[ THEME SONG PLAYS ] * I BET WE'VE BEEN TOGETHERFOR A MILLION YEARS * * AND I'LL BET WE'LL BE TOGETHERFOR A MILLION MORE * * OH, IT'S LIKEI STARTED BREATHING * * ON THE NIGHT WE KISSED * AND I CAN'T REMEMBERWHAT I EVER DID BEFORE * * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * AND THEREAIN'T NO NOTHIN' * * WE CAN'T LOVEEACH OTHER THROUGH * * OOH-HOO * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * SHA-LA-LA-LA [ TIRES SCREECHING ON TV ] "CHiPs." ISN'T THERE ANYTHINGMORE INTERESTING ON? A TEST PATTERN, MAYBE? IT HAPPENS TO BEA QUALITY SHOW, ALEX. [ SIREN WAILING, TIRES SCREECHING ]ERIK'S REALLY CUTE. HEY, MAL, DO YOU MIND GIVING MEA HAND HERE? I'M TRYING TO WORK OUTTHIS HITCH IN MY SWING. I HATE BASEBALL. IT'S NOISY,IT'S CROWDED, AND EVERYBODY WEARSTHOSE TACKY DOUBLE KNITS. OH, JENNIFER,YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO PRACTICE BASEBALLIN THE HOUSE. SORRY, DAD. MALLORY, TURN OFF THE TV.ALEX, HELP ME CLEAN UP HERE. YOUR UNCLE NED'SGONNA BE HERE ANY MINUTE. MAYBE HE'LL PRACTICEWITH ME. KNOWING UNCLE NED,I'M SURE HE WILL, BUT I'M COUNTING ONYOU TO KEEP HIM UNDERCONTROL THIS TIME. DON'T YOU LIKE ITWHEN UNCLE NED COMES? I LOVE IT, BUT I JUST WISH ONE TIMEWHEN YOUR BROTHER COMES TO TOWN HE'D GIVE USMORE THAN TWO HOURS' NOTICE. UNCLE NED MAY BE IMPULSIVE, BUT YOU GOT TO REMEMBERONE THING. HE'S THE JUNIOR VICE PRESIDENTOF THE SYNTRAM CORPORATION, WHICH HAPPENS TO BETHE 12th LARGEST MULTINATIONAL CORPORATIONIN THE WORLD. IN THE FAST-PACED WORLDOF BIG BUSINESS, DECISIONS HAVE TO BE MADELIKE THAT. THERE'S NO TIME TO THINK. YOU'LL FIT RIGHT INSOMEDAY, ALEX. [ DOORBELL RINGS ] [ ALL TALKING EXCITEDLY ] NED! HEY! [ BOTH CHEERING ] OH-HO!OH! Steven:YOU'RE LOOKING GREAT. OH, MY. [ High-pitched voice ]WHO'S THE LITTLE MONKEY FACE? HEY, ALEX. * SHE'S A WOMAN NOW HEY, HOW YOU DOING?WELCOME.GOOD, GOOD, GOOD. IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU!COME ON AND SIT DOWN! OH, IT'S GOOD TO SEEALL OF YOU GUYS! OH, THE BAG!HERE YOU GO, NED. I HAVE PRESENTS FOR EACHAND EVERY ONE OF YOU. OH,YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE. STARTING WITH JENNIFER. IT'S A LITTLE NEW YORK CITYSKYLINE INSIDE A DOME. SHAKE IT UP,SNOW'S INSIDE. [ CHUCKLES ] CAREFUL WITH THAT.IT'S ONE OF A KIND. I ALSO HAVE ONEFOR EACH OF THE REST OF YOU! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! ALEX! MALLORY!ELYSE! STEVEN! OHH, STEVEN, I'M SORRY. YOU KNOW,ONE DAY I'M GONNA WORK INSIDE OF ONEOF THOSE BUILDINGS. SHOULD BE A PERFECT FIT. [ TELEPHONE RINGS ]I'LL GET IT. HELLO. HI, MOM!YEAH, I'M FINE. HEY, HAVE I GOT A SURPRISEFOR YOU. YOU WILL NEVER GUESSWHO JUST CAME FOR A VISIT. UH, WHO IS IT?UH...THE GAS MAN. HE JUST CAMETO READ THE METER. WELL, HE PREFERSREADING AT NIGHT. HE SLEEPS BETTERIF HE READS FIRST. CAN I CALL YOU BACKLATER, MOM? GOOD, OKAY, THANKS.BYE. [ EXHALES SHARPLY ]WHY DID YOU DO THAT? NO REASON. LOOK, ELYSE,I-I'M ON VACATION. I JUST WANT TO RELAX. IF IT'S ALL THE SAME, I'D LIKE TO TAKEA COUPLE OF DAYS, GET SETTLED BEFORE I TALKTO MOM AND DAD. UH, PARENTS CAN BE TOUGHTO DEAL WITH SOMETIMES. HEY, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. AH, NED, IT'S GREAT THATYOU COULD GET THIS TIME OFF, CONSIDERINGTHAT YOU TOOK A VACATION A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO. UH...YEAH. Y-YEAH, WELL, UH,THIS ISN'T A VACATION, PER SE. IT'S MORE OFA-A LEAVE OF ABSENCE. I WAS FEELINGA LITTLE BURNED OUT. I NEEDED SOME TIME OFF,YOU KNOW? YOU'RE NOT SICK, NOW,ARE YOU? NO. NO, NO, NO. NOTHING LIKE THAT.JUST A LITTLE TIRED. I WAS HOPING I COULD STAY HEREFOR A WHILE, IF IT'S OKAY? SURE.OH, THAT'D BE TERRIFIC. SURE, MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.WE WON'T BOTHER YOU. YOU CAN EVEN GO TAKE A NAPIF YOU WANT. OHH, GREAT. HEY! WHAT DO YOU SAY WE BLOWTHIS COUCH OUT OF HERE AND PLAY A COUPLEOF INNINGS, GUYS? UH... OH, YOU DON'T KNOWHOW I APPRECIATE A HOME-COOKED MEAL, ELYSE. I DON'T COOK MUCHIN MY APARTMENT ANYMORE, NOT SINCE THE FIRE. IT'S A MYSTERY TO ME HOW YOU LIVE IN THAT APARTMENT. IT WAS SUCH A MESSLAST TIME WE VISITED. COME ON, ELYSE, YOU JUSTCAUGHT ME AT A BAD TIME. I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO TIDY UPBEFORE YOU ARRIVED. IT LOOKED LIKE STRIP MININGHAD BEEN GOING ON. NO. NO STRIP MINING. THE GEOLOGICAL SURVEYS WE DIDWERE INCONCLUSIVE. DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME, NED.I-I WORRY ABOUT YOU. I KNOW.AND IT'S SO CUTE. YOU'RE SUCH A BIG SISTER. SO, NED, UH, HOW'S WORK? WHAT'S GOING ONAT SYNTRAM? COME ON, DAD.I SHOWED YOU THAT CLIPPING. THEY'VE MOVED UP SEVEN NOTCHESON THE FORTUNE 500. YOU'VE GOT A COPY OF THEFORTUNE 500 IN YOUR WALLET? NO, I WISH. I ONLY HAVE THE TOP 25IN MY WALLET. I KEEP THE COMPLETE LISTUNDER MY PILLOW. I ALSO HAVE... THE CLIPPINGFROM TWO YEARS AGO WHEN YOU WERE PROMOTEDTO JUNIOR VICE PRESIDENT... AND YOUR SPEECHBEFORE THE WORLD BANK... AND YOUR AWARD FOR BESTYOUNG EXECUTIVE OF 1981. YOU GOT ANY PICTURES OF MEIN A SWIMSUIT IN THERE? COME ON, UNCLE NED, THERE'SNO NEED FOR FALSE MODESTY. WE ALL KNOWYOU'RE A GENIUS. YOUR COMMANDOF COMPUTER TECHNOLOGY, YOUR BUSINESS ACUMEN, YOUR MATH ABILITIESARE WELL-DOCUMENTED. THAT'S RIGHT. YOU'RE LOOKING AT A MANWHO'S MEMORIZED EVERY NUMBERBETWEEN ONE AND 100. OH, YEAH?WHAT COMES AFTER 63? OH, COME ON, JENNIFER.NOT WHEN EVERYBODY'S WATCHING. [ TELEPHONE RINGS ] HELLO? ALLIEDINTERNATIONAL AIRLINES? WHA-- NO, I-I'M SORRY. YOU MUST HAVETHE WRONG NUMBER. THERE'S NO ONE NAMEDSTANISLAW DEMKOWSKI HERE. [ Russian accent ]THIS IS STANISLAW. NYET, NYET. NO. I-I DO NOT KNOWWHEN I WILL BE LEAVING YET. CAN I KEEPMY RETURN TICKET OPEN? OH, DANKE, DANKE. BEI MIR BIST DU SCHOEN. [ Normal voice ]UH, SINCE I'M UP, ANYBODY NEEDANYTHING FROM THE FRIDGE? SOME BUTTER,SOME BAKING SODA, SOME CHOPPED CHIVES? NED, THAT CALL WAS FOR SOMEONENAMED STANISLAW. YEAH, THAT STRUCK MEAS STRANGE, ALSO. NED. OH, WELL, THERE'SA VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. I BOOKED MY AIRLINE TICKETTHROUGH THE COMPANY'S COMPUTERS, AND I USED AN ASSUMED NAME SOTHEY WOULDN'T KNOW I WAS HERE. OTHERWISE, THEY'D BE CALLINGEVERY FIVE MINUTES WITH SOME PROBLEMAT WORK. MAY I USE YOUR PHONE FORA SECOND? QUICK BUSINESS CALL? CERTAINLY, STANISLAW. AFTER ALL, YOU ARE A GUESTIN OUR COUNTRY. THE FALCON HAS LANDED. THE FAT MAN WALKS ALONE. I REPEAT --THE FALCON HAS LANDED, AND THE FAT MAN WALKS ALONE. SO, YOU'RE SUREABOUT THOSE CHOPPED CHIVES? GOOD MORNING. GOOD MORNING, UNCLE NED.YOU SLEEP WELL? LIKE A BABY.DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME CRYING? WHAT YOU WORKING ON? ALGEBRA. MM, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? ALGEBRA. NEED SOME HELP? WELL, I DID THIS PROBLEMWITH THAT FORMULA YOU SHOWED ME LAST NIGHT, AND I GOT "X" EQUALS 7. BUT THE BOOK SAYS"X" EQUALS 9. COMPROMISE.MAKE "X" EQUAL 8. OKAY. NOW, I WANT ALL THE DIRT.TELL ME EVERYTHING. THE INNER WORKINGSOF THE CORPORATE WORLD. BOLD, DARING DECISIONS MADE IN THE FACEOF AN EVER-CHANGING AND UNCERTAINWORLD ECONOMY. UH, SURVIVALOF THE FITTEST ELEVATED TO THE HIGHEST LEVELSOF CORPORATE TECHNOLOGY. COME ON, UNCLE NED, TELL ME,IS THAT WHAT IT'S LIKE? KIND OF. REALLY. GOD, I LOVE GETTINGTHE INSIDE STORY! DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM,UNCLE NED. UNCLE NED,WHAT IS REALLY THE MOST EXCITING PART OF IT ALL? [ SIGHS ] I HAVE TWO SECRETARIES. YOU'VE JUST DESTROYEDALL HIS FANTASIES. HOPEFULLY,I'VE CREATED NEW ONES. OKAY, KIDS.GET A MOVE ON! YOUR CAR POOL'SGONNA BE HERE ANY MINUTE. UNCLE NED,CAN YOU GIVE ME A FEW POINTERS? WE HAVE A BIG GAMEAFTER SCHOOL TODAY, AND I'VE BEENIN A BATTING SLUMP LATELY. WELL,THAT'S BECAUSE YOU SWING AT TOO MANY BAD PITCHES,JENNIFER, AND I TOLD YOU THATLAST TIME I WAS HERE. ALL RIGHT.COME ON, COME ON. LET'S GO OUTSIDE,AND I'LL TOSS YOU A COUPLE. [ CAR HORN HONKS ] UH-OH,OUR CAR POOL IS HERE.SEE YOU LATER! THAT'S OKAY,THAT'S OKAY. WE CAN GET IN A COUPLE SWINGSON THE WAY TO THE CAR. HEY ALEX, MALLORY, SHAGSOME FLIES FOR US, WOULD YOU? OKAY, BYE. OH, STEVE, COME ON OUT!WE NEED A CATCHER! [ SIGHS ] DON'T SAY IT, STEVEN. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOWWHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY. YOU WERE GOING TO SAY THAT NEDIS CHILDISH AND IRRESPONSIBLE. I WASN'TGOING TO SAY THAT. THAT'S A GIVEN. WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY IS, UH, I THINKSOMETHING'S GOING ON THAT NED'SNOT TELLING US. HE'S BEEN SO EVASIVEABOUT WHY HE'S IN TOWN NOW. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN,BUT THAT'S NED. I MEAN,HE TOLD US LAST NIGHT HE'S FEELING BURNED OUT, AND HE JUST WANTS TO TAKEA LEAVE OF ABSENCE. WELL, THEN,WHAT'S ALL THIS STUFF, UH... THE FAT MAN HAS LANDEDAND -- ACTUALLY, IT WASTHE -- THE FALCON THAT LANDED. THE FAT MAN WALKED ALONE. Ned: AW, GIVE THE KID A BREAK,MRS. ANDERSON! SHE'S GOT A BIG GAME TODAY! WELL, WHAT'S A COUPLEOF MINUTES?! [ TIRES SCREECHING,VEHICLE DEPARTS ] THAT WOMAN SHOULD NOT BE DRIVING A CAR POOL. SHE'S FAR TOO IRRITABLE. [ TELEPHONE RINGS ] OOP, I'LL GET THAT. HELLO? JUST A MINUTE.I'LL SEE. ELYSE, DO YOU HAVEANY FRIENDS NAMED BERNICE? UH, BERNICE WILKINS. BERNICE,WHAT'S YOUR LAST NAME? OKAY, SHE'S GOT THAT RIGHT.HOW TALL IS SHE? SHE'S ABOUT -- NED!WHAT... BERNICE. HI. WHO ANSWERED THE PHONE?THE GAS MAN. YEAH, CAN I CALL YOU BACK?THANKS. DON'T EVER CALL HERE AGAIN. NED, WHAT IS GOING ON? I JUST DON'T WANT THE PEOPLEFROM WORK TO KNOW I'M HERE. WHY NOT? [ CUP THUDS ] BECAUSE I'VE BEEN HAVINGSOME PROBLEMS AT WORK LATELY. SOME BIG PROBLEMS. WELL, THE TRUTHOF THE MATTER IS, I QUIT. OR IF YOU WANT TO GETALL TECHNICAL ABOUT IT, I WAS FIRED. OH, NED. I'M SORRY. YEAH, WELL, THE THING IS, I DIDN'T LEAVE ON EXACTLYTHE BEST OF TERMS WITH THE COMPANY BRASS. UH, THERE MAY BE SOME THINGSTHEY MIGHT WANT TO SAY TO ME THAT I DON'TREALLY WANT TO HEAR, AND SOME THINGSTHEY MIGHT WANT TO DO TO ME THAT I DON'TWANT TO HAVE DONE. WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?ARE YOU IN SOME PHYSICAL DANGER? ONLY IF THEY CATCH ME. NOW,I-I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHY ARE THEY AFTER YOU? WELL, I HADA LITTLE DISAGREEMENT WITH THE PRESIDENTOF THE COMPANY. ALL OF THIS IS OVERA LITTLE DISAGREEMENT? WELL, AT FIRSTIT WAS A LITTLE DISAGREEMENT. THEN I POURED A CUP OF COFFEEON HIS HEAD. ON YOUR BOSS? HE SAID HE WANTEDA SECOND CUP. UH, LOOK, UM, WHY DON'T I JUST EXPLAIN THISFROM THE VERY BEGINNING? ABOUT TWO YEARS AGO, THE SYNTRAM CORPORATIONBOUGHT A SMALL COMPANY CALLEDHEMSDALE MACHINE PARTS, AND, AS IT TURNS OUT, SYNTRAM BOUGHT THAT COMPANYFOR ONLY ONE REASON. TO MAKE MONEY. TO LOSE