[ THEME SONG PLAYS ] * I BET WE'VE BEEN TOGETHERFOR A MILLION YEARS * * AND I'LL BET WE'LL BE TOGETHERFOR A MILLION MORE * * OH, IT'S LIKEI STARTED BREATHING * * ON THE NIGHT WE KISSED * AND I CAN'T REMEMBERWHAT I EVER DID BEFORE * * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * AND THEREAIN'T NO NOTHIN' * * WE CAN'T LOVEEACH OTHER THROUGH * * OOH-HOO * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * SHA-LA-LA-LA OKAY, JENNIFER, ASK ME ONEFROM THE GEOMETRY CATEGORY. ALEX, I'M TIREDOF DOING THIS. I NEED A BREAK. AW, COME ON, JENNIFER! YOU CAN'TLET ME DOWN NOW. YOU'VE HELPED METHROUGH THE FIRST FOUR ROUNDS OF THE HIGH SCHOOLQUIZ-OFF. THE CHAMPIONSHIPSARE ONLY THREE DAYS AWAY. IT'S GONNA BE ON TELEVISION. I'VE GOT TO BE PREPARED. NOW, COME ON,JUST ONE MORE. ALEX, YOU'RE VIOLATINGCHILD-LABOR LAWS. PLEASE! I LOVE IT WHEN YOU BEG. HI, GUYS. HONEY, CLEAR THOSE BOOKSOFF THE TABLE. WE'VE GOT TO GET DINNERGOING. UH, MOM, I REALLY DON'T WANTTO BREAK MY CONCENTRATION. WHY DON'T YOU GUYSGO OUT FOR DINNER? HERE'S A COUPLE OF BUCKS. ALEX! SORRY, MOM. I'M JUST EXCITED ABOUTTHE QUIZ-OFF, THAT'S ALL. OH, ME TOO. IN FACT, THIS MORNING,I DROPPED OFF MY PLANS FOR THE SET AT THE STATION. HOW DID DADDY LIKE THEM? WELL, HE DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCETO SEE THEM YET, BUT I KNOWHE'S GONNA LOVE MY IDEAS. ALL RIGHT, JENNIFER, HIT ME WITHA LITERATURE QUESTION, PLEASE. OKAY, BUT THIS ISTHE LAST ONE. IN ACT FIVE, SCENE FIVE,OF "MACBETH," MACBETH REFLECTSON THE NATURE OF LIFE. QUOTE THE PASSAGEEXACTLY. MM. THAT'S A TOUGH ONE.G-GIVE ME A SECOND. OH, HI, GANG. HI, DAD.HI, HONEY. HI, DAD.HEY, ALEX. HOW YOU DOING TODAY? "LIFE'SBUT A WALKING SHADOW. "A POOR PLAYER THAT STRUTS "AND FRETS HIS HOURUPON THE STAGE, "AND THEN IS HEARDNO MORE. "IT IS A TALE, TOLD BY AN IDIOT,FULL OF SOUND AND FURY, SIGNIFYING NOTHING." HE SEEMSA LITTLE DEPRESSED. HE'S PRACTICINGFOR THE TOURNAMENT FINALS. SO, WHAT DID YOU THINKOF MY SET DESIGNS? WELL, UM... I-IT'S A LITTLE ELABORATE,ISN'T IT? I WAS THINKINGMORE ALONG THE LINES OF THE KIND OF SETWE USED LAST YEAR. WELL, LAST YEAR'S SETWAS SO DULL. WELL, MAYBE. I -- IT -- I-I-IT'S HARD FOR ME TO TALKABOUT THE PLANS WITHOUT HAVING THEMIN FRONT OF ME. TOO BAD I LEFT THEMAT THE OFFICE. GOOD LUCK. I HAPPEN TO HAVEAN EXTRA COPY RIGHT HERE. WHAT A BREAK. [ TELEPHONE RINGS ] UH,I'LL -- I'LL GET THAT. HELLO. UH, JUST A SECOND. ALEX, IT'S FOR YOU. HELLO. OH, HI, TED. WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEANYOU CAN'T MAKE IT SUNDAY? 104 TEMPERATURE. SO WHAT?! I-IT'S NOT EVEN LIFE-THREATENINGUNTIL IT GETS UP TO 105. YOU CAN MAKE IT, TED. COME ON! TED! OH, I'M SORRY, DOCTOR. NO, I DIDN'T MEANTO EXCITE HIM. LISTEN, IF TEDREGAINS CONSCIOUSNESS, COULD YOU HAVE HIM --HELLO? GREAT! JUST GREAT! TED QUINN CAN'T MAKETHE FINALS ON SUNDAY. WHY NOT? OH, I DON'T KNOW. SOME GIBBERISH ABOUTINFECTIOUS PNEUMONIA. AND NOW OUR TEAMIS A MAN SHORT. WHAT ABOUT YOUR FRIEND,SUSAN ARONSON? SHE'S VERY BRIGHT. NO GOOD, DAD.SHE'S IN THE 11th GRADE. EACH TEAM MUST CONSISTOF ONE PLAYER FROM THE 10th, 11th,AND 12th GRADES. WHERE AM I GONNA FINDAN INCREDIBLY BRIGHT, INFORMED, QUICK-THINKING 10th GRADERBY SUNDAY? ALEX? I KNOW WE DON'TUSUALLY GET ALONG, BUT IT HURTS ME TO SEE YOU IN A DESPERATE SITUATIONLIKE THIS. I'M IN 10th GRADE. I'M WILLING TO BEON YOUR TEAM. MAYBE IF WE SET TEDUP IN A GLASS BOOTH, HE WOULDN'TINFECT ANYONE. COME ON, ALEX,I'D BE GOOD! YOU? YES, HER!ALEX, WHAT IS THIS? DO YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY ONEIN THIS HOUSE WHO'S INTERESTEDIN ACADEMIC CHALLENGE? YEAH, I LOVEACADEMIC CHALLENGES. BESIDES, IT'S GONNA BEON TELEVISION! THERE'S AN EXCHANGE STUDENTFROM BRAZIL WHO'S PRETTY BRIGHT. DAD, BY ANY CHANCE, COULD YOUASK SOME OF THE QUESTIONS IN PORTUGUESE? I'LL ADAPT. OKAY. OKAY. PETEY, ONE MORE QUESTION. GROVER CLEVELAND WAS ELECTEDTO THE PRESIDENCY TWICE, IN 1884AND AGAIN IN 1892. WHO WAS CLEVELAND'SSECRETARY OF THE TREASURY, DURING HIS SECOND TERM? [ TIMER CLICKS ] [ SPEAKING PORTUGUESE ] UH, PETEY, I DON'T -- I DON'T THINKTHIS IS GONNA WORK OUT. I MEAN, LET'S FACE IT,MOST OF THE QUESTIONS ARE GONNA BE IN ENGLISH. [ SPEAKING PORTUGUESE ] NICE TRY, PAL. [ SPEAKING PORTUGUESE ] HEY, QUé SERá, SERá. CIAO. CIAO. JENNIFER! YES? BRING INTHE NEXT GUY, PLEASE. UH, HE WASTHE LAST ONE, ALEX. OH, HE CAN'T BE. THERE'S GOT TO BEAT LEAST ONE QUALIFIED KID IN THE 10th GRADE. THERE ARE PLENTYOF SMART KIDS, BUT NONE OF THEM WANTED TO BEON THE TEAM WITH YOU. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND THAT. I MERELY ASKED THEM TO COMPLYWITH A FEW SIMPLE RULES. ALEX, YOU WANTED THEMTO SALUTE YOU. I'M THE CAPTAINOF THE TEAM, JENNIFER. THESE KIDS HAVE GOT TOLEARN TO RESPECT AUTHORITY. SO, WHAT ARE YOUGONNA DO NOW? I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW.I GOT TO THINK. HEY, I'M SORRY, ELYSE. STEVEN, I'VE BEEN REVISINGTHESE PLANS ALL DAY. NOW, WHY ARE YOUSO RESISTANT TO MY IDEAS? I'M NOT RESISTANTTO YOUR IDEAS, ELYSE. BUT I JUST DON'T THINKTHEATER IN THE ROUND IS WHAT WE WANT TODO HERE. ARE YOU SAYINGYOU DON'T LIKE IT? I-I'M NOTSAYING THAT. YOU DO LIKE IT? I'M NOT SAYING THAT. I'M SAYING THIS ISA HIGH-SCHOOL QUIZ SHOW, NOT "MY FAIR LADY." "MY FAIR LADY"! THAT'S IT! THE QUIZ WILL BELIKE "MY FAIR LADY"! WELL, WE'VE GOTTHE SET FOR IT. NO, NO, NO,YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHAT I'VE GOT TO DOIS FIND MY ELIZA DOOLITTLE. A 10th GRADERWHO KNOWS VIRTUALLY NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING. AN EMPTY VESSEL THAT I CANFILL WITH MY KNOWLEDGE, MY INSIGHT, MY WISDOM. SOMEONE WHOSE MINDIS A TOTAL BLANK. A CLEAN SLATE. MOM! COULD YOU HELP MEIN THE KITCHEN? I'M TRYING TO MAKEA SNACK. I FORGOT HOWTHE BLENDER WORKS. MALLORY. ALL RIGHT, MALLORY. LET'S TURNTO THE NEXT QUESTION. ALEX, WE'VE BEEN DOING THISFOR HOURS. I'M GETTING TIRED! SHE NEEDS HER REST. JENNIFER, I DON'T THINKYOU FULLY APPRECIATE WHAT AN ENORMOUS TASKI'VE UNDERTAKEN HERE. I'M TAKINGA SIMPLE PEASANT GIRL WHOSE GREATEST PRIORACHIEVEMENT WAS COORDINATING HER EYE SHADOWWITH HER SWEATER, AND I'M TURNING HERINTO SOMEONE... SOMEONE WHO COULD HAVEA CONVERSATION WITH ME. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TOGIVE HER MORE INCENTIVETHAN THAT, ALEX. ALEX, LET'S JUSTGET THIS OVER WITH. YOU'RE GETTING A LITTLETOO POMPOUS, EVEN FOR YOU. OKAY. NOW, WE WENT OVERTHIS ONE YESTERDAY. IT'S A GEOGRAPHY QUESTION. AT THE SOUTHERN TIP OF CHILELIES A BODY OF WATER NAMED FORA FAMOUS EXPLORER. NAME THIS BODY OF WATER. UH,A BODY OF WATER, RIGHT? NAMED FORTHE FAMOUS EXPLORER. COME ON, NOW. SOUTHERN TIP OF CHILE? THE HUDSON RIVER. AW! THAT'S NOT RIGHT? NO, IT'S THESTRAITS OF MAGELLAN! OH! YOU GUYS ARE STILL AT IT?IT'S SO LATE. I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE. WE NEED YOUR HELPWITH ANOTHER DRY RUN. WE'VE HAD FIVE DRY RUNSIN THE LAST TWO DAYS, ALEX. JUST ONE MORE. WE'RE ATA TURNING POINT HERE. MALLORY ACTUALLY NAMEDALL THE CABINET MEMBERS. THAT WAS ME, ALEX. OKAY, OKAY.WE NEED TO WORK. PLEASE, MOM, DAD,DO IT FOR MALLORY. WELL, MAYBEFOR A FEW MINUTES. GREAT. OKAY, ELYSE, AND UH,JENNIFER, SIT OVER THERE, REPRESENTING ONE TEAM. MALLORY AND ALEXSIT HERE. AND I'LL STAND HERE. UH, MAYBE YOU SHOULDSTAND ON THE CHAIR, STEVEN.WHY? BECAUSE ACCORDINGTO MY REVISED, REVISED PLAN, THE MODERATOR'S PODIUMIS ELEVATED. UH, YEAH. WELL, LOOK, I'M NOTQUITE SURE WE'RE GOING TO BE DOING IT THAT WAY,ELYSE. WHY NOT? WELL, THERE ARE A VARIETYOF FACTORS INVOLVED. COULD YOU GUYS DISCUSS THISLATER, PLEASE? I MEAN,IT'S GETTING LATE. IT'S VERY IMPORTANT THAT MALLORYGET SOME SENSE OF WHAT THE ACTUAL TOURNAMENTWILL BE LIKE. OKAY?DAD, GO AHEAD.OKAY. FIRST QUESTION,IN THE AREA OF MYTHOLOGY.Alex: MYTHOLOGY. GREAT.YOU'RE GOOD AT THIS. REMEMBER,I SHOWED YOU THE PICTURES? THE GUY WITH THE WINGSON HIS FEET? I REMEMBER. OKAY. WHO WAS ROMULUS'TWIN BROTHER? I DON'T KNOW THAT ONE, MOM.DO YOU? YES. WOULD YOU LIKE TO SHARE ITWITH US? I'M NOT ANSWERING. I HAVE DESIGNED SIX PERFECTLYGOOD SETS FOR THIS SHOW, AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOUR FATHERREFUSES TO USE ANY OF THEM. ELYSE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOINGTO DESIGN A VERY SIMPLE SET. MOST OF OUR VIEWERSWILL NOT HAVE 3-D GLASSES. MOM, MOM. DAD! PLEASE. WE'RE ONTELEVISION HERE. THE QUESTION NOW GOES OVERTO HARDING HIGH. WHO WAS ROMULUS'TWIN BROTHER? UH, UNCLE REMUS. NOT UNCLE REMUS.JUST REMUS. WELL, I'LL BETHE WAS SOMEBODY'S UNCLE. I MEAN,IF ROMULUS HAD KIDS, THEN REMUS WOULD BE AN UNCLE,WOULDN'T HE? I SUPPOSE HE WOULD HAVE,YES. ALL RIGHT,THEN HE WAS UNCLE REMUS. MAYBE WE PRACTICEDENOUGH FOR ONE DAY. ANYWAY, I HAVE SOME OTHER PLANSWE CAN LOOK OVER, STEVEN. UH, ACTUALLY, YOU CAN NEVERPRACTICE TOO MUCH. STEVEN! UH, OKAY.OKAY. NOW, HOW ABOUT INTERLOCKINGPLEXIGLAS PLATFORMS? THEY CAN BE POWEREDHYDRAULICALLY. OKAY, WE'LL TALKPLEXIGLAS. OKAY, MALLORY,LET'S DRILL A LITTLE MORE. ALEX, I'M TIRED. JUST A COUPLE MOREQUESTIONS. NOW... WHAT DO THE LETTERS IN THE ACRONYM "SCUBA"STAND FOR? WELL, IT'S KIND OF LIKESKIN-DIVING, ISN'T IT? YES. YES, IT IS. NOW, WHAT DOTHE LETTERS STAND FOR? WE'VE GONE OVER THISBEFORE. SELF-CONTAINED UNDERWATERBREATHING APPARATUS. WHAT DID YOU SAY? SELF-CONTAINED UNDERWATERBREATHING APPARATUS. AGAIN? SELF-CONTAINED UNDERWATERBREATHING APPARATUS! BY GEORGE, SHE'S GOT IT! All: SELF-CONTAINED UNDERWATERBREATHING APPARATUS! AND WHO INVENTED IT? MAGELLAN! Man: FIVE MINUTES TO AIR,EVERYBODY! HI! HI! YOU'RE ON ONEOF THE TEAMS, AREN'T YOU? UH-HUH.THE HARDING TEAM. GREAT.GOOD LUCK. HA HA.THANKS. UH, WE'RE THE GUYS WHO WONTHE TOURNAMENT LAST YEAR. REALLY?HOW EXCITING. THIS YEAR,WE'RE THE JUDGES. REALLY?YEAH. MM-HMM. I'M SORT OFTHE HEAD JUDGE. WELL, I'MTHE CO-HEAD JUDGE. WELL, I'MTHE ALTERNATE HEAD JUDGE. WELL, IT'S NICETO MEET YOU ALL. I'M SO NERVOUS. HEY, DON'T WORRY.YOU'LL DO FINE. I HOPE SO. MALLORY, MALLORY. I'VE BEENLOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU. WHAT ARE YOU DOINGTALKING TO THESE CLOWNS? ALEX, THESE CLOWNSARE THE JUDGES. HI.HOW YOU DOING? I'M ALEX KEATON. NICE JACKET! LIKE THE TIE,TOO. IT'LL PROBABLY BE BACKIN STYLE AGAIN REAL SOON. HUH. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL METHEY WERE THE JUDGES? YOU DIDN'T GIVE MEA CHANCE. YEAH, WELL, FORGET IT.FORGET IT. WE'VE STILL GOTA COUPLE MINUTES. LET'S GO OVERA FEW THINGS HERE. UH, HAVE YOU MEMORIZEDTHE GREEK ALPHABET YET? NO.NEVER MIND. NEVER MIND. NAME THE FOUR GALAXIESCLOSEST TO THE MILKY WAY. ALEX, STOP IT!YOU'RE MAKING ME MORE NERVOUS. I'VE BEEN STUDYINGAS HARD AS I CAN. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE NOW. ALEX. MALLORY.COME ON, TAKE YOUR PLACES. WE'RE ABOUT TO START. Man: COME ON, GIRLS. GET OVERHERE AND TAKE YOUR PLACES. Man #2:HURRY UP THERE. Steven: YEAH, GREAT. Together: GET HARDING HIGH!FIGHT! OKAY, EVERYBODY,JUST RELAX AND TRY TO FORGETYOU'RE ON TV. MAKE BELIEVE NOBODY'SWATCHING. YOU'LL BE FINE. Man: OKAY, LET'S GO.COUNT IT, ANDY. FIVE. FOUR.THREE. TWO. GOOD EVENING,LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. I'M STEVEN KEATON, THE STATIONMANAGER HERE AT WKS, AND I'D LIKE TO WELCOME YOUTO THE FINAL ROUND OF "WKS HIGH SCHOOLQUIZ-OFF." [ APPLAUSE,THEME MUSIC PLAYS ] LET'S MEET OUR TWO TEAMS. ON MY RIGHT, WE HAVETHE FINEST MINDS OF ST. MARY'S HIGH SCHOOL -- MARY CATHERINE ROBBINS,MARY BETH McALLISTER, AND MARY MARGARET DUNNE. [ APPLAUSE ] AND, UH, TO MY LEFT, THE TOP MINDSOF HARDING HIGH SCHOOL -- GROVER GARVER, MALLORY KEATON,AND ALEX KEATON. [ APPLAUSE ] UH, OUR JUDGESARE THE CHAMPIONS FROM LAST YEAR FROM EAST HIGH SCHOOL. NOW LET ME REMIND YOUTHAT, UH, THE DECISION OF THE JUDGESIS FINAL. AND NOW LET US BEGIN. THE FIRST QUESTION -- [ BUZZER ] IT -- IT'S EASIERTO ANSWER THE QUESTION WHEN YOU KNOWWHAT THE QUESTION IS. I'M QUITE CERTAINI'LL KNOW IT, MR. KEATON. LET'S BEGIN AGAIN. WHO WAS THE LAST U.S. PRESIDENTTO BE BORN IN A LOG -- [ BUZZER ] ...CABIN? ST. MARY'S. JAMES A. GARFIELD. CORRECT! [ APPLAUSE ] NOW... BORN NOVEMBER 19, 1831IN CUYAHOGA COUNTY, OHIO. FINE. FINE.HE WAS SHOT BYCHARLES J. GUITEAU JULY 2, 1881. IT WAS A WEDNESDAY.VERY GOOD. MR. GUITEAUWAS WEARING --ALL RIGHT, THAT'LL BE ENOUGH,MARY MARGARET. OKAY, NEXT QUESTION. THERE'S A BODY OF WATERAT THE TIP OF SOUTHERN CHILE THAT'S NAMEDFOR THE FIRST MAN TO CIRCUMNAVIGATETHE GLOBE. WHAT IS THIS BODY OF WATER?[ BUZZER ] ALEX KEATON, HARDING HIGH. THE BODY --TO -- TO THE CAMERA. RIGHT. TO THE CAMERA. THE BODY OF WATER... FIVE SECONDS, HARDING. THE STRAITS OF MA-A-A-- MA-A-A-- UH, MA-A-A-- UH, ANYONE ELSEON THE HARDING TEAM? [ BUZZER ]MALLORY KEATON. STRAITS OFMASSACHUSETTS. NO, NO, I'M SORRY. THE CORRECT ANSWERWAS THE STRAITS OF MAGELLAN. STRAITS OF MASSACHUSETTSIS INCORRECT. [ BELL RINGS ] WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT'S --THE JUDGES SAY "CLOSE ENOUGH." WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. I, UH,SORRY, WAIT A MINUTE, THAT'S -- THAT'S THE WRONG ANSWER. BUT -- BUT AS I SAID BEFORE, THE DECISIONOF THE JUDGES IS FINAL. UH, HARDING WILL GET CREDITFOR THAT ANSWER. UH, THE SCORE IS TIED 5-ALL. UH, THE -- THENEXT QUESTION. WHAT IS THE NAMEOF THE MILITARY ALLIANCE BETWEEN THE SOVIET UNIONAND THE EASTERN BLOC NATIONS? [ BUZZER ]MARY MARGARETOF ST. MARY'S. THE TREATY OF MOSCOW?NO, I'M SORRY. THE QUESTION NOW GOESOVER TO HARDING HIGH. [ BUZZER ]ALEX KEATON. THE WA-A-A-- WA-A-A-A-- [ BUZZER ] Steven: MALLORY KEATON,HARDING HIGH. THE WARSAW PACT. YOU'RE RIGHT! THE CORRECT ANSWERIS THE WARSAW PACT! WHAT IS THE LONGEST SUSPENSIONBRIDGE IN THE UNITED STATES? [ BUZZER ]GROVER. THE VERRAZANO-NARROWSBRIDGE. CORRECT!FIVE POINTS FOR HARDING! [ BUZZER ] Steven: UH, THE QUESTION WASALREADY ANSWERED, MALLORY. YES. I THOUGHT YOU MIGHTLIKE TO KNOW WHAT THE SECOND LONGESTSUSPENSION BRIDGE IN THE UNITED STATES IS. NO, NOT REALLY. [ BELL RINGS ] Steven: BUT... BUT APPARENTLY THE JUDGES DO. THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE. Steven:NOW IT'S ALL TIED. HERE'S ANOTHER 5-POINTBONUS QUESTION. HOW MANY BONESIN THE HUMAN BODY? [ BUZZER ] UH, THAT -- THAT WAS --THAT WAS VERY CLOSE. I DON'T THINK I CAN CALL IT.JUDGES? Together: MALLORY. Steven: OKAY, MALLORY. HOW MANY BONESARE IN THE HUMAN BODY? 206. 27 IN EACH HAND,26 IN EACH FOOT. THAT'S CORRECT! [ APPLAUSE ] NOW THE FINAL QUESTION. FOR 10 POINTS, WHICH WILLDECIDE THE MATCH. CONSIDER YOURANSWER CAREFULLY. MASTERS AND JOHNSON... ...ARE KNOWN FOR THEIRRESEARCH IN WHAT AREA? [ BUZZER ]MARY CATHERINE. THAT'S CORRECT! [ YOUNG WOMEN SCREAM ] ST. MARY'S WINS145 TO 140! THANK YOU VERY MUCHFOR BEING WITH US. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY. ALEX...ALEX, ARE YOU OKAY? HEY. HEY, ALEX. ALEX, COME ON. ALEX! STRAITS OF MAGELLAN! HONEY, ARE YOU OKAY? MOM? DAD? IS THAT YOU? YEAH. WHAT HAPPENED? NOTHING SERIOUS. YOU JUST HADAN ATTACK OF STAGE FRIGHT. ALEX, YOU SHOULD HAVESEEN YOURSELF. YOU LOOKED LIKE A ZOMBIE. YOU COULDN'T MOVE.YOU COULDN'T TALK. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. THIS MUST BE A NIGHTMARE. IT'S ALL ONVIDEOTAPE, ALEX. YOU CAN SEE ITFOR YOURSELF. ALEX, SHE'S EXAGGERATING. IT WASN'T THAT BAD. HOW DID THE TEAM DO? WELL, YOU LOST. BUT NOT BY MUCH. MALLORY WAS FANTASTIC. SHE ANSWERED QUESTIONS INHISTORY, LITERATURE, BIOLOGY. YOU SHOULD BEVERY PROUD OF HER. WE LOST, HUH? WELL, YEAH, BUT --BUT MALLORY -- OKAY, OKAY,IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN, WE HAVE 26 DAYS TO FILE ACOMPLAINT WITH THE COMMISSIONER. WE CAN SAY THAT THE CAPTAIN OFTHE TEAM WAS INCAPACITATED -- ALEX! IT'S OVER! IT CAN'T BE OVER!WE DIDN'T WIN! EXCUSE ME. MR. KEATON. UH. MY TEACHER SAID MY ANSWER TO THE CRUSADEQUESTION IS CORRECT. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE,MARY BETH? YOUR TEAM WON. WE WANT TO WIN BY MORE. [ CHUCKLES ] ISN'T IT POSSIBLETHAT YOUR TEACHER IS WRONG? I DON'T THINK SO. SHE REALLY KNOWSHER CRUSADES. SHE'D LIKE TOTALK TO YOU. UH, I-I'LL BERIGHT BACK. HEY. I WAS SO READYFOR THIS CONTEST, MOM. I KNEW EVERYTHINGTHERE WAS TO KNOW. ASK ME ANY QUESTION. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS? NO, NO, GENERAL-KNOWLEDGE STUFF,HISTORY, LITERATURE. ALEX, CAN'T YOU SEEWHAT HAPPENED? THIS QUIZ-OFFWAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN. WELL, MAYBE NOTON THIS SET. BUT YOU TURNED IT INTOTHE SPANISH INQUISITION. [ BUZZER ] SPANISH INQUISITION.1478 TO 1834. POPE SIXTUS IV -- ALEX,SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING? I'M SORRY, MOM. HONEY, YOU'RE PUSHINGYOURSELF TOO HARD. THERE IS A LIMIT TO HOW MUCHA HUMAN BEING CAN ACCOMPLISH. YOU'VE GOT TOSLOW DOWN. MOM!DAD NEEDS YOUR HELP. THOSE ST. MARY'S GIRLS REALLYHAVE HIM ON THE ROPES. OKAY. WELL, I WILL DEALWITH THIS MOTHER TO MOTHER. YOU DON'T LOOK SO GOOD,ALEX. EXCUSE ME. I'VE BEEN COMATOSEFOR THE PAST TWO HOURS. I DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCETO FRESHEN UP. C-CAN I TALK TO YOUFOR A SECOND? SURE. O-ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10, HOW OBNOXIOUSHAVE I BEEN TO YOU? ALEX,I'M TIRED OF QUIZZES. JUST TALK TO ME IN NORMALSENTENCES FOR A CHANGE, OKAY? OKAY. I GUESS THIS HAS BEEN A PRETTYROUGH WEEK FOR YOU, HUH? UH, IT'S GOOD TRAINING. IF I EVER HAVE TO STAND UPFOR QUESTIONING BY THE SECRET POLICE,I'M READY. I-I WAS ONLY DOING IT BECAUSE I WANTED OUR TEAMTO WIN THE CONTEST. YOU KNOW, ALEX,SOMETIMES I WORRY ABOUT YOU. YOU TAKE EVERYTHINGSO SERIOUSLY. YOU GOT TO LEARNTO RELAX MORE. HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF SPENDING A FEW WEEKSAT A DUDE RANCH? NOT REALLY. WELL, WHY DON'T YOU JUSTKICK ME OR SOMETHING, EVERY TIMEI GET OUT OF HAND? EVERY TIME? THERE WOULDN'T BEENOUGH PLACES TO KICK. I'M SORRY. EH. COME ON, ALEX.LET'S GO HOME. OH, THIS HAS BEEN ONEOF THE WORST DAYS OF MY LIFE. YEAH. WHY ARE YOU SMILING? I KNEW THE ANSWERS, ALEX. MAYBE I'M SMARTERTHAN I THOUGHT. MAYBE SO. WHAT WAS THE FIFTH AMENDMENTTO THE U.S. CONSTITUTION? I'D ANSWER THAT, BUT I HAVETHE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT. NOT BAD. NOT BAD.