* I BET WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER
* FOR A MILLION YEARS
* AND I BET WE'LL BE TOGETHER
* FOR A MILLION MORE
* OH, IT'S LIKE I STARTED BREATHING *
* ON THE NIGHT WE KISSED
* AND I CAN'T REMEMBER
* WHAT I EVER DID BEFORE
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US
* AND THERE AIN'T NO NOTHING
* WE CAN'T LOVE EACH OTHER THROUGH *
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US
* SHA LA LA LA *
WHO'S THAT?
MY MOMMY.
AND WHO'S THAT PRETTY GIRL?
JENNIFER, MY SISTER.
WHO'S THAT?
ALEX.
WHO IS ALEX?
ALEX IS KING.
THERE YOU GO, ANDY.
WHAT YOU MUST HAVE GONE THROUGH
TO GET HIM TO SAY THAT.
WHY CAN'T YOU ACCEPT IT?
THAT'S ANDREW'S ASSESSMENT OF ME.
IT MAY CHANGE, BUT FOR NOW...
ALEX IS KING.
MALLORY, I EXPECTED YOU HERE AN HOUR AGO.
I HAD A CONFERENCE WITH ONE OF MY PROFESSORS.
YOU HAVE PROFESSORS AT GRANT COLLEGE?
I THOUGHT THEY JUST HAD INSTRUCTIONAL RECORDS.
I'VE GOT THREE PAPERS DUE NEXT WEEK
AND A MULTIMEDIA PRESENTATION TO GIVE.
I'LL NEVER GET THROUGH ALL THIS.
YOU'RE BABYSITTING ANDREW TONIGHT, REMEMBER?
I REMEMBER. NICK'S COMING OVER SOON.
GREAT. NOW YOU HAVE TWO PEOPLE TO BABYSIT.
ALEX, WHEN YOU TAKE A PHONE MESSAGE,
WRITE DOWN WHO CALLED, WHEN, AND WHAT IT WAS ABOUT.
I DID. LOOK.
"SOMEBODY DUMB CALLED..."
"SOMETIME TODAY,
ABOUT SOMETHING TRIVIAL."
THIS COULD BE ANY ONE OF MY FRIENDS,
AND YOU KNOW IT.
MALLORY, IT WAS YOUR TURN TO DO THE LAUNDRY.
I CAN'T DO ALL OF YOUR CHORES.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE PRESSURE I'M UNDER.
I'VE GOT ALL THESE NEW RESPONSIBILITIES.
I'M NOT THE HIGH SCHOOL MALLORY ANYMORE.
THE COLLEGE MALLORY DOESN'T HAVE TIME FOR CHORES.
I LIKE THE HIGH SCHOOL MALLORY BETTER.
I THINK THE WHOLE LINE SHOULD BE DISCONTINUED.
WE KNOW YOU'RE GOING THROUGH A DIFFICULT PERIOD,
BUT EVERYONE WILL HAVE TO MAKE ADJUSTMENTS.
I'M WORKING VERY HARD NOW,
AND IF PEOPLE, AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE,
WOULD GET OFF MY CASE FOR EVERY LITTLE THING,
EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.
MALLORY, IS IT NECESSARY
FOR YOU TO USE MY RAZOR?
YOU DON'T WANT ME TO SHAVE MY LEGS.
I'LL JUST COMPLETELY STOP SHAVING.
WILL THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY?
I DON'T THINK I COULD BE HAPPIER THAN THIS.
I GET HOME AND GET GRIEF.
YOU'RE ALL AGAINST ME.
HI, MALLY.
ANDREW'S THE ONLY ONE WHO LOVES ME.
YEAH, BUT HIS SKULL
HASN'T COMPLETELY HARDENED YET.
WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU, MALLORY?
ME? NOTHING'S GOTTEN INTO ME.
I'M TIRED OF BEING PICKED ON.
NO MATTER WHAT I DO,
SOMEBODY'S ALWAYS CRITICIZING ME.
