* I BET WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER
* FOR A MILLION YEARS
* AND I BET WE'LL BE TOGETHER
* FOR A MILLION MORE
* OH, IT'S LIKE I STARTED BREATHING *
* ON THE NIGHT WE KISSED
* AND I CAN'T REMEMBER
* WHAT I EVER DID BEFORE
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US
* AND THERE AIN'T NO NOTHING
* WE CAN'T LOVE EACH OTHER THROUGH *
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US
* SHA LA LA LA *
WHAT ARE YOU WRITING?
NOTHING. JUST A POEM.
HOW'S IT COMING?
I'M STUCK ON ONE LINE.
MAYBE I CAN HELP.
I DON'T LIKE TO BRAG,
BUT IN SCHOOL, I WAS QUITE A POET.
THEY USED TO CALL ME "IAMBIC PENTAMETER" KEATON.
THAT'S A FABULOUS NICKNAME, DAD.
COME ON, READ ME WHAT YOU'VE GOT SO FAR.
OK.
"THE GRAY WORLD SPINS.
"WE ARE ADRIFT IN THE EMPTY UNIVERSE.
"LOST.
"DEPRESSED.
"NOTHING IN SIGHT.
"NOTHING.
NOTHING."
IT'S CUTE.
MAYBE WE SHOULD PUT IT ON OUR CHRISTMAS CARDS.
WELL, SURE, IT'S CUTE,
BUT ISN'T IT A LITTLE DEPRESSING?
JEN, A GIRL YOUR AGE
SHOULD BE WRITING ABOUT FLOWERS
AND SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS.
I WANT TO SHOW THE ALIENATION OF MANKIND
CONFRONTED WITH THE HORROR OF THE INDUSTRIAL AGE.
I'M SURE THERE'S A NICER WAY TO DO IT.
GOOD EVENING.
THERE ARE MY GUYS.
ALEX, DID YOU TAKE FIRST PLACE IN A HORSE SHOW?
FOR YOUR INFORMATION, JENNIFER,
THIS MEDAL DISTINGUISHES ME AS MEMBER
OF THE LELAND UNIVERSITY FATERNITY COUNCIL.
GIVES ME JURISDICTION OVER FRATERNITY MATTERS
ON THE LELAND CAMPUS.
IT IS A BIG DEAL.
HEY, TELL THEM WHAT THEY CALL ME, ANDY.
UM...
A POMPOUS FOOL.
NO, NO, NO.
NOT THOSE GUYS IN THE PICKUP TRUCK.
THE GUYS IN THE HOUSE
WITH THE BIG GREEK LETTERS ON IT.
MR. BIG.
DID YOU HAVE HIM AT THE FRATERNITY HOUSE AGAIN?
JUST FOR A MINUTE.
HE'S PICKING UP SOME BAD HABITS.
WHAT BAD HABITS?
MOM, HE SAW WHAT COLLEGE IS ALL ABOUT.
HE SAW PEOPLE READING AND STUDYING.
HE SAW PEOPLE ENGAGED IN THE PURSUIT OF KNOWLEDGE.
WHAT ELSE DID YOU SEE?
GIRLS. BEER.
WHAT AN IMAGINATION THIS LITTLE GUY HAS GOT.
COME ON, ANDY. PUT YOUR BEER MUG AWAY.
IT'S TIME FOR SESAME STREET.
GUESS WHAT?
I'VE BEEN ASKED TO PLEDGE SIX SORORITIES.
MALLORY, THAT'S WONDERFUL.
HOW ARE YOU GOING TO CHOOSE?
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
SEE, PHI KAPPA GAMMA IS THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS.
IT'S THE HARDEST TO GET INTO,
BUT THEIR COLORS ARE ALL WRONG FOR ME.
HOW ABOUT YOU, SKIP?
NO LUCK WITH THE FRATERNITIES,
BUT THERE ARE A FEW CULT GROUPS INTERESTED IN ME.
LOOK, SKIPPY, CHEER UP.
IT'S NOT SO BAD.
THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY.
YOU BELONG TO A GREAT FRATERNITY.
I'D DO ANYTHING TO BE IN YOUR FRATERNITY.
I HATE TO SEE YOU DOWN.
I'LL TAKE YOU TO THE GRANT CHAPTER OF MY FRATERNITY.
I'LL INTRODUCE YOU TO SOME GUYS.
OH, WOW, ALEX.
I CAN'T PROMISE YOU I'LL GET YOU IN.
I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS.
YO, FANCY PANTS,
THIS IS MEMBERS ONLY TERRITORY. VAMOOSE.
YEAH. I'M ALEX P. KEATON.
I'M FROM THE LELAND CHAPTER OF THETA PI.
OH, SORRY. BRIAN ELLIOT.
PRESIDENT OF THE GRANT CHAPTER.
HONK. HONK.
I'M DAVE DUBIN.
I WANT TO BE THE PRESIDENT OF THE GRANT CHAPTER.
HONK. HONK.
SO, HOW CAN WE HELP YOU, KEATON?
I'M HEAR TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT A PROSPECTIVE PLEDGE.
TERRIFIC. WHAT'S HIS NAME?
HANDLEMAN... IRWIN HANDLEMAN.
UH, LISTEN, KEATON,
WE'D REALLY LIKE TO HELP YOU OUT,
BUT YOU'VE GOT TO UNDERSTAND,
WE'VE GOT STANDARDS.
SKIPPY HANDLEMAN'S ABOUT THE NERDIEST GUY ON CAMPUS.
YEAH, WELL, I KNOW THAT FROM AFAR,
HE MAY APPEAR THAT WAY,
BUT YOU'VE GOT TO MEET THIS GUY.
HE ALMOST GOT ACCEPTED INTO HARVARD.
OH, YEAH. HE WAS JUST SHORT ONE CREDIT IN BIOLOGY
AND 1400 POINTS ON THE S.A.T.s.
BOY, THAT IS CLOSE.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
WELL, THAT'S PROBABLY SKIPPY NOW.
DO ME A FAVOR AND INTERVIEW HIM?
SURE, WHAT ARE BROTHERS FOR?
HONK. HONK.
HI. DAVE DUBIN.
HI. I'M SKIPPY HANDLEMAN.
HEY, SKIP.
THOSE ARE FOR YOU,
AND THERE'S PLENTY MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM.
PLEASE, TAKE ME. YOU'VE GOT TO TAKE ME.
HI. BRIAN ELLIOT. I'M PRESIDENT OF THETA PI.
HELLO THERE, BRIAN.
ALEX HAS TOLD ME A LOT ABOUT YOU.
LET'S GET UNDER WAY.
ALEX, PLEASE. YOU'VE GOT TO STAY WITH ME.
I DON'T KNOW IF THEY CAN TELL,
I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS.
WE'LL KEEP IT OUR LITTLE SECRET, OK?
OK. FOR THIS INTERVIEW,
WE NEED YOUR FULL NAME.
IRWIN MURRAY HANDLEMAN.
BUT NONE OF THAT'S WRITTEN IN STONE.
DID YOU, UH, BRING A RESUME THERE, SKIP?
OF COURSE.
CAN YOU SHOW IT TO THEM?
UH, YES. HERE IS...MY COURSES ARE LISTED THERE,
AND THIS IS MY GRADE POINT AVERAGE,
AND, OH, THIS IS AN ENCOURAGING LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION
FROM MY MOTHER.
I REALLY DON'T THINK WE NEED TO FINISH.
I THINK WE KNOW EVERYTHING WE NEED.
YOU'RE DEFINITELY THETA PI MATERIAL.
WE WANT YOU TO PLEDGE.
"SO OFF HE WENT TO BLUER SKY,
"TO SING A SONG OR PLAY A GAME.
"BUT 'ERE HE WENT, HE TURNED TO CRY,
ROBIN RED BREAST IS MY NAME."
"CAN YOU GUESS, OR HAVE YOU HEARD?
