REAL TROUBLEACCEPTING IT. I KNOW I SHOULD BETRYING TO SUPPORT YOU. WELL, I'LL TELL YOU, STEVE,I REALLY COULD USE YOUR SUPPORT. WE WANT TO HELPYOU, ROB. WE DO.YEAH.YEAH. GOOD. GREAT. WELL, YOU'RE BACKINGA WINNER HERE. I MEAN THAT. I MEAN, I MET A NICE GIRL,AND THAT'S A BIG STEP. KATHY AND I ARE -- WE'RE HAVINGA GREAT TIME TOGETHER. I'D LIKE YOU TO GETTO KNOW HER BETTER. MAYBE YOU WOULDN'TFEEL SO AWKWARD THEN. HOW ABOUT... HOW ABOUT IF WE INVITED HERTO DINNER? WELL, SURE. I'D LOVE IT. HOW ABOUT TONIGHT? OKAY, HERE WE GO. HUH? WHAT'S THIS? A LITTLE SOMETHINGI LIKE TO CALL EVERYTHING BUT PEACHES. IT'S A CULINARYMASTERPIECE. I'M TELLING YOU, PUT SALADDRESSING ON THESE THINGS -- THESE VEGGIES TOOK OFF!ASK THEM. MMM.MMM. LISTEN... YOUR MOTHER AND IWANT TO REMIND YOU THAT THIS LITTLE GET-TOGETHERIS NOT AN EASY THING FOR YOURUNCLE ROB-BOB. OKAY. WELL, UH...LET'S JUST BE SENSITIVE, ALL OF US. HE'LL, UH, BE COMING HEREWITH ANOTHER WOMAN, NOT HIS WIFE.CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? STEVEN. PLEASE.I'M OKAY. I'M ALL RIGHT.BUT HOW CAN HE POSSIBLY-- TALKING ABOUT ME? OH, NO! NO.THIS IS, UH... JUST A LITTLEFAMILY HUDDLE -- SOMETHING WE ALWAYS DOBEFORE GUESTS ARRIVE. NOW, LET'S GET IN THEREAND HAVE A GREAT DINNER. READY? All: BREAK! YOU GUYS... I'M UPSTAIRS,I'M LOOKING IN THE MIRROR, I CAN'T BELIEVE MY EYES.I AM YOUNG AGAIN! I MEAN, LOOK AT ME. I DIDN'T LOOK THIS YOUNGWHEN I WAS THIS YOUNG. YOU'RE YOUNGISHLOOKING.YOUNG-FUL. I'M 45 YEARS OLD. NOW, TELL THE HONEST TRUTH.HOW OLD DO I LOOK? 13. [ DOORBELL RINGS ] THAT MUST BE KATHY. HI, KATH.HI. COME ON IN. YOU'VE --YOU'VE MET EVERYBODY. OH, SURE. HI.COME ON, SIT DOWN. HELLO AGAIN.HELLO. GLAD YOUCOULD MAKE IT. OH, IT'S NICE TO BE HERE.THANKS FOR ASKING ME. I HEAR YOU TWO HAVE REALLY BEENDOING THE TOWN. YOU HEAR RIGHT.WE'VE BEEN DANCING ALMOSTEVERY NIGHT THIS WEEK. DO YOU GUYS DISCO? NOT -- NOT AS MUCHAS WE SHOULD. I'M JUST CRAZY FOR IT. I MEAN, I LOVE TO BE OUT THERE,WHIRLING AROUND WITH THOSE LIGHTS STROBING --IT'S FANTASTIC. IT'S HARD FOR ME TO PICTURE YOUOUT THERE DANCING AROUND. WHY IS THAT? BECAUSE YOU HATE DANCING.YOU ALWAYS HATED DANCING. I REMEMBER YOU USED TO SAY,"BETTER DEAD THAN DANCING." OH, THAT WASN'T ME.THAT WAS YOU. YOU SAID THAT.YOU HATED TO DANCE. I NEVER SAID THAT, AND I NEVERHATED TO DANCE. YOU DID. WELL, LET MEVOUCH FOR BOB. HE LOVES TO DANCE NOW. WELL, LET'S GET THAT SORTED OUT.IS IT BOB OR ROB? WHICH ONE IS IT? HEY, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?ROB, BOB -- WHO CARES? I CARE. I LIKE TO KNOWWHO I'M TALKING TO. IS IT MY BROTHER ROBOR DISCO BOB? STEVEN, CAN I SPEAK TO YOUIN THE KITCHEN FOR A MOMENT? NO. BOB, MAY I SPEAK TOYOU IN THE KITCHENFOR A MOMENT?NO. KATHY, COULD I SPEAKTO YOU IN THE KITCHENFOR A MOMENT? YES. WE'D LIKE TO COME TO THE KITCHENAND SPEAK ALONG WITH YOU. YOU'RE THE ONEWHO HATED TO DANCE. AND WHAT'S MORE,YOU COULDN'T DANCE. I SAW YOU WITH MAUREENAT YOUR WEDDING, AND YOU COULDN'TDANCE AT ALL. THAT'S BECAUSE MAUREENCAN'T DANCE AT ALL. SO WE DANCED BADTOGETHER. WHO ARE YOU KIDDING? THIS ISN'T ABOUTDANCING, STEVE. THIS ISABOUT ACCEPTANCE. YOU CAN'T ACCEPT MEFOR WHO I AM. YOU'RE RIGHT. I CAN'T. I CAN'T. I MISS THE GUYWHO DANCED BAD WITH MAUREEN. HE'S GONE, STEVE. I DON'T THINK SO. I THINK HE'S HERE, AND I THINK HIS PLACEIS WITH HIS FAMILY. AND I THINK WITHSOME TIME AND SOME HELP, HE CAN FIND WHATHE'S LOOKING FOR WITH THEM. THIS IS REALLY FUNNY. YOU'RE LECTURING MEABOUT RESPONSIBILITY. MARRIAGE IS FOR BETTEROR WORSE, ROB. YOU DON'T RUN OUT'CAUSE YOUR WIFE BURNED THE TOASTONE MORNING OR YOU FOUND SOMEONE ELSEWITH LONGER LEGS. IT'S NOT ABOUT BURNT TOAST,STEVE. IF IT WAS, I'D HAVE LEFTA LONG TIME AGO. DON'T TALK TO MEABOUT MARRIAGE, OKAY? I WAS MARRIED WHILE YOU WERECOLLECTING BASEBALL CARDS. YOU HAD IT ALL,DAMN IT! A WIFE, TWO KIDS,A GOOD JOB! WHAT DID I HAVE, STEVE? I NEVER WANTED TO BE A CPA.YOU KNOW THAT. MOM SAID AND POP SAID,"GO ON, ROBBY BOY. "BE A CPA. TAKE THE TEST.YOU'LL BE HAPPY. "GO ON, ROBBY. GET MARRIED.YOU'LL BE HAPPY. HAVE TWO KIDS.YOU'LL BE HAPPY." I DID EVERYTHING THEY SAID.I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT. I'M NOT HAPPY! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY?I HATE HEARING THAT. HEAR IT. THEY LIED TO ME. THEY TOLD METHAT THE DREAM WAS REAL. THEY LIED, I LISTENED. I'M NOT GETTINGANY YOUNGER, STEVIE. I WANT ANOTHER CHANCE. I WANT TO HAVEA LIFE, TOO. [ DOORBELL RINGS ] MAUREEN. WHAT A COINCIDENCE. WE WERE JUST TALKINGABOUT YOU. I'LL BET.