[ THEME SONG PLAYS ] * I BET WE'VE BEEN TOGETHERFOR A MILLION YEARS * * AND I'LL BET WE'LL BE TOGETHERFOR A MILLION MORE * * OH, IT'S LIKEI STARTED BREATHING * * ON THE NIGHT WE KISSED * AND I CAN'T REMEMBERWHAT I EVER DID BEFORE * * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * AND THEREAIN'T NO NOTHIN' * * WE CAN'T LOVEEACH OTHER THROUGH * * OOH-HOO * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * SHA-LA-LA-LA DAD, CAN I HAVE THE KEYSTO THE CAR, PLEASE? I HAVE TO GO TO THE MALLAND GET ANDY SOME NEW CLOTHES. OH, NOW, WAIT A MINUTE. ALEX JUST TOOK ANDYSHOPPING YESTERDAY. HE'S GOT A WHOLE WARDROBEFULL OF CLOTHES. MOM, WHAT IF HE WANTS TO WEARSOMETHING CASUAL? OH, MALLORY, PLEASE. CHILDREN'S CLOTHES AREINCREDIBLY EXPENSIVE. WE SHOPPED FOR HIM,THEN ALEX SHOPPED FOR HIM. SHOPPING'S OVER. ANDY, WHERE'D YOUGET THAT OUTFIT? ALEX SAYS THIS IS WHATALL THE KIDS ARE WEARING. THIS IS HIS MOST CASUALOUTFIT, BY THE WAY. EVERYTHING ELSE CAN ONLY BEWORN AT A CORONATION. LOOK, DAD, WE'RE NOT GONNASPEND ANY MORE MONEY, OKAY? WE'RE JUST GONNA RETURNWHAT ALEX BOUGHT AND JUST GET HIM SOME NORMALKID'S CLOTHES, THAT'S ALL. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,BUT BE BACK WITHIN AN HOUR. WE'RE STARTING DINNER.YEAH, OKAY. DON'T FORGETSEAT BELTS. YEAH, DON'T WORRY. WHOA. HEY! I SEE YOU GOT YOURROUGH-AND-TUMBLE OUTFIT ON, HUH? GOIN' OUT TO PLAYA LITTLE BALL? YEAH. BASEBALL. DON'T YOU BE AFRAIDTO SLIDE IN THAT GEAR. THAT'S WHAT IT'S FOR. ALEX, THERE'S A MESSAGE HERE FORYOU -- PROFESSOR RHODES CALLED. HE'LL BE COMING BY SOMETIMETODAY WITH THE FINAL DATA. WHOA,THIS IS INCREDIBLE. DO YOU REALIZEWHAT THIS MEANS? WELL, IT'S JUSTA WILD GUESS, BUT, UH, I'D SAY IT MEANSTHAT PROFESSOR RHODES WILL BE COMING BY SOMETIMETODAY WITH THE FINAL DATA. NICE TRY, DAD. THAT'S NOT RIGHT? WELL, THAT'S JUST THE TIPOF THE ICEBERG. LOOK, IF PROFESSORRHODES SAYS HE'S COMING BY TODAYWITH THE FINAL DATA, IT MEANS HE'S MADEA BREAKTHROUGH ONOUR RESEARCH PROJECT. MY NAME IS GONNA BE ON A PAPERWITH DR. LLOYD RHODES -- MY IDOL, MY MENTOR, THE FATHER OFRHODES-IAN ECONOMICS. I WONDER IF HIS NAMESHOULD GO FIRST. CONGRATULATIONS, HONEY. I KNOW HOW HARD YOU'VEWORKED ON THIS PAPER. OH, AND, MOM, DO YOU KNOWTHIS COULD PUT ME IN LINE FOR THE WILSON AWARD FOROUTSTANDING ACHIEVEMENTIN STUDENT RESEARCH? IT'S THE FIRST JEWELIN THE TRIPLE CROWN, FOLLOWED BY THE McKINLEY AWARDFOR GRADE-POINT AVERAGE AND THE ADAMSFOR NEATNESS AND APPEARANCE. [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] OH, I GOT IT.I GOT IT. HEY, HEY, PROFESSOR RHODES,COME ON IN. WELCOME. THANK YOU, ALEX. LISTEN, I'D LIKE YOUTO MEET MY PARENTS, STEVEN AND ELYSE KEATON. PROFESSOR.VERY NICE TO MEET YOU. HI. ALEX HAS TOLD USA LOT ABOUT YOU. WELL, YOU HAVE QUITEA REMARKABLE YOUNG MAN HERE. YEAH, ALEX HASTOLD US THAT, TOO.