MY LITTLE FRIEND IS BUT...A BIRD."
I WAS ONLY 17 WHEN I WROTE THIS.
YOU WERE A REAL CHILD PRODIGY, DAD.
YOU'RE JUST BEING STUBBORN.
I KNOW THIS IS A WONDERFUL POEM. RIGHT, ELYSE?
I DON'T LIKE IT.
IS YOUR NAME ELYSE?
I WAS TALKING TO YOUR MOTHER.
OK, DAD, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE GOOD.
LET'S TAKE ANOTHER CRACK.
IF YOU HAVE TO USE THE WORD "DEPRESSED,"
TRY TO FIND A NICE RHYME FOR IT.
LIKE WHAT?
HOW ABOUT "ROBIN RED BREAST"?
MOM.
MOM, YOU'RE LOOKING AT A MAN
WHO DID THE IMPOSSIBLE.
COMPARED TO THIS FEAT,
THE ALASKAN PIPELINE IS A GARDEN HOSE.
THE EIFFEL TOWER, IT'S A HAT RACK.
I GOT SKIPPY HANDLEMAN INTO THE BEST FRATERNITY
ON THE GRANT COLLEGE CAMPUS.
THERE'S NOTHING I CANNOT DO.
THAT'S GOOD.
YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS TO SKIPPY.
I WAS NERVOUS ABOUT ASKING THOSE GUYS TO DO THIS.
THEY WERE FALLING OVER THEMSELVES TRYING TO PLEASE ME.
YOU KNOW, I FORGET HOW POWERFUL AND OMNIPOTENT I AM.
I SHOULD WRITE A NOTE TO REMIND MYSELF.
NO, I'LL REMEMBER.
I BET YOU WILL.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
HEY.
ERIC.
ALEX.
HONK. HONK.
BROUGHT OVER THE MASTER LIST OF THE PLEDGES.
NAMES, MAJORS, THEIR PARENTS' NET INCOME.
I LOVE GOING THROUGH THESE LISTS.
EVERY CHAPTER'S SHOWING GROWTH AND PROSPERITY,
BUT WE HAVE A LITTLE PROBLEM WITH THE GRANT CHAPTER.
WHAT DO EXPECT WITH THOSE BOZOS?
YEAH. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
THEY'RE DOING THE "BIG STOOGE" AGAIN.
JUST LIKE THEM TO DO THAT.
WHAT'S THE "BIG STOOGE"?
THEY PICK OUT THE NERDIEST GUY THEY CAN FIND,
LIE AND TELL HIM THEY'RE INTERESTED IN HIM,
HUMILIATE HIM FOR A WEEK DURING HAZING,
THEN NOT SELECT HIM.
WHAT'S THE NAME OF THIS BIG STOOGE?
UM...HANDLEMAN.
IRWIN HANDLEMAN.
SKIPPY HANDLEMAN.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
IRWIN HANDLEMAN, HE'S A FRIEND OF MINE.
I'VE GOT TO TELL HIM.
YOU CAN'T TELL, ALEX.
THAT'S AGAINST THE CODE.
THAT'S BETRAYING FRATERNITY TRUST.
I HATE THIS "BIG STOOGE" BUSINESS, TOO,
BUT IF YOU TELL HANDLEMAN,
YOU'RE OUT OF THE FRATERNITY.
I CAME UP WITH AN ENDING--
THE CATERPILLAR TURNS INTO A BUTTERFLY.
THAT'S A STUNNING TWIST, DAD.
BUT I DON'T NEED THAT ANYMORE.
I WROTE ANOTHER ONE.
OH. WELL, CAN I READ IT?
I TRIED TO USE SOME OF THE PHRASES YOU SUGGESTED--
THE THINGS THAT RHYME.
OH, GOOD. GOOD. WELL...
"I LOOKED DOWN AT THE CAR
"AND FELT DEPRESSED.
FOR UNDER THE TIRE LAY ROBIN RED BREAST."
COME ON, JEN. WE HAVE WORK TO DO.
MOM, HELP.