NOBODY PICKS ON JENNIFER,
AND NOBODY PICKS ON ALEX.
I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHY.
ALEX IS KING.
ANDY'S ALMOST ASLEEP.
HE'S BEEN SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME WITH ALEX.
HE'S SLEEPING IN A SUIT AND TIE.
YOU'RE A GOOD ROLE MODEL FOR HIM.
I LIKE KIDS. THEY'RE SO CHILDISH.
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
I'VE BEEN ALONE IN THE HOUSE FOR A MONTH.
YOU WANT ME TO GO?
NO. I WISH IT WAS JUST YOU AND ME ALL THE TIME.
IT'S SO NICE WHEN WE'RE ALONE.
YOU DON'T ASK ME TO DO MY HOMEWORK
OR DO THE LAUNDRY.
I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO THINK WHEN I'M AROUND YOU.
I KNOW. ISN'T IT GREAT?
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT IF THIS WAS OUR PLACE?
WE COULD DECORATE IT THE WAY WE WANT TO.
YOUR SCULPTURES BY THE FIREPLACE,
MY FASHION MAGAZINES ON THE COFFEE TABLE.
AND A CAN OF MOTOR OIL ON THE MANTEL,
PLACED JUST SO.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M STARTING TO THINK?
THE MOTOR OIL WOULD GO BETTER ON THE TABLE?
NO.
I'M STARTING TO THINK WE SHOULD GET MARRIED.
BOY, WAS I WAY OFF.
I'M SERIOUS, NICK. LET'S GET MARRIED.
W-W-WAIT JUST A MINUTE HERE.
YOU WANT TO MARRY ME?
I MEAN IT.
THIS IS GREAT.
I NEVER DREAMT IT WOULD HAPPEN THIS WAY.
USUALLY THE GUY ASKS, RIGHT?
NICK, THIS MAKES PERFECT SENSE.
WE'LL HAVE OUR OWN PLACE.
WE WON'T DO LAUNDRY FOR WEEKS IF WE DON'T WANT TO.
IN THAT CASE, I ACCEPT.
OUR LIVES TOGETHER WILL BE PERFECT.
I WON'T HAVE THESE PETTY PROBLEMS
I HAVE NOW.
MALLORY...
I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
ALL RIGHT.
BREAK IT UP, WILL YOU?
HIGHER PRIMATE COMING THROUGH.
SHOULD WE TELL HIM?
TELL HIM WHAT?
YOU KNOW.
OH, ABOUT GETTING MARRIED. YEAH.
WHAT?
I'M, I...
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
THAT'S RIGHT, ALEX.
NICK AND I ARE GOING TO GET MARRIED.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO.
NO. YOU TWO CAN'T GET MARRIED.
YOU CAN'T EVEN FEED YOURSELVES.
HEY, UH...
LITTLE BROTHER-IN-LAW,
IT'S A DELIGHT TO JOIN THIS FAMILY.
NO, NICK. THIS FAMILY IS QUITE FULL.
TRY THE HANDLEMANS NEXT DOOR.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE THE FIRST TO KNOW, ALEX.
I MEAN IT. COME ON!
GOD! YOU TWO ALONE?
WHO'S GOING TO TAKE CARE OF YOU?
WHO'S GOING TO PAY THE RENT?
WHO'S GOING TO WORK THE APPLIANCES?
ALEX, YOU'RE NOT THINKING.
I'M GOING TO MOVE OUT OF THIS HOUSE.
I'M TORN.
I ADMIT IT, I'M TORN.
OH, NO! THAT'S NOT WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.
YOU TWO WILL GET MARRIED,
AND YOU BOTH WILL LIVE IN THIS HOUSE.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO THIS TO ME.
WHY DOES EVERYTHING I DO INVOLVE YOU?
BECAUSE I AM THE CENTER OF YOUR UNIVERSE.
NOT ANYMORE, ALEX, I'M GETTING OUT.
WHAT'S ALL THAT NOISE?
ANDREW, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS.
