[ THEME SONG PLAYS ]
* I BET WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR A MILLION YEARS *
* AND I'LL BET WE'LL BE TOGETHER FOR A MILLION MORE *
* OH, IT'S LIKE I STARTED BREATHING *
* ON THE NIGHT WE KISSED
* AND I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT I EVER DID BEFORE *
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US?
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US?
* AND THERE AIN'T NO NOTHIN' *
* WE CAN'T LOVE EACH OTHER THROUGH *
* OOH-HOO
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US?
* SHA-LA-LA-LA
OKAY, NOW, IF YOU'RE REAL CAREFUL,
IT ALL COMES OFF
IN ONE...
LONG...
PIECE.
SEE? NOW ME.
YOU GOT IT, PALLY.
HEY, HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
OH, IT'S JUST A LITTLE GAME FOR ANDY, MOM.
IT'S GOOD FOR THE OLD MANUAL DEXTERITY.
HOW ARE WE GONNA KNOW WHAT'S IN THESE CANS NOW?
DON'T FRET. WE'LL JUST WRITE DOWN WHAT IS IN EACH CAN.
AND THAT WAY, NOTHING'S LOST.
SEE, THIS ONE'S PEACHES. THIS ONE'S PEAS.
OR WAS THIS ONE PEAS?
DON'T LOOK AT ME.
ALL RIGHT. UH, ALEX,
JUST GET THESE CANS PUT AWAY, OKAY?
UNCLE ROB'S GONNA BE HERE ANY SECOND.
OKAY? IT WOULD BE NICE IF THE HOUSE LOOKED HALFWAY DECENT.
OH, HI. SORRY I'M LATE.
I STOPPED OFF AT SCHWELLER'S
TO PICK UP SOME STRUDEL FOR DESSERT.
OH. ANDY AND I WERE GONNA MAKE CHOCOLATE-CHIP COOKIES.
OH, NO. NO. IT HAS TO BE STRUDEL FROM SCHWELLER'S.
IT'S EXACTLY THE KIND THEY MADE AT HOFSTEDER'S BAKERY
BACK IN BUFFALO WHEN ROB AND I WERE KIDS.
HEY, SHOULDN'T HE BE HERE BY NOW?
I MEAN, HIS PLANE LANDED TWO HOURS AGO.
OH, HE'S PROBABLY CAUGHT IN TRAFFIC ON THE EXPRESSWAY.
THIS IS A FIRST. MY BROTHER IS ACTUALLY LATE.
KNOWING ROB,
YOU'D THINK HE'D GET OFF AT THE NEAREST EXIT AND CALL.
HE'S THE MOST ORGANIZED, RESPONSIBLE HUMAN BEING
I'VE EVER MET.
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
EXCEPT FOR YOU, ALEX.
THANK YOU. YEAH, I LOVE UNCLE ROB.
HE IS THE BEST --
ALL-AMERICAN, CONSERVATIVE, A FAMILY MAN.
I LIKE THE FACT THAT I'M RELATED TO HIM.
REASSURES ME I DIDN'T JUST COME FROM NOWHERE.
HI. WE'RE GOING DOWN TO THE MALL
TO GET OUR BLOOD PRESSURE CHECKED.
OH, WAIT A MINUTE. UNCLE ROB'S GONNA BE HERE ANY SECOND.
UM, YEAH. WE WANT TO BE IN PERFECT HEALTH
FOR WHEN HE GETS HERE.
YOU SEE, THERE'S THIS HEALTHMOBILE DOWN THERE,
AND IT'S IMPORTANT THAT WE CHECK THESE THINGS OFTEN,
ESPECIALLY WHILE WE'RE YOUNG.
THERE'S A CUTE PARAMEDIC
THAT I THINK JENNIFER OUGHT TO MEET.
OH.
HEY! HI! WHOA!
HOW ARE YOU, SWEETHEART?
HI! HI!
HI. HI, JEN.
LONG TIME, NO SEE.
TOO LONG. JUST SEEING YOU MAKES MY BLOOD PRESSURE SOAR.
WE BETTER GET GOING, JENNIFER.