IT'S A PART OF LIFE.
HEY, MOM.
DID ANDY GO TO SLEEP OK?
I READ HIS FAVORITE BEDTIME STORY.
HE WAS OUT COLD
BY THE TIME NIXON LEFT FOR CHINA.
ALEX, I CAN'T BELIEVE SKIPPY.
HE'S OUTSIDE ON THE LAWN WEARING A DRESS
SINGING, "I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR."
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DRESS.
IT'S INITIATION NIGHT AT THETA PI.
IT'S A RITUAL TO PUT ON A DRESS.
I HOPE HE DOESN'T SPILL ANYTHING ON IT.
I'D LIKE TO BORROW IT.
HE'S PUTTING HIS HEART INTO IT.
IT WAS SWEET TO GET SKIPPY INTO THETA PI.
IT'S DONE AMAZING THINGS.
HE'S GETTING MORE ATTENTION.
HE'S MORE CONFIDENT.
IT'S MADE A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE.
YOU SHOULD BE REALLY PROUD.
NAH.
NO, I MEAN IT.
DON'T BE MODEST, ALEX.
HOW MANY CHANCES DO I GET TO COMPLIMENT YOU?
OK...THANKS.
SUCH A BEAUTIFUL THING.
SKIPPY'S YOUR FRIEND,
AND YOU CARED ENOUGH TO GO THE EXTRA MILE.
HOW MANY GUYS WOULD DO THAT?
YOU'RE VERY SPECIAL.
YOU'RE GETTING ON MY NERVES.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
ALL RIGHT, MAL, I'LL TELL YOU A SECRET.
YOU PROMISE NOT TO TELL?
YES.
NOW I MEAN IT, MAL.
I MEAN, THIS IS IMPORTANT.
ALEX, IF I BREATHE A WORD OF IT,
MAY I PAY RETAIL FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
ALL RIGHT.
HERE IT IS.
SKIPPY'S A BIG STOOGE.
ALEX, THAT SECRET'S OUT.
NO. SEE, THE TRUTH IS...
HE'S NOT REALLY BEING PLEDGED INTO THETA PI.
SEE, THEY'RE STRINGING HIM ALONG TO HUMILIATE HIM.
THEY CALL IT "THE BIG STOOGE."
WELL, WHY WOULD SKIPPY GO THROUGH ALL THIS
IF HE KNOWS HE'S NOT GETTING IN?
HE DOESN'T KNOW.
YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM?
HE'S YOUR FRIEND! I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
IT'S SIMPLE. THERE'S A CODE. OK?
I SWORE AN OATH.
THEY'LL THROW ME OUT OF THE FRATERNITY.
WELL.
TONIGHT'S THE BIG NIGHT.
AREN'T YOU GOING TO WISH ME LUCK?
LUCK.
MALLORY?
SKIPPY, I'VE BEEN THINKING.
TONIGHT WOULD BE A GOOD NIGHT FOR...
US TO GO OUT ON A DATE.
I--I'M SORRY.
MALLORY, IT'S BREAKING MY HEART.
BUT I HAVE TO SAY NO.
THETA PI'S THE GREATEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME.
TONIGHT'S INITIATION NIGHT. I CAN'T MISS THAT.
AND THIS IS THE MAN WHO MADE IT POSSIBLE.
ALEX KEATON. THANK YOU.
HEY, SKIP, COME ON. IT WAS NOTHING.
WELL! NEXT TIME YOU SEE ME,
I'LL BE A THETA PI MAN.
DON'T GIVE ME THAT DISAPPROVING LOOK.
WHAT DISAPPROVING LOOK?
THIS ONE.
THE ONE YOU SAVE FOR CRIMINALS
AND PEOPLE WITH LAST YEAR'S HAIRCUT.
I THINK YOU'RE A LITTLE BIT PARANOID.
SKIPPY IS BETTER OFF THIS WAY.
I MEAN, YOU SAID IT YOURSELF.
YOU SAID HE'S GETTING MORE ATTENTION AT SCHOOL.
HE'S MORE CONFIDENT.
HE'S DRESSING BETTER.
HE MAY NOT GET EVERYTHING HE WANTS,
BUT HE'LL HAVE A COUPLE WEEKS IN THE LIMELIGHT
THAT HE'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER.
YOU KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT.
AND MAYBE SOMEDAY YOU'LL COME TO BELIEVE IT.
HEY, KEATON!
WHERE'S SKIPPY?
UPSTAIRS WITH THE PLEDGES.
HE'S NOT PLEDGING AND YOU KNOW IT, BRIAN.
BIG STOOGE, HUH?
WHAT'RE YOU THINKING ABOUT?
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ANY BIG STOOGE.
THIS IS ALEX P. KEATON YOU'RE DEALING WITH.
I BELONG TO THE INTERFRATERNITY COUNCIL,
AND I ATTEND A COLLEGE WHERE STUDENTS ACTUALLY HAVE BRAINS.
ALL RIGHT. SO HE'S THE BIG STOOGE. SO WHAT?
I'M TAKING SKIPPY HOME.
KEATON! IF YOU'RE AS SMART AS YOU SAY,
YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS.
YOU SAY ANYTHING ABOUT "BIG STOOGE,"
YOU'RE OUT OF THIS FRATERNITY.
RIGHT.
YOU CAN'T TAKE OUR BIG STOOGE.
IT'S THE BEST PART OF THE EVENING.
WE HAVEN'T EVEN DIPPED HIM IN MUSTARD YET.
* OH, I AM WOMAN
ALEX, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I CAME TO TAKE YOU HOME.
I CAN'T GO NOW.
THEY HAVEN'T DIPPED ME IN MUSTARD.
HEY, SKIP, LISTEN TO ME.
YOU DON'T WANT TO GO IN THERE.
THAT'S WHERE THE HAZING TAKES PLACE.
WHERE THEY'RE VOTING ON ME.
THEY'RE NOT.
KEATON, NO MORE WARNINGS.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
TELL HIM, BRIAN.
YOU TELL HIM.
TELL HIM WHAT?
YOU'RE NOT GETTING INTO THETA PI, SKIPPY.
THEY NEVER PLANNED ON LETTING YOU IN.
THEY WERE JUST USING YOU AS A JOKE.
I'M SORRY.
IS THIS TRUE, BRIAN?
I'LL HAVE YOU KICKED OUT OF THETA PI SO FAR,
YOUR GRANDCHILDREN WON'T GET IN.
YOU DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO.
LET'S GO, SKIP.
NO. THIS CAN'T BE TRUE.
I DID EVERYTHING YOU GUYS SAID.
I BOUGHT THE SAME CLOTHES YOU GUYS WEAR.
I SUBSCRIBED TO G.Q.
I EVEN GOT THE RIGHT LOAFERS.
TWO OF THEM!
YOU GOT A LOT OF NERVE SCREWING UP HELL NIGHT.
YOU KNEW HANDLEMAN WAS THE BIG STOOGE.
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING TO HIM?
YOU KNEW, ALEX?
NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!
WHERE'VE YOU BEEN?
OVER AT THE THETA PI FRATERNITY.
IS SKIPPY A FULL-FLEDGED MEMBER NOW?
NO. SKIPPY'S NOT A MEMBER.
SKIPPY'S NOT GOING TO BE A MEMBER.
AND, UH...
I'M PROBABLY NOT A MEMBER ANYMORE, EITHER.
WELL, WHAT HAPPENED?
THEY NEVER INTENDED TO INCLUDE HIM.
IT WAS A JOKE.
ALL THEY WANTED WAS TO MAKE FUN OF HIM.
THE WORST PART'S I KNEW
AND DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.
SERIOUSLY? YOU KNEW AND DIDN'T TELL HIM?
RIGHT. HE KNEW AND DIDN'T TELL.
WHY WOULDN'T YOU TELL?
I CAN'T GO THROUGH IT. IT'S TOO PAINFUL.
LET ME SEE.
ALEX STARTED OUT TRYING TO DO SOMETHING NICE.
WHICH IS RARE IN ITSELF, SO I REMEMBER THIS WELL.
ALEX WANTED TO GET SKIPPY INTO THETA PI.
HE TOOK HIM OVER.
ALEX DIDN'T KNOW THEY WOULDN'T PLEDGE SKIPPY.
THEY WANTED TO MAKE HIM "THE BIG STOOGE."
ALEX FOUND OUT BUT COULDN'T TELL
BECAUSE HE'D BREAK THE CODE.
"WHAT CODE?" THETA PI'S.
THEY'D THROW HIM OUT.
HE'D BECOME A SOCIAL OUTCAST--
RUIN HIS CHANCES OF A BIG BUSINESS CAREER,
A WALL STREET JOB,
A NEW YORK APARTMENT.
HE COULDN'T TELL. TONIGHT HE TOLD.
I LOVE HIM FOR IT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I HELD IT IN SO LONG.
I THOUGHT I'D EXPLODE.
YOU DID.
WHAT'S UP? YOU OK? SKIPPY!
WHERE'S THE DRESS?
I'M OK.
WE HEARD WHAT HAPPENED. WE'RE SORRY.
I'D REALLY LIKE TO SPEAK WITH ALEX ALONE.
SURE. WE WERE GOING UP ANYWAY.
HEY, YOU LOOK COLD.
PUT THIS ON.
WHERE DID YOU GO? I CALLED FIVE TIMES.
I WENT TO GROVER LAKE.
I GO THERE AFTER I'VE MADE A FOOL OF MYSELF.
I GO THERE A LOT.
SKIPPY, I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW SORRY I AM.
HOW COULD YOU DO THAT, ALEX?
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LOOK OUT FOR ME!
I DID! I TRIED.
WHY DIDN'T YOU TRY SOONER?
LOOK, I HAD SOME REASONS.
I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOOD ONES AT THE TIME.
THEY WEREN'T.
I SWORE SECRECY.
I DIDN'T WANT TO BREAK THE CODE.
OH, 'CAUSE THAT CODE'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME.
IF IT WAS, I WOULDN'T HAVE SHOWN UP.
ALEX, WHY DO THESE THINGS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?
WHY...WHY AM I ALWAYS EVERYBODY'S BIG STOOGE?
YOU'RE JUST NOT IN YOUR TIME...
YET, SKIP. THAT'S ALL.
I MEAN, YOU'LL GROW INTO IT.
YOU'LL BE A LATE BLOOMER.
IF I DON'T BLOOM SOON,
THEY'LL HAVE TO REPLANT ME.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
SKIPPY, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.
PEOPLE ARE GOING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU
BECAUSE YOU'RE A LITTLE TOO OPEN.
YOU'RE A LITTLE TOO TRUSTING.
A LITTLE TOO ACCEPTING SOMETIMES.
BUT THAT'S THEIR PROBLEM.
SKIPPY, YOU'RE ONE OF THE ONLY
TRULY GOOD PEOPLE I KNOW.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
YOU'RE ALWAYS ON THE INSIDE.
I'M ALWAYS ON THE OUTSIDE.
IT'S BEEN THAT WAY SINCE WE WERE KIDS.
REMEMBER WHEN WE LEARNED TO RIDE BIKES?
YOU GOT ON, STARTED PEDALING,
AND WENT DOWN THE HILL.
I GOT ON, COASTED FIVE FEET, AND KILLED A CAT.
IT'S JUST THAT OUR STYLES...
ARE A LITTLE DIFFERENT, SKIP. THAT'S ALL.
ANY DAY NOW THAT'LL CHANGE.
YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE THOSE TRAINING WHEELS OFF.
AND WHEN YOU DO, WATCH OUT, WORLD.
WATCH OUT, CATS.
THANK YOU, ALEX.
YOU KNOW...
WE COULD START A FRATERNITY OF OUR OWN.
ALL WE NEED'S A SECRET HANDSHAKE.
YOU GOT IT.
WAIT.
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