MONEY. UH-HUH. I WAS NEVER VERY GOODAT BUSINESS. YOU SEE,ONCE THE MERGER WENT THROUGH, SYNTRAM COULD CLAIM THAT HEMSDALE WASAN UNPROFITABLE BUSINESS AND SHUT IT DOWN, AND THEY WOULD USE THE LOSSAS A HUGE TAX WRITE-OFF, AND THE WHOLE TRANSACTIONWOULD ACTUALLY MAKE MILLIONS OF DOLLARSFOR THE COMPANY. AND I WAS THE MAN IN CHARGEOF MAKING ALL OF THAT HAPPEN. THAT WAS YOUR BIG PROMOTION,RIGHT? I REMEMBER THAT. YEAH. ALEX TOOK THE DAY OFFFROM SCHOOL. YEAH, WELL, UH,A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO, I VISITED HEMSDALEFOR THE FIRST TIME AND SAW THE PEOPLE WE WEREABOUT TO PUT OUT OF WORK -- ALL 1,800 OF THEM -- AND IT JUSTREALLY GOT TO ME. BUT YOU MUST HAVE KNOWNTHAT THEY EXISTED BEFORE THAT. UNTIL THEN,THEY WERE JUST NUMBERS ON A COMPUTER PRINTOUT,STEVE. BUT WHEN I SAW THEM,THEY WERE REAL PEOPLE. THEY HAD OVERALLSAND LUNCH BUCKETS AND HATS, UMBRELLAS. THE FORECASTCALLED FOR RAIN. WELL, WHAT HAPPENED? A LIGHT SHOWER.SUN CAME OUT ABOUT... WHAT DID YOU DO? OH, WELL... I WENT TO THE PRESIDENTOF OUR COMPANY, AND I EXPLAINEDHOW I FELT. I SUGGESTEDTHAT HE CALL THE MERGER OFF AND KEEP HEMSDALE OPEN. AND HE SAID TO ME... "NED, LET'S KEEP THISIN PERSPECTIVE. "THOSE 1,800 PEOPLEHAVE THEIR FINANCIAL CONCERNS, AND WE HAVE OURS." MOMENTS LATER,THE MAN HAD COFFEE IN HIS HAIR. POURING COFFEE ON HIS HEADWAS PRETTY DUMB, BUT IT -- DO YOU REALLY THINKTHEY'LL SEND SOMEONE AFTER YOU? BIG BUSINESSCAN BE DANGEROUS. I'VE HEARD OF PEOPLEWHO HAVE DISAPPEARED AFTER MIXING UPA LUNCH ORDER. MUST BE VERY DIFFICULTFOR YOU. I MEAN, AFTER ALL YOU'VE WORKEDFOR FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS. YEAH, I GUESSI HAD NO OTHER CHOICE. BUT, UM,WHAT WAS ALL THIS BUSINESS ABOUT THE, UH, FALCONAND THE FAT MAN?YEAH. OH, THAT WAS NOTHING. I WAS CANCELINGA RACQUETBALL DATE I HADWITH BILLY WHITSETT. WE CALL HIM"THE FAT MAN." [ BOTH LAUGHING ] I'M GLAD YOU TOLD US,NED. AT LEAST IT'LL --THIS'LL PUT AN END TO ALL THIS [Chuckling]CLOAK-AND-DAGGER BUSINESS. OF COURSE. [ TELEPHONE RINGS ] [ RINGING CONTINUES ] HELLO. "PUSSYCAT, PUSSYCAT,W-WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN"? JUST TELL 'EM I'VE BEENTO LONDON TO VISIT THE -- FORGET IT. Ned: OH, YOU QUITTER. WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? I-I MEAN, WE HAD TIMEFOR ONE MORE INNING. IT WAS GETTING DARK,UNCLE NED. SO WHAT?IT WAS A TIE GAME! I WAS GETTING TIRED. HEY. YOU PLAY TIRED.THAT'S PART OF THE GAME. THEIR PITCHER WAS EVENLOSING HER GOOD STUFF. ALL THE KIDS HAD TO GO HOMEFOR DINNER. WHAT A GYP. HEY, CHAMP. HI, UNCLE NED. LISTEN, UH, MY DADTOLD ME THE WHOLE THING. I THINKWHAT YOU DID WAS GREAT. YOU DO? YEAH. YEAH, Y-YOU DIDWHAT YOU HAD TO DO. NOW THEY KNOW YOU'RE NOTJUST ANOTHER YES MAN. YOU'RE A FREETHINKER,A-A REBEL. THE PRESIDENT WILL PROBABLYCOME RUNNING BACK TO YOU AND OFFER YOU A BIG RAISEAND A PROMOTION. ALEX, I'M NOT GOING BACKTO SYNTRAM. YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT.TO HELL WITH 'EM. THE OTHERBIG MULTINATIONALS WILL PROBABLY BE BANGING DOWNYOUR DOOR PRETTY SOON. YOU COULD JUST TAKEYOUR PICK, RIGHT? NO. I'M THROUGHWITH THE BUSINESS WORLD. FINISHED. NEVER AGAIN. THE BALLGAME'S OVER. YOU CAN'T DO THAT,UNCLE NED! YOU'VE GOT ONE OF THE BESTYOUNG BUSINESS MINDS SINCE...HENRY FORD. SINCE --SINCE HOWARD HUGHES! SINCE --SINCE A LOT OF GUYS! YOU'RE PARTOF A NEW BREED. YOU'RE BRASS.YOU'RE SASSY. YOU'RE NOW! LET'S FACE IT, YOU OWE ITTO HUMANITY TO MAKE MONEY. ALEX, THERE'S A LOT OFINFORMATION ABOUT THIS THAT HAS YET TO SURFACE. AND WHEN IT DOES, YOU MAY NOT BE THAT THRILLEDWITH ME. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? ALEX, I'M ABOUTTO TELL YOU SOMETHING THAT I COULDN'T TELLYOUR PARENTS. NO, I'M NOT. OH, HI, NED. HOW DID JENNIFER'SSOFTBALL GAME GO? WELL, IT WAS A TIE GAME, AND JENNIFERWANTED TO COME HOME [Whiny voice]'CAUSE IT WAS GETTING DARK, AND SHE WASGETTING HUNGRY AND TIRED, AND I REALLY THINKYOU OUGHT TO HAVE A TALK WITH THAT KID, STEVE. HEY, MOM AND DAD, A CAR JUST PULLED UPIN THE DRIVEWAY. YEAH, IT'S GOT U.S. GOVERNMENTLICENSE PLATES. ARE YOU SURE?POSITIVE. OH, SON OF A GUN, MALLORY,YOU'RE RIGHT! GOVERNMENT PLATES. NED, DO YOU KNOW ANYTHINGABOUT THIS? ME? NO, NOTHING.NEVER SEEN THE GUY BEFORE. BUT WHOEVER HE IS, HE'S ABOUTTO RING YOUR FRONT DOORBELL. WELL, I GOT TOGO GET SOME ICE CREAM. NED! [ DOORBELL RINGS ] YES?IS THISTHE KEATON RESIDENCE? YES.GREAT! THAT WOULD MAKE YOUSTEVEN KEATON, RIGHT? UH, RIGHT. WHOA!TWO OUT OF TWO! UH, WHAT CAN I DOFOR YOU? MAY -- MAY I COME IN? YEAH.MY NAME'S BERT CARLYLE. I'M WITHYOUR LOCAL OFFICE OF THE FEDERAL BUREAUOF INVESTIGATION. WHAT'S GOING ON? DON'T TELL ME!DON'T TELL ME! YOU -- YOU -- YOU --YOU MUST BE ELYSE, RIGHT? THAT'S RIGHT.[ CHUCKLES ] I'M PRETTY GOOD AT THIS,AREN'T I? AND, UH, YOU MUST BE ALEXAND, UH, MALLORY. UH, WHO'S THE LITTLE GIRL?FRIEND OF THE FAMILY? SHE'S OUR DAUGHTERJENNIFER. ARE YOU SURE? I'M QUITE CERTAIN. OKAY. FIRST MISTAKE. HEADS WILL ROLL! "JENNIFER... DAUGHTER." GOT IT. HOW DO YOU KNOWSO MUCH ABOUT US? WELL, I PULLED YOUR FILE FROMTHE COMPUTER THIS AFTERNOON. SAY, YOU KNOW,YOU FOLKS HAVE BEEN THE TALK OF THE OFFICEALL DAY LONG. UH, EXCUSE ME, DEAR.EXCUSE ME, DEAR. AH, HERE WE ARE. "STEVEN AND ELYSE KEATON.MARRIED MAY 1964. "PARTICIPATEDIN NO FEWER THAN 15 "SUBVERSIVEPOLITICAL DEMONSTRATIONS "BETWEEN 1966 AND 1973. ARRESTED THREE TIMES." SEE HERE, MR. CARLYLE, I DON'T KNOWWHAT YOU WANT WITH US, BUT I DO KNOW MY RIGHTS. ACCORDING TO THE PRIVACY ACTOF 1974, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO EXAMINETHE FBI's FILE ON US. OKAY, HERE. CAN I HAVE THAT BACKBEFORE I GO? IT'S MY ONLY COPY. MR. CARLYLE, WILL YOU PLEASETELL US WHY YOU'RE HERE? OH, RIGHT. LISTEN,I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU FOLKS. WE GOT A CALL FROM THENEW YORK OFFICE THIS MORNING. NOW, IT SEEMSTHEY'RE LOOKING FOR A -- A NED DONNELLY. HE'S MY BROTHER. WAIT A MINUTE.WAIT A MINUTE. HE'S, UH, YOUR BROTHER.THAT'S CORRECT. ANYWAY, WE'RE JUST MAKINGA ROUTINE CHECK OF HIS RELATIVES TO SEE IF THEY KNOWWHERE HE IS. UH, HAS NEDDONE SOMETHING ILLEGAL? MA'AM, THE FBI DOESN'TGO LOOKING FOR PEOPLE UNLESS THEY'VE DONESOMETHING ILLEGAL. IT'S A NEW POLICY. WELL, JUST WHAT DIDUNCLE NED DO? LET'S SEE,WHAT DID UNCLE NED DO? WHAT DID UNCLE NED DO? UNCLE NED STOLE$4.5 MILLION. WHOA! THE SYNTRAM CORPORATIONHAS FILED CHARGES AGAINST HIM FOR, AND I QUOTE,"EMBEZZLEMENT "AND TAMPERINGWITH CORPORATE RECORDS AND CORPORATE FUNDS INVOLVINGINTERSTATE TRANSACTIONS." IS THAT GOOD OR BAD? IT'S BAD, JENNIFER. SO, UM, DO YOU FOLKS KNOWWHERE WE MIGHT FIND HIM? UH... NO, WE DON'T. SHE'S RIGHT.WE HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM. NOT IN MONTHS. AND WE DEFINITELY DIDN'T PLAYBASEBALL TOGETHER TODAY. MR. CARLYLE, DO -- DO YOU REALLY BELIEVEMY BROTHER STOLE THAT MONEY? I MEAN [CHUCKLES]HE'S NOT THE TYPE. I'LL MENTION THATTO THE GUYS IN NEW YORK, BUT TO BE HONESTWITH YOU, I THINK THEY'LL WANT TO PUSHAHEAD WITH THE CASE, ANYWAY. CAN I HAVE MY FILE BACK?I GOT TO GO. M-MR. CARLYLE... IT SAYS HERETHAT WE PARTICIPATED IN LEFT-WING CONSPIRACIESTO OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT. WE -- WE NEVER DID THAT. WELL, DON'T TAKE ITSO LITERALLY. IT'S JUSTA BOOKKEEPING THING. L-LET'S JUST SAY, ENTIRELYFOR THE SAKE OF ARGUMENT, THAT WE KNOWWHERE NED IS. WE -- WE DON'T,OF COURSE.NO. NO.NO.NO.NO. BUT --BUT LET'S SAY WE DO. I'M JUST CURIOUSWHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO US IF, UH,WE DIDN'T TELL YOU... HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING,OF COURSE. HMM. INTERESTING. I GUESS... UH, HYPOTHETICALLYSPEAKING, THAT YOU WOULD BEHYPOTHETICALLY ARRESTED FOR HARBORINGA KNOWN CRIMINAL AND HYPOTHETICALLYBE SENT TO A VERY REAL JAIL. I SEE. FASCINATING STUFF,ISN'T IT, EH? WELL, LISTEN... I HAVE TO GO. IF, UH, YOU HEARFROM YOUR BROTHER, MA'AM, PLEASE, UH... GIVE ME A CALL. KEEP IN MIND, WITHHOLDING INFORMATION IS A FEDERAL OFFENSE. HAVE A NICE NIGHT.