BYE-BYE.
Steven: OKAY, OKAY. WE'LL SEE YOU LATER.
ELYSE, OTHER WOMEN GROW OLDER.
YOU GROW MORE YOUTHFUL AND BEAUTIFUL
EACH TIME I SEE YOU.
OH, ROB...
KEEP TALKING.
IT'S TRUE.
HEY, HEY. ALEX!
MARKET'S UP,
INFLATION IS DOWN, REAGAN'S IN THE WHITE HOUSE.
CAN WE PICK THEM OR WHAT?
THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS IN THE WORLD
THAN MONEY AND POLITICS, ALEX.
OH, OH, ALL RIGHT.
WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT LATER WHEN DAD'S NOT IN THE ROOM.
STEVIE! WHERE'S THE STRUDEL?
AW, ROBBY, LOOK AT THIS!
AW, YOU...
GEEZ, ROB, YOU'RE DRESSING MORE CASUAL THESE DAYS. I LIKE IT.
YEAH. I DECIDED I WAS SPENDING TOO MUCH OF MY TIME
WALKING AROUND IN A SUIT AND A TIE.
YOU KNOW, THAT AFFECTS THE WAY YOU VIEW THE WORLD --
KEEPS YOU BUTTONED UP.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO UPSTAIRS AND CHANGE.
WE WERE WORRIED ABOUT YOU, ROB.
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU TO BE LATE.
WHY ARE YOU SO HUNG UP ON TIME ALL OF A SUDDEN?
WE'RE ONLY ON THIS EARTH A SHORT WHILE, STEVEN.
THE IDEA IS TO LIVE EACH MOMENT TO ITS FULLEST.
EXPERIENCE EVERYTHING.
IF SOMETIMES WE STRAY OFF THE NORMAL PATH...
HEY! THAT CAN BE GROOVY, TOO.
HE SURE LOOKED LIKE MY BROTHER.
AAH!
OH, ANDY?
ANDREW!
COME IN HERE, WOULD YOU, LAD?
AHA, HEY.
DID YOU DO THIS?
NO.
THEN WHO DID?
BAD GUYS.
I SEE. OKAY.
WELL, I'M GONNA GET BLAMED FOR IT
BECAUSE I SHOWED THE BAD GUYS HOW TO DO IT.
OKAY. WELL, THEN, IT SEEMS TO ME WE HAVE TWO OPTIONS HERE.
NOW, WE CAN EITHER HIDE THIS STUFF
AND PRETEND WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT,
OR WE CAN COME CLEAN
AND TELL MOM THE TRUTH.
HIDE THEM.
THAT'S MY BOY. LET'S GO. COME ON.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT. WOULD YOU LIKE TO ATTEMPT TO EXPLAIN THIS?
ALL RIGHT, MOM.
WE CAN'T HIDE IT ANY LONGER.
WE'RE HOOKED ON IT, MOM.
WE CAN'T HELP OURSELVES.
WE ARE A COUPLE OF HARDENED...
CRIMINAL CAN-PEELERS.
MOM, WE'RE WANTED IN EVERY STATE.
WE GIVE UP.
[ LAUGHING ]
BOYS, THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER.
D-DO YOU REALIZE...
I'M SORRY.
DO YOU REALIZE THAT WE'RE NOT GONNA KNOW
WHAT WE'RE EATING AROUND HERE FOR MONTHS TO COME?
OH, MOM, THAT COULD BE A WELCOME CHANGE.
RUN FOR IT! GO! COME ON.
STEVEN, I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. AFTER ALL THESE YEARS,
YOU STILL CAN'T GO TO YOUR LEFT.
I CAN GO TO MY LEFT, ROB --
JUST NOT WITH A BASKETBALL.
ANYWAY, I LET YOU WIN. OH, REALLY?
YEAH. YOU'RE MY BIG BROTHER.
I DIDN'T WANT TO SEE YOU CRY. IT WOULD BE EMBARRASSING.
HEY! HEY, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A HEADLOCK?
AAH! HEY, COME ON, ROB. LET GO OF ME.
