[ TICKING ] 3:00 IN THE MORNING. I CAN'T BELIEVETHIS IS HAPPENING AGAIN. WHY CAN'T I SLEEP? IT'S DARK. I'M TIRED.I'M IN BED. I'VE SLEPT SUCCESSFULLYIN THE PAST. MAYBE THESE PAJAMASARE DEFECTIVE. THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I'VE SLEPT A TOTALOF A MINUTE AND A HALF IN THE LAST SIX NIGHTS. I GOT MIDTERMS COMING UP.I GOT PAPERS TO WRITE. GOT A MILLION THINGS TO DO. IF I DON'T GET TO SLEEP SOON,I'M GONNA BE... AWAKE. ALL RIGHT, OKAY,DON'T PANIC. I CAN STILL GET FOUR HOURS, IF I FALL ASLEEPRIGHT NOW. GO. OKAY. SO FAR, SO GOOD. I'M FALLING ASLEEP. HERE I GO. I'M ON MY WAY. DRIFTING... DRIFTING... I'M GONE... NOW. I'M BACK. [ THEME SONG PLAYS ] * I BET WE'VE BEEN TOGETHERFOR A MILLION YEARS * * AND I'LL BET WE'LL BE TOGETHERFOR A MILLION MORE * * OH, IT'S LIKEI STARTED BREATHING * * ON THE NIGHT WE KISSED * AND I CAN'T REMEMBERWHAT I EVER DID BEFORE * * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * AND THEREAIN'T NO NOTHIN' * * WE CAN'T LOVEEACH OTHER THROUGH * * OOH-HOO * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * SHA-LA-LA-LA [ DRILL WHIRRING ] OKAY, IF YOU'LL JUST HAND METHAT SCREWDRIVER, JEN, WE'LL HAVE THE SMOKE ALARM UPIN NO TIME. OH, NO, NO, NOT THE PHILLIPS.I WANT THE FLATHEAD. TRUST ME, DAD,YOU WANT THE PHILLIPS. YOU'RE RIGHT. OKAY,IT'S ALL SET TO GO. WHY DON'T WE TEST IT OUT? WELL, HERE'S SOME MATCHES.AH. [ HUMMING ] NICE WORK, DAD. [ ALARM BLARING ] WHOA,BURGLAR ALARM. THOSE ARE TOUGH TO INSTALL. I'M IMPRESSED. IT'S NOT A BURGLAR ALARM.IT'S A SMOKE ALARM. OH, NICE WORK, DAD. MAYBE IT NEEDSA MINOR ADJUSTMENT. RIGHT BACK. OH, EXCUSE ME, MOM. YOU'RE HOME LATE,AREN'T YOU? YEAH, I WAS, UH,AT THE LIBRARY... STUDYING. YOU KNOW, I GOT A B-MINUSON MY ANTHROPOLOGY TEST? DON'T FEEL SO BAD, ALEX. I GOT A B-MINUSON A TEST LAST WEEK. OH, OKAY,I FEEL BETTER NOW. YOU LOOK AWFULLY TIRED, HONEY.WHY DON'T YOU GO ON UP TO BED? WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING,MOM? THAT I'M AFRAIDTO GO TO BED? THAT I'M AFRAID THAT I WON'TBE ABLE TO SLEEP? THAT I'LL STARE AT THE WALLSALL NIGHT... AWAKE... DESPERATE, AND ALONE? IS THAT WHATYOU'RE IMPLYING? NO. DOES ANYBODY ELSETHINK THAT? BECAUSE IF YOU DO, WHY DON'T YOUJUST COME OUT AND SAY IT AND STOP SNICKERINGBEHIND MY BACK? WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT? YOU KNOW,YOU ALL LOOK TIRED. WHY DON'T YOU ALL GO TO SLEEP? SEE HOW THAT FEELS?HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? WELL, ACTUALLY,GOING TO SLEEP ISN'T A BAD IDEA. I'M EXHAUSTED.GOOD NIGHT, MOM. YEAH, ME TOO.GOOD NIGHT, MOM. SHOWOFFS. OKAY, ALL FIXED. SHOULD BE WORKINGLIKE A CHARM NOW. [ LAUGHS ]OH, BOY, I'M BUSHED. I CAN'T WAIT TO GET TO BED.I'LL PROBABLY BE ASLEEP BEFORE MY HEADHITS THE PILLOW. SURE... RUB MY NOSE IN IT. ARE YOU READY, ELYSE? YEAH. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT A MINUTE.YOU GUYS ARE GOIN' TO BED? NOW? TOGETHER? I'M SORRYIF THAT SHOCKS YOU, ALEX. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT,ALEX? YEAH, I'M -- I'M, UH,I'M FINE. REALLY. UH, GO TO SLEEP. ARE YOU SURE?YEAH, I'M POSITIVE. GOOD NIGHT.I, UH, LOVE YOU. GOOD NIGHT, ALEX. WELL, HERE I AM AGAIN. ALONE FOR ANOTHERSLEEPLESS NIGHT. HEY, I DON'T CARE. I KIND OF ENJOY HAVINGTHESE HOURS TO MYSELF. YEAH, I KIND OF LOVEBEING ALONE. SKIPPY. SORRY TO BOTHER YOUSO LATE, ALEX. I JUST WANTTO BORROW A DICTIONARY. AW, HEY --UH, WELL, UH -- SKIP, GEE,THE DICTIONARY'S UPSTAIRS, BUT MAYBE I CANHELP YOU OUT. I KNOW A LOT OF WORDS. WELL,TODAY IN BIOLOGY CLASS, LAUREN HARRIS TOLD MEI REMINDED HER OF A MANDRILL. WHAT IS THAT? UH, WELL, SKIP, UH, A MANDRILL IS A LARGE, FIERCE, UH, FOUL-SMELLING BABOON... ...OF WEST AFRICA. HMM. DO YOU THINKI SHOULD ASK HER OUT? GO FOR IT, YOU BIG APE. ALEX, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.UH, LISTEN, SKIPPY, UM, WHY DON'T YOU -- WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWNFOR A MINUTE, OKAY? I WANT TO ASK YOUSOMETHING. UH... HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT? WELL, AFTER MY MOM STRAPS ME IN, I USUALLYJUST DRIFT RIGHT OFF. I WISH I HADA RITUAL LIKE THAT. YOU KNOW, I HAVEN'T SLEPTIN EIGHT NIGHTS? WELL, CONGRATULATIONS.HOW MANY ARE YOU GOING FOR? NO, SKIP, I WANT TO SLEEP.I JUST CAN'T. I DON'T KNOW, I COMPLETELYPSYCH MYSELF OUT. I-I JUST LIE IN BED,PETRIFIED, FEELING COMPLETELY ALONE. WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SLEEPWITH YOU TONIGHT, ALEX? WHAT WAS THAT, SKIP? MAYBE IT'LL HELPTO RELAX YOU TO HAVE SOMEBODY ELSETHERE IN THE ROOM. I'LL SLEEP ON THE FLOOR. I'M NOT SLEEPING. [ SIGHS ] I'M EXHAUSTED,I'M IN BED, AND I'M NOT SLEEPING. [ SKIPPY SNORES ] AND I HAVE SKIPPYIN MY ROOM. THIS IS WORSE THAN LAST NIGHT. ALL RIGHT. OKAY. JUST DON'T GET UPSET. STAY CALM. RELAX. TRY COUNTING...MONEY. $100 MILLION. $200 MILLION. $300 MILLION, TAX EXEMPT. I'M GETTIN' TOO EXCITED HERE. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, OKAY. MAYBE I SHOULD JUSTWALK AROUND A LITTLE. MAN: This is WADW. I'm Sonny Henderson, and you're listening to"The Night Owl Show." It's 3:24, and now here's Buddy Budsondoing "Alone and Blue." HEY, DON'T I KNOW IT, BUDDY. [ ALARM BLARING ] SHUT UP. [ ALARM STOPS ] WHAT'S GOING ON? NOTHING. WHAT'S THE MATTER?COULDN'T SLEEP? I HEARD THE SMOKE ALARM. WELL, THAT WAS --THAT WAS THE RADIO. THEY WERE PLAYING"SMOKE GETS IN YOUR... SMOKE ALARM." I DON'T KNOW, DAD. I MEAN,THAT THING JUST WENT OFF. I WAS GETTING SOME FOODOUT OF THE REFRIGERATOR, AND IT WENT OFF. IT MUST BETHE SMOKED SALMON. WHAT'S ALL THE NOISE DOWN HERE?I HEARD THE SMOKE ALARM. IF THERE'S NOT A FIRE,I'M GONNA BE REALLY MAD. LOOK, I-I SET IT OFFBY MISTAKE. I'M SORRY. HEY. [ SCREAMS ] SKIPPY, WHAT AREYOU DOING HERE? TRYING TO HELP ALEX SLEEP. SKIP. DID YOU KNOW HE HASN'T SLEPTIN OVER EIGHT NIGHTS? SKIPPY... ALEX, IS THIS TRUE?YOU'RE HAVING TROUBLE SLEEPING? NO, NO,IT'S JUST A RUMOR. ALEX,WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US YOU WEREHAVING THIS PROBLEM? BECAUSEIT IS NOT A PROBLEM. HOW COME YOU'RE HAVINGTROUBLE SLEEPING? WHAT IS THIS,A NOT-SLEEPING WITCH-HUNT? WHY DON'T YOU JUST TIE ME UPTO A STAKE AND BURN ME? WELL,AS LONG AS WE'RE UP. ALL RIGHT, OKAY, LOOK,I'M SORRY I WOKE YOU ALL, OKAY? AND IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'M TIREDAND I'M GOING BACK TO SLEEP. SO, MALLORY, YOU BEEN HAVINGANY TROUBLE SLEEPING? [ TICKING ] THIS IS RIDICULOUS. WE'RE ALLEXHAUSTED BECAUSE OF ALEX. YEAH, WE FINALLY GET THE BABYTO SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT AND NOW ALEX WON'T. COME ON,WE HAVE TO BE PATIENT. ALEX HAS A PROBLEM. I WAS PATIENT AT FIRST, BUT ALEX HAS KEPT US AWAKEFOR A WEEK. IT'S LIKE BEINGIN A FAMILY OF OWLS. HI.HEY, ALEX. HI. GOOD MORNING. [ ALARM BLARING ] WHOSE TURN IS IT? MINE. [ ALARM STOPS ] UH, ALEX,HOW DID YOU SLEEP LAST NIGHT? OH, FINE. OH, YEAH?THEN WHY DID YOU ASK ME TO GO SKIING WITH YOUAT 2:00 IN THE MORNING? I HAVE NO MEMORY OF THAT. ALEX,SIT DOWN FOR A SECOND. SURE, MOM. WHAT'S UP? YOU ARE. EVERY NIGHT. ALEX,YOU'RE NOT SLEEPING. IT'S GOT TOBE BOTHERING YOU. I KNOW IT'S BOTHERING US. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WELL, FOR EXAMPLE,WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT. OH, LOOK,I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT, OKAY? I-I TRIED TO DO ITAS QUIETLY AS I COULD. ALEX, YOU CRAWLEDINTO BED WITH US. DID THAT BOTHER YOU? LOOK, I'M SORRY, OKAY? I'VE GOT A LITTLE PROBLEM, BUT IT'S UNDER CONTROL. I CAN HANDLE IT. YOU KNOW, ALEX, I HAD A FRIENDWHO HAD TROUBLE SLEEPING AND SHE WENT TO A THERAPY GROUPFOR PEOPLE WITH SLEEP DISORDERS. MALLORY, I'M SURE YOUR FRIENDSHAVE A LOT OF DISORDERS, BUT I'D PREFERNOT TO BE LUMPED TOGETHER WITH THAT GROUP OF MISFITS. ALEX, YOU HAVE TO GETSOME KIND OF HELP. OR A HOTEL ROOM. HI, ALEX. WE JUST WANTEDTO WISH YOU GOOD LUCK ON GETTING TO SLEEPTONIGHT. THANKS.I'LL BE FINE. I HOPE SO, ALEX, 'CAUSE YOU'RE REALLYSTARTING TO FALL APART. MALLORY,LET'S BE KIND TO ALEX. I READ SOMEWHEREIF YOU DON'T GET ENOUGH SLEEP, YOUR BRAIN CELLSSTART TO DIE. JENNIFER. ONE BY ONE. WILL YOU KNOCK IT OFF? SORRY, ALEX. LOOK, GOOD LUCKFALLING ASLEEP TONIGHT, REALLY. AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING. JUST DON'T -- DON'T --DON'T WISH ME GOOD LUCK FALLING ASLEEP, OKAY? IT ONLY GETS ME WORRIEDABOUT IT. JUST DON'T EVENMENTION SLEEP. HEY, KIDS.GOOD LUCKFALLING ASLEEP, HONEY. MOM. HE DOESN'T WANT ANYONETO MENTION SLEEP. OH, I'M SORRY. WELL, I BROUGHT YOUSOME WARM MILK, FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON. THANKS, MOM. YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS THOUGHT THATWAS JUST AN OLD WIVES' TALE. WELL, YOUR MOTHERIS AN OLD WIFE. SERIOUSLY THOUGH, UH, MILK CONTAINS TRYPTOPHAN, A CHEMICAL THAT, UH,PROMOTES SLEEP. AND -- COME ON -- JUST TO ENSUREA GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP, WE PICKED UP THIS LITTLE ITEM. WHAT DO YOU THINK? IT'S NO USE, DAD.I KNOW IT'S YOU. THIS IS SYLVESTER.HE USED TO BE MY FAVORITE DOLL. WE'VE GROWN APART. HE'S BEEN LOOKINGFOR A COMPANION LATELY. OH, THANKS, JEN. ALEX,HERE'S MY GEOMETRY BOOK. JUST READ ITAND YOU'LL FALL FAST ASLEEP. THANKS, YOU GUYS. GOOD NIGHT.GOOD LUCK, ALEX. MAY SLEEP BE WITH YOU. I'M NOT SLEEPING YET. Together: OH, SORRY. [ SIGHS ] WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT? ALL RIGHT. OKAY.NO MORE FOOLING AROUND HERE. THIS TIME I'M GOING TO SLEEP. THIS TIME I MEAN BUSINESS. [ BREATHING DEEPLY ] YEAH. THAT'S IT. THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. BOY, NOTHING LIKE SLEEP. IT'S THE GREATEST. HOW WOULD I KNOW? I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE. THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. I'VE FORGOTTEN HOW TO SLEEP. WHAT'S NEXT? AM I GONNA FORGETHOW TO BREATHE? HOW TO EAT?HOW TO WALK? HOW TO CALCULATESIMPLE INTEREST? WHAT HAS BECOME OF ME?! [ DOORS OPEN ] HI. EVERYTHING'S --EVERYTHING'S FINE. THE SLEEPINGIS GOIN' A-OKAY. JUST TAKIN'A LITTLE BREAK. COME ON, MOM. CAN'T YOU SEEI'M TRYING TO SLEEP? ALEX, I HATE SEEING YOU LIKE THIS. REMEMBER HOW MUCHI USED TO LOVE GOIN' TO SLEEPWHEN I WAS A KID? SURE. I USED TO READ YOU"THE THREE LITTLE PIGS." BEFORE I GOT TO PAGE 5,YOU WERE OUT. YEAH, WELL,THOSE DAYS ARE GONE. EVERYTHING'SMORE COMPLICATED NOW. YOU KNOW,I GET INTO THIS BED AT NIGHT AND A MILLION DIFFERENTTHINGS RUSH THROUGH MY MIND. I MEAN, I WORRYABOUT ME AND ELLEN, AND I WORRY ABOUT,UH, MY CLASSES, AND MY TESTS,MY FUTURE. ABOUT MY PAST, ABOUT MY PRESENT, AND I WORRYABOUT MY FUTURE AGAIN. THEN I WORRYABOUT ELLEN AGAIN, AND THEN I WORRYABOUT ELLEN'S FUTURE. HEY, EVERYTHING JUSTGETS SO CRAZY. GUESS I'M CRAZY, HUH? NO. NO,YOU'RE NOT CRAZY, HONEY. YOU'RE JUST -- YOU'RE JUST NOTA LITTLE BOY ANYMORE, YOU KNOW? YOU'RE AN ADULT. THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGSGOING ON IN YOUR LIFE, AND -- AND THAT'S BOUNDTO CREATE SOME ANXIETY. YEAH,BUT WHAT IF THAT ANXIETY KEEPS ME UPFOR THE REST OF MY LIFE? I MEAN, WHAT IF I NEVERGET TO SLEEP? [ SIGHS ] STOP WORRYING ABOUT SLEEPING. NOW, WHEN YOUR BODY NEEDS IT,IT'LL GO TO SLEEP. IN THE MEANTIME,JUST ENJOY THE NIGHT, YOU KNOW? READ A GOOD BOOK,LOOK AT THE STARS, TALK TO YOUR PICTUREOF NIXON. HE DOESN'T LOOKLIKE HE SLEPT MUCH EITHER. I'LL TRY THAT. I GUESS WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY,HONEY, IS... JUST TRY AND RELAX,YOU KNOW? USE THE TIME. THAT'S WHAT I TRY TO DO. WAIT A MINUTE,YOU'VE HAD INSOMNIA? FROM TIME TO TIME. REALLY? I ALWAYS FIGURED YOU WERETHE "OUT LIKE A LIGHT" TYPE. NO. THAT'S YOUR DAD. IN FACT,I REMEMBER ONE NIGHT, HE FELL ASLEEPBEFORE HE EVEN GOT TO BED. I FOUND HIM. HE WAS ASLEEP IN THE SINK WITH A TOOTHBRUSH STICKING OUTOF HIS MOUTH. I GUESS WHATI'M TRYING TO SAY, HONEY, IS THAT AN OCCASIONALSLEEPLESS NIGHT GOES WITH THE TERRITORYOF BEING ALEX KEATON. DESPITE THE WORRIESAND THE ANXIETIES, I THINK YOU ENJOYBEING ALEX KEATON. THANKS, MOM. LOVE YOU. GOOD NIGHT, BABE. WAIT. UH, JUST WONDERINGIF YOU'D MIND, UH, TELLING METHE "THREE LITTLE PIGS" STORY. JUST --JUST FOR OLD TIMES' SAKE. [ SIGHS ] PICK IT UPMIDWAY THROUGH THE ACTION. OKAY. UH, WELL -- SEE, THESE PIGS BUILTTHREE DIFFERENT KINDS OF HOUSES. UM, ONE -- ONE HOUSEWAS MADE OUT OF -- STRAW.STRAW. AND THE OTHER HOUSEWAS MADE OUT OF -- WOOD. WOOD. AND THE THIRD HOUSEWAS MADE OUT OF -- ALUMINUM SIDING. THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH. AND THEN THE WOLF CAME ALONG AND HE WANTED TO BLOW DOWNTHE PIGS' HOUSES. SO HE SAID,"I'LL HUFF "AND I'LL PUFF AND I'LL BLOWYOUR HOUSE DOWN." WELL, THE PIGS GOT VERY SCARED. SO THE FIRST PIG SAIDTO THE OTHER TWO PIGS -- NO, NO, WAIT A MINUTE. I -- ACTUALLY IT WASTHE SECOND PIG SAID TO THE FIRSTAND THIRD PIG -- OH, WHICH PIG WAS IT?THEY LOOK SO MUCH ALIKE. DO YOU REMEMBER WHICH ONE? Alex? WELL, I WAS UP ANYWAY.