[ THEME SONG PLAYS ] * I BET WE'VE BEEN TOGETHERFOR A MILLION YEARS * * AND I'LL BET WE'LL BE TOGETHERFOR A MILLION MORE * * OH, IT'S LIKEI STARTED BREATHING * * ON THE NIGHT WE KISSED * AND I CAN'T REMEMBERWHAT I EVER DID BEFORE * * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * AND THEREAIN'T NO NOTHIN' * * WE CAN'T LOVEEACH OTHER THROUGH * * OOH-HOO * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * SHA-LA-LA-LA Alex:BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WE GO TOA NICE RESTAURANT, WE HAVEA VERY NICE DINNER, AND THE NEXT THING I KNOW,YOU GUYS ARE CALLING ME SEXIST. ALEX,YOUR BEHAVIOR TONIGHT WAS RIGHT OUT OFTHE MIDDLE AGES. I WAS EMBARRASSED TO BE IN THE SAME RESTAURANTAS YOU. I WAS JUST TRYINGTO BE COURTEOUS. YOU ORDEREDALL OUR MEALS WITHOUT EVEN ASKING USWHAT WE WANTED. WELL, I DIDN'T HEARANY OBJECTIONS. WE WERE CHECKING INOUR COATS. ALL RIGHT!GOOD TO BE HOME! OH, YEAH, YOU'RENO BETTER THAN HE IS. MAYBE NOT, BUT IT'S STILLGOOD TO BE HOME. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LET HIMORDER FOR US LIKE THAT. WELL, IT WASN'T MY FAULTI WALKED AWAY FOR A MINUTE. ANDY AND I WERE OVERLOOKING AT THE LOBSTER TANK. IT WAS REALLY MY FAULT,MOMMY. YEAH, SURE. YOU GUYSALWAYS STICK TOGETHER. WAIT A MINUTE. I JUST DON'T SEEWHAT ALL THE FUSS IS ABOUT. I MEAN, IT ISA TIME-HONORED TRADITION FOR THE MAN TO ORDERFOR THE WOMAN. I WAS JUST TRYINGTO BE A GENTLEMAN. I NOTICED YOU LET USPICK UP THE CHECK. THAT'S DIFFERENT.THAT'S BUSINESS. BY THE WAY, ANDY,WHAT YOU SAW TONIGHT IS NOT APPROPRIATEMALE BEHAVIOR. EXCUSE ME, MOM,BUT I THINK DAD AND I ARE VERY CAPABLEOF DEMONSTRATING APPROPRIATEMALE BEHAVIOR TO OUR YOUNGMALE FRIEND HERE. ALEX, PLEASE. I'D PREFER NOT TO BEPAIRED WITH YOU AT THIS TIME. I'M...SUREYOU UNDERSTAND. I SHUDDER TO THINK OFTHE CHAUVINISTIC HABITS YOU TWO ARE TEACHING ANDREW. WELL, DON'T WORRY,MOM, OKAY? DAD AND I ARE TEACHING ANDYEVERYTHING HE NEEDS TO KNOW. WE HAVE A VERY BIGWEEKEND PLANNED. TELL 'EM, ANDY. BOXING, HOCKEY,SUMO WRESTLING. THAT'S GREAT.THAT'S JUST WHAT ANDY NEEDS -- AN ENTIRE WEEKENDFULL OF GROWN MEN BEATING EACH OTHERIN THE FACE UNTIL THEY DROP, MANIACS DOING A LITTLESKATING BETWEEN FIGHTING, AND SWEATY FAT MEN... THROWING EACH OTHER DOWNOVER AND OVER AGAIN. YEAH.PRETTY MUCH. UH-HUH. DON'T TRY TO MAKESENSE OUT OF THIS, MAL. IT'S MALE BONDING! IT'S MAN'S EXCUSE FOR SLOBBERINGALL OVER EACH OTHER AND YELLING, "YES, YES!" SEE? JENNIFER KNOWSWHAT IT'S ABOUT. OH, WELL, EXCUSE US. IT SOUNDS LIKETHE PERFE WEEKEND. WHY DON'T YOU JUSTADMIT THE FACT THAT MALE BONDINGIS A CONCEPT THAT YOU CAN'TCOMPLETELY UNDERSTAND? OH, IS THAT SO? WELL, IF I REMEMBER, WHEN THE GIRLS AND IWENT TO THE MOUNTAINS, YOU MEN HAD YOURPERFECT WEEKEND HERE, THE HOUSEALL BY YOURSELF, BONDING ALL OVERTHE PLACE. HEY, ALEX. WHOA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DAD? YOU KNOW,YOU COULD BREAK SOMETHING. COME ON, ALEX,WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT? WE GOT THE HOUSE TO OURSELVES,JUST THE GUYS. LET ME SEE THAT ARM. GOOD TOSS, SON. SORRY, DAD. NO, NO, NO,IT WAS MY FAULT! I SHOULD'VE DOVEFOR IT. SAY, I-I GOT IT. HOW ABOUTA GAME OF CHESS, HUH? YEAH, OKAY.ALL RIGHT, DAD. IF YOU REALLY WANT TO. [ Chuckling ] OKAY.ALL RIGHT. THIS IS GREAT. ALL RIGHT, SO, UH, WE'LL PLAYA FEW GAMES OF CHESS, THEN WE'LL GO OUT FOR A REALMAN'S NIGHT ON THE TOWN, HUH? [ TELEPHONE RINGING ] WE CAN GET A COUPLEBIG STEAKS, VERY RARE, THEN BACK HEREFOR BRANDY AND CIGARS. HELLO. OH, HI! UH, SUZY. I'M FINE.I'M FINE. OH, WHAT --YOU MEAN RIGHT NOW? WELL, YEAH, SUZY,YOU KIDDING ME? I MEAN, I'D LOVE TO... BUT I CAN'T. NO, NO. I [SIGHS] AH, IT'S JUSTNOT POSSIBLE. NO, I'LL --BUT THANKS FOR CALLING. OKAY. BYE-BYE. WE ARE ALL SET,AND DON'T THINK YOU'RE GONNA MOP UP THE BOARDWITH YOUR OLD DAD TONIGHT. GOT SOME NEW STRATEGYLINED UP. [ CHUCKLES ] GO AHEAD.YOU MOVE FIRST, LAD. THAT, UH... THAT WAS SUZY FARKUS. SUZY FARKUS? YEAH. YOU REMEMBER HER.I HAD THIS BIG CRUSH ON HER ALL THE WAYTHROUGH HIGH SCHOOL. SHE WOULDN'T EVENTALK TO ME THEN. SO, ANYWAYS, SHE JUST,UH, CAME INTO TOWN TO SURPRISE HER FOLKS, BUT, UH...THEY WEREN'T HOME. SO SHE CALLED MEAND INVITED ME OVER... ...TO HER, UM...EMPTY HOUSE... ...NOW. OH. OH, WELL, I... L-LISTEN, ALEX, IF YOU'D LIKETO GO OVER THERE, BELIEVE ME,I UNDERSTAND. NO. NO. NO, DON'T BE SILLY, DAD. NO, NO, MY FEELINGSFOR SUZY FARKUS WERE NOTHING MORETHAN A PASSING SCHOOLBOY CRUSH. I'M OVER THAT. NO, I'D MUCH RATHERJUST... HANG AROUND HEREWITH YOU... ...AND PLAY CHESS. OKAY. I MEAN,WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A GAME HERE,YOU KNOW? IT WOULDN'T BE RIGHTFOR ME TO JUST PICK UP AND LEAVEIN THE MIDDLE OF A GAME. IF THE GAME WERE OVER,YOU KNOW, THEN THAT WOULD BEA DIFFERENT MATTER ENTIRELY. BAD MOVE, ALEX. BAD MOVE. CHECKMATE. WHOA! OHH! WHOA, DAD, HOLY COW! I DIDN'T EVEN -- WHOA!NICE MOVE! BOY, YOU PULLED THATOUT OF A HAT! HOLY COW. BOY, WHEN I TOOK YOUR ROOK,YOUR KNIGHT, YOUR BISHOP, AND YOUR QUEEN,I THOUGHT I HAD YOU BEAT. BUT, BOY, I DIDN'TEVEN SEE THAT. OOH, NICE MOVE, DAD.WHOO! GO AHEAD, ALEX. GO TO SUZY FARKUS'. DON'T MIND IF I DO, DAD.SEE YOU LATER. OH, DAD... THANKS. I MEAN,THAT WAS GREAT BONDING. WE WEREN'T REALLYTRYING THEN. COME ON, ALEX, GET THE FOOTBALL.WE'LL BOND NOW. THIS IS EMBARRASSING. NO, NO, NO. DAD IS RIGHT. WE WERE HOLDING BACKTHAT WEEKEND. YOU SEE,WE MEN BOND SO WELL... THAT IF WE DON'T RESISTA LITTLE BIT, WE BECOMEPERMANENTLY BONDED. THAT'S RIGHT. WE WERE JUSTBEING CAREFUL. THE TROUBLE WITH YOU MENIS THAT YOU TEND TO BOND OVER SUCH SUPERFICIAL THINGS. WE WOMEN TEND TO BOND OVER A SHAREDEMOTIONAL EXPERIENCE. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, MAYBE WE DIDN'T HAVETHAT GREAT A TIME, BUT WE WEREN'TTHE ONLY ONES WHO HAD TROUBLETHAT WEEKEND. WELL, THIS IS IT. THIS IS IT? THIS IS IT! THIS IS IT? LOOK, I KNOW IT'S A LITTLEROUGH AROUND THE EDGES, BUT THE IMPORTANT THING ISWE'LL BE TOGETHER. WE'RE GONNA HAVEA GREAT TIME. WELL, WHERE'S OUR ROOM? THIS IS IT. WHERE'S YOUR ROOM? THIS IS IT. WHERE'S THE BATHROOM? IF YOU SAY "THIS IS IT,"I'M LEAVING. THE BATHROOMIS TWO CABINS DOWN. LOOK, WE'RE ONLY GONNA BE HEREFOR THE WEEKEND. WE CAN MAKETHE BEST OF IT. WELL, WE MIGHT AS WELLUNPACK. NO, NO, LET'S LEAVETHE UNPACKING TILL LATER. I'M TOO EXCITED. OH, LET'S SIT DOWNAND HAVE A RAP SESSION! WHAT DO YOUWANT TO WRAP? UH... UH, NOT WRAP WITH A "W." THIS IS RAP WITH AN "R." IT'S A TERM WE USEDIN THE '60s. IT MEANS "TALK." BUT "TALK SESSION" DIDN'T SOUNDRIGHT, SO WE USED TO SAY... NEVER MIND.LET'S JUST SIT DOWN AND TALK. WHAT DO YOU WANTTO TALK ABOUT? UH, WELL, UM --OH, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE CHANGE THAT'S GONNAHAPPEN IN OUR LIVES WHEN THE BABYCOMES HOME. I WANT TO KNOW HOW --HOW YOU FEEL -- WHAT YOUR THOUGHTS ARE,YOUR FEARS, YOUR EXPECTATIONS. TELL ME EVERYTHING. I DON'T WANT TOCHANGE ANY DIAPERS. GOOD. THIS IS GOOD. THIS IS EXACTLYTHE KIND OF THING WE WANT TO GET OUTIN THE OPEN. WHAT ELSE IS ONYOUR MIND, MAL? NOTHING. JENNIFER,WHAT ABOUT YOU? I MEAN, YOU'VE ALWAYS BEENTHE YOUNGEST, THE BABY. UH, IT'S ALLGONNA CHANGE. DO YOU HAVE ANYSPECIAL FEELINGS THAT YOU WANTTO DISCUSS? I'M STILL FEELINGA LITTLE CARSICK. I'M AFRAIDI MIGHT THROW UP. THANKS FOR SHARING THATWITH US, JEN. SHE ASKED FOR MY FEELINGS. THAT'S NOT WHAT SHE MEANT! BUT IT IS MY FEELINGS! GIRLS! HEY, WAIT. MAYBE THIS ISN'T THE RIGHT TIMEFOR A RAP SESSION. MAYBE -- MAYBE WE CAN KIND OFEASE INTO THAT ONE LATER. UH... OH! OH!I'VE GOT AN IDEA! I WAS GONNA SAVETHIS FOR TOMORROW, BUT IF WE'RE INTHE MOOD NOW, SO WHY NOT? I DON'T BELIEVE IT. YOU BROUGHTA PHOTO ALBUM WITH YOU? THIS IS NOTJUST ANY PHOTO ALBUM. THIS IS AN ALBUMTHAT I MADE UP OF OUR HISTORY TOGETHERAS MOTHER AND DAUGHTERS. "KEATON GIRLS --OH, HOW WE'VE GROWN." THESE ARE OLD PICTURES, MOM. I KNOW THEY'RE OLD PICTURES. THAT'S THE POINT. WELL, THERE'S NONE IN HEREOF ALEX OR DAD. I KNOW. THAT'S THE POINT.IT'S JUST US. BUT WE'VE SEEN THESEPICTURES BEFORE, HAVEN'T WE? NO, NOT LIKE THIS.NOT ALL TOGETHER. SEE, NOT IN THIS FORMAT. THEY'RE STILLTHE SAME OLD PICTURES. THEY ARE NOTTHE SAME OLD PICTURES! WHEN YOU PUT THEM ALLTOGETHER IN ONE BOOK, THEY TAKE ON A TOTALLYDIFFERENT MEANING! NOW, THEY SHOW THE JOY AND THE CLOSENESS THAT WE'VESHARED DOWN THROUGH THE YEARS! NOW SIT DOWNAND SHARE THE JOY! AND THAT'S WHATYOUR MOTHER MEANS BY EMOTIONAL BONDING,ANDY. I HOPE YOU WERETAKING NOTES. NOW, THAT'S NOT FAIR. WE WERE OUTOF OUR ELEMENT. YEAH, YOU SHOULDSEE US AT THE MALL. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,LET'S NOT GET CARRIED AWAY BY SWEEPING GENERALITIES --ANDY WILL GET CONFUSED. THERE ARE WOMENWHO ARE GOOD. THERE ARE WOMENWHO ARE NOT SO GOOD. THERE ARE MEN WHO ARE GOOD. THERE ARE MENWHO ARE NOT SO GOOD. AND THEN THERE'S ALEX. UH, HE'S IN A CLASSBY HIMSELF. YOU'RE RIGHT. WELL, THERE IS ONE MANWE KNOW WHO HAS NEVER GIVEN IN TO ANY OF THESECHAUVINISTIC ATTITUDES. IN FACT, HE'S THE ONLY MAN WHOIS TRULY A CREDIT TO HIS SEX. NICK'S GREAT THAT WAY. NICK? NICK? NICK?NICK? YEAH. NICK'S SPECIAL. WELL, YES, YES. WE COULD TELL THATTHE FIRST TIME WE MET HIM. Nick: HEY, MALLORY! HE'S REALLY ANXIOUSTO MEET ALL OF YOU. NICK!COME ON IN, NICK! Nick:DO I HAVE TO?! HE SEEM ANXIOUSTO MEET US. I DON'T KNOWABOUT YOU, BUT I AM KEEPINGAN OPEN MIND ABOUT THIS. IT JUST CLOSED. NICK MOORE, I'D LIKE YOUTO MEET MY PARENTS, ELYSEAND STEVEN KEATON. NICE TO MEET YOU, NICK. IT'S A PLEASUREHAVING YOU HERE. HEY. IT IS NICETO MEET YOU FINALLY. I'VE HEARD AN AWFUL LOTABOUT YOU. HEY. MY BROTHER AND SISTER,ALEX AND JENNIFER. HEY.HEY. HOW YOUSE DOIN'? WE'S DOIN' FINE, NICK. LEAST I's DOIN' FINE. THAT'S, UH.... THAT'S A NICE EARRING,NICK. YEAH, I FOUND ITIN THE GARBAGE. PICKED IT UPON MY ROUNDS. A-ARE YOU A GARBAGE MAN? ME? NAH. I MEAN, BUT I HOPETO BE ONE ONE DAY, YOU KNOW? IT'S THE ONLY WAYTO GET THE GOOD GARBAGE. THE GO GARBAGE? UH... HOW DO YOU DISTINGUISH THATFROM THE BAD GARBAGE? YOU GOT TO HAVEAN EYE FOR IT. I'M NOT SUREI UNDERSTAND. MOM! NICK'S AN ARTIST. I AM LIKE WHAT THEY CALLAN ENVIRONMENTAL ARTIST. I MAKE THINGS OUT OFTRASH, GARBAGE, JUNK. YOU'D BE AMAZED AT THE THINGSYOU CAN MAKE FROM GARBAGE. YOU SEE THIS HAT?MM-HMM. I MADE THIS HATFROM GARBAGE. WELL, WE BETTERGET GOING. [ CHUCKLES ] HEY-EY. HEY. HEY.HEY.HEY.HEY. Steven: YES, WE COULD TELL THATTHE DAY WE MET HIM. AND THE MOREWE GOT TO KNOW HIM, THE MORE SPECIAL HE SEEMED. [ COUGHS ] DID YOU SAY SOMETHING,DEAR? NO. NO, I DIDN'T. ARE YOU SURE?IT SOUNDED LIKE YOU -- I JUST COUGHED. OH, I SEE. I SEE. WELL, IF YOU SAY SOMETHING,I'M READY TO RESPOND. GREAT, DAD.I'LL LOOK FORWARD TO THAT. THIS IS REALLY NICE. YOU GUYS EAT LIKE THISALL THE TIME? YOU MEAN WITH UTENSILS? DON'T MIND ALEX.HE'S A LITTLE STRANGE. HEY, HE'S ALL RIGHT. HE'S A CUTELITTLE GUY. HE'S JU-- HE'S JUST A LITTLE STIFF,IS ALL. YOU KNOW WHAT YOUCOULD USE, ALEX? NO. NO.WHAT COULD I USE, NICK? AN EARRING. NAH. NO, I DON'T THINK SO. NO, REALLY. IT'LL GET YOU LOOSE.HERE. NO, NO, NICK.I ENJOY BEING TIGHT. WELL, WHAT KIND OF THINGSARE YOU INTERESTED IN, NICK? I'M INTERESTEDIN MALLORY. YES, INDEED. UH, HOW ABOUT SCHOOL? HOW ABOUT SCHOOL? DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL?NO. CAN YOU EXPAND ON THAT? YEAH, LIKE, UH... WHEN SCHOOL'S ON,I'M NOT THERE. AHH. REALLY, DAD, I MEAN,THERE ARE OTHER THINGS TO TALK ABOUTBESIDES SCHOOL. NO ONE'S EVEN ASKED HIMABOUT HIS ART. HEY, IT'S OKAY. NO, YOU LOVE TO TALK ABOUTYOUR ART. DAD, ASK HIM. UM, SO, UH, NICK,HOW DID YOU GET INTERESTED IN THIS ENVIRONMENTAL ART? I DON'T KNOW. CAN YOU EXPAND ON THAT? I...DON'T...KNOW. VERY GOOD. GETTING BACKTO THE SCHOOL ISSUE -- NO. COME ON, DAD.NICK WAS TALKING ABOUT ART. YOU INTERRUPTED HIM. SORRY, NICK. DIDN'T MEAN TO CUT YOU OFFLIKE THAT. UH, WHAT WERE YOU GOINGTO SAY AFTER I...DON'T...KNOW? I...DON'T...REMEMBER. WOULD ANYBODY LIKESOME MORE PEAS? RIGHT HERE. YEP. YOU KNOW, ENVIRONMENTALART ISN'T THE ONLY THING NICK KNOWS ABOUT. HE HAS A WIDE RANGEOF INTERESTS. HERE'S A THOUGHTTHAT JUST OCCURRED TO ME, NICK. DON'T YOU THINK A PERSONNEEDS AN EDUCATION? NOT EVERY PERSON.NOT EVERY PERSON? COME ON, DAD --EXCUSE ME, MALLORY. HOW CAN A PERSON MAKE A LIVINGWITHOUT AN EDUCATION? I DON'T KNOW. WHY DON'T YOU ASKSOMEBODY WHO'S EDUCATED? I DON'T THINK A PERSONNEEDS AN EDUCATION TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION. CAN YOU TELLTHESE PEAS ARE FRESH? I GUESS WHAT I REALLYWANT TO KNOW, NICK -- HEY, LOOK, I WAS INVITED HEREFOR A MEAL, YOU KNOW? BUT THIS DOESN'TFEEL LIKE A MEAL. IT FEELS LIKE A TEST. I'M SORRY I'M NOT THE KINDOF GUY YOU'RE LOOKING FOR. I'M NOT SMART,I'M NOT CULTURED, AND I'M NOT SOPHISTICATED,YOU KNOW? I'M NOT NO CHARLES BRONSON. ANDY, THAT'S HOW UNCLE NICKBECAME PART OF OUR FAMILY. ANDY, NICKIS NOT YOUR UNCLE. DON'T LISTENTO HIM, ANDY. YOU NEED A MAN WHO'S ABOVEALL THIS MALE CHAUVINISM. NICK IS A PERFECTMALE ROLE MODEL FOR YOU. WHOA, WAIT A MINUTE.OKAY, WHAT ABOUT DAD HERE? I MEAN, DAD HAS BEEN BEHINDEVERY FEMINIST ISSUE SINCE THE VERY BEGINNING. HEY. OR ME. I MEAN,I DON'T WANT TO BRAG, BUT I'M NO STRANGER TOTHE WOMEN'S MOVEMENT MYSELF. YOU? IT WAS BEFORE YOUR TIME,ANDY, BUT I WAS A VERY BIGSUPPORTER OF THE E.R.A. I FOUGHT FOR THE CAUSE. I SUFFEREDFOR THE CAUSE. I SACRIFICEDFOR THE CAUSE. WHO WAS THE GIRL, ALEX? DEENA MARX.REALLY PRETTY. YOU WOULD HAVEBEEN PROUD OF ME. SEXUAL DISCRIMINATIONOF ANY KIND IS ENTIRELYINTOLERABLE TO ME. REALLY? THE MERE THOUGHT OF ITMAKES ME WINCE. [ INHALES SHARPLY ] DON'T YOU FEEL THAT WAY? WELL, YEAH, I DO. I JUST DIDN'T THINK YOU DID,THAT'S ALL. WELL, I'M GLAD YOU FEELTHE SAME WAY I DO, BECAUSE FRANKLY,IT WOULD BE VERY HARD TO WORK WITH SOMEONEWHO DIDN'T. YEAH, BUT I'VE ALWAYSTHOUGHT OF YOU AS KIND OF, WELL,CONSERVATIVE AND PREPPY. PREPPY? ME? NO, NO, I JUST CAME INFROM A WEDDING. [ LAUGHS ] OKAY, LET MEGET THIS STRAIGHT. YOU ARE PRO E.R.A. DEENA, YOU SAY E.R.A., I SAY... Y.E.S. WOULD YOU CAREFOR A CUP OF TEA? I'D LOVE ONE. LISTEN, JUST, UH, JUST SIT YOURSELF DOWN. YOU KNOW,YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS TEA. IT WAS GROWN, PICKED, AND BREWEDENTIRELY BY WOMEN. YOU KNOW, ALEX,EVERYTHING WE TALK ABOUT DOES NOT HAVE TOINVOLVE WOMEN. I DO HAVEOTHER INTERESTS. I DON'T. WELL, BUT I MEAN... I'M WILLING TO LEARN. YOU KNOW,THIS IS REALLY FUN. WORKING WITH YOUISN'T NEARLY AS DULL AS I THOUGHTIT WOULD BE. WELL, THANK YOU...I THINK. YEAH, AND IT'SREALLY SURPRISING. WHAT? WHAT IS? WELL, ALL THESE YEARSIN SCHOOL I'VE NEVER HAD THE LEAST BITOF INTEREST IN YOU. THAT DOESN'TSEEM POSSIBLE. WHY? OH, LITTLE THINGS,I GUESS... LIKE THE YOUNGREPUBLICANS CLUB. PFFT! THAT. OH, DEENA, DEENA,DEENA, DEENA, DEENA. I-I AM SOMETHINGOF A DABBLER. I'M THE SEEKEROF NEW EXPERIENCES. I'M LIKE A YOUNG SAPLING WHOSE ROOTSARE YOUNG AND THIRSTY. YEAH, SEE, THIS IS WHATI THOUGHT IT WOULD BE LIKE. YOU KNOW, DEENA,IT'S GOOD THAT WE CAN LAUGHIN THESE TROUBLED TIMES, WHEN WOMEN ARESO RUTHLESSLY OPPRESSED BY THIS SEXIST SOCIETY. [ CLEARS THROAT ] OH, HI.UH...LIKE SOME TEA? NO, THANK YOU. NICE, UH...APRON, SON. WELL, THANKS, DAD. I HOPE YOU DON'T MINDME BORROWING IT. I, UH... I GOT QUICHE ON MINE. NO. NO, NO, NOT AT ALL. WHEN YOU'RE DONE, HANG ITNEXT TO MY JELL-O MOLDS. Alex: FROM THERE, THE RELATIONSHIP REALLY TOOK OFFAND FLOURISHED. Elyse: WITH ONLYONE SMALL PROBLEM, ALEX -- IT WAS A RELATIONSHIPBUILT ENTIRELY ON LIES. SURE, IF YOU WANTTO GET TECHNICAL. TELL ME, ALEX, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEENA SUPPORTER OF WOMEN'S RIGHTS? VIRTUALLY SINCE BIRTH. ALEX, LEAVE THEM ALONE.THEY'RE JUST PLAYING. DAD, I WILL NOT BE RIDICULEDIN MY OWN HOME... BY PUPPETS. THAT'S WHAT'S WRONGWITH YOU FEMINISTS. YOU HAVENO SENSE OF HUMOR. MOM,I AM NOT A FEMINIST. I AM SIMPLY POSINGAS A FEMINIST OUT OF RESPECTFOR THE GIRL I CARE ABOUT. I-I HOPESHE APPRECIATES IT. LOOK, WHY IS EVERYBODYPICKING ON ME? LAST NIGHT, I DEFENDEDA WOMAN'S RIGHT TO SPEAK. NOW, IS THAT BAD? OF COURSE NOT. WE'RE VERYPROUD OF YOU FOR THAT. AND I SPENT A NIGHT IN JAILFOR A CAUSE I DON'T EVEN BELIEVE IN. I MEAN, DOES THAT MAKE MEA BAD PERSON? ALEX, THAT'S NOTWHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT. YOU'RE MISLEADING DEENA. YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIPBASED ON LIES. DAD, THAT'S NOT TRUE.WE'RE PAST THE LIES. WE'RE INTOTHE GOOD STUFF NOW. LOOK, DO YOU THINKI'M HAPPY DOING THIS? I'M NOT. YOU KNOW, IT STARTED OUTAS A FEW INNOCENT LITTLE LIES. I WOULDN'TEVEN CALL THEM LIES. THEY WERE --THEY WERE LIE-ETTES. AND IT JUST SNOWBALLED.I MEAN, WHAT CAN I DO NOW? DEENA BELIEVES VERY DEEPLYIN THIS CAUSE, ALEX. YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS ITIS, UH -- WELL, IT'S REALLY INSULTINGTO HER. IF YOU CARE AT ALLABOUT DEENA, YOU SHOULD TELL HERTHE TRUTH NOW.