MALLORY AND NICK ARE GETTING MARRIED.
HEY!
* HMM HMM
* HMM *
* I LOVE YOU
* MALLORY
* I LOVE YOU
* AND YOU LOVE ME
* I CAN'T BELIEVE
* THAT YOU PROPOSED TO ME *
* MARRY ME
* MALLORY
* M-- * AHEM.
VERY GOOD.
DO YOU KNOW THIS ONE?
* IF YOU MARRY MY SISTER
* MY FATHER'S GOING TO KILL YOU **
HI, FIANCE.
ALL RIGHT. THIS HAS GOT TO STOP.
YOU GOT TO READ THIS ARTICLE.
WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT? LET ME READ IT TO YOU.
"80% OF ALL MARRIAGES BETWEEN A M-MAN
"AND A WOMAN
UNDER THE AGE OF 21 END IN DIVORCE."
SO WE GOT A 50-50 CHANCE, RIGHT?
IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
IT IS MY BUSINESS.
I'M COMING BACK WITH MORE STATISTICS.
DON'T GET MARRIED UNTIL I RETURN.
OH, NICK. THAT'S THEM. WE HAVE TO TELL THEM.
YOUR PARENTS AND I HAVE COME A LONG WAY.
I'LL ASK FOR THEIR PERMISSION TO MARRY YOU.
IF YOU'RE NERVOUS, I'LL DO IT.
YOU ASKED ME TO MARRY YOU,
LET ME ASK THEM FOR PERMISSION.
OK.
HI.
HEY.
UH, MR. KEATON, MRS. KEATON, UH...
THERE'S SOMETHING I'D LIKE TO ASK YOU,
IF YOU HAVE A MOMENT, THAT IS.
DO YOU HAVE A MOMENT, DEAR?
I DO, DEAR.
WE DO. WHAT IS IT?
WELL, UH, SIR, AND MA'AM,
WHAT I'D LIKE TO TELL YOU
IS THAT MALLORY AND I
WOULD LIKE TO GET M-MAHLKINNED.
MALLORY AND YOU WOULD LIKE TO GET M-MAHLKINNED?
I DON'T SEE WHY NOT.
LET ME ASK YOU-- WHAT LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING?
UH, MR. KEATON.
MRS. KEATON.
MALLORY AND I
WOULD LIKE TO GET MARRIED.
MY WIFE AND I ARE GOING TO STEP OUT OF THIS ROOM,
AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO STEP BACK IN,
AND YOU ARE GOING TO TELL US SOMETHING ELSE.
ELYSE.
NICK AND I WOULD LIKE TO GET MARRIED.
WHO'S THIS, ANDY?
MALLORY, MY SISTER.
AND WHO'S THIS?
NICK...
MY BROTHER-IN-LAW.
I DON'T SEE WHY YOU'RE UPSET.
THEY'RE YOUNG. THEY'RE IN LOVE.
THE WHOLE WORLD'S AGAINST THEM.
IT'S SO ROMANTIC.
THIS IS NOT WEST SIDE STORY.
YOUR SISTER'S ABOUT TO MAKE A BIG MISTAKE.
ANDY AND I THINK IT'S ROMANTIC.
AND IT'S COMPLETELY DEVASTATED YOUR FATHER.
* NOBODY KNOWS THE TROUBLE I SEEN *
* NOBODY KNOWS MY SORROW **
DAD'S OUT OF CONTROL.
HAS MALLORY BEEN DOWN?
NO. SHE'S BEEN IN HER ROOM ALL DAY
LOOKING AT CHINA PATTERNS.
SHE WANTS US TO SET A WEDDING DATE.
* HERE COMES THE BRIDE, ALL DRESSED IN WHITE **
WE HAVE TO TALK TO HER.
WHAT ELSE CAN WE SAY?
HER HEART'S SET ON MARRYING NICK.
THE MORE WE PROTEST,
THE MORE DETERMINED SHE BECOMES.
* OLD MAN RIVER
* THAT OLD MAN RIVER *
PLEASE STOP SINGING SPIRITUALS.
WAS I? SORRY. I WASN'T AWARE OF IT.
MOM, DAD, I WANT YOU TO MEET GREGG CURRAN.
GREGG IS A FRATERNITY BROTHER OF MINE.
GREGG IS HERE FOR DINNER,
AND IF ALL GOES WELL, TO MARRY MALLORY.
WHAT ARE WE HAVING, ELYSE?
SOMETHING GREGG LIKES, I HOPE.
YOU NEVER MENTIONED MARRIAGE.
YOU JUST ASKED ME TO MEET YOUR SISTER.
THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GOING TO DO...
TODAY, GREGG.
TOMORROW...TOMORROW IS A BIG DAY FOR YOU.
PICKING OUT THE RING,
CATERER, TUXEDOS.
THIS IS NO SOLUTION.
DON'T STIFLE THE BOY'S CREATIVITY, ELYSE.
MALLORY, I BROUGHT YOU SOMETHING.
I MEAN, I WANT YOU TO MEET GREGG CURRAN.
HELLO.
HI.
WELL, YOU TWO ARE REALLY HITTING IT OFF.
LET'S LEAVE THESE TWO LOVEBIRDS ALONE.
ALEX, THIS IS THE LOWEST YOU'VE EVER SUNK.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE PASSING UP.
LOOK AT THIS GUY--
HE'S HANDSOME, HE'S WELL-DRESSED,
HE IS GENETICALLY INCAPABLE
OF MAKING LESS THAN $50,000 A YEAR.
MALLORY, YOU DON'T TAKE HIM, I WILL.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I DON'T WANT TO MEET ANYONE ELSE.
I LOVE NICK, AND I'M GOING TO MARRY HIM.
AH, GREGG.
GREGG, SORRY THIS DIDN'T WORK OUT,
AND I'M SORRY YOU CAN'T STAY FOR DINNER.
CAN'T I GET SOMETHING TO GO?
GREGG'S GONE.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
WE'LL TRY TO BE REASONABLE,
BUT FAILING THAT, WE HAVE NO CHOICE--
WE'VE GOT TO GROUND HER,
KEEP HER FROM SEEING NICK.
GROUND HER DEEP, GROUND HER WIDE,
AND GROUND HER LONG.
I AGREE.
IF WE HAVE TO, WE'LL GROUND HER.
* SWING LOW
* SWEET CHARIOT
* COMING FOR TO CARRY ME HOME *
* SWING LOW
* SWEET CHARIOT
* COMING FOR TO CARRY ME HOME **
[SLURP]
PERHAPS WE SHOULD GET TO THE MATTER AT HAND.
LET HER RIP.
WE ASKED YOU TO COME HAVE TEA WITH US
TO MAKE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND OUR POSITION.
I KNOW YOU'RE NOT COMPLETELY IN SUPPORT
OF OUR GETTING MARRIED.
YOU MISUNDERSTAND OUR POSITION.
WE'VE MULLED THIS IDEA OVER,
AND WE HATE IT.
NICK, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE COMING OVER.
YOUR PARENTS WANTED TO HAVE A TALK.
OH, NO.
WE WANTED TO GIVE NICK AN OPPORTUNITY TO EXPLAIN
WHY HE'S DOING THIS TERRIBLE THING TO OUR FAMILY.
MORE TEA, NICK?
HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?
NICK, WOULD YOU MIND LEAVING?
I WANT TO TALK TO MY PARENTS ALONE.
MR. KEATON. MRS. KEATON.
HEY.
THIS SHOULD BE THE HAPPIEST TIME OF MY LIFE.
YOU'RE RUINING IT.
WE JUST KNOW YOU'RE NOT READY TO GET MARRIED.
YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE IT'S NICK.
ADMIT IT, YOU CAN'T STAND NICK.
OK. I CAN'T STAND NICK,
BUT YOU COULD BE MARRYING SAINT NICK,
AND I'D STILL SAY YOU'RE NOT READY.
IT'S SO UNREALISTIC, MALLORY.
YOU CAN'T SUPPORT EACH OTHER.
NICK AND I CAN WORK.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT COLLEGE?
IT DOESN'T MATTER. NICK IS WHAT MATTERS.
WE'RE GOING TO GET MARRIED.
WE CAN LIVE ON LOVE.
* TOTE THAT BARGE, LIFT THAT BALE **
YOU KNOW WE LOVE YOU. LISTEN TO US.
THE CHANCES OF THIS NOT WORKING OUT
ARE SO GREAT.
YOU'RE SO YOUNG.
HOW OLD WERE YOU TWO WHEN YOU GOT MARRIED?
I FORGET.
YOU WERE BOTH 19. IT WORKED OUT FOR YOU.
IT HASN'T WORKED OUT THAT GREAT.
RIGHT, ELYSE?
RIGHT. IT'S A MESS.
WE CAN'T LET YOU
MAKE THE SAME TERRIBLE MISTAKE WE DID.
WE'RE GETTING MARRIED, AND YOU CAN'T STOP US.
YOU'RE NOT MARRYING NICK OR ANYONE ELSE,
NOT UNTIL WE'RE READY!
NO.
WELL, UNTIL YOU CAN START THINKING CLEARLY,
YOU'RE GROUNDED!
THAT'S RIGHT. YOU'RE GROUNDED.
YOU CAN'T GROUND ME. I'M 18 YEARS OLD.
I DON'T HAVE TO LIVE HERE.
OH, REALLY?
YOU CAN'T GROUND ME
BECAUSE I WANT TO GET MARRIED.
NO?
YOU CAN'T GROUND A MARRIAGE.
ARE YOU GOING TO GROUND NICK, TOO?
WE'RE LOOKING INTO THAT.
CAN I TALK TO YOU A MINUTE?
YOU SURELY MAY.
WE CAN'T GROUND SOMEONE HER AGE.
BUT WE'VE ALWAYS GROUNDED. IT'S WORKED SO WELL.
WE CAN'T.
IF THEY TAKE THAT AWAY FROM US,
WHAT HAVE WE GOT LEFT?
AN ADULT RELATIONSHIP
BASED ON RESPECT AND LOVE,
A CARING ALLIANCE OF EQUALS.
GROUNDING'S BETTER.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
MY PARENTS TRIED TO GROUND ME.
I'M SO ANGRY I COULD SCREAM.
GO AHEAD, SCREAM.
EVERYBODY SCREAMS IN THIS BUILDING.
NO. IT WON'T HELP.
I'M JUST SO...UHH!
HIT THE HEAVY-BAG.
NO.
NO, REALLY. GIVE IT A TRY.
IT WORKS FOR ME.
ALL RIGHT. HERE, WATCH.
DON'T TELL ME I AIN'T GOT NO RIGHT
TO LOOK IN YOUR GARBAGE CAN...
'CAUSE I DO.
ALL RIGHT?
GET IT OUT.
SAY WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND,
AND WHALE INTO IT WITH ALL YOU GOT.
I WANT MY PARENTS TO UNDERSTAND
THAT I'M 18, AND I GOT SOME RIGHTS.
THAT'S IT. NOW YOU'RE TALKING.
ALL RIGHT, COME ON.
I LOVE YOU, AND I WANT TO MARRY YOU.
AND NOBODY CAN TELL ME I CAN'T GET MARRIED!
NOT WITH A RIGHT LIKE THAT.
I WANT MY OWN APARTMENT! I WANT MY OWN LIFE!
YOU DEFINITELY KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.
I WANT TO ELOPE.
I KNOW THIS JUSTICE OF THE PEACE
IN NEW JERSEY.
MY COUSIN USES HIM A LOT.
I WANT TO GET MARRIED TOMORROW, NICK.
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.
CAPTIONS COPYRIGHT 1986 PARAMOUNT PICTURES CORPORATION
PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE