[ THEME SONG PLAYS ] * I BET WE'VE BEEN TOGETHERFOR A MILLION YEARS * * AND I'LL BET WE'LL BE TOGETHERFOR A MILLION MORE * * OH, IT'S LIKEI STARTED BREATHING * * ON THE NIGHT WE KISSED * AND I CAN'T REMEMBERWHAT I EVER DID BEFORE * * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * AND THEREAIN'T NO NOTHIN' * * WE CAN'T LOVEEACH OTHER THROUGH * * OOH-HOO * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * SHA-LA-LA-LA STEVEN, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RESTILL WORKING ON OUR BUDGET. ELYSE, I'M TELLING YOU,WE HAVE TO TAKE SOME DRASTIC ACTIONAROUND HERE. THERE'S BEEN A LOTOF FREEWHEELING, EXTRAVAGANT SPENDINGBY EVERY MEMBER OF THIS FAMILY, AND IT'S GOT TO STOP. WELL, HONEY, I'VE TALKEDTO THE KIDS ABOUT IT. I MEAN, I KNOW EVERYBODY'SMAKING AN EFFORT. DID WE REALLY NEED THIS? I'M SORRY, STEVEN. I SAW IT IN THE WINDOW.I JUST HAD TO HAVE IT. WHAT IS THIS? I FOUND IT IN THE SHOWER. THAT'S GENERIC-BRANDSHAMPOO. [ SCREAMS ] WHAT HAPPENEDTO MY REGULAR SHAMPOO? WE WON'T BE USINGTHAT KIND ANYMORE. WE'RE TRYING TO CUT BACKAND ELIMINATE THESE KINDSOF NEEDLESS EXPENSES. NO. NO, NO. DAD, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. MY HAIR IS USED TOHERBAL SHAMPOO. THERE'SNO TURNING BACK NOW. [ WHISTLES ] HEY, LISTEN, YOU MINDIF I USE THE KITCHEN NOW? I GOT SOMEONE COMING OVERTO, UH, STUDY WITH ME.OH. UH, SURE. HERE, LET ME MOVE SOME OF THISSTUFF OUT OF YOUR WAY. WHOA, THAT'S A NICEADDING MACHINE, DAD. WE OUGHT TO RUSH THAT DOWNTO THE BUSINESS MUSEUM. WHO'S COMING OVER? OH, IT'S, UH, JUST -- JUST SOMEONE TO, UH,STUDY WITH ME. WHO? HE'S A... [ COUGHS ]...TUTOR. A [COUGHS] TUTOR? WHY DO YOU NEEDA [COUGHS] TUTOR? IT'S A TUTOR, ALL RIGHT?HE'S A TUTOR. AND THE REASONTHAT I NEED HIM IS BECAUSE MY AVERAGE INADVANCED NON-EUCLIDEAN GEOMETRY HAS SLIPPED TO AN 89. I GOT TO GET THAT BACK UPTO A 90. WELL, I-I'M SURPRISED,ALEX. I MEAN, YOU'VE NEVER NEEDEDA [COUGHS] TUTOR BEFORE. YEAH, WELL, I'VE NEVERHAD THIS KIND OF MATH BEFORE. IT -- IT'S ABSTRACT.IT'S INEXACT. IT'S PHILOSOPHICAL. IT'S EVERYTHING I HATE. DID YOU FINDA GOOD TUTOR? I DON'T KNOW.I HAVEN'T MET HIM YET. BUT PROFESSOR JENKINSRECOMMENDED HIM. HIS NAME IS EUGENE FORBES, AND HE'S THE TOPMATHEMATICS SCHOLAR AT LELAND. WELL, THERE'S PLENTYTO SNACK ON. THERE'S SOME MILK IN THE FRIDGE,AND I GOT SOME NEW COOKIES. AH. THESE LOOK LIKEPRETTY FANCY COOKIES, ELYSE. STEVEN... [ CHUCKLES ] DON'T LET HIM EATTOO MANY. MOM, EUGENE FORBES IS A GRADUATE STUDENTIN MATHEMATICS. HE'S A GENIUS. YOU DON'T GIVE COOKIESTO A GENIUS. [ KNOCK AT DOOR ] [ WHISTLES ] HELLO.I'M EUGENE FORBES. AND IF YOU'RE ALEX KEATON,I BELIEVE I'M YOUR TUTOR. [ CHUCKLES SOFTLY ] CAN I -- CAN I ASK YOUONE QUESTION? I'M 13 1/2. COOKIE? OKAY, SO, THEN, ANGLE DCAMUST THEREFORE BE CONGRUENT TO ANGLE THETA. HOW'S THAT? I'M AFRAID NOT. ALEX, YOU'RE STILL CLINGINGTO EUCLIDEAN GEOMETRY. I-I KNOW. I-I CLING.I DO THAT. HIGHER GEOMETRYIS A DIFFERENT ANIMAL. YOU HAVE TO BE WILLINGTO EMBRACE THE ABSTRACT. LET GOOF RATIONAL THOUGHT. I DON'T WANT TO LET GOOF RATIONAL THOUGHT. I-I HAPPEN TO LIKERATIONAL THOUGHT. MY SISTER MALLORYLET GO OF RATIONAL THOUGHT. AND SHE NEVER GOT IT BACK. ALEX,PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER. NOW...ERASE YOUR BOO-BOO. I KNOW HOW TO ERASE,EUGENE. I WASA NATIONAL MERIT SCHOLAR. I DEFINITELY SENSE SOMEHOSTILITY EMANATING FROM YOU. PERHAPS YOU'D BE HAPPIERWITH SOMEONE OLDER... SOMEONE NOT AS SMART. WAIT A MINUTE, EUGENE.WAIT -- WAIT. STAY. I'M SORRY, OKAY?I-I NEED YOU. PROFESSOR JENKINSTOLD ME YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HELP MEUNDERSTAND THIS STUFF. WELL, DON'T THINK IT'S EASYFOR ME, EITHER, ALEX. I'VE HAD TO DEAL WITH THEPRESSURE OF BEING A GENIUS MY WHOLE LIFE. ME TOO. I WAS DOING LONG DIVISIONIN NURSERY SCHOOL. SAME HERE. AND I SHOULD HAVEMY DOCTORATE BY THE TIME I'M 17. I COULD HAVE DONE THAT... IF I HADN'T GONE TO CAMPTHAT SUMMER. I NEVER WENT TO CAMP, EXCEPT FOR MATH CAMP. SO, WHAT DO YOU DOWHEN YOU'RE NOT IN SCHOOL? I GIVE LECTURES,RUN SYMPOSIUMS, YOU KNOW. WELL, THAT DOESN'T LEAVE TIMEFOR MUCH ELSE. I MEAN, WHAT ABOUT,UH, LITTLE LEAGUE? MODEL AIRPLANES?GIRLS? I DON'T GET TO MEET MANY GIRLSMY AGE IN COLLEGE. THE TRUTH IS --IS I DON'T GET TO MEET ANY. I'M LONELY, ALEX. IN FACT, FOR ALLOF MY ASTOUNDING INTELLIGENCE AND ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENT, I'D TRADE IT ALLRIGHT THIS MINUTE FOR A DATE -- JUST ONE DATE. YEAH, I GUESS -- GUESSIT MUST BE DIFFICULT FOR YOU. YOU KNOW, A COMPANION. A CONFIDANTE. A FRIEND. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. A CHICK IN HOT PANTS. EUGENE... PLEASE. SORRY, ALEX,A MOMENTARY LAPSE. WELL, ENOUGH OF THAT. [ CLEARS THROAT ]LET'S GET BACK TO WORK.RIGHT. HEY.HI. OH, YEAH, UH, JENNIFER,THIS IS EUGENE. EUGENE, JENNIFER. ENCHANTED, MY DEAR. YEAH...RIGHT. JENNIFER,MAY I BE BRUTALLY FRANK? SURE. YOU'VE JUST TOUCHEDMY SOUL. YUCK! OH, I HAVE TWOABSOLUTELY SUPERLATIVE SEATS TO "MADAME BUTTERFLY"ON SUNDAY. IT'S MY FAVORITE OPERA. WOULD YOU BE SO GRACIOUSAS TO ACCOMPANY ME? IS HE PUTTING ME ON? AFRAID NOT. NO, THANKS. OKAY? [ DOOR OPENS ] [ DOOR CLOSES ] EUGENE... EUGENE, DO YOU MIND?I'M PAYING YOU BY THE HOUR. WHAT IS TIME? I JUST MET THE MOTHEROF MY CHILDREN. YOU AND EUGENEFINISHED STUDYING ALREADY? WE'RE NOT STUDYING, DAD. WE HAVEN'T STUDIEDFOR A WEEK. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? EUGENE -- HE'S LOST. HE -- HE'S CONVINCEDTHAT HE'S IN LOVE WITH JENNIFER, AND I CAN'T GET HIMTO CONCENTRATE ON ANYTHING ELSE. YOU KNOW, IF THIS KEEPS UP,THERE GOES THE POINT. THE POINT? THE POINT.THE POINT I NEED FOR MY "A." I MEAN, IT'S GOINGRIGHT OUT THE WINDOW BECAUSEMR. GEOMETRY IN HERE HAS TURNED INTOA JENNIFER-CRAZED LUNATIC. WELL, AT LEAST HE'S FOUNDA COMPASSIONATE FRIEND IN YOU, ALEX. OH, WAIT A MINUTE. 87 CENTSFOR SAFETY PINS. WHAT'S NEXT, A LEARJET? ELYSE! [ SIGHS ] EUGENE, LOOK, PLEASE, LET'S GO BACK IN THEREAND STUDY, OKAY? THE HOUR'S ALMOST UP. WEHAVEN'T ACCOMPLISHED ANYTHING. I CAN'T HELP IT, ALEX.I'M NOT MYSELF. I'M OBSESSED WITH HER. YEAH, WELL, YOU GOT TOSNAP OUT OF IT. AW... OH, UH, JENNIFER,I GOT YOU SOMETHING. WHAT IS IT? AN X-RAY.OF MY BRAIN. HEY, THAT'S A NICE ONE. IT'S MY GOOD SIDE. THIS IS THE MOST DISGUSTINGTHING I'VE EVER SEEN. I WANT YOU TOHAVE IT. NO, THANKS. UH, JENNIFER... WILL YOU RECONSIDERGOING OUT WITH ME? EUGENE, IT'S NOTHINGPERSONAL, BUT, NO. VERY WELL. SORRY, ALEX.I CAN'T GO ON. I WON'T CHARGE YOUFOR THIS SESSION. [ DOOR CLOSES ] WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY. HE'S A BROKEN MAN. ALEX, IT'S NOT MY FAULT. WELL, CAN'T YOU AT LEASTHUMOR HIM? ONE DATE? NO, ALEX. COME ON. LOOK, HE, UH, HE GAVE YOUTHIS NICE X-RAY AND EVERYTHING. YOU KNOW, FOR ALL YOU KNOW,YOU COULD END UP LIKING EUGENE. HE'S A VERY NICE GUYONCE YOU SEE WHAT'S INSIDE. I ALREADY KNOWWHAT'S INSIDE! LOOK, UNTIL YOU GO OUT WITH HIM,HE'S NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE,INCLUDING MY "A." YOU KNOW, I COULD ACTUALLY GETA "B" IN MATH? COULD YOU HONESTLY LIVEWITH THAT ON YOUR CONSCIENCE? I'M WILLING TO TRY. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.OKAY, JENNIFER. ALL RIGHT. I'VE TRIED TO APPEALTO YOUR SENSE OF COMPASSION. I HAVE NO OTHER OPTION. $10.$20. $12.$17. $14.50.$15.75. $15.25.$15.50. DONE. JENNIFER, I REMEMBER WHENI COULD BUY YOU FOR 10 BUCKS. [ DOORBELL RINGS ] HI, ELLEN.HI. BOY, YOU LOOK GREATIN THAT OUTFIT.THANKS. YOU WOULDN'T SAY WHERE WE WEREGOING OR WHAT WE WERE DOING. YOU JUST SAID, "WEAR SOMETHING."SO I DID. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.I'LL GIVE YOU THE RUNDOWN. UH, WE'RE, UH, DOUBLE-DATINGWITH JENNIFER AND THIS GRADUATE STUDENTNAMED EUGENE, WHO'S 13 YEARS OLDAND MY MATH TUTOR, AND HE'S IN LOVE WITH JENNIFER,BUT SHE HATES HIM, SO I BRIBED HER TO DO THISSO I COULD GET MY "A." OKAY. I'M READY. OH, HI, ELLEN.Ellen: HI. ALEX, UH, SOMETHINGVERY STRANGE IS GOING ON, AND -- AND WE'RE KIND OFWONDERING ABOUT IT. OH? WHAT'S THAT, MOM? WELL, IT'S THIS DATE THATJENNIFER'S GOING ON WITH EUGENE. SHE NEVER LIKED HIM BEFORE. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEAWHAT'S, UH, TURNED HER AROUND? GEE, NO IDEA. SORRY.WISH I COULD HAVE HELPED. OH, UH, WE WERE SUREYOU WOULD KNOW, SINCE HER GOING OUTON THIS DATE PROBABLY HELPS YOU OUTQUITE A BIT. DON'T KNOW, MOM. MAYBE ELLEN KNOWS.YOU KNOW, HON? NO. HOW WOULD I KNOW? DARN. WHO KNOWS? MAYBESHE'S ATTRACTED TO HIM. NO. MAYBE SHE THINKSSHE CAN LEARN FROM HIM. I DON'T THINK SO. NO. DARN. I WISH I KNEW. YOU SURE YOU DON'T KNOW,ELLEN?NO. ALL RIGHT.I BRIBED HER, OKAY? [ DOORBELL RINGS ] GOOD EVENING.HEY, EUGENE. UH, EUGENE,THIS IS ELLEN REED. ELLEN, EUGENE. HELLO.AND YOU KNOWMY MOM AND DAD.HI. NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.HI, EUGENE. WELL,WHAT DO YOU THINK? JENNIFER,YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. HONEY,YOU REALLY DO. YOU'RE A VISION. JENNIFER,A DEAL IS A DEAL. [ DOOR OPENS ] WELL,WE'D BETTER GET GOING. WELL, WHERE ARE YOUOFF TO? WELL, THERE'S GOING TO BEA LITTLE SHINDIG DOWN AT THE FACULTY CLUB. SOME OF THE TEACHING ASSISTANTSARE THROWING A PARTY FOR PROFESSOR JENKINS. IT'S THE 20th ANNIVERSARYOF HIS TENURE. OOH, JEN,THAT SOUNDS GREAT. [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] THIS IS INCREDIBLE. ALL OF THE MASSIVE INTELLECTSOF THE LELAND FACULTY ARE GATHERED TOGETHERIN THE SAME ROOM. THE COMBINED BRAINPOWERIN THIS ROOM IS STAGGERING. MAYBE WE SHOULD GET SOME X-RAYSOF THESE GUYS. JENNIFER,WILL YOU BEHAVE YOURSELF? THIS DATEHAS TO GO WELL. NEED I REMIND YOU THATTHAT CHECK IS POST-DATED? WELL, UH,SHALL WE MINGLE? YEAH, YEAH. LISTEN, UH, MINGLEME OVER TO PROFESSOR JENKINS. WELL, EUGENE.I AM SO GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT. THANK YOU, WALTER.AND I'D LIKE TO PRESENT TO YOU JENNIFER KEATON,THE WOMAN IN MY LIFE. OH.ENCHANTED, MY DEAR. AND I BELIEVE YOU KNOWHER BROTHER, ALEX. YES, YES, YES.WE'VE MET MANY TIMES. NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. WHO'D YOU SAY HE WAS? ALEX KEATON. UH, YEAH, I, UH --I SIT IN THE FRONT ROW OF YOURADVANCED GEOMETRY CLASS. OH, YES. THE POINT. IF YOU'LL EXCUSE US,WALTER, I'D LIKE TO SHOW OFFMY BETTER HALF. [ BOTH CHUCKLE ] GO TO IT, MY BOY.GO TO IT. [ CHUCKLES ][ CLEARS THROAT ] SO, I...EXCUSE ME. EUGENE, I AM NOTYOUR BETTER HALF AND I AM NOT THE WOMANIN YOUR LIFE. SO PLEASE INTRODUCE MEIN A NORMAL WAY. WELL, CERTAINLY. OH, RONALD, EUNICE. THIS IS,UH, JENNIFER, THE OLD BALL AND CHAIN. SO, UH, EUGENE,HAVE YOU READ TESTRIK'S PAPER ON THE MEANING OF MAN'SEXISTENCE IN THE UNIVERSE? AH, YES,THAT'S HEADY STUFF. DON'T YOU AGREE,DUMPLING? OH, I DON'T KNOW,MUFFIN HEAD. THE LAST BOOK I READ WAS"NANCY DREW, MOUNTAIN NURSE." "MOUNTAIN NURSE." ISN'T SHE PRICELESS?[ CHUCKLES ] SUCH A FRESH SENSEOF HUMOR. JENNIFER,YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A CHILD. EUGENE, I AM A CHILD. WELL, YOU'RE EMBARRASSING MEIN FRONT OF MY PEERS. EUGENE, LISTEN, I'M SORRY.I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN. THIS IS MY FIRSTTENURE PARTY. SO, MASTER KEATON... HOW ARE YOU AND EUGENEGETTING ALONG? UH, WELL I -- I'D -- I'D SAY WE'RE AS CLOSEAS TWO SIDES OF AN ISOSCELES TRIANGLE. [ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY ] [ CLEARS THROAT ] HE JUST MEANT THAT,YOU KNOW, THE TRIANGLEWITH THE TWO EQUAL... THAT HE AND EUGENEWERE... WHAT DID YOU MEAN, ALEX? I, UH --I JUST MEANT WE'RE, UH -- WE'RE -- WE'RE GETTINGALONG FINE. WELL, GOOD.I-I HOPE IT WORKS OUT. WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH,WALTER. PROFESSOR WALTER. PROFESSOR JENKINS. SIR. YOUR, UH --YOUR GEOMETRIC HIGHNESS. AH, HA HA.JENNIFER, EUGENE. ARE YOU ENJOYINGYOURSELVES? OH, IT'S FABULOUS,WALTER. A SPLENDID AFFAIR.AH. YEAH, I THINKIT'S REALLY NEAT. OH.[ CHUCKLES ] WHAT SHE MEANS ISIT'S FABULOUS, WALTER. A SPLENDID AFFAIR. NO, I DON'T MEAN THAT. UH, WHY DO YOU KEEP CORRECTINGEVERYTHING I SAY? BECAUSE... YOU'RE EMBARRASSING MEWITH THIS INFANTILE BEHAVIOR. EUGENE, LISTEN, I'M -- I'M JUSTTRYING TO MAKE CONVERSATION. THAT'S A POOR EXCUSEFOR CONVERSATION. "IT'S NEAT."I HAVEN'T HEARD THAT SINCE I WAS TEACHINGHIGH SCHOOL. EUGENE, TAKE IT EASY.NO, I WON'T TAKE IT EASY. THIS EVENINGIS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME, AND SHE'S ACTING SO IMMATURE --IT JUST MAKES ME MAD! I HATE IT! I HATE IT!I HATE IT! EUGENE, LISTEN --NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. I-I DON'T WANT TOHEAR IT.EUGENE... [ HUMS ] I CAN'T HEAR YOU!I CAN'T HEAR YOU! WHO-O-O-A! EUGENE, WAIT... EUGENE! EUGENE! EUGENE, WAIT.EUGENE, EUGENE.COME BACK. THESE THREE GRAPHSSHOW THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN WHATTHIS FAMILY IS EARNING AND WHAT IT'S SPENDING. THESE ARE LOVELY, STEVEN.YOU HAVE A WAY WITH GRAPHS. WELL, THANK YOU, DEAR.YOU HAVE A WAY WITH WORDS. DAD, CAN WE GET ONWITH THIS, PLEASE? THE STORES CLOSE AT 9:00, AND I'D LIKE TO DOSOME SHOPPING. MALLORY, YOUR DADHAS PUT A LOT OF TIME AND EFFORT INTO THESE GRAPHS. THE LEAST WE CAN DOIS HEAR HIM OUT. GET ON WITH IT, STEVEN. WHAT'S THERETO GET ON WITH? THESE GRAPHS SPEAKFOR THEMSELVES. LOOK AT THEM. BUT WAIT A MINUTE.I THINK THERE'S A PROBLEM HERE. WHAT'S THAT? WELL, ACCORDINGTO THE LINE GRAPH, WE'RE $200 BEHINDEACH MONTH. MM-HMM. BUT ACCORDING TO THE PIE GRAPH, WE -- WE BREAK EVEN EACH MONTH. UH, THAT'S TRUE. ACCORDING TO THE BAR GRAPH, WE ARE $300 AHEAD EACH MONTH. WHAT'S YOUR POINT, ELYSE? WHICH ONE'S RIGHT? WELL, WAIT A MINUTE, MOM.UM... I THINK IN THIS SITUATION,THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG. I THINK IT'S UPTO EACH INDIVIDUAL TO DECIDEWHAT IS RIGHT. AND PERSONALLY,I-I THINK WE'RE AHEAD. SO, UH,I'M GONNA GO SHOPPING. DON'T WORRY, HONEY. IF WE GO BROKE,WE GO BROKE. THE IMPORTANT THING IS, HEY, THIS HAS KEPT YOU BUSYFOR THREE WEEKS. FORGET IT, JENNIFER.I'M NOT PAYING. NO WAY. WHY NOT, ALEX?I DID MY PART. WHAT HAPPENEDWASN'T MY FAULT. THE, UH,DATE DIDN'T GO WELL? EUGENE HADA TEMPER TANTRUM. OH, DAD,IT WAS A NIGHTMARE. SORRY YOU MISSED IT. [ DOORBELL RINGS ] GOOD EVENING. EUGENE, UH,PLEASE COME IN. SIT DOWN AND MAKE YOURSELFCOMFORTABLE. I'M AFRAID I CAN'T DO THAT.I'M TERRIBLY UPSET. NOTHING WENT RIGHTTONIGHT. I, UH -- I SAW THAT X-RAYYOU GAVE TO JENNIFER. VERY BECOMING. YES. DO YOU HAVEANY WALLET-SIZED? I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE,BUT IS -- IS JENNIFER HERE? I NEED TO SPEAKWITH HER.UH, OF COURSE.WE'LL GET HER. STEVEN, UM... HEY, EUGENE.YOU ALL RIGHT? NO, I'M NOT ALL RIGHT. I'M EMBARRASSED, HUMILIATED,AND ASHAMED. BUT THAT'S IT, RIGHT? I MEAN,IT'S NOTHING SERIOUS. I-I-I JUST HATE TO THINKTHAT WHAT HAPPENED TONIGHT MAY HAVE AFFECTED YOUR BRAININ ANY WAY. IT HASN'T. MAYBE WE CAN GETANOTHER X-RAY. I'M OKAY, ALEX. SO YOU'LL STILL BE ABLE TO TUTORME TO HELP ME GET MY "A." ALEX, FORGETABOUT YOUR "A"! EUGENE IS OBVIOUSLY UPSET. HE NEEDS A FRIENDRIGHT NOW. ALL RIGHT.YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT. I-I SHOULDN'T BE THINKINGABOUT MY GRADES. EUGENE, EVERYTHING'SGONNA BE ALL RIGHT. YOU'RE A SWELL KID. NOW, QUICK,IN HYPERBOLIC SPACE, THE UPPER BASE ANGLESOF ANY QUADRILATERAL ARE...? ACUTE.THAT'S MY BOY! HE'S STILL GOT IT. ALL RIGHT, NOW, DON'T SWEATTHIS JENNIFER THING, OKAY? SHE'S TOO YOUNG FOR YOU,ANYWAY. UH, SEE YOU TOMORROW,SAME TIME? YOU AREQUITE A HUMANITARIAN, ALEX. WHAT?! HE IS A YOUNG BOY. HE'S CONFUSED.HE'S UPSET. HE LOOKS UP TO YOU. IS THAT THE BESTYOU CAN DO FOR HIM? [ SIGHS ] ALL RIGHT. [ CLEARS THROAT ] EUGENE... I, UH...I-I-I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT, UH... What? YOU CAREABOUT HIS FEELINGS. ...THAT I CAREABOUT YOUR FEELINGS. I MEAN THAT. SO, UH, YOU... YOU JUST... YOU JUST GET SOME SLEEP. I'M DRAINED.I C-- I'M SORRY. I MADE A COMPLETE FOOLOUT OF MYSELF. THAT'S THE FIRST TIMEI'VE SEEN THAT SIDE OF YOU. I LIKED IT. YOU LIKED IT? WELL, THAT'S THE FIRST TIMEI'VE SEEN YOU ACT LIKE A KID FOR ONCE. EUGENE... YOU MAY BE SMART, BUT YOU'RE NOT A GROWNUP. YOU KNOW, UNDERNEATH THAT BRAIN,YOU'RE REALLY A NICE BOY. THANK YOU FOR LOOKING. AND -- AND I THINK THAT YOU AREAN EXTREMELY STUNNING AND VIVACIOUS... I THINKYOU'RE REALLY NEAT, TOO. DO YOU WANT TO GETA SODA? YEAH! YEAH, YEAH! THAT -- THAT'LL BE FUN. HEY, HEY,WHAT'S GOING ON? JENNIFER AND IARE GONNA GO GET A SODA. WELL, I-I THINKTHAT'S GREAT. I MEAN, I'M GLADYOU TWO HIT IT OFF. YOU GO OUT.YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME. EUGENE, QUICK --GOTTLIEB'S THEOREM.