[ CHUCKLES ] YOU KNOW, I-I REALLY SHOULDN'TTELL YOU THIS, ALEX, BUT I THINK YOUR CONTRIBUTIONTO THIS PAPER IS GONNA GET YOUTHE WILSON AWARD FOR OUTSTANDING RESEARCHACHIEVEMENT. THE WILSON AWARD, SIR.THOUGHT NEVER ENTERED MY MIND. AS EMCEE AT AWARDS NIGHT, YOU'RE LIABLE TO BEPRESENTING IT TO YOURSELF. OOH, I LIKE THAT.I LIKE THAT. THAT WAY, NO ONE ELSE'SFINGERPRINTS WILL GET ON IT. WELL, ALEX, HERE IT IS --THE FINAL DATA. DO YOU REALIZEWHAT I'M HOLDING HERE? WELL, I'VE BEEN BURNEDON THIS ONE BEFORE, BUT, UH... ...BUT I'M GONNATAKE A WILD GUESS AND SAY, UH,THE FINAL DATA. NICE TRY, MR. KEATON. BUT IT'SMUCH MORE THAN THAT. IT'S THE CULMINATIONOF MY LIFE'S WORK. IT'S THE LOGICALCONCLUSION OF 45 YEARS DEVOTED TO THE FIELDOF ECONOMICS. AND MY NAME'SGONNA BE ON IT. AND MY NAMEIS GOING FIRST. I GOT TO TELL YOU,PROFESSOR RHODES, THIS IS A STUNNING PIECEOF WORK. "THE CONCEPT OF DIMINISHINGMARGINAL RETURNS "MUST BE REASSESSEDIN LIGHT OF THE ELASTICITY OF CONSUMER DEMAND..." [ Voice breaking ] "...GIVENVARIABLE INTEREST RATESIN THE POST-KEYNESIAN ERA." [ Crying ] I'M SORRY.IT'S JUST SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL. WELL, ALEX, YOU'RE CERTAINLYTHE MOST PASSIONATE E-ECONOMICS ASSISTANTI'VE EVER HAD. I'M SORRY.I'M SORRY. IT'S JUST THAT, UH,ECONOMICS IS MY LIFE, AND IT'S JUSTSO THRILLING FOR ME TO BE ABLETO WORK WITH YOU... SPEND TIME WITH YOU. UH, LET'S KEEP THE HUGGINGTO A MINIMUM, ALEX. I'M SORRY. ALTHOUGH I CAN UNDERSTANDYOUR ENTHUSIASM. I MEAN, YOU --YOU HAVE A REAL TALENT. YOU KNOW, YOU COULD BEONE OF THE GREAT ECONOMISTS OF YOUR GENERATION. PLEASE DON'T HUG ME. OH, PROFESSOR RHODES,I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET MY SISTERS. THIS IS JENNIFER,THIS IS MALLORY, AND THIS IS... WHO IS THIS? [ GRUNTS ] WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? SAD, ISN'T IT? I DO NOT WANTA 3-YEAR-OLD BROTHER WHO LOOKS LIKE MAD MAX. I DO NOT WANTA 3-YEAR-OLD BROTHER WHO LOOKS LIKEWINSTON CHURCHILL. PROFESSOR RHODES,BACK ME UP ON THIS. OH, I KIND OF LIKEWHAT HE'S WEARING. WH-WHERE DOES A PERSON LIKE MEGET AN OUTFIT LIKE THAT? AT THE HIP TODDLER. WHY DON'T YOU GUYSBE ON YOUR WAY, HUH? WELL, GOOD LUCKWITH YOUR ECONOMICS HOMEWORK. MALLORY, MALLORY,COME HERE. COME HERE. THIS IS HARDLYECONOMICS HOMEWORK. THIS WILL BE A LANDMARKECONOMIC TREATISE. "AN ECONOMETRIC ANALYSIS "OF THE HOUSEHOLD'SINTEMPORAL ALLOCATION UNDERADDITIVE PREFERENCES." NOW I'M INTERESTED. ACTUALLY, IT'S MUCH MOREINTERESTING THAN IT SOUNDS. YOU SEE, UNDERNEATHALL OF THAT JARGON, THERE'S A BASIC CONCEPT THAT MIGHT RELATE TO YOU MUCHMORE READILY THAN YOU IMAGINE. PROFESSOR RHODES,YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU'REDEALING WITH HERE. HERE. L-LET ME EXPLAIN. HERE.SIT DOWN, MALLORY. LOOK, SAY THAT YOUWENT TO THE STORE TO BUYA PARTICULAR SKIRT, AND THERE WAS A BLOUSEIN THAT STORE THAT WOULD ONLY GOWITH THE SKIRT. THIS IS SCARY. NOW SAY THAT THE PRICEOF THE SKIRT ROSE DRAMATICALLY AND YOU COULDN'TAFFORD IT ANYMORE. WOULD YOU STILLWANT TO BUY THE BLOUSE? WHY WOULD I WANT A BLOUSEIF I HAD NOTHING TO GO WITH IT? EXACTLY. NOW YOUUNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF CROSS-ELASTICITYOF DEMAND. WHAT HAPPENEDTO THE SKIRT? THAT WAS JUST AN EXAMPLE. WHAT COLOR WAS THE SKIRT? IT DOESN'T MATTER. DOESN'T MATTER? EXCUSE ME, SIR.WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, YOU DON'T KNOW THE FIRST THINGABOUT ECONOMICS. DON'T FEEL BAD,PROFESSOR RHODES. YOU WERETAKING ECONOMICS WHERE NO MANHAS GONE BEFORE. LISTEN, I HAVE TO RUN. YOU'VE GOT ALLOF THE RAW DATA HERE, ALEX. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TO PUT ITUNDER THE PROPER SUBHEADINGS, AND BY GOSH, OUR PAPERIS READY TO GO. IT'LL BE A PLEASUREAND AN HONOR, SIR. EH, HUG UNDERSTOOD. [ SIGHS ] HI, HONEY. I CAN'T BELIEVETHE OUTFITS THEY BOUGHT. A LITTLE BOY SHOULD NOT BESLEEPING IN SEQUINED PAJAMAS. HE LOOKS LIKELIBERACE'S SON. WELL, THE GIRLS' INTENTIONSWERE GOOD. WISH I COULD SAY THE SAME THINGFOR THEIR TASTE. WHAT DO THEY EXPECT,SHOPPING IN A STORECALLED THE HIP TODDLER? WELL, IT'S BETTER THANWHERE ALEX TOOK HIM -- THE CORPORATE TODDLER. THIS IS ALL WRONG. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE STILLWORKING ON THAT SAME PROJECT. WHAT IS IT, ALEX? THIS IS CRAZY. THESE -- THESE FIGURESDON'T ADD UP. THEY JUST DON'T SUPPORTPROFESSOR RHODES' HYPOTHESIS. IS IT POSSIBLEYOU MISCALCULATED? COME ON, MOM, I-I'VE GONEOVER THESE THINGS A HUNDRED DIFFERENT WAYS. IT'S JUSTNOT GONNA WORK. DO YOU REALIZEWHAT THIS MEANS? I'M NOT FALLINGFOR THAT A THIRD TIME. IT MEANS I'M GONNAHAVE TO TELL PROFESSOR RHODES THAT 3 YEARS OF RESEARCHIS DOWN THE DRAIN, THAT ALL THIS WORKWAS IN VAIN. MEANS I'M GONNA HAVETO BREAK HIS HEART. [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] COME IN. PROFESSOR RHODES? ALEX, HOW'S THE FINALCHECKING GOING? WELL, THAT'S -- THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TOTALK TO YOU ABOUT, SIR. IT'S, UH, DONE. WELL, TALK TO ME.DON'T HOLD BACK. HOW DID IT COME OUT? SIR, DO YOU HAVEANY OTHER HOBBIESBESIDES ECONOMICS? NO. NONE AT ALL. YOU KNOW,A NICE STAMP COLLECTION CAN REALLY CHEER A GUY UP. I'LL HAVE TO TRY IT SOMETIME,BUT IN THE MEANWHILE, NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT TO METHAN ECONOMICS, AND SPECIFICALLYTHIS PAPER OF OURS. THEY HAVE STAMPS WITH HORSIESON THEM AND DUCKIES AND... THERE'S AN ELVIS ONE. ALEX, IS THERE SOMETHINGWRONG WITH OUR PAPER? SIR, I'M SORRY.I TABULATED THESE FIGURES. THEY DON'T SUPPORTOUR HYPOTHESIS. THE -- THE ENTIRE FOUNDATIONOF OUR THEORY, OUR WHOLE PREMISE,EVERYTHING WE WORKED FOR, IS INVALID. STAMP COLLECTION,YOU SAY? YOU CAN BOUNCE BACKFROM THIS. I MEAN, THINK OFALL THE FAMOUS PEOPLE WHO FAILED BEFORETHEY WENT ON TO GLORY. THINK OFTHE WRIGHT BROTHERS, SIR. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANYRUNNING JUMPS THEY TOOK BEFORE THEY REALIZED THEY NEEDEDTO BE IN A VEHICLE TO FLY? THIS IS QUITE A BLOW. I WAS HOPING THIS PAPERWOULD BOOST MY CAREER. SIR, YOUR CAREERDOESN'T NEED ANY BOOSTING. YOU'RE ONE OF THE MOST POPULARPROFESSORS ON THIS CAMPUS. YOU ASK ANYBODYIN THE ECONOMICS DEPARTMENT. THANKS, ALEX, BUT UNFORTUNATELY,TIMES HAVE CHANGED. IT'S NOT ENOUGH TO BE A POPULAR,GOOD TEACHER ANYMORE. UNIVERSITIES ARE LOOKINGFOR SUCCESSFUL RESEARCHERS. PUBLISHING IS THE KEY. IT'S PUBLISH OR PERISH. WELL, IT'S NOTMORE IMPORTANT THAN TEACHING. IF YOU DON'T MIND,I'D LIKE TO -- I'D LIKE TO BE ALONE, JUST MEAND MY INVALID HYPOTHESIS. I UNDERSTAND.[ CLEARS THROAT ] I'M ONLY SORRYTHAT I BROUGHT YOUR HOPES UP ABOUT THE WILSON AWARD. OH, COME ON, SIR. I DON'T CARE ABOUTTHE WILSON AWARD. I'M ONLY CONCERNEDABOUT YOU, YOUR POSITIONIN THE DEPARTMENT. I'M COMPLETELY OUTOF THE RUNNING, HUH? I'M AFRAID SO. THANKSFOR EVERYTHING, ALEX. THANK YOU. I'LL SEE YOU IN CLASS. YEAH. THANKS. DEAN ELLIS, LLOYD RHODES. LISTEN, I HAVE GREAT NEWS. MY PAPER IS COMPLETED, AND I THINKIT'S A BREAKTHROUGH. OH, YEAH. IT'LL -- IT'LLBE READY FOR PRESENTATION AT THE AWARDS CEREMONIES. OH, YES.IT'S DEFINITELY PUBLISHABLE. YEAH. THANKS.I'LL BE TALKING TO YOU. OKAY,HOW DOES THIS SOUND? IT'S MY OPENING REMARKSFOR TONIGHT'S AWARDS BANQUET. "MY FELLOW ECONOMISTS,DUE TO A GRAVE ERROR, "TONIGHT'S WILSON AWARD "WILL NOT BE GOINGTO ALEX P. KEATON. I SUGGEST EVERYONEGO HOME IMMEDIATELY." THIS CAMEFOR YOU, HONEY. YEAH. IT'S THE PROGRAM FORTONIGHT'S AWARDS BANQUET, WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEENTHE BIGGEST NIGHT OF PROFESSOR RHODES' CAREER. I DON'T EVENWANT TO LOOK AT IT. I MAY JUST CATCH THE FLUFOR THIS ONE. LISTEN TO THESE TOPICS -- "LABOR UNIONS IN BURMA. "THIRD WORLDMONETARY SPIRALS. "AN E-ECONOMIC ANALYSIS OF THE HOUSEHOLD'SINTEMPORAL --" WAIT A MINUTE.I KNOW THIS ONE. THIS IS THE ONE ABOUTTHE SKIRT AND THE BLOUSE. "THE ONE ABOUTTHE SKIRT AND THE BLOUSE"? WELL, THERE'S A SKIRTIN THE WINDOW -- WAIT A MINUTE.WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE.LET ME SEE THAT. I DON'T BELIEVE THIS. IT SA-- IT SAYS IN HERE THAT OUR PAPER IS SCHEDULEDTO BE PRESENTED TONIGHT. I THOUGHT YOU SAIDTHAT PAPER WAS INVALID. IT IS INVALID. THESE FIGURESHAVE ALL BEEN CHANGED. DO YOU REALIZEWHAT THIS MEANS? LET'S JUSTASSUME I DON'T. IT MEANS THAT EITHERTHIS IS A BIG MISTAKE, OR PROFESSOR RHODES... IT'S GOT TOBE A MISTAKE. WELL, ASK HIM WHAT STORETHAT SKIRT WAS IN. [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] COME IN. YOU BUSY, SIR? NO. I WAS JUST REVIEWING PROFESSOR MARSHALL'SLATEST BOOK -- "POST-INDUSTRIALMACROECONOMICS IN ASIA." HAVE YOU SEEN THE PROGRAMFOR TONIGHT'S DINNER? OH, YEAH. THOUGHT THEY DIDA LOVELY JOB. I WAS PARTICULARLY TAKENBY THE, UH, NEW TYPEFACE. YOU KNOW,I-IT SAYS IN THERE THAT WE'RE GONNA BE PRESENTINGOUR PAPER TONIGHT. I WAS GONNA CALL THE PRINTERS,TELL 'EM THEY MADE A MISTAKE. ALEX, IT'S NOTA MISTAKE. BUT THERE'S ABSOLUTELYNO SUPPORT FOR OUR THEORY. I MEAN, OUR PAPER ISCOMPLETELY INVALID. THE -- THE NUMBERSARE ALL FABRICATED. I ADMIT IT NEEDSA LITTLE WORK. WAIT A MINUTE. SIR, YOU CAN'TGO THROUGH WITH THIS. IT'S WRONG. YOU KNOW, IT'S MORALLYAND ETHICALLY WRONG. ALEX... YOU KNOW... I AM UNDER MORE PRESSURE THAN YOU CANPOSSIBLY IMAGINE. IF I DON'TPUBLISH THIS PAPER, THE UNIVERSITY ISGOING TO SQUEEZE ME OUT. LOOK, DON'T YOU KNOWYOUR STUDENTS LOOK UP TO YOU, NOT JUST FOR YOURKNOWLEDGE OF ECONOMICS AND YOUR ABILITYTO TEACH IT, BUT FOR THE WAYYOU MAKE US BELIEVE THAT HONESTY AND INTEGRITY ARE AN ECONOMIST'SMOST VALUABLE TOOLS. ALEX, GROW UP, WILL YOU? DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT TEACHING HAS BECOMEA-A BUSINESS LIKE ANY OTHER? PUBLICATIONBRINGS PRESTIGE. IT ATTRACTS ENDOWMENTS. IT ATTRACTS MONEY. NO ONE IS MORE INTERESTEDIN ATTRACTING MONEY THAN ME. I'VE SPENT MY WHOLE LIFETRYING TO ATTRACT MONEY. I'M GONNA NAMEMY KIDS AFTER MONEY. BUT I KNOWTHAT THIS IS WRONG. ALEX... YOU'RE A YOUNG MAN WITH A YOUNG MAN'SIDEALS, AND THAT'S EXACTLYAS IT SHOULD BE. I AM AN OLD MANWHO IS BEING PUSHED OUT BY A YOUNG BREEDOF TEACHER WHO WOULD RATHER SITBEHIND A WORD PROCESSOR THAN STANDIN FRONT OF A CLASS. I AM A DINOSAUR. AND YOU KNOWWHAT HAPPENED TO THEM. THEY DIDN'TPUBLISH ANY PAPERS, AND THEYBECAME EXTINCT. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? AM I SUPPOSED TO BLINDLY GOALONG WITH WHAT YOU'RE DOING, EVEN THOUGH I KNOWTHAT THIS PAPER IS A DELIBERATE,CALCULATED FRAUD? YOU HAVE THE POWERTO STOP ME. WE BOTH KNOW THAT. I HOPE YOU WON'T. I HOPE YOU'LL LOOKTHE OTHER WAY. AND BELIEVE ME, BEFORE LONG, THIS WILLALL BE FORGOTTEN. NOT BY ME. SURELY, THE INTERNATIONALMONETARY FUND CANNOT REFINANCE THIS DEBTWITHOUT GUARANTEES FROM THE WORLD BANKAND ESTABLISHED CREDITORS. THIS ISINCREDIBLY BORING. ALL THESE DULL,POMPOUS ECONOMISTS. IT'S LIKE BEINGIN A ROOM FULL OF ALEXs. I WISH I'D BEENSMART LIKE MALLORY AND FAKED THE FLU. COME ON. LET'S GO. OH, THIS ISTHE GREATEST. IT'S BETTERTHAN LAST YEAR. SOME OF MY FAVORITE ECONOMISTSARE HERE. ANY CHANCE FOR AUTOGRAPHS? SURE, I KNOW IT'S EXCITING. ALL THESE ECONOMISTSALL DRESSED UP, TALKING INTEREST RATESEVERYWHERE. SEE THOSELITTLE HORS D'OEUVRES SHAPED LIKETHE TREASURY DEPARTMENT? IT'S A MAGICAL NIGHT. AH, I KNOW. I KNOW.FOR SOME REASON, I CAN'T SEEM TO GETIN THE SPIRIT OF IT. FOR ONE THING, I HAVETO PRESENT SOMEBODY ELSE WITH THE WILSON AWARD, WHICH I SHOULD OBVIOUSLYBE PRESENTING TO MYSELF. AND THEN THERE'S THIS PROBLEMWITH PROFESSOR RHODES. I MEAN, MY --MY IDOL, MY MENTOR, A MAN I'VE PATTERNEDMY WHOLE LIFE AFTER IS GONNA GO UP THEREAND DECEIVE THIS AUDIENCE, AND I HAVE TOINTRODUCE HIM. WHAT AMI SUPPOSED TO SAY? "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,PLEASE WELCOME MY HERO, A REALLY BIG LIAR..." "...DR. LLOYD RHODES." YOU START OFFWITH A JOKE. SHE'S STARTIN' TO WIND UP.I BETTER GET UP THERE. AND THUS, THE INDUSTRIAL NATIONSMUST ESTABLISH THE VIABILITYOF I.M.F. LOANS TO DEVELOPINGTHIRD-WORLD NATIONS. THANK YOU. EACH YEAR, THE LELANDECONOMICS DEPARTMENT HONORS THE MOST OUTSTANDINGSTUDENT RESEARCHER WITH THE THEODORE F. WILSONAWARD. BESIDES THIS... HANDSOMECOMMEMORATIVE PLAQUE... ...THIS YEAR'S WINNERWILL RECEIVE A SEMESTER'S SCHOLARSHIP TO STUDY AT THE LONDONSCHOOL OF ECONOMICS. THE WINNER OF THIS YEAR'STHEODORE F. WILSON AWARD IS... WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT!ALEX KEATON! THANK YOU VERY MUCH.THANK YOU. UM, THE WINNEROF THIS YEAR'S WILSON AWARD IS EVE KIMBALL. OH, THAT'S AN "E."EVE KIMBALL. [ CLEARS THROAT ] I WOULD JUST LIKE TO THANKPROFESSOR MARSHALL FOR LETTING MEDO RESEARCH WITH HER, A-AND I --OKAY, THAT'S TIME, EVIE. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. BUT, ALEX, NOBODY ELSEHAD A TIME LIMIT. YOU'RE RIGHT.I'M SORRY, EVE. WE'RE JUST -- WE'RE RUNNINGA LITTLE BEHIND. [ SIGHS ] WHICH...BRINGS METO OUR FINAL PRESENTATION OF THE NIGHT. UH, A PAPER... TO BE PRESENTED BY DR. LLOYD RHODES... A MAN THAT I'VE WORKEDVERY CLOSELY WITH AND HAVE GOTTEN TO KNOWVERY WELL. YOU KNOW,I HAD A HARD TIME TONIGHT TRYIN' TO THINK OF, UH,WHAT TO SAY ABOUT DR. RHODES THAT WOULD SHED SOME LIGHTON WHO HE IS AND WHAT HE STANDS FOR. BUT I KNOW THIS. WHEN I THINK ABOUTWHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT TO ME HERE AT LELAND, MOST OF THE TIME,I THINK OF HIM. AND I KNOWI SHARE THAT FEELING WITH EVERY STUDENT WHO'SEVER HAD THE PRIVILEGE AND THE PLEASURE OF SITTINGIN HIS CLASSROOM. I ADMIRE THIS MAN TREMENDOUSLY. AND I KNOW WHEN I LEAVE LELAND, I'M GONNA LEAVEWITH A CONFIDENCE IN MYSELF AND A LOVE FOR ECONOMICSTHAT HE TAUGHT ME. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, UH, DR. LLOYD RHODES. THANK YOU, ALEX. THAT WAS A TEACHER'SDREAM COME TRUE. YOU KNOW, WHEN I FIRSTSTARTED TEACHING AT LELAND, THINGS WERE A LOT LESSCOMPLICATED. WE DIDN'T HAVEALL THESE AWARDS CEREMONIES AND PUBLISHING CONTRACTS. WE TAUGHT BECAUSE WE LOVED KIDS, AND WE WANTED TO SEE THEM GROW. NOW IT'S DIFFERENT. COLLEGE ISN'TFOR STUDENTS ANYMORE. IT'S FOR THE PROFESSORS. I GOT CAUGHT UPIN THE COMPETITION MYSELF. I CAME HERE INTENDING TO PRESENTA PAPER TONIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN... ...A PAPER THAT ISA COMPLETE FRAUD. [ MURMURING ] I WAS GOINGTO GO THROUGH WITH IT, BECAUSE I THOUGHT I HAD TOTO KEEP MY JOB, TO PROVE MY WORTHTO THE ADMINISTRATION. BUT IN THE FINAL ANALYSIS,THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT. I AM A TEACHER. AND IN A COLLEGE, THERE'S NOTHINGMORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT. SOMEONE REMINDED MEOF THAT TONIGHT. SO, UH,LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I DON'T HAVE A PAPERTO PRESENT TONIGHT, BUT WHAT I DO HAVE ISINFINITELY MORE IMPORTANT. I HAVE, I HOPE, THE ESTEEM, THE RESPECT, THE ADMIRATIONOF MY STUDENTS. AND FOR A TEACHER, THERE'S NOTHINGMORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT. THANK YOU. WELL, ALEX, THAT'S THAT.[ CLEARS THROAT ] NO AWARD FOR YOU, AND NO RESEARCHPRESENTATION FROM ME. TOUGH NIGHT, HUH? I WAS JUST PROUD TO BEYOUR STUDENT TONIGHT. THANKS, ALEX. I'M PROUD OF YOU. I KNOW --HUG UNDERSTOOD. HUG REQUIRED. LET'S STRIKEA NICE NATURAL POSE. OH, JUST A MINUTE.