[ THEME SONG PLAYS ] * I BET WE'VE BEEN TOGETHERFOR A MILLION YEARS * * AND I'LL BET WE'LL BE TOGETHERFOR A MILLION MORE * * OH, IT'S LIKEI STARTED BREATHING * * ON THE NIGHT WE KISSED * AND I CAN'T REMEMBERWHAT I EVER DID BEFORE * * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * AND THEREAIN'T NO NOTHIN' * * WE CAN'T LOVEEACH OTHER THROUGH * * OOH-HOO * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * SHA-LA-LA-LA OKAY,WHO WANTS MORE COCOA?[ ALL TALKING ] OKAY, WELL,I'LL MAKE SOME MORE. UH, STEVEN, WHY DON'T YOUGIVE ME A HAND? I'LL LET YOULICK THE SPOON. SHE'S SO GOOD TO ME. SO, ALEX, IF MALLORY HADN'TINTERRUPTED YOUR INTERVIEW, YOU MIGHT HAVE GONETO PRINCETON, AND I NEVERWOULD'VE MET YOU. WELL, THAT'S -- THAT'S FINEFOR YOU, ELLEN, BUT, UH... THERE'S SOME GIRL IN PRINCETONCRYING HER EYES OUT RIGHT NOW. I GOT A GREAT STORY TO TELL YOU,ELLEN, NOW THAT MY PARENTSARE OUT THE ROOM. OH,I LIKE THE SOUND OF THIS. WHEN I WAS 16,I HAD THIS BOYFRIEND. AND I STUPIDLY WENT TO ALEXFOR ADVICE. WELL, HE AND MY DADWERE RECORDING SPONTANEOUS FAMILY CONVERSATIONSFOR JENNIFER'S SCHOOL PROJECT. SO WHEN I WALKED IN,MY DAD PUT THE TAPE RECORDER ON WITHOUT MY KNOWING ITAND LEFT THE ROOM. SEE YOU LATER, SON. ALEX, DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE?I WANT TO ASK YOU A QUESTION. I'M ALL EARS. WELL, YOU'RE A GUY... MALLORY, UH,I'M NOT JUST A GUY. I LIKE TO THINK OF MYSELFAS A GUY AND A HALF. WHAT'S UP? OKAY, I WAS WONDERING,HOW IMPORTANT IS SEX TO A GUY? I'D SAY IT HASA CERTAIN IMPORTANCE. WELL,ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10. 35. THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. WHY ARE YOUASKING ME THIS? I'M JUSTMAKING CONVERSATION. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.THIS IS NOT CONVERSATION. CONVERSATION IS, UH,"HOW ARE YOU DOING?" UH, "LOOKS LIKE RAIN." "CARE FOR A WAFFLE?" THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON HEREYOU'RE NOT TELLING ME. WAIT A MINUTE, MALLORY. UH, HAS RICK ASKED YOU TO VISIT HIS TEPEE? YOU MEAN SLEEP WITH HIM? YEAH. YEAH, HAS HE? WELL, YEAH, HE HAS. OH. WELL, WHEN YOU SAIDYOU WOULDN'T SLEEP WITH HIM, I MEAN,YOU WEREN'T NICE TO HIM. I MEAN, YOU LET HIM DOWN EASY,I HOPE. I SAID YES. I SEE. UH, JUST A MOMENT. ARE YOU CRAZY? IS THIS THE WAYI BROUGHT YOU UP? CUT IT OUT, ALEX. LOOK, MALLORY, YOU'RE MAKINGA BIG MISTAKE HERE. YOU ARE 16 YEARS OLD.THAT IS TOO YOUNG. WELL, HAVE YOU EVER? HAVE I EVER WHAT? HAD SOMEONE VISITYOUR TEPEE? ME? [ SCOFFS ]OF COURSE I HAVE. BUT I WAS MUCH OLDERTHAN YOU. YOU'RE 16. I WAS 17... AND A HALF. I WAS 17, 8 MONTHSAND 3 DAYS, AND IT WAS LEAP YEAR. YOU'RE BABBLING, ALEX. LOOK, MALLORY,Y-YOU JUST CAN'T DO THIS! IT'S WRONG.YOU'RE NOT READY YET. WHY WASN'T IT WRONGWHEN YOU DID IT? AH, COME ON.THAT'S DIFFERENT. I'M A GUY. THAT IS SUCHA DOUBLE STANDARD, ALEX! IF A GUY LOSES HIS VIRGINITY,HE'S SOME KIND OF A HERO. BUT IF A GIRL DOES,SHE'S RUINED HER LIFE? THAT'S STUPID! WELL, IT MAY BE STUPID,BUT IT'S THE LAW OF NATURE. YOU CAN'T FIGHT THAT. LOOK, IT'S YOUR DUTY AS A WOMANTO SAY "NO." YOU KNOW, IF WOMEN SHIRKED THATRESPONSIBILITY, MEN, UH, MEN WOULD NEVERGET ANY WORK DONE. WELL, ALEX, IT'S OBVIOUS THAT YOU CAN'T BE OBJECTIVEABOUT THIS. WHY DO YOU WANT TO DO THIS,MALLORY? WELL, I CARE VERY MUCHABOUT RICK. AND I'M ATTRACTED TO HIM. I'M CURIOUS. UH, MALLORY,WHY DON'T YOU, UH -- WHY DON'T YOU TALKTO MOM ABOUT THIS? SHE LIVES FOR THIS STUFF. I CAN'T DO THAT, ALEX. YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT ISTO TALK TO PARENTS ABOUT THIS. ALL RIGHT. OKAY, WELL,WHATEVER YOU DECIDE TO DO, DON'T DO IT. ALEX, I KNOWIN YOUR OWN WARPED WAY YOU'VE TRIED TO HELP. I APPRECIATE IT. [ SIGHS ] WHY ARE THESE KIDSIN SUCH A HURRY TO GROW UP? WELL, I DIDN'T GO THROUGHWITH IT. I DECIDED I WASN'T READY. I SAVED HER LIFE.HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT? ALEX, YOU HAVESUCH AN ANTIQUATED ATTITUDE. COME ON, MALLORY.LOOK, YOU -- HEY,WHAT'S ALL THE NOISE ABOUT? NOTHING.NOTHING.NOTHING. LOOK WHO I FOUND SCRATCHINGAT THE BACK DOOR. HI, GUYS. SKIPPY,HAVE A SEAT. OH, ALL RIGHT.WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING? OH, WE'RE, UH -- WE'RE JUST,UH, TELLING STORIES, HAVING SOME FUN. ALEX STORIES. OH, CAN I TELL ONE?GO AHEAD, SKIPPY. WELL,MY FAVORITE ALEX STORY IS THE TIME HE RENTED OUTTHE HOUSE WHILE MR. AND MRS. KEATONWERE AWAY. OH, THIS IS A GREAT ONE,ELLEN. THIS IS DURING LELAND'SHOMECOMING GAME LAST YEAR. OKAY,THE, UH, AD IS IN THE PAPER. WHAT'S OUR STATE OF READINESS,SKIPPER? ALL SYSTEMS ARE GO,CHIEF. THE BABY'S ROOM IS IN A STATEOF RENTAL PREPAREDNESS. THIS STILL FEELSWEIRD TO ME, RENTING OUT A ROOMIN OUR OWN HOUSE. WELL, JEN, DON'T, UH --DON'T THINK OF IT AS RENTING. ALL WE'RE DOINGIS LETTING STRANGERS USE A ROOM IN OUR HOME FOR MONEY. YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK? DON'T ASK THE IMPOSSIBLE,MALLORY. ALEX, I THINK THAT MOM AND DADWOULD NOT APPROVE OF THIS. OH, COME ON, MALLORY.YOU UNDERESTIMATE OUR PARENTS. NOW, THEY ARE THOUGHTFUL,GENEROUS PEOPLE. AND I THINK THEY'D BETHRILLED TO KNOW WE ARE USING THEIR HOMETO SHELTER WEARY TRAVELERS. YOU MEANWE'RE GONNA TELL THEM? WHAT ARE YOU, CRAZY? Skippy: THINGS GOT OUT OF HANDREAL QUICK. I BELIEVE THE AD SAID$75 A NIGHT? RIGHT. WAIT A MINUTE.WE WANT THAT ROOM. I'LL GIVE YOU $80. $80? $80. I'M SORRY, SIR, BUT THAT'SNOT THE WAY I DO BUSINESS. NOW, YOU OFFEND ME. THE DRISCOLLS WERE HERE FIRST,AND THEY SHOULD GET THE ROOM. MAKE IT $90. I'M NOT AS OFFENDED ANYMORE. DO SOMETHING, JACK. I'M NOTGONNA SLEEP IN THE CAR AGAIN. WE SLEPT IN THE CARLAST YEAR FOR HOMECOMING. I STILL HAVE ASHTRAY MARKSON MY NECK. $95. $96.$97. $98!$98.50! $99!$99! WAIT A MINUTE!WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE! THIS IS A BIG HOUSE. WHAT ARE WE ALL BIDDINGON ONE ROOM FOR? I MEAN, THERE'S LOTS OF ROOMSIN THIS PLACE. PLEASE, LOOK, THERE'S ONLYONE ROOM FOR RENT. THE OTHERS ARE OCCUPIED. [ WHIMPERS ] LITTLE GIRL,DO YOU HAVE A ROOM?YES. GIVE YOU A HUNDRED BUCKSFOR IT.YOU GOT IT. WELL, UM, I-I HAVE A ROOM. [ ALL SHOUTING ] Alex:EVERYTHING WAS UNDER CONTROL, BUT THEN DAD CALLED TO SAYHE WAS COMING HOME EARLY. WE HAD TO GET EVERYBODY OUT.OUR GUESTS HAD OTHER IDEAS. HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.I INVITED A FEW PEOPLE. UH,AS A MATTER OF FACT... [ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ] HEY,WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WE DID IT! WE CAPTUREDTHE OTHER TEAM'S MASCOT! WE GOT THE CRAWFORD KANGAROO. [ CHEERING ] DO YOU BELIEVE THIS? THEYCAPTURED THE CRAWFORD KANGAROO! THIS IS A DAYWE WILL NEVER FORGET. I'M HOME. [ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ] [ ALL CHEERING ] HI, DAD.HOW WAS YOUR TRIP? OH, IT'S SO NICETO SEE YOU. WHAT ISGOING ON HERE? NOW, DAD, UH... DON'T GO JUMPINGTO ANY CONCLUSIONS. WHOA! WHOA! Mallory:DAD WAS REALLY FURIOUS AT US. Steven: MALLORY,I'D RATHER NOT TALK ABOUT IT. LOOK, DO YOU, UH, PLAN ON BEING MAD AT USFOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE? [ INHALES DEEPLY ] THAT IS MY PLAN. BUT, DAD, WE'REYOUR FLESH AND BLOOD. YEAH. YEAH, DAD. REMEMBER HOW CUTE WE WEREWHEN WE WERE BABIES? YEAH, WELL,I'M STILL A BABY, DAD. WILL YOU READ ME A BOOK,DADDY? YEAH, DADDY,READ US ALL A BOOK. [ SIGHS ] LOOK, COME ON, DAD.DON'T GO AWAY. LOOK... [ SIGHS ] ...YOU ALWAYS SAID THAT WE SHOULD TALKABOUT THESE THINGS. ALEX... [ SIGHS ] ...PARENTS ARECONDITIONED TO ACCEPT A-A-A FEW, UH,MINOR PROBLEMS WHEN THEY LEAVE THEIR CHILDRENALONE AT HOME -- SPILLED MILK ON THE RUG. A BROKEN DISH. THERE WAS A KANGAROO... ...IN MY LIVING ROOM. HE WAS JUST HEREFOR THE PARTY, DAD. THEN I GUESSI'M OVERREACTING. DAD, IF YOU JUSTGIVE US A CHANCE, WE CAN EXPLAIN EVERYTHING. OH, CAN YOU? CAN YOU EXPLAIN THE VALETPARKING IN THE DRIVEWAY? THE FLASHING "VACANCY" SIGNIN FRONT OF THE HOUSE? THE BILLBOARD ON ROUTE 41? LOOK, DAD, I JUST --I JUST LOST MY HEAD, YOU KNOW? WHEN THE -- WHEN THE MONEYSTARTED ROLLING IN, I GOT OUT OF CONTROL. I-I COULD SMELL IT.I COULD TASTE IT. I COULD HEAR IT CALLING MEAT NIGHT SAYING, "ALEX... AT LAST, WE'LL BE TOGETHER." DAD, I -- I GUESSYOU COULD JUST SAY THAT I-I KIND OF BECAME A --A MONEY-HOLIC. DAD, I NEED HELP. DID I MISS ANYTHING? YEAH, THEY'RE MOVING INFOR THE KILL, NOW, MOM. I'M BEING HELD RESPONSIBLEFOR EVERYTHING EXCEPT THE SINKINGOF THE TITANIC. WHERE WERE YOU ON THAT NIGHT,ALEX? ADMIT IT, ALEX. YOU DO HAVE A TALENTFOR CREATING DISASTERS WHEREVER YOU GO. THAT'S TRUE,BUT HE MEANS NO HARM. AT LAST, A LONE VOICE CRIES OUTIN MY DEFENSE. CAREFUL, MOM,THEY'LL GO AFTER YOU. DOES THAT MEAN YOU DON'T HAVEANY ALEX STORIES TO TELL ME, MRS. KEATON? NO WORDS TO THE WISE? I DIDN'T SAY THAT. OH, MOM,YOU'RE MY LAST HOPE. WELL, DO YOU REMEMBERTHE BIG FIGHT WE HAD ON YOUR 18th BIRTHDAY? [ SIGHS ] WELL, STEVEN WAS ON A BUSINESSTRIP, AND SO THE GIRLS AND I WERE GONNA TAKE ALEX OUTTO CELEBRATE. BUT HE DECIDED HE WANTEDTO GO WITH HIS FRIENDS TO SOME SLEAZY BARIN WEST VIRGINIA. THE CAMELOT INN IS A VERY ELEGANT ESTABLISHMENT,ELLEN. TAKE YOU THERE SOME NIGHTFOR THE HOG-CALLING CONTEST. WELL,I DIDN'T WANT HIM TO GO. BUT THE GIRLS AND I HAD BEENPLANNING THIS FOR A LONG TIME, AND I DIDN'T THINKTHAT HE SHOULD DRIVE 200 MILES JUST TO GO TO A BAR. BUT HE WENT ANYWAY. Alex: NEIL HAD SET UPSOME DATES FOR US, BUT IN ORDER TO IMPRESS THEM, HE HAD TO TELLA FEW SMALL LIES. I'D LIKE YOU GIRLSTO MEET A COUPLE OF YOUNG AIR FORCECADETS UNDER MY CHARGE. THIS ISLIEUTENANT LIPPMAN. LADIES. AND THIS IS COLONEL KEATON. UH, HOW YOU DOING? [ SIGHS ] THIS IS A BIG NIGHTFOR COLONEL KEATON, GIRLS. TOMORROW MORNINGAT 0500 HOURS, HE FLIES HIS FIRST MISSION INTO HOSTILEENEMY TERRITORY. REALLY? COME ON, NEIL. WELL, HE'S EXAGGERATING. A LITTLE. WELL,WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WELL, IT'S --IT'S NOT MY FIRST MISSION. IT'S MY FIRST SOLO MISSION. YEAH,AND I'M GOING WITH HIM. WHAT COUNTRYARE YOU ATTACKING? OH, UH...CANADA. WE'RE NOT AT WARWITH CANADA. [ CHUCKLES ] WAIT, ARE WE? ARE YOU SCARED? TELL ME, BUFFY,WHAT PLACE IS THERE FOR FEAR IN A STRUGGLEWHOSE ULTIMATE GOAL IS NOTHING LESSTHAN THE SURVIVAL OF LIBERTY? I DON'T KNOW. SO...ARE YOU SCARED? LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE STORYABOUT FEAR, BUFF. UH, ABOUT A YEAR AGO, I'M -- I'M UP IN MY F-14,DOING A TEST FLIGHT. I'M ABOUT 70,000 FEET UP.I HAD THAT PUPPY GOING MACH 2. ALL OF A SUDDEN,THE FAN BELT GOES OUT ON ME. AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING, ANYOTHER PILOT IN THAT SITUATION MIGHT HAVE FELT FEAR,BUT, UH, NOT THIS GUY. NO, SIR. UH, ALEX. THAT'S COLONEL KEATON. UH, I'M SORRY.COLONEL KEATON, I MEAN. WHAT IS IT? YOUR MOTHER'S HERE. I WANT YOU TO COME HOMEWITH ME. EXCUSE ME... [ CLEARS THROAT ] ...BUT THE COLONELHAPPENS TO BE MY DATE. THE COLONEL? UH, YEAH,MAYBE SOME OTHER TIME. TONIGHT IS A BIG NIGHTFOR HIM. TOMORROW MORNING,HE'S INVADING CANADA. OH, I SEE. MAY I HAVE A WORD WITH YOU,PLEASE, COLONEL KEATON? YOUR ORDERS HAVE BEENRADICALLY CHANGED. UH, MRS. KEATON, WOULD YOUPLEASE NOT TELL MY MOM THAT YOU SAW ME HERE? WHY IS HIS MOTHER HERE? UH, SHE PROBABLY CAME DOWNTO WISH HIM LUCK ON HIS MISSION TOMORROW. YOU HAD NO RIGHTTO DEFY ME, ALEX. I WANT YOU TO LEAVE WITH MERIGHT NOW. NO, MOM, THIS IS CRAZY. LOOK, WE CAN TALK ABOUT THISLATER, TOMORROW MORNING. YOU'RE INVADING CANADATOMORROW MORNING. MOM,I'M NOT LEAVING WITH YOU. NO WAY. YOU ARE COMING HOME WITH MERIGHT NOW, YOUNG MAN, AND THAT IS FINAL! [ SIGHS ] UH...NEIL, DOUG, LADIES, I GOT TO GO. HAVE A SAFE MISSION. MOM. Elyse:THE REAL FIREWORKS STARTED WHEN COLONEL KEATON AND IGOT BACK HOME. HE'S STILL OUT THERE,MOM. IS HE GONNA STAYIN THE CAR ALL NIGHT? HE'LL HAVE TO COME INFOR BREAKFAST. CAN'T WE JUST PUT A BOWL OUTBY THE BACK DOOR? [ SIGHS ] JEN, WHY DON'T WE... I'M WITH YOU.I'M WITH YOU. MOM... I MADE A PACT WITH MYSELF NEVER TO SPEAK TO YOUAGAIN. BUT I'VE GIVEN MYSELF PERMISSIONTO SUSPEND IT... BRIEFLY, BECAUSE, FRANKLY, MOM, THE CURIOSITYIS KILLING ME. HOW ON EARTHCAN YOU POSSIBLY JUSTIFY DOING WHAT YOU DID TO METONIGHT? GO AHEAD, I'M LISTENING. OH, I KNOW. I KNOW. YOU'RE MADBECAUSE I DISOBEYED YOU. WELL, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, MOM. I ONLY DISOBEYED YOUBECAUSE YOU WERE WRONG. WITHOUT JUST CAUSEOR PROVOCATION, YOU DENIED ME PERMISSIONTO DO SOMETHING I HAVE EVERY RIGHTIN THE WORLD TO DO. OH, SURE. SURE,THIS IS YOUR HOUSE. AND AS LONGAS IT'S YOUR HOUSE, I GOT TO LIVEBY YOUR RULES. WELL, THAT USED TO BE TRUE.NOT ANYMORE, MOM. I'M AN ADULT NOW. I GOT 18 YEARSUNDER THIS BELT, AND MY LIFEIS IN MY OWN HANDS. HAVE YOU ANYTHING ELSETO SAY? I THOUGHT NOT. ALL RIGHT, MOM. OKAY. I THINK I'VE REFUTEDALL YOUR ARGUMENTS. UNTIL YOU ARE READYTO APOLOGIZE TO ME, I AM DONESPEAKING WITH YOU. OH, I DIDN'T REALIZEYOU'D STARTED SPEAKING WITH ME. WHAT IS THATSUPPOSED TO MEAN? THE PAST TWO DAYS, ALEX,YOU HAVE COMPLAINED TO ME, GRUNTED AT ME,LECTURED TO ME, AND PRESENTED MEWITH ULTIMATUMS, BUT NOT ONCE -- N-NOT ONCE HAVE YOU EVEN COME CLOSETO TALKING WITH ME. SEMANTICS. OKAY, MOM.ALL RIGHT. OKAY. OKAY. I HAVEN'T BEENVERY CHATTY LATELY. I HAVEN'T BEENA MILLION LAUGHS. THAT IS NOT THE ISSUE HERE. THE ISSUE HERE IS MY RIGHTTO LIVE MY OWN LIFE WITHOUT HAVING YOUTRY AND CONTROL IT. YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHTTO LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE. I'M NOT TRYINGTO DENY YOU THAT. O-HO, NO?! OH! OH, NO? OKAY, THEN WHY DID YOU DRIVEA HUNDRED MILES AND HUMILIATE ME IN FRONT OF HALF THE STATEOF WEST VIRGINIA? YOU HAD A FEW HOURSTO KILL? NO, ALEX, I DID ITBECAUSE YOU DEFIED ME. AND EVEN MORE IMPORTANTTHAN THAT, I DID IT BECAUSE I WAS HURTAND ANGRY AND FED UP. ABOUT WHAT? I'VE TRIED STARTINGCONVERSATIONS WITH YOU, ONLY TO BEPOLITELY DISMISSED. I'VE ASKED YOU TO HELP AROUNDTHE HOUSE AND BEEN IGNORED. YOU CANCELED OUT DINNER PLANSTHAT I HAD MADE WITHOUT A MOMENT'S THOUGHTTO MY CONCERN IN THE MATTER. I DO NOT ENJOY BEING MADETO FEEL LIKE AN INTRUSION AND AN ANNOYANCEIN MY OWN SON'S LIFE! OKAY, LOOK, MOM, I'M -- I'M SORRYTHAT I WASN'T MORE SENSITIVE. OKAY,I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE BEEN. BUT I'M NOT USED TO THINKINGTHAT WAY WHEN IT PERTAINS TO YOU. I MEAN, I-I-I THINK OF YOUAS MY MOTHER, NOT AS A PERSON. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. SURPRISE, ALEX. I AM A REAL PERSON -- FLESH AND BLOOD,REAL FEELINGS. AND MAYBE IN --IN ONE SENSE, I WAS WRONG NOT TO LET YOUGO OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS. BUT IF YOU WANT ME TO RESPECTYOUR RIGHTS AS AN ADULT, THEN YOU'D BETTER STARTRESPECTING MINE. OKAY, I DIDN'T RESPECTYOUR RIGHTS, AND YOUDIDN'T RESPECT MINE. SO, UH...HOW DO WE FIGURE OUT WHO'S RIGHT AND WHO'S WRONG,HERE? [ SIGHS ] THERE IS NO ABSOLUTE RIGHTOR WRONG. IT'S MY JOB, AS A PARENT,TO -- TO SET BOUNDARIES. AND IT'S YOUR JOBTO NEGOTIATE TO CHANGE THEM. WHEN YOU WERE 7 YEARS OLD,WE GOT IN AN ARGUMENT BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO WALKTO SCHOOL BY YOURSELF. I REMEMBER. I REMEMBER,AND, UH, I WAS RIGHT, AND YOU LET ME GO. YES,BUT I FOLLOWED YOU. AND I HID BEHIND TREESAND MAILBOXES TO MAKE SURE YOU LOOKEDBOTH WAYS AND YOU CROSSEDON THE GREEN. DID I? YES. IN FACT, WHEN ANOTHER KIDTRIED TO CROSS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BLOCK, YOU MADEA CITIZEN'S ARREST. YEAH, THAT WASLITTLE TIMMY DOOGAN. I LET HIM OFFWITH A WARNING. IT'S UNBELIEVABLE TO ME,ALEX, THAT 18 YEARS AGO TONIGHT, I HAD A BABY BOY. ME, RIGHT? EVER SINCE THAT NIGHT, YOU'VE BEEN TRYING SO HARDTO GROW UP, AND I'VE BEEN TRYING SO HARDNOT TO LET IT HAPPEN. WELL, CONSIDERING, UH, WE HAVE BEENAT CROSS PURPOSES, UH... I THINK WE'RE DOINGALL RIGHT. MOM, UM... I'M SORRY THAT I'VE BEENTREATING YOU SO ROTTEN LATELY. ACCEPTED. I'M SORRYI RUINED YOUR DINNER. AH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I HAD TO GO TO BED EARLYANYWAY. I'M ATTACKING CANADAIN THE MORNING. GOOD LUCK. THANK YOU. AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY. THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU, HONEY.I-I... AH, MOM,DON'T START THAT STUFF. I LOVE YOU TOO, MOM. [ CHUCKLES ] WELL, THAT WAS SOME NIGHT.I'LL NEVER FORGET IT. I'M NOT SURPRISED. NO ONE IN THIS FAMILYEVER FORGETS ANYTHING. HEY, EVERYBODY.ANDY'S JUST ABOUT ASLEEP. DO YOU WANT TO COME UPAND SAY GOOD NIGHT TO HIM? OH, YES.LET'S SEE THAT BOY. OH, UM,ARE YOU TWO COMING ALONG? NO, WE BETTER NOT. WHO KNOWSWHAT INCRIMINATING STORIES ANDY MIGHT HAVETO TELL ELLEN? SO, AFTER EVERYTHINGYOU'VE HEARD TONIGHT, DO YOU, UH,STILL LIKE ME? OR SHOULD I TAKETHE CALCULATOR BACK? ALEX, DO YOU REALLY THINKANYTHING YOUR FAMILY TOLD ME CAME AS A SURPRISE? I DIDN'T EXACTLY THINKIT WAS COMMON KNOWLEDGE. FROM THE VERY BEGINNING, I KNEW THAT THERE WASSOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT YOU. DIFFERENT AS IN, UH, GOOD? DIFFERENT AS IN... THEY'VE BEENA WONDERFUL SIX MONTHS. I LOVE YOU. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. I LOVE YOU, TOO. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, ALEX. DID YOU REALLY INVESTYOUR FATHER'S MONEY IN THE STOCK MARKET?