[ THEME SONG PLAYS ]
* I BET WE'VE BEEN TOGETHERFOR A MILLION YEARS *
* AND I'LL BET WE'LL BE TOGETHERFOR A MILLION MORE *
* OH, IT'S LIKEI STARTED BREATHING *
* ON THE NIGHT WE KISSED
* AND I CAN'T REMEMBERWHAT I EVER DID BEFORE *
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US?
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US?
* AND THEREAIN'T NO NOTHIN' *
* WE CAN'T LOVEEACH OTHER THROUGH *
* OOH-HOO
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US?
* SHA-LA-LA-LA
COME ON, SON.
HEY, SHOW DADDYHOW SMART YOU ARE.
OKAY, WATCH ME.
NOW YOU DO IT.
COME ON, ANDY.WHERE'S THE OLD CONFIDENCE?
HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
I THINK WE HAVE A MAJORPROBLEM, ELYSE.
READ THIS.
"RING TOSS.HOURS OF FUN."
OH, NO.WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
KEEP READING.
[ SIGHS ] "HOURS OF FUNFOR AGES 9 MONTHS AND UP."
SO?
9 MONTHS.
AND HOW OLD IS ANDY?
HE'S 11 MONTHS.WHAT'S YOUR POINT, STEVEN?
HE...
[ SIGHS ]
He doesn't knowhow to do this, Elyse.
S-SOMETHING FOR A CHILDMUCH YOUNGER,
AND HE DOESN'T KNOWHOW TO USE IT.
SEE?
WELL, IT ISN'T THAT EASY,STEVEN.
THE BOY ON THE BOXCAN DO IT!
[ SIGHS ]
I THINK HE NEEDS HELP,ELYSE.
I WANT HIMTO START PRESCHOOL NOW.
OH, HE'S TOO YOUNG NOW.
I WANT HIM TO START PRESCHOOL,ELYSE.
I WANT HIM TO LEARNHOW TO USE THE RING TOSS
AND --AND TO USE COMPUTERS.
HEY.Elyse: HEY.
WHAT'S IN THE BAG,ALEX?
AH, AN AMAZING LITTLE ITEMTHAT'S GONNA FINALLY
BRING THIS FAMILY UP-TO-DATEAND INTO THE '80s.
YOU BOUGHT A CALENDAR?
EVEN BETTER.
TELEPHONEANSWERING MACHINE.
LISTEN TO THIS.
Alex: YOU HAVE REACHED THE HOME OF ALEX P. KEATON.
[ FANFARE ]
IF YOU LEAVE YOUR NAME, NUMBER, AND MESSAGE,
THE IN-HOUSE STAFF WILL SEE TO IT
THAT MR. KEATON...
[ FANFARE ]
RETURNS YOUR CALL AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
THANK YOU, AND HAVE A NICE DAY.
[ BEEP ]
YOU MIGHT HAVE MENTIONEDTHE REST OF US BY NAME, ALEX.
OH, I DON'T KNOW --I LIKE BEING REFERRED TO
AS THE IN-HOUSE STAFF.
TOMORROW IS MY FIRST DAYAS A TEACHING ASSISTANT.
I WANT TOSOUND IMPORTANT.
PROBABLY GONNA GET A LOTOF CALLS FROM MY STUDENTS.
STILL CAN'T BELIEVE
THEY'RE LETTING YOUTEACH A COURSE, ALEX.
COME ON, JENNIFER,I TOLD YOU, EVERY YEAR,
PROFESSOR SPANOS PICKSTHREE OF HIS TOP STUDENTS
TO TEACH THE FRESHMANECONOMICS COURSE.
IT'S, UH,IT'S AN HONOR.
AND, UH,I'M EVEN INVITED
TO THE FACULTYWINE-AND-CHEESE PARTY,
ALTHOUGH THEY'VE ASKED METO BRING MY OWN CHEESE.
YOU'RE TEACHING A CLASS?
ALEX, IF I WERE GOING TO LELAND,I'D WANT MY MONEY BACK.
[ SCOFFS ]
MALLORY, IF YOU WEREGOING TO LELAND,
EVERYBODY WOULD WANTTHEIR MONEY BACK.
ALEX, WOULD YOU KEEP AN EYEON DINNER, HONEY?
JEN AND I ARE GONNAGIVE ANDY A BATH.
OH, LET ME, UH,LET ME COME WITH YOU, ELYSE.
I WANT TO DISCUSSTHIS PRESCHOOL THING WITH HIM.
ANDY IS NOTGOING TO PRESCHOOL.
ELYSE, IT'S HIS LIFE.
I GOT TOHEAR THIS AGAIN.
YOU HAVE REACHED THE HOME OF ALEX P. KEATON.
[ FANFARE ]
HI.
HEY, ELLEN. HI.
YOU WANT TO SEESOMETHING FUNNY?
WHAT? WHAT IS IT?
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
WHAT'S THIS?
IT'S MY CLASS SCHEDULEFOR NEXT SEMESTER.
ECONOMICS 101, SECTION 2.
ELLEN, THAT'S THE CLASSI'M TEACHING.
I KNOW. I SIGNED UPFOR THE OTHER CLASS,
BUT I GUESS THE REGISTRARMADE A MISTAKE.
I'M GONNA TRANSFERTO THE OTHER SECTION TOMORROW.
WHY?
ALEX, YOU DON'T REALLY THINKI COULD BE IN YOUR CLASS,
DO YOU?
ELLEN, WHY NOT?
BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'TBE ABLE
TO TREAT ME LIKEALL THE OTHER STUDENTS.
YOU'D FAVOR ME.
COME ON.THAT'S NOT TRUE.
ALL RIGHT, MAYBE IF YOU ANSWEREDA QUESTION CORRECTLY,
I'D GIVE YOUA LITTLE KISS.
THAT'S IT.
ALEX,THAT'S VERY SWEET OF YOU,
BUT I DON'T THINKIT'S GONNA BE A GOOD IDEA.
E-ELLEN -- COME ON.LOOK, WE ALWAYS SAY
WE SHOULD SUPPORTEACH OTHER, RIGHT?
I MEAN, THAT'S WHY I GOTO YOUR POETRY READINGS,
I GO TO DANCE RECITALS.
YOU DON'T THINKI LIKE THAT STUFF.
YOU SAID YOU DID.I KNOW.
ELLEN, SEE, THAT'S HOWWE SUPPORT EACH OTHER.
WE LIE.Tsk.
ELLEN, I -- I WANT YOUTO BE A PART OF MY WORLD.
I-I WANT YOUTO SEE ME TEACH.
I WANT YOU TO BEPROUD OF ME.
I WANT YOU TO CALL MEMR. KEATON.
OKAY.I'M GONNA GIVE IT A TRY.
SETTLE DOWN.SETTLE DOWN.
WELCOME...
TO ECONOMICS 101.
MY NAME IS MR. KEATON...
...OR SIR.
AND I WILL BE YOUR TEACHERFOR THE SEMESTER.
UH, LET'S START WITH SOME BASICTHEORIES IN ECONOMICS.
UH, FOR EXAMPLE, INFLATION.
DOES ANYONE KNOWWHAT CAUSES INFLATION?
ANYONE AT ALL?
ALL RIGHT, UH,YOUNG LADY IN THE SECOND ROW,
WEARING THE GLASSES.
WELL, I'M NOT SURE,BUT I THINK THAT --
UH, EXCUSE ME.UH, YOUR NAME, PLEASE?
ELLEN.
ELLEN REED.
AND HOW DO YOUSPELL THAT?
R-E-E-D.
OKAY, GO AHEAD,MISS REED.
IT IS REED, ISN'T IT?
YES.
AND I'M ASSUMINGIT'S "MISS."
IT'S NOT "MRS."OR "MS."
"MISS" WILL BEJUST FINE.
FINE, GO AHEAD,MISS...
REED.
MISS REED.
I FORGOT THE QUESTION.
THE QUESTION WAS,WHAT CAUSES INFLATION?
HIGH PRICES.
[ CHUCKLING ]
OH, MY, MY, MY,MY, MY, MY.
NO, HIGH PRICESARE THE RESULT,
NOT THE CAUSE OF INFLATION,MISS -- WHAT WAS IT?
REED.REED.REED.REED.
MAYBEYOU WON'T BE SO QUICK
TO RAISE YOUR HANDNEXT TIME.
WELL, SINCE THERE SEEMSTO BE AN ABUNDANCE OF IGNORANCE
IN THIS CLASS,YOU'RE ALL DISMISSED,
SO THAT YOU CAN GET TO WORKON YOUR PAPERS.
AW.AW.AW.AW.
THAT'S RIGHT,
I WANT A 5-PAGE ESSAYFROM EACH OF YOU,
ANALYZING THE FIRST CHAPTEROF YOUR TEXTBOOK,
"MONEY: KEEP IT COMING."
THAT'S ALL.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
WELL, HOW'D I DO?
FINE.
MAYBE A LITTLE ROUGH ON ME,BUT FINE OTHERWISE.
I WASN'T ROUGH ON YOU.
I JUST -- I JUST WANTTO PROVE TO MYSELF
THAT I CAN DO THISWITHOUT FAVORING YOU.
Tsk. WELL, YOU CERTAINLYPROVED THAT TO ME.
YEAH, UH, DON'T -- DON'T --DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
EVERYTHING IS GONNABE FINE, ELLEN.
IN A LITTLE WHILE,
YOU'RE GONNA GET USED TO BEINGTOTALLY SUBSERVIENT TO ME.
HEY, ANY CALLS FOR ME?
I DON'T KNOW.WE JUST GOT IN OURSELVES,
BUT SHERRY HAS CALLEDMALLORY 27 TIMES.
[ BEEP ]
Sherry: MALLORY, THIS IS SHERRY AGAIN.
WE'LL JUST SKIPOVER THAT.
[ MACHINE FAST-FORWARDING ]
ALEX, WHAT IFIT'S IMPORTANT?
[ HIGH-PITCHED, ACCELERATED GIGGLING ]
COME ON, MAL.
I MEAN, THE ONLYTHING THAT COULD BE
LESS IMPORTANT THAN A MESSAGEFROM ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS
IS A LIVE CONVERSATIONWITH ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS.
[ CLICK ]
ELLEN,CAN YOU STAY FOR DINNER?
OH, I CAN'T.
I'VE GOT TOO MUCHECONOMICS HOMEWORK.
SKIP IT.
I WOULD BUT MY TEACHER'SA LITTLE CRAZED.
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
[ BEEP ]
Mr. Herman: UH, THIS IS MR. HERMAN
FROM THE HARPER PRESCHOOL, RETURNING MR. KEATON'S CALL.
I'M RESPONDING TO YOUR REQUEST FOR INFORMATION ON OUR PROGRAM
TODDLERS...
WRONG NUMBER.[ CHUCKLES ]
HARPER PRESCHOOLEARLY-ADMISSION PLANS?
STEVEN, WHAT IS ALL THIS?
I THOUGHT WE DECIDED AGAINST PRESCHOOL.
WE DID.
I CAN'T HELP IT IF ANDYSENT FOR THESE BROCHURES.
WELL...
[ SIGHS ]I'M GONNA RUN.
I CAN MEET YOU LATERIF YOU WANT TO GETA CUP OF COFFEE.
UH, I'D LOVE TO.
I GOT TOGO OVER THESE PAPERS.
I'LL CALL YOU.
OKAY.TALK TO YOU LATER.
OH, YOU GOTTO LOOK AT THIS.
RICH ALBERT COPIEDHIS ENTIRE PAPER
FROM THE LATEST ISSUEOF HIGH FINANC MAGAZINE.
HOW CAN YOU TELL?
IT'S JUST LITTLE THINGS
ONLY AN EXPERIENCED TEACHERWOULD PICK UP ON --
THE FIGURES HE QUOTES,
WRITING STYLE,
SUBSCRIPTION OFFERAT THE END OF THE PAPER.
GUESS THAT'S WHEREHE SLIPPED UP.
I DON'T KNOW.IT'S A SHAME, ELLEN.
YOU TRY TO GET THROUGHTO THESE KIDS.
WHAT HAPPENS?
SO,DID YOU MARK MINE YET?
UH, YOURS.UH, I DON'T KNOW.
UH, LET ME THINK.
I MIGHT HAVE, COULD HAVEPOSSIBLY GOTTEN TO YOURS...
OR NOT.
LET'S GET THAT COFFEE,HUH?
WHAT DID I GET?AW, COME ON, ELLEN.
YOU GOT TO WAIT TILL TOMORROWLIKE THE REST OF THE CLASS.
COME ON, ALEX.WHAT DID I GET?
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, OKAY.LET ME SEE.
REED, REED, REED.
AH, HERE IT IS.
YOU GOT A C-MINUS.
A "C."
MINUS. [ CHUCKLES ]
OH, COME ON, ELLEN.IT'S THE FIRST PAPER.
I UNDERSTAND THAT.
I MEAN, A LOT OF PEOPLEDID NOT DO WELL.
OF COURSE.
THOUGH, THE AVERAGE MARKWAS A "C."
AH, SO I'M BELOW AVERAGE.
COME ON, ELLEN, LET'S GETTHAT COFFEE, OKAY?
MY TREAT.
ALL RIGHT, ALEX,YOU PROVED YOUR POINT.
WHAT POINT?
YOU WANT TO SHOW MEHOW FAIR YOU CAN BE
BY DELIBERATELY GIVING MEA LOWER GRADE THAN I DESERVE.
ELLEN, ARE YOU ACCUSING MEOF TRYING TO SHOW YOU
HOW FAIR I CAN BEBY DELIBERATELY GIVING YOU
A LOWER GRADETHAN YOU DESERVE?
DON'T TWIST MY WORDS,ALEX.
ELLEN,YOU GOT WHAT YOU DESERVE.
AS A MATTER OF FACT,
I THINK IT MIGHT HAVE BEENA LITTLE GENEROUS.
THIS IS A VERYSUPERFICIAL ANALYSIS.
I DID NOT DESERVE A C-MINUS,AND YOU KNOW IT.
I HAVE NEVER GOTTENANYTHING LESS THAN A "B"
ON AN PAPER.
MAYBE IF YOU SPENTA LITTLE MORE TIME STUDYING
AND A LITTLE LESS TIMEDANCING,
YOU'D GET A BETTER GRADE.
I CANNOT BELIEVEI WAS WORRIED
ABOUT YOU TREATING MELIKE THE OTHER STUDENTS.
YOU'VE HAD IT IN FOR MESINCE THE VERY BEGINNING.
COME ON.WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
IF I ANSWER A QUESTION WRONG,YOU REALLY LET ME HAVE IT.
WELL, WHY DO YOUANSWER A QUESTION WRONG?
IF I'M A MINUTE LATE TO CLASS,YOU YELL AT ME.
WHY ARE YOU LATE?
IF I LAG BEHINDON A FIELD TRIP TO THE BANK,
YOU GET ANGRY AT ME.
ELLEN, COME ON,LET'S FACE IT.
YOU HAVE BEEN A PROBLEMSINCE THE FIRST DAY OF CLASS.
OH, YEAH?
YOU WANT TO SEE A PROBLEM?
I'LL SHOW YOU A PROBLEM.
OH, WHAT'S THAT,A THREAT?
WELL, YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WAITTILL CLASS TOMORROW,
MR. KEATON.
EXCELLENT ANALYSIS, BECK.
ALBERT.
MR. KEATON.
YES, ALBERT?WHAT IS IT?
I CAN'T MAKE OUT YOUR COMMENTS.WHAT DOES THIS SAY?
"PLAGIARISM IS ILLEGAL."
THANKS.
SOMETIMES IT'S HARDTO READ YOUR HANDWRITING.
HELLO, MISS REED.
HEY, TEACH.HOW YOU DOING?
FINE.
I HANDED OUT THE PAPERS.
HERE'S YOURS.
HEY, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
I GOT A C-MINUS.
I'M EVEN DUMBERTHAN I THOUGHT.
TODAY WE WILL BEGINA DISCUSSION
ON THE FORMATIONOF THE MODERN BANKING SYSTEM,
WITH AN EMPHASIS...
ON THE RELATIONSHIP
BETWEEN SAVINGSOF COMMERCIAL INSTITUTIONS,
THE FORMATIONOF A NATIONAL BANK...
MISS REED...
ARE YOU CHEWING GUM?
NO.
NOT AT ALL.
THESE BUBBLESJUST FORM NATURALLY ON MY LIPS,
AND I CAN'TFIGURE IT OUT.
[ LAUGHING LOUDLY ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ LAUGHTER STOPS ]
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT.
GET RID OF IT.COME ON.
EXCUSE ME?
YOU HEARD ME.GET RID OF IT NOW.
OKAY.
[ ALBERT LAUGHS LOUDLY ]
OOPS.
I'M SORRY.
IT'S ON YOUR SHOE.
[ LAUGHS ]
UH, HOLD ON, MR. KEATON,WHILE YOU'RE HERE,
I GOT SOME JUNKTO GET RID OF.
ALBERT. ALBERT.
THAT'S ENOUGH, ALBERT.
NOW, AS I WAS SAYING,
NEW CAPITAL WAS REQUIREDTO FINANCE...
...THE PURCHASEOF LIVESTOCK...[ LAUGHS ]
...EQUIPMENT...
MISS REED,DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING
YOU'D LIKE TO SHAREWITH THE REST OF THE CLASS?
WHY NOT?
A RABBI AND A PRIESTARE IN A ROWBOAT.
THE RABBI IS ROWING,
THE PRIESTIS BAILING THE WATER.
CAN, I, UH, CAN I TALK TO YOUPRIVATELY, PLEASE?
LOOK, ELLEN,
I KNOW YOU'RE UPSETABOUT YOUR GRADE,
BUT THIS IS NOT THE BEST WAYTO EXPRESS IT.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GRACIOUSLYACCEPT THE FACT
THAT YOU WROTEA LOUSY PAPER?
I DID NOT WRITEA LOUSY PAPER.
YEAH, I KNOW WHATYOU'RE TRYING TO DO,
AND I CANNOTBE INTIMIDATED.
NOW, TAKE YOUR SEAT.
NOW, MANY OF YOUWILL REMEMBER
THAT SPECULATIONCAUSED THE PANIC OF 1837.
THIS WAS THE FIRSTIN A LONG LINE OF PANICS,
FOLLOWED BY THE PANIC OF 1845,THE PANIC OF 1853,
AND THE GENERALNERVOUS TENSION OF 1877.
EACH OF THESE INCIDENTS
CONFIRMEDTHE GROWING NEED FOR...
[ LAUGHTER ]
Ellen: SORRY.
ALL RIGHT,THAT OUGHT TO DO IT.
PLAY IT BACK.
Mallory: HI, I'M MALLORY...
Jennifer: AND I'M JENNIFER.
IF YOU'RE CALLING
FOR EITHER ONE OF US OR OUR PARENTS,
PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEP.
Mallory: IF YOU'RE CALLING FOR ALEX,
HE DOESN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE,
AND WE DON'T KNOW WHERE HE LIVES.
THANK YOU.
[ BEEP ]
WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
WELL, IT'S A STEPIN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.
HEY, DINNER'S ALMOST READY,ALEX.
OH, GREAT.ANY CALLS FOR ME?
NO, JUST THE USUAL DEATH THREATSFROM YOUR STUDENTS.
THAT'S IT, THOUGH, HUH?
ELLEN DIDN'T CALL?
OH, SORRY.
DARN. I WAS KIND OF HOPINGSHE'D CALL.
SOMETHING THE MATTERBETWEEN YOU AND ELLEN?
UH, YEAH.
LISTEN, MAL,UH, DO YOU MIND
IF I HAVE A PRIVATE CONVERSATIONWITH MOM AND DAD?
COME ON, ALEX.I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.
YOU AND ELLEN ARE FIGHTING'CAUSE SHE'S IN YOUR CLASS.
ELLEN PROBABLY FEELSYOU EXPECT HER
TO DO TWICE AS WELLAS EVERYONE ELSE,
AND, UH, YOU PROBABLY FEEL
SHE'S NOT WORKINGHARD ENOUGH
'CAUSESHE'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
[ SCOFFS ]
NICE TRY, MAL.
HOW DID YOU KNOW?
I JUST HAD TOSUBSTITUTE
YOU AND ELLENFOR NICK AND ME
AND IMAGINEWHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE
IF I WAS TAKING A CLASSAND NICK WAS TEACHING.
UH, W-WHERE WOULD THAT CLASSBE GIVEN, MAL?
COLLEGE ON THE MOON?
ALEX, IS WHATMALLORY SAID TRUE?
AW, MOM, I DON'T KNOW.
EVERYTHING WAS FINEAT FIRST,
AND THEN ELLEN GOT UPSET
WHEN I GAVE HERA C-MINUS ON HER PAPER.
AND -- AND NOW WE HARDLY TALKOUTSIDE OF CLASS,
AND INSIDE CLASS,SHE IS AN ACADEMIC MENACE.
WELL, YOU TWO HAVEA PROBLEM HERE, YOU KNOW,
'CAUSE YOU AND ELLENHAVE A RELATIONSHIP
THAT'S BASEDON TRUST AND LOVE,
AND NOW YOU'RE IN A POSITIONOF ABSOLUTE AUTHORITY OVER HER.
SO, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
THE PROBLEM IS,THESE ARGUMENTS CAN GROW
INTO BIG FIGHTSVERY QUICKLY.
WELL, IT'S LIKETHIS PRESCHOOL ISSUE.
YOUR DAD WANTS ANDYTO GO TO PRESCHOOL,
AND I DON'T.
AND THIS COULD HAVETURNED INTO A GREAT BIG FIGHT.
INSTEAD, WE SAT DOWNAND WE TALKED ABOUT IT
AND WE COMPROMISED,
AND ANDY IS NOT GOINGTO PRESCHOOL.
SO, WHAT'S THE COMPROMISE?
I GET TO KEEPMY PRESCHOOL BROCHURES.
YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY,THERE IS A SOLUTION TO THIS.
ELLEN AND I COULD TAKEHER PAPER TO PROFESSOR SPANOS,
LET HIM READ IT,AND GIVE HIS EVALUATION.
THAT SOUNDS REASONABLE.
OF COURSE, WHEN HE FINDS OUTI'M GOING OUT WITH ELLEN,
HE'S GONNA BE FURIOUS.
TEACHING ASSISTANTSARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE
ROMANTICALLY INVOLVEDWITH THE STUDENTS.
IT'S ONLYFOR FULL-TIME PROFESSORS.
OH, AND, UH, DON'T FORGET,TOMORROW WE'RE GONNA DISCUSS
WHAT TO DO WHENTHE AUTOMATIC TELLER MACHINES
RUN OUT OF MONEY.
[ SIGHS ][ BRIEFCASE LATCHES CLICK ]
PROFESSOR SPANOSSHOULD BE HERE ANY MINUTE.
HE'S READ YOUR PAPER.
I'M SURE HE'LLDECIDE THIS FAIRLY
AND IN MY FAVOR.
CLASS IS OVER. YOU DON'THAVE TO RAISE YOUR HAND.
WE CAN BE INFORMAL HERE...
MISS REED.
I JUST WANTED TO SAYTHAT I'M SORRY
FOR THE WAY I BEHAVEDIN CLASS THE OTHER DAY.
I WAS COMPLETELYOUT OF LINE.
IT WAS JUSTAN IMMATURE RESPONSE
TO YOUR INSANE, LUNATIC,TYRANNICAL BEHAVIOR.
I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY.
I HAVE ANOTHER QUESTION,MR. KEATON.
GO AHEAD, MISS REED.
I JUST WANT TO KNOWHOW YOU'RE DOING.
EXCUSE ME?
WELL, I MEAN,
IT'S JUST THAT WE HAVEN'T SPOKENTO EACH OTHER IN A WHILE,
AND I WAS JUST WONDERINGHOW YOU WERE DOING.
OH. [ CLEARS THROAT ]I SEE.
WELL, I'M DOING NICELY,THANK YOU.
YOURSELF?
FINE. THANKS.
UH, MISS REED?
YES, MR. KEATON?
I MISS YOU.
YOU DO?
I WANT THINGS TO BE THE WAYTHEY WERE BETWEEN US.
MR. KEATON,I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE.
I REREAD MY PAPERTHE OTHER DAY
AND I REALIZEDIT WASN'T ALL THAT GOOD.
I DIDN'T TRY AS HARDAS I COULD HAVE.
MISS REED [SCOFFS]DON'T BLAME YOURSELF.
I WAS TOO HARD ON YOU.
YOU KNOW, I-I-I THOUGHTI COULD HANDLE
HAVING YOUAS ONE OF MY STUDENTS.
I THOUGHT I'D TREAT YOULIKE THE REST OF THE CLASS.
I -- I COULDN'T.I MEAN, I JUST -- I WENT CRAZY.
I'M SORRY.
MR. KEATON.
OH, MISS REED.
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
WORKED IT OUT YOURSELVES,DID YOU?
UH, PROFESSOR SPANOS.
UH, WELCOME.
I WAS JUST EXPLAININGTHE, UH, CONCEPT OF, UH...
DEFICIT SPENDING....DEFICIT SPENDING
TO, UH, MISS REED HERE.
OH, I SEE.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND ITNOW, MISS REED,
OR DO YOU NEED ANOTHER HUG?
WELL, WE SEEM TO HAVEA CONFLICT OF INTEREST HERE,
MR. KEATON.
YOU KNOW, A SIGNIFICANTPART OF TEACHING
IS EXERCISINGGOOD JUDGMENT,
AND IT DOESN'T APPEARAS THOUGH YOU HAVE BEEN.
PROFESSOR SPANOS, PLEASEDON'T HOLD THIS AGAINST ALEX.
HE'S A WONDERFUL TEACHER.
YOU KNOW,BEFORE I TOOK THIS CLASS,
I THOUGHT ECONOMICSWAS REALLY BORING.
ALL THE STATISTICS ABOUTINFLATION AND INTEREST RATES
AND THE DEVALUATIONOF THE DOLLAR
AND TRADE IMBALANCES.
YOU KNOW,IT REALLY IS BORING.
THANKS FOR HELPING MEOUT HERE, ELLEN.
BUT ALEX CHANGEDALL THAT.
HE MAKES ECONOMICSINTERESTING.
HE'S STRICT,
BUT EVERYBODY IN THIS CLASSHAS LEARNED SOMETHING.
WELL...
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY OTHERSTUDENTS IN THE CLASS
I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT,DO YOU, MR. KEATON?
COUSINS? CHILDREN?ARMY BUDDIES?
NO, SIR.
GOOD.
WELL, NOW,AS TO THIS PAPER,
I THINK YOU WERE A LITTLE HARSHON MISS REED, MR. KEATON.
I AGREE.I WAS MUCH TOO HARSH.
ALTHOUGH IT WAS A VERY SLOPPYEFFORT, MISS REED.
I AGREE.
HE WAS MUCH TOO HARSH.
WELL, UM, GOOD LUCKTO BOTH OF YOU.
YOU KNOW, I MUST ADMIT,
THIS SCENE ISSOMEWHAT FAMILIAR TO ME.
I MET MY WIFE WHEN SHE TOOKA MICROECONOMICS COURSE
I WAS TEACHING AT YALE.
I GAVE HER AN "A"ON HER FINAL EXAM,
AND SHE AGREED TO MARRY ME.
[ CHUCKLES ]
THAT'S SWEET.
YES.
OF COURSE, IF I KNEW THENWHAT I KNOW NOW,
I WOULD HAVE FLUNKED HER.
[ SIGHS ]
I'M SORRYABOUT ALL THIS, ALEX.
ME TOO.
I LOVE YOU.
Tsk.
[ SIGHS ]
MY PAPER WASN'T REALLYA C-MINUS, WAS IT?
WELL...
CONSIDERING EVERYTHING THAT'SBEEN SAID AND DONE HERE TODAY,
EVERYTHINGWE'VE BEEN THROUGH,
I THINK I COULD BUMP IT UPTO A "C."