NO HEADLOCKS. CALLED IT.
OKAY. YOU'RE LUCKY YOU CALLED IT.
[ CHUCKLES ]
WE'RE OFF TO THE MALL AGAIN.
THE HEALTHMOBILE OPENS AT 10:00.
WE'VE BEEN ASKED BACK FOR GLAUCOMA TESTS.
YOU'VE GOT IT ALL HERE, STEVEN --
GREAT WIFE, GREAT KIDS.
THE WHOLE PACKAGE.
YOU TOO, ROB.
NOT TOO BAD FOR A COUPLE OF MOOKS FROM BUFFALO, HUH?
YOU KNOW, STEVEN, THERE'S SOMETHING
I'VE BEEN HOLDING ON TO SINCE I GOT HERE.
WELL, IT'S GONNA SURPRISE YOU WHEN I TELL YOU.
AND THERE'S -- THERE'S NO WAY YOU CAN BE READY FOR THIS.
I'M READY FOR ANYTHING. TRY ME.
MAUREEN AND I ARE SEPARATED.
I WASN'T READY FOR THAT.
WELL, IT'S BEEN COMING FOR A LONG TIME.
YOU AND MAUREEN?
DOESN'T SEEM POSSIBLE.
THE LAST FEW YEARS, WE'VE PRETTY MUCH
BEEN KEEPING IT TOGETHER OUT OF HABIT, REALLY.
L-LIKE TWO HORSES PULLING A WAGON, YOU KNOW --
DAY AFTER DAY, YEAR AFTER YEAR,
FAMILIAR WITH EACH OTHER,
ACCUSTOMED TO BEING AT EACH OTHER'S SIDE,
BUT NOT REALLY CRAZY ABOUT EACH OTHER,
AND GETTING DAMN TIRED OF PULLING THE WAGON.
WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS?
MARILYN MOVED OUT ABOUT SIX MONTHS AGO.
SHE'S LIVING WITH A VIETNAMESE FAMILY
ON A HOUSEBOAT ON LAKE HURON.
SHE SAYS SHE'S VERY HAPPY.
THE PEOPLE ARE NICE. THE FISHING IS GOOD.
WHAT ABOUT JONATHAN? HE'S ONLY 11.
WELL, THAT'S TOUGHER, OF COURSE.
BUT IT COULD BE WORSE FOR HIM GROWING UP IN A BAD MARRIAGE.
DID I INTERRUPT SOMETHING?
ROBERT'S GOT SOME BAD NEWS, ELYSE.
OH, NO, NO. IT'S -- IT'S NOT BAD NEWS.
UH, IT'S GOOD NEWS.
GOOD NEWS? OH. WELL, TELL ME, ROB.
MY MARRIAGE IS OVER.
I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
I MEAN, "CONGRATULATIONS" DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT.
YOU KNOW, I MET A GIRL ON THE PLANE.
AND I'VE GOT A DATE TONIGHT.
SO, JUST -- BE HAPPY FOR ME.
HE'S BEEN MARRIED 25 YEARS.
HE'S GOT A WIFE, TWO KIDS, AND A DATE.
WHY SHOULDN'T WE BE HAPPY?
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! ALEX, YOU DON'T KNOW.
YOU COULD HAVE GLAUCOMA OR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE
AND NOT EVEN KNOW IT. ALL RIGHT. OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
I WILL BE TESTED, OKAY? YOU HAPPY? YOU SATISFIED?
WHAT DO YOU GET, A COMMISSION ON THESE TESTS OR WHAT?
IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, TOO, ALEX.
MOM, DAD, YOU'LL BE HAPPY TO KNOW
THAT MALLORY AND I DO NOT HAVE GLAUCOMA.
WONDERFUL, HONEY. GREAT NEWS.
YOU DON'T SOUND THRILLED.
[ SIGHS ] WE HAVE SOME BAD NEWS.
W-WE DON'T WANT TO UPSET YOU,
BUT YOU NEED TO KNOW.
YOUR UNCLE ROB AND AUNT MAUREEN HAVE SEPARATED.
What?
NO. NO, NO. NO, NO. I'M SORRY.
UH, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. UNCLE ROB?
UNCLE ROB IS NOT THE KIND OF GUY WHO GETS SEPARATED.
HE'S A REPUBLICAN.
A REPUBLICAN?
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
ALEX, RONALD REAGAN WAS DIVORCED.
HE WAS A DEMOCRAT AT THE TIME.
ALEX, BOTH POLITICAL PARTIES ARE EQUALLY GOOD AT THIS.
I KNOW. I MEAN, HALF THE KIDS IN MY CLASS
HAVE PARENTS WHO ARE SEPARATED.
THIS MUST BE THE SEPARATION DECADE.
SEPARATION, SUSHI, AND DESIGNER JEANS --
THAT'S THE '80s.
THANK YOU FOR THAT IN-DEPTH ANALYSIS.
[ DOORBELL RINGS ] I'LL GET IT.
NO, NO. THAT'S -- THAT'S PROBABLY ROB'S DATE.
HIS WHAT?
HE'S GOING OUT ON A DATE TONIGHT.
HE HAS A DATE?!
THE MAN IS A REGISTERED REPUBLICAN.
YES, HE HAS A DATE. IS THAT SO STRANGE?
HE'S SEPARATED, AND HE HAS A DATE.
NOW, LET'S LET HER IN. AND PLEASE,
TREAT HER WITH RESPECT.
SHE'S YOUR UNCLE'S DATE.
HELLO.
I'M KATHY BRADY. I'M HERE FOR BOB.
BOB?
ROB. WE CALL HIM ROB.
THIS IS THE KEATON HOUSE? Steven: OH, YES.
OH, YES. YES. I'M ELYSE KEATON.
HELLO. AND THIS IS STEVEN --
HI. NICE TO MEET YOU. AND JENNIFER AND MALLORY...
HELLO. AND ALEX.
HI. HI.
HE TOLD ME HE LIKES TO BE CALLED BOB.
OH.
WELL, HE NEVER TOLD US THAT.
WE CALL HIM ROB.
HEY, KATH!
HI.
HAS EVERYBODY MET EVERYBODY?
OH, BOY, YES. YES.
WELL, GREAT. GREAT.
KATHY AND I ARE GOING TO THIS REALLY HOT DISCO
SHE KNOWS ABOUT.
DO YOU WANT TO COME?
OH, NO. NO, NO.
WE'VE PLANNED A QUIET EVENING AT HOME.
MAKE SOME TAPIOCA.
YOU GOT IT, BABE.
OH, LISTEN, ROB-BOB...
WHAT...
WHAT TIME DO YOU THINK YOU'LL BE HOME?
DON'T WAIT UP, BRO.
WHOA.
BYE. BYE-BYE.
YEAH. YEAH, RIGHT.
DON'T DANCE TOO HARD! NICE TO SEE YA.
WEAR THOSE SAFETY BELTS! OKAY.
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
OKAY, ANDY, LISTEN UP, BUD. MOM NEEDS PEACHES.
SHE SAYS SHE BOUGHT THEM ESPECIALLY
FOR THIS RECIPE SHE'S MAKING.
SO, WHAT WE HAVE TO DO IS FIND OUT
WHICH ONE OF THESE CANS HAS THE PEACHES IN THEM
WITHOUT OPENING EVERY CAN IN THE HOUSE.
NO PROBLEM.
ALL RIGHT, OKAY.
HAS UNCLE ROB BEEN DOWN YET?
UH, YEAH. HE WENT JOGGING ABOUT AN HOUR AGO.
THAT'S REALLY SOMETHING.
HE ONLY CAME IN THREE HOURS AGO.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
BECAUSE I WAS UP ALL NIGHT LISTENING TO DAD PACE.
[ SIGHS ] DAD'S REALLY TAKING THIS HARD, ISN'T HE?
I KNOW. MOM SAYS HE'S BEEN UP EVERY NIGHT THIS WEEK
LOOKING THROUGH OLD PHOTO ALBUMS --
YOU KNOW, PICTURES OF ROB AND MAUREEN.
YEAH. YOU KNOW DAD. HE JUST--
HE JUST DOESN'T HANDLE SEPARATIONS WELL.
HE STILL HASN'T GOTTEN OVER THE SUPREMES BREAKING UP.
YEAH. I REMEMBER HE SAT UP ALL NIGHT
LOOKING AT PICTURES OF THEM, TOO.
I HATE THIS SITUATION WITH UNCLE ROB.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
I MEAN, CAN I TALK TO HIM ABOUT THE SITUATION?
CAN I TALK ABOUT AUNT MAUREEN?
CAN I STILL CALL HER AUNT MAUREEN?
YEAH. JUST -- IT'S TOO BAD THAT YOU KIDS HAVE TO BE WITNESS
TO THIS UNSETTLING ADULT BEHAVIOR.
I THINK YOU CAN JUST COMFORT YOURSELF BY LOOKING AT IT
IN A DETACHED, KIND OF ANALYTICAL FASHION.
WELL, I FEEL BETTER ALREADY.
OH, COME ON.
I MEAN, BASICALLY, WHAT WE HAVE HERE
IS A FAILED MERGER.
NOT UNLIKE THE BREAKUP OF THE PHONE COMPANY.
ALTHOUGH OBVIOUSLY LESS EMOTIONAL.
NOTHING MORE THAN A NATURAL FLUCTUATION
IN THE MARKETPLACE OF LOVE AND MARRIAGE.
YOU SHOULD WRITE ROMANCE NOVELS, ALEX.
OH, GOOD MORNING, GUYS.
HI. MORNING.
ANYBODY WANT SOME BREAKFAST?
OH, NO. WE'VE EATEN ALREADY. THANKS.
BUT IF YOU'RE HAVING SOME, MAY I SUGGEST
SOME OF OUR FINE CANNED GOODS?
UH, NO, THANKS.
WELL, ANYONE WANT TO STAY AROUND
AND JOIN ME WHILE I HAVE SOME BREAKFAST?
NO. IT'S BEEN A ROUGH DAY. I THINK, UH...
I THINK WE'RE GONNA TURN IN. YEAH.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. STOP. STOP. NO, IT'S NOT EVEN 8:15 A.M.
UH, IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN THAT ROUGH A DAY.
COME ON NOW, I INSIST. YOU GUYS SIT BACK DOWN HERE.
AND WE'RE GONNA TALK THIS THING OUT.
COME ON. EVERYONE SIT DOWN.
[ SIGHS ]
OKAY.
MY SEPARATION FROM AUNT MAUREEN
IS UPSETTING YOU ALL.
WHO'S AUNT MAUREEN?
Shh.
OKAY. IT'S NOT UPSETTING ANDREW THAT MUCH.
HOW ABOUT YOU, ALEX?
ALL RIGHT. LOOK, I'D BE LYING
IF I SAID I WASN'T DISAPPOINTED.
I UNDERSTAND.
I MEAN, I'M NOT A BABY.
I KNOW THAT THESE THINGS HAPPEN,
BUT THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN TO YOU, UNCLE ROB.
YOU'RE ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS.
YOU'RE A FATHER. YOU'RE A HUSBAND.
YOU'RE A CPA.
WELL, IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE, ALEX,
EVEN A CPA.
I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS I JUST HAVE
AN OVERLY ROMANTIC VIEW OF ACCOUNTING.
AND LOVE. AND LOVE.
UNCLE ROB, I GUESS IT'S JUST HARD FOR US
TO GET USED TO, YOU KNOW, YOU DATING ANOTHER WOMAN.
I GUESS WE'RE JUST STUNNED.
SURE. I UNDERSTAND THAT.
IT'S JUST WEIRD FOR US.
Elyse: MAYBE WE SHOULD GO RUNNING.
A LITTLE EXERCISE MIGHT HELP.
NOTHING CAN HELP. THIS IS A DISASTER.
REFERRING TO MY SITUATION?
NO. [ CHUCKLING ]
WHAT SITUATION?
YOU? YOU'RE GREAT. YOU'RE HAPPY.
YOU'RE DISCOING.
THERE'S NO SITUATION.
WHAT'S THAT?
OH, NOTHING.
IT'S JUST A PHOTO ALBUM OF SOMEBODY'S WEDDING.
YOU KNOW, STEVE, I-I JUST POLLED OUR LITTLE GROUP HERE
ABOUT THEIR REACTION TO MY BEING SEPARATED FROM MAUREEN.
WE HAVE, UH... STUNNED, DISAPPOINTED, WEIRD.
WELL, PLEASE ADD CONCERNED...
AND BERSERK.
YEAH, I'M HAVING REAL TROUBLE ACCEPTING IT.
I KNOW I SHOULD BE TRYING TO SUPPORT YOU.
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU, STEVE, I REALLY COULD USE YOUR SUPPORT.
WE WANT TO HELP YOU, ROB.
WE DO. YEAH.YEAH.
GOOD. GREAT.
WELL, YOU'RE BACKING A WINNER HERE.
I MEAN THAT.
I MEAN, I MET A NICE GIRL, AND THAT'S A BIG STEP.
KATHY AND I ARE -- WE'RE HAVING A GREAT TIME TOGETHER.
I'D LIKE YOU TO GET TO KNOW HER BETTER.
MAYBE YOU WOULDN'T FEEL SO AWKWARD THEN.
HOW ABOUT...
HOW ABOUT IF WE INVITED HER TO DINNER?
WELL, SURE. I'D LOVE IT.
HOW ABOUT TONIGHT?
OKAY, HERE WE GO.
HUH?
WHAT'S THIS?
A LITTLE SOMETHING I LIKE TO CALL
EVERYTHING BUT PEACHES.
IT'S A CULINARY MASTERPIECE.
I'M TELLING YOU, PUT SALAD DRESSING ON THESE THINGS --
THESE VEGGIES TOOK OFF! ASK THEM.
MMM.MMM.
LISTEN...
YOUR MOTHER AND I WANT TO REMIND YOU
THAT THIS LITTLE GET-TOGETHER IS NOT AN EASY THING
FOR YOUR UNCLE ROB-BOB.
OKAY. WELL, UH... LET'S JUST BE SENSITIVE,
ALL OF US.
HE'LL, UH, BE COMING HERE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN,
NOT HIS WIFE. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
STEVEN.
PLEASE. I'M OKAY.
I'M ALL RIGHT. BUT HOW CAN HE POSSIBLY--
TALKING ABOUT ME?
OH, NO! NO. THIS IS, UH...
JUST A LITTLE FAMILY HUDDLE --
SOMETHING WE ALWAYS DO BEFORE GUESTS ARRIVE.
NOW, LET'S GET IN THERE AND HAVE A GREAT DINNER. READY?
All: BREAK!
YOU GUYS...
I'M UPSTAIRS, I'M LOOKING IN THE MIRROR,
I CAN'T BELIEVE MY EYES. I AM YOUNG AGAIN!
I MEAN, LOOK AT ME.
I DIDN'T LOOK THIS YOUNG WHEN I WAS THIS YOUNG.
YOU'RE YOUNGISH LOOKING. YOUNG-FUL.
I'M 45 YEARS OLD.
NOW, TELL THE HONEST TRUTH. HOW OLD DO I LOOK?
13.
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
THAT MUST BE KATHY.
HI, KATH. HI.
COME ON IN.
YOU'VE -- YOU'VE MET EVERYBODY.
OH, SURE. HI. COME ON, SIT DOWN.
HELLO AGAIN. HELLO.
GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.
OH, IT'S NICE TO BE HERE. THANKS FOR ASKING ME.
I HEAR YOU TWO HAVE REALLY BEEN DOING THE TOWN.
YOU HEAR RIGHT. WE'VE BEEN DANCING ALMOST EVERY NIGHT THIS WEEK.
DO YOU GUYS DISCO?
NOT -- NOT AS MUCH AS WE SHOULD.
I'M JUST CRAZY FOR IT.
I MEAN, I LOVE TO BE OUT THERE, WHIRLING AROUND
WITH THOSE LIGHTS STROBING -- IT'S FANTASTIC.
IT'S HARD FOR ME TO PICTURE YOU OUT THERE DANCING AROUND.
WHY IS THAT?
BECAUSE YOU HATE DANCING. YOU ALWAYS HATED DANCING.
I REMEMBER YOU USED TO SAY, "BETTER DEAD THAN DANCING."
OH, THAT WASN'T ME. THAT WAS YOU.
YOU SAID THAT. YOU HATED TO DANCE.
I NEVER SAID THAT, AND I NEVER HATED TO DANCE. YOU DID.
WELL, LET ME VOUCH FOR BOB.
HE LOVES TO DANCE NOW.
WELL, LET'S GET THAT SORTED OUT. IS IT BOB OR ROB?
WHICH ONE IS IT?
HEY, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? ROB, BOB -- WHO CARES?
I CARE. I LIKE TO KNOW WHO I'M TALKING TO.
IS IT MY BROTHER ROB OR DISCO BOB?
STEVEN, CAN I SPEAK TO YOU IN THE KITCHEN FOR A MOMENT?
NO.
BOB, MAY I SPEAK TO YOU IN THE KITCHEN FOR A MOMENT? NO.
KATHY, COULD I SPEAK TO YOU IN THE KITCHEN FOR A MOMENT?
YES.
WE'D LIKE TO COME TO THE KITCHEN AND SPEAK ALONG WITH YOU.
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO HATED TO DANCE.
AND WHAT'S MORE, YOU COULDN'T DANCE.
I SAW YOU WITH MAUREEN AT YOUR WEDDING,
AND YOU COULDN'T DANCE AT ALL.
THAT'S BECAUSE MAUREEN CAN'T DANCE AT ALL.
SO WE DANCED BAD TOGETHER.
WHO ARE YOU KIDDING?
THIS ISN'T ABOUT DANCING, STEVE.
THIS IS ABOUT ACCEPTANCE.
YOU CAN'T ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I CAN'T.
I MISS THE GUY WHO DANCED BAD WITH MAUREEN.
HE'S GONE, STEVE.
I DON'T THINK SO.
I THINK HE'S HERE,
AND I THINK HIS PLACE IS WITH HIS FAMILY.
AND I THINK WITH SOME TIME AND SOME HELP,
HE CAN FIND WHAT HE'S LOOKING FOR WITH THEM.
THIS IS REALLY FUNNY.
YOU'RE LECTURING ME ABOUT RESPONSIBILITY.
MARRIAGE IS FOR BETTER OR WORSE, ROB.
YOU DON'T RUN OUT 'CAUSE YOUR WIFE
BURNED THE TOAST ONE MORNING
OR YOU FOUND SOMEONE ELSE WITH LONGER LEGS.
IT'S NOT ABOUT BURNT TOAST, STEVE.
IF IT WAS, I'D HAVE LEFT A LONG TIME AGO.
DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT MARRIAGE, OKAY?
I WAS MARRIED WHILE YOU WERE COLLECTING BASEBALL CARDS.
YOU HAD IT ALL, DAMN IT!
A WIFE, TWO KIDS, A GOOD JOB!
WHAT DID I HAVE, STEVE?
I NEVER WANTED TO BE A CPA. YOU KNOW THAT.
MOM SAID AND POP SAID, "GO ON, ROBBY BOY.
"BE A CPA. TAKE THE TEST. YOU'LL BE HAPPY.
"GO ON, ROBBY. GET MARRIED. YOU'LL BE HAPPY.
HAVE TWO KIDS. YOU'LL BE HAPPY."
I DID EVERYTHING THEY SAID. I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT.
I'M NOT HAPPY!
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY? I HATE HEARING THAT.
HEAR IT.
THEY LIED TO ME. THEY TOLD ME THAT THE DREAM WAS REAL.
THEY LIED, I LISTENED.
I'M NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER, STEVIE.
I WANT ANOTHER CHANCE.
I WANT TO HAVE A LIFE, TOO.
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
MAUREEN.
WHAT A COINCIDENCE.
WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU.
I'LL BET.