[ THEME SONG PLAYS ] * I BET WE'VE BEEN TOGETHERFOR A MILLION YEARS * * AND I'LL BET WE'LL BE TOGETHERFOR A MILLION MORE * * OH, IT'S LIKEI STARTED BREATHING * * ON THE NIGHT WE KISSED * AND I CAN'T REMEMBERWHAT I EVER DID BEFORE * * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * AND THEREAIN'T NO NOTHIN' * * WE CAN'T LOVEEACH OTHER THROUGH * * OOH-HOO * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * SHA-LA-LA-LA UH, I-I DON'T REALLY THINKI WANT TO PLAY, DAD. OH? WELL, NO OFFENSE, BUT IT'S JUST NOTMUCH OF A CHALLENGE FOR ME. [ Chuckling ]OH, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO WINS. I JUST THOUGHTIT WOULD BE NICE TO SPENDA LITTLE TIME TOGETHER. I'M GONNA BEAT YOUTHIS TIME. DAD, I'M 138 AND 0AGAINST YOU. AH, 138, 0, AND 1. YOU'RE FORGETTING THAT TIMEWE PLAYED TO A DRAW. DAD, I HAD MY APPENDIX OUTTHAT DAY. THE ANESTHETICHAD WORN OFF. ALL RIGHT, DAD. ALL RIGHT.WHERE DO YOU WANT TO PLAY? ANYWHERE, ALEX.YOU PICK. GOOD.LET'S PLAY IN MY ROOM, THEN. THAT WAY, I CAN NAP WHILEYOU'RE THINKING OF YOUR MOVES. WELL, SEE? IT'S BRINGING USCLOSER TOGETHER ALREADY! DOES ANYBODY NEED ANYTHING ELSEFROM THE KITCHEN? IT'S CLOSING. I THOUGHT THE KITCHENSTAYED OPEN TILL 10:00. JEFF'S COMING OVERTO TUTOR ME, AND WE'RE GONNA BE STUDYINGIN THERE. OH, YEAH. HOW ISTHE FRENCH COMING, MAL? OH, ALL RIGHT,I GUESS. UH-OH. YOU DON'T SOUNDVERY ENTHUSIASTIC. WELL, IT'S JUST THATI'M NOT GETTING ANYWHERE. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOU'VE GONE FROM A C-MINUSTO A "B" IN FRENCH SINCE JEFF'SBEEN TUTORING YOU. SHE MEANT SHE'S NOTGETTING ANYWHERE WITH JEFF. JENNIFER! COME ON, MAL. IT'S NO SECRETHOW YOU FEEL ABOUT JEFF. NOT ANYMORE. MALLORY, WHERE AREYOUR PRIORITIES? NOW, WE HIRED JEFF TO HELP RAISE YOUR GRADEIN FRENCH, REMEMBER? WE'VE ACCOMPLISHED THAT, MOM.IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON. YOU CAN'T FORCE IT,MALLORY. EITHER THE CHEMISTRY'S THEREOR IT'S NOT. IT'S JUST A CERTAIN...JE NE SAIS QUOI. WHERE'D YOU LEARN THAT? LAST WEEK,WHEN YOU WERE DOING YOUR IDIOMS. WERE YOU EAVESDROPPING? I ALWAYS DOWHEN YOU HAVE A BOY OVER. I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT. I THINK HE LIKES ME. WE LAUGH.WE HAVE A GOOD TIME TOGETHER. BUT WHENEVERWE TALK TOO LONG ABOUT ANYTHING OTHERTHAN FRENCH, HE FREEZES UP. WELL, JEFF'S A LITTLE SHY,HONEY. ACTUALLY,I THINK IT'S CUTE. SHOULDN'T HE BE HEREBY NOW? I'M USUALLY EAVESDROPPINGBY THIS TIME. YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S NOTLIKE HIM TO BE SO LATE. JEFF! UH, WHY ARE YOUSTANDING THERE? DIDN'T THE DOORBELLWORK? I DON'T KNOW.I DIDN'T TRY IT YET. I HEARD VOICES INSIDE,AND I DIDN'T WANT TO INTERRUPT. YOU HAVE YOUR WORKCUT OUT FOR YOU, MALLORY. UH...JE SUIS... TU ES, IL EST, NOUS êTES... I DON'T KNOW. I'M ALWAYS HAVING TROUBLEWITH THESE IRREGULAR VERBS. YOU JUST HAVE TOMEMORIZE THEM, MALLORY. IT'S JUST LIKEIN ENGLISH. I AM, YOU ARE,HE OR SHE IS. WELL,I KNOW IT IN ENGLISH. SEE? YOU'VE GOT A KNACKFOR LANGUAGES. YOU'VE GOTA REALLY GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR. OH. OH, SORRY. GETTING BACK TOCONJUGATION... SO, HOW'D YOU GET TO BESO GOOD IN FRENCH? I LIVED IN PARISFOR FIVE YEARS AS A KID. MY PARENTSWERE REALLY MAD. ACTUALLY, MY DAD WAS INTHE FOREIGN SERVICE. OH, WHY DIDN'T YOU EVERTELL ME THAT? YOU NEVER ASKED ME. YOU'RE RIGHT. WHEN WE FIRST MET,I SHOULD HAVE SAID, "NICE TO MEET YOU. WAS YOUR DAD EVER INTHE FOREIGN SERVICE? YES, HE WAS. WHAT DO YOU DOWHEN YOU'RE NOT TUTORING ME? I GO TO SCHOOL. I KNOW.WE GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL. I MEANT PERSONALLY. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPORTS YOU LIKE,ANY HOBBIES... ANY GIRLFRIENDS? YES.WHAT'S HER NAME? NO. I-I MEANT SPORTS.I PLAY HOCKEY. OH, I LOVE HOCKEY. MAYBE WE COULDPLAY DOUBLES SOMETIME. YEAH, THAT'D BE GREAT. HOW ABOUT YOU?ANY HOBBIES? ANY OTHER SPORTSYOU LIKE? ANY GIRLFRIENDS --I MEAN, BOYFRIENDS? [ CLEARS THROAT ] NO. GREAT.[ CHUCKLES ] I MEAN, I'M SURPRISED. A GIRL LIKE YOU --NO HOBBIES, NO BOYFRIEND? SO NEITHER OF USHAS ANY SPORTS OR HOBBIES OR BOYFRIEND -- GIRLFRIEND. EXCEPT FOR HOCKEY. RIGHT. WELL, I GUESSTHAT'S ABOUT ENOUGH FOR TODAY. OH, IT IS? I WAS HOPINGWE COULD GO FURTHER. I'LL JUST GO OUTTHE BACK. THAT WAY,I WON'T BOTHER ANYBODY. SO, I GUESSI'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. I GUESS YOU WILL. AU REVOIR. AU REVOIR. OH.JEFF'S GONE ALREADY? YEAH. SO, MALLORY,WHAT HAPPENED? THERE WAS SOME STUFFI COULDN'T HEAR. NOTHING HAPPENED. JUST WHEN HE STARTS TO LET DOWN HIS GUARDAND BREAK THE ICE, HE FREEZES UP AGAIN. WHY DON'T YOU JUSTTHROW YOURSELF AT HIM AND GET IT OVER WITH? JENNIFER! WOULD YOU STAY OUTOF MY PERSONAL LIFE? I'M TRYING TO MAKE SUREYOU HA ONE. HONEY, GIRLSDON'T HAVE TO BE AFRAID OF LETTING BOYS KNOWHOW THEY FEEL NOW. THESE ARE THE 1980s. WHAT DID GIRLS DO BACK THENWHEN YOU WERE A KID? BACK IN THE 1880s? ACTUALLY, IT WASN'T ALL THATEASY FOR US WHEN I WAS A GIRL. I MEAN, IF YOU WEREINTERESTED IN A BOY, SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAD TO WAITUNTIL THEY ASKED YOU OUT. WHAT IF HE NEVER ASKED? THEN YOU CALLED YOUR GIRLFRIENDAND YOU SET EACH OTHER'S HAIR. YOU MEAN, IF YOU LIKED THE BOYAND HE NEVER ASKED YOU OUT, THERE WAS NOTHINGYOU COULD DO ABOUT IT, RIGHT? OH, YEAH. THERE WERESOME SILLY, SCHEMING THINGS THAT SOME OTHER GIRLS USED TO DOTO ATTRACT GUYS' ATTENTION. LIKE WHAT? OH, YOU KNOW,STUPID THINGS LIKE, UH, YOU COULD ASK A FRIENDTO CALL HIS FRIEND OR YOU COULD WRITE YOUR NAMEIN HIS NOTEBOOK OR MAYBE PUT YOUR PICTUREIN HIS LOCKER. OR IF YOU REALLY LIKEDTHE GUY, YOU'D TRYTO GET YOUR PARENTS TO BUY THE HOUSENEXT DOOR TO HIS. TELL ME, MOM,DID YOU WRITE YOUR NAME ON THE INSIDE OF THE NOTEBOOKOR ON THE COVER? WELL, YOU KNOWWHAT I USED TO DO -- YEAH? MALLORY, YOU -- YOU ARE --YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT. THINGS AREMUCH SIMPLER NOW. AND IF YOU'REREALLY INTERESTED IN JEFF, THEN YOU SHOULDJUST ASK HIM OUT. I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT. [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] SORRY TO BOTHER YOU.I FORGOT MY BOOK. I COULD COME BACK FOR ITANOTHER TIME IF IT'S MORE CONVENIENT. JEFF, COME ON IN. MALLORY HAS SOMETHINGTO ASK YOU. [ CLEARS THROAT ] UH...YEAH. DO YOU KNOW IF THE HOUSENEXT TO YOURS IS UP FOR SALE? ARE YOU GONNA MAKE A MOVE HERE,DAD, OR WHAT? DON'T RUSH ME, ALEX.THESE THINGS TAKE TIME. IT'S BEENA DAY AND A HALF, DAD. I THINK YOU COULD AT LEASTMAKE YOUR OPENING MOVE. THE OPENING MOVE IS PERHAPS THE MOST IMPORTANTOF THE GAME, ALEX. IT -- IT SETS THE TONEFOR THE ENTIRE CONTEST. [ Yawning ]WELL, WHENEVER YOU'RE READY. BUT, UH, REMEMBER, I LEAVEFOR COLLEGE IN SEPTEMBER. OKAY! OKAY. I'LL WAIT HEREWHILE YOU'RE MULLING THE -- [ DOORBELL RINGS ] BONJOUR, JEFF. BONJOUR, MALLORY. HI, JEFF.HELLO. HI. I GUESS WE'D BETTERLEAVE YOU TWO ALONE TO STUDY AND WHATEVER ELSECOMES TO YOUR MIND. JENNIFER! WELL, I HATE TO KICK YOUOUT OF YOUR OWN LIVING ROOM. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.WE COULD USE IT ANYTIME. COME ON,ALEX AND DAