* I BET WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER
* FOR A MILLION YEARS
* AND I BET WE'LL BE TOGETHER
* FOR A MILLION MORE
* OH, IT'S LIKE I STARTED BREATHING *
* ON THE NIGHT WE KISSED
* AND I CAN'T REMEMBER
* WHAT I EVER DID BEFORE
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US
* AND THERE AIN'T NO NOTHING
* WE CAN'T LOVE EACH OTHER THROUGH *
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US
* SHA LA LA LA *
I'M ALMOST READY. ONE MORE MINUTE.
OK.
THANK YOU.
I HOPE YOU'RE NOT TOO UNCOMFORTABLE.
I DRESSED AS QUICKLY AS I COULD.
NO, NO, NO. DON'T BE SILLY.
AN HOUR AND A HALF IS JUST FINE.
THANKS FOR RUSHING.
I'M SORRY, ALEX.
I GUESS I'M A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE
DRESSING WITH A MAN AROUND.
HEY, I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY.
I'M THE SAME WAY.
I'M GOING TO NEED YOU TO ZIP ME UP.
YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
WAIT.
CLOSE YOUR EYES.
WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM, HOUDINI?
ALEX, I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS.
ZIP ME UP, OR YOU'RE FIRED.
YOU KNOW, THIS WAS NOT IN THE JOB DESCRIPTION.
THERE YOU GO.
HOW DO I LOOK?
YOU LOOK RAVISHING, SIR.
THANK YOU.
* STRANGERS IN THE NIGHT *
* EXCHANGING MONEY
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
YOUR CHAMPAGNE, MISS.
I DIDN'T ORDER ANY.
* STRANGERS IN THE NIGHT *
* EXCHANGING T-BILLS *
MAYBE IT WAS FRANK SINATRA IN THERE.
FRANK, COULD YOU COME OUT FOR A MINUTE?
YES--YES, DEAR?
DID YOU ORDER ANY CHAMPAGNE?
OH, YEAH. GOOD. YEAH.
COME IN. COME IN.
JUST MY WAY OF SAYING THANKS FOR THIS TRIP.
HERE YOU GO, SON.
THANK YOU, SIR.
NOW I CAN GET THAT OPERATION I'VE BEEN NEEDING.
THAT WAS NICE OF YOU.
THAT WAS VERY SWEET.
BUT I DON'T WANT TO RISK
MIXING BUSINESS WITH PLEASURE.
FIRST SIGN OF PLEASURE, WE MAKE A RUN FOR IT.
ALEX, I WANT TO BE AT MY BEST TO MEET MR. OKUN.
HE'S THE NATIONAL DIRECTOR OF OUR BANK.
HE'S A FORMER MEMBER--
THE NATIONAL RESERVE BOARD.
SERVED THREE TERMS-- 1972 TO 1978.
VERY GOOD.
YEAH, I DO MY HOMEWORK.
MR. OKUN IS A SILVER-HAIRED, PORTLY GENTLEMAN,
A GRADUATE OF THE WARDEN SCHOOL OF BUSINESS.
HE'S A FABULOUS BOWLER,
AND HE'S MARRIED TO A VERY YOUNG WOMAN.
AND VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT IT.
WHO WOULDN'T BE?
TAMMIE TURNED 18 MARCH 5th.
THEY JUST GOT BACK FROM THEIR HONEYMOON.
YEAH, THEY WENT TO DISNEYLAND.
THIS COULD BE A GREAT NIGHT FOR US.
HERE IS TO A ROOM FULL OF BANKERS
TALKING ABOUT INTEREST RATES,
FLUCTUATIONS IN THE PRIME,
EXCHANGING BANKING ANECDOTES.
THE KIND OF EVENING MOST PEOPLE ONLY DREAM ABOUT.
HEY, MR. KEATON.
HEY, SKIPPER.
SOMETHING'S DIFFERENT IN HERE.
DON'T TELL ME, BUT SOMETHING IS DEFINITELY DIFFERENT.
DID YOU GET A HAIRCUT?
SKIPPY, WE'RE GOING TO REWALLPAPER THE KITCHEN.
LET ME HELP.
OH, THANKS, SKIP,
BUT I'VE GOT EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL HERE.
OH, NO. THIS ISN'T A ONE MAN JOB.
NO, BUT IT IS A ONE MAN LADDER.
I'D LIKE YOU TO GET DOWN.
GOOD. THANKS. YES.
ANYWAY, I'M NOT WORKING ALONE.
I'VE GOT ALL THE HELP I NEED.
YO! WHAT'S HOLDING YOU UP IN THERE?
I'M STILL ON MY COFFEE BREAK.
HEY, GUYS.
THE WALLS ARE ALMOST READY FOR THE NEW PAPER.
LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT.
IF I SEE THIS PATTERN AGAIN, I'LL CRY.
I DIDN'T WANT THIS.
MALLORY, I AM NOT GETTING CASHMERE WALLPAPER.
LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD
AND THIS PAPER ON THE WALL.
DAD, LET NICK BE IN CHARGE.
THANKS FOR THE CONFIDENCE.
BASED ON YOUR PAST HISTORY,
YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY A WHIZ WITH HOME IMPROVEMENTS.
I BEG TO DIFFER.
WHEN YOU TRIED TO PUT TRACK LIGHTING INTO YOUR BEDROOM,
YOU BLACKED OUT AKRON, DAYTON, AND TOLEDO.
I HATE WHEN YOU EXAGGERATE.
TOLEDO HAD LIGHT.
THIS IS ONE OF MY GENERAL AREAS
OF EXPERTISE--
HOME DECORATING AND LUBE JOBS.
LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND.
ALL RIGHT.
ELYSE, GET THE GLUE.
MALLORY, WHERE ARE MY SCISSORS?
JENNIFER, HOLD THIS PAPER STRAIGHT.
OH, SKIPPY, GET OFF MY LADDER.
NICK, YOU'RE USING TOO MUCH GLUE.
SKIPPY, GET OFF MY FOOT.
DID YOU WANT PLIERS OR SCISSORS?
NO, SCISSORS.
WHY CAN'T WE USE--
NO! DON'T POUR THAT HERE.
IT'S NOT STRAIGHT.
WAIT A MINUTE.
STOP. THIS ISN'T WORKING OUT.
THERE ARE TOO MANY PEOPLE.
I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU ALL LEFT.
I'VE GOT A JOB TO DO.
GIVE ME A COUPLE HOURS.
I'LL HAVE THIS ROOM WALLPAPERED.
GOOD LUCK.
I WANT EVERYBODY OUT. THAT MEANS YOU.
I'D LIKE TO OBLIGE,
BUT I'M AFRAID THAT'S JUST NOT POSSIBLE.
YOU MIND TELLING ME WHY?
I'M GLUED TO THE WALL.
NO, THANK YOU.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO EAT ANYTHING?
I CAN'T EAT. I'M TOO NERVOUS.
I WANT EVERYTHING TO GO RIGHT.
YOU BETTER TAKE IT EASY.
THAT'S YOUR THIRD ONE.
WE'VE ONLY BEEN HERE 15 MINUTES.
WHEN YOU COME TO THESE THINGS,
YOU HAVE TO BE SOCIABLE.
YOU HAVE TO DRINK A LITTLE.
YOU HAVE TO LOOK LIKE YOU'RE HAVING FUN.
NO. NO, THANK YOU.
OH, LOOSEN UP, KEATON!
YOU ARE SUCH A TIGHT LITTLE GUY.
I MEAN...
LOOK AT THE WAY YOU'RE DRESSED.
YOU ARE SO SERIOUS.
YOU OUGHT TO BE WEARING SHORTS AND A BEANIE.
LET'S GO OUTSIDE AND GET A LITTLE AIR, OK?
WE CAN'T. WE'LL MISS OKUN.
WELL, THAT'S THE THING.
I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD MEET OKUN NOW.
YOU'RE A BIT DRUNK.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN DRUNK IN MY LIFE.
YOU'RE GIVING OFF VAPORS THAT COULD FUEL A JET.
IF I WERE DRUNK, COULD I DO THIS?
AWOOO!
ALL RIGHT. I APOLOGIZE.
COME ON, ALEX, YOU'RE SUCH A PARTY POOPER.
WHY DON'T YOU GO MINGLE?
OK. JUST HOWL IF YOU NEED ME.
OH, I'M SORRY.
I JUST TOOK THE LAST SWEDISH MEATBALL.
THAT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT.
I REMEMBER ONCE AT A PARTY
I TOOK THE LAST M&M.
THEN YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL.
YEAH.
WE--WE--WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON.
I GUESS SO. WE BOTH LIKE EATING M&Ms AND MEATBALLS.
HO HO.
JUST NOT TOGETHER.
WHY DON'T WE, AFTER THE CONFERENCE,
GO HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE.
GRAB SOME M&Ms,
A MEATBALL OR TWO.
SOUNDS DELIGHTFUL. COULD MY HUSBAND JOIN US?
YOUR HUSBAND.
I WOULDN'T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY.
I'M SORRY. I NEVER INTRODUCED MYSELF.
I'M TAMMIE OKUN.
OKUN? TAMMIE? AS IN MR. OKUN?
AS IN MR. CHARLES OKUN, JR.?
HOW DID YOU KNOW MY HUSBAND'S NAME?
YOU WERE BORN MARCH 5th?
YES!
HOW WAS DISNEYLAND?
TAMMIE!
CHARLES, I WAS HAVING THE NICEST CONVERSATION
WITH THIS MAN.
I NEVER CAUGHT YOUR NAME.
FEEGIS. WALTER FEEGIS. HI.
CHARLES OKUN. PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.
AWOOO!
THAT'S MY RIDE. EXCUSE ME.
A PLEASURE MEETING YOU.
REBECCA.
I MET TAMMIE AND MR. OKUN.
TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT,
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
FEEGIS.
HI.
AND IS THIS MRS. FEEGIS?
I'M REBECCA RYAN. I'M VICE PRESIDENT
OF YOUR HARDING TRUST BRANCH.
I'M CHARLES OKUN, JR.
HAVE YOU MET MY ASSOCIATE, AXEL?
AXEL P. KEATON?
AXEL? I THOUGHT YOUR NAME WAS WALTER.
AND THIS MUST BE THE LITTLE MOUSKETEER. HA!
HA HA!
REBECCA RYAN. HARDING TRUST.
I'VE HEARD SOME GOOD THINGS ABOUT YOU.
HAVE YOU HEARD THIS?
AWOOO!
WHAT'S HAPPENING, CHUCKLES?
AM I GETTING THE PROMOTION, OR WHAT?
I GOT THAT.
I CERTAINLY DON'T THINK
THIS IS THE TIME TO DISCUSS IT.
AND I MUST SAY,
I DOUBT VERY MUCH
WHETHER SUCH A TIME WILL COME.
HE LIKED ME.
I CAN ALWAYS TELL WH@N I MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION.
HE DIDN'T LIKE YOU MUCH, THOUGH.
THAT'S BECAUSE I FORGOT
TO SPILL MY DRINK ON HIM.
LET'S GO BACK. I'LL FIX IT FOR YOU.
I'LL TALK TO MR. OKUN.
I WOULDN'T SAY ANOTHER WORD TO HIM.
WE GOT HIM JUST WHERE WE WANT HIM.
LET'S GO BACK TO THE PARTY, ANYWAY.
WE DIDN'T GET TO DANCE.
THAT'S FOR THE BEST. BELIEVE ME.
WELL, LET'S DANCE HERE.
NO. I THINK I'M GOING TO SIT THIS ONE OUT.
* DA
* DA DA DA DA
* YA
* DA DA DA DA
* DA
* YA DA DA DA
* YA
* DA DA DA DA DA
* YA
* YA DA DA DA
WHOO!
* YA
* YA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA *
* DA DA DA DA
* DA DA DA DA *
OH!
WHERE ARE YOU GOING, FEEGIS?
WELL, IT'S UH...
IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY.
WE SHOULD GET SOME REST.
GOOD IDEA. COME ON.
SIT DOWN NEXT TO ME.
COMFY?
OH, YEAH. I'M--I'M QUITE COMFORTABLE, REBECCA.
DON'T CALL ME REBECCA.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK WE SHOULD MAKE UP NICKNAMES FOR EACH OTHER.
I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED A NICKNAME.
HOW ABOUT LUSH?
EVERYONE HAD A NICKNAME AT THE PREP SCHOOL.
BUNKIE, MOONIE...
I ALWAYS WANTED...
COOKIE.
ALL THE CUTE GIRLS WERE ALWAYS NAMED COOKIE.
WOULD YOU CALL ME COOKIE, ALEX?
I WILL IF YOU PROMISE
TO GO TO SLEEP RIGHT NOW.
PROMISE.
OK, COOKIE.
NO. SAY IT IN A SENTENCE.
GO TO SLEEP...
COOKIE.
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF, ALEX,
ABOUT WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE.
I BET YOU WERE A REALLY CUTE LITTLE BOY.
WELL...
WELL, I'M...
I'M NOT GOING TO LIE TO YOU...
COOKIE.
I WAS ADORABLE.
YOU'RE ADORABLE NOW.
I DON'T THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA.
REBECCA, I--
COOKIE.
I DON'T THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA, COOKIE.
I REALLY LIKE YOU, ALEX.
YEAH.
I REALLY...
I REALLY LIKE YOU, TOO.
I THINK YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON.
YOU'VE GOT A GOOD HEART,
AND YOU'VE HAD WAY TOO MUCH TO DRINK.
GOOD NIGHT, COOKIE.
EVERYBODY, COULD YOU COME OUT FOR A MINUTE?
THERE'S SOMETHING I'D LIKE TO SHOW YOU.
WHAT, HONEY?
* DA DA DA DA
OH, STEVEN, IT'S MAGNIFICENT!
I NEVER REALLY LIKED THIS WALLPAPER,
BUT YOU MADE IT WORK.
THIS IS PRETTY NICE, MR. K.
MAYBE YOU CAN DO MY KITCHEN.
I AM GOOD WITH MY HANDS.
THERE'S A CERTAIN SATISFACTION A MAN GETS...
A CERTAIN SATISFACTION FROM A JOB WELL DONE.
MAYBE I SHOULD DO MORE.
I DON'T THINK SO, DAD.
OH, THAT'S...
THAT'S FINE...
THAT'S FINE. NO PROBLEM.
I EXPECTED THAT TO HAPPEN.
WHOA! HEY, HEY!
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
COME IN!
IF YOU'RE BEING SEARCHED,
I COULD COME BACK.
GEORGE, DIDN'T I FIRE YOU?
SOMEONE OBVIOUSLY THOUGHT YOU NEEDED AN INTERIOR DECORATOR.
I WAS SUMMONED BY A CERTAIN PARTY WHO RESIDES IN THIS HOUSE.
I DIDN'T THINK YOU COULD HANDLE IT,
BUT I WAS WRONG.
YOU'RE A BIG MAN TO ADMIT IT, ELYSE.
I APOLOGIZE. IT'S OBVIOUS YOU'VE DONE AN EXCELLENT JOB.
OBVIOUSLY, YOU DON'T NEED ME...
WHEN YOU HAVE A PROFESSIONAL LIKE MR. KEATON HERE.
I HOPE MY OTHER CLIENTS DON'T FIND OUT ABOUT YOU.
GO AHEAD, GEORGE.
DO WHAT YOU WILL.
PUT UP THE WALLPAPER.
CHANGE THE APPLIANCES. CHANGE EVERYTHING.
I GIVE UP.
FINE.
PLEASE GO TO MY CAR AND GET MY SUPPLIES.
ANDY, KEEP AN EYE ON HIM.
GIRLS...
LET'S BEGIN.
GEE, STEVEN.
IT'S GOING TO BE HARDER THAN I THOUGHT
TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO THIS WALLPAPER.
I REMEMBER WHEN WE BOUGHT THIS--
WHEN WE FIRST MOVED HERE IN APRIL 1968.
ALEX WAS ONLY 3.
WE LEFT HIM WITH THE BABYSITTER
TO FINISH OUR TAX RETURNS.
FIRST YEAR WE WEREN'T AUDITED.
WE WERE AT MARSHALL'S HOME FURNISHING STORE.
DR. SHERMAN HAD ASKED YOU TO CALL
BECAUSE YOU'D JUST BEEN IN FOR A VISIT.
YOU TALKED FOR A BIT, CAME BACK AND SAID,
"I WANT THAT WALLPAPER,
AND I'M GOING TO HAVE A BABY."
THE WALLPAPER SALESMAN SAID,
"HEY, LADY. WE JUST SELL WALLPAPER."
THAT BABY WAS ME, RIGHT?
YEAH.
YES, THAT WAS YOU.
I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS APPROPRIATE
THAT WE FOUND OUT WHILE WE WERE SHOPPING.
LOOK AT THIS.
WHAT...
IT'S A HEART
WITH "I LOVE RICHARD BECK" WRITTEN ON IT.
I HAD A CRUSH ON HIM.
YOU WROTE ON THE WALLPAPER?
HERE'S ANOTHER ONE.
"I LOVE RICHARD NIXON."
SEE. ALEX DID IT, TOO.
GEORGE, HOW MUCH WILL IT COST
TO REDO THIS WHOLE KITCHEN?
NOTHING.
NOTHING?
I CAME HERE PREPARED TO REMODEL THIS ENTIRE ROOM,
BUT I REALIZE THAT WOULD BE A TREMENDOUS MISTAKE.
I HAVE NEVER SEEN A GROUP OF PEOPLE
SO ATTACHED TO THEIR WALLPAPER.
AND FRANKLY, I WAS VERY MOVED.
GEORGE...
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
I SEE WALLPAPER!
YOUR WALLPAPER.
BACK ON THE WALL WHERE IT BELONGS.
GOOD MORNING, HONEY.
IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP, DUMPLING.
OH, GO AWAY, ALEX.
OH, COME ON, COOKIE.
HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT COOKIE?
I KNOW THEM ALL.
POOCHIE...
BOOTSIE, BUNNY...
ALL YOUR FURRY FRIENDS FROM PREP SCHOOL.
I DON'T REMEMBER THIS.
WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?
NOTHING THAT SHOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED.
NOTHING THAT WASN'T GOING TO HAPPEN SOONER OR LATER.
NOTHING THAT WASN'T INEVITABLE...
DARLING.
OH, MY GOD.
REBECCA, AFTER LAST NIGHT,
I FEEL LIKE I KNOW YOU AS I'VE KNOWN NO WOMAN BEFORE.
THE QUESTION NOW IS WHERE TO SPEND THE HONEYMOON.
I AGREE WITH YOU.
THE CARIBBEAN IS NICE...
BUT SO IS HAWAII.
OR...
WE COULD GO TO DISNEYLAND.
LIKE THE OKUNS.
OH, NO.
THE OKUNS.
IT'S ALL STARTING TO COME BACK TO ME NOW.
DID I POUR A DRINK ON HIM, ALEX?
YES.
DID I CALL HIM CHUCKLES?
YES.
DID ANYTHING HAPPEN BETWEEN US?
NO.
OH, WHAT A RELIEF!
THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A COMPLETE DISASTER.
THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN NO COMING BACK.
I COULDN'T DEAL IF ANYTHING EVER HAPPENED--
PEOPLE HAVE LIVED THROUGH IT, YOU KNOW.
A FEW OF THEM EVEN LIKED IT.
I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY.
I MEANT, WHAT A RELIEF THAT THE NIGHT IS OVER.
YEAH. WELL, WHY DON'T YOU HAVE SOME COFFEE?
I'M SO EMBARRASSED.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
I'M NOT THAT KIND OF PERSON.
LOOK, THESE THINGS HAPPEN.
YOU HADN'T EATEN.
YOU DIDN'T SLEEP VERY WELL.
YOU HAD A FEW HUNDRED GLASSES OF CHAMPAGNE.
I STARTED TO LOOK ATTRACTIVE.
WHEN WE GET BACK TO THE BANK,
IT IS BUSINESS AS USUAL.
I'M THE BOSS.
YOU ARE MY ASSISTANT.
RIGHT?
AXEL?
YOU GOT IT...
COOKIE.
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY KELLOGG COMPANY MAKER OF KELLOGG'S FROSTED FLAKES CEREAL
PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
CAPTIONS COPYRIGHT 1987 PARAMOUNT PICTURES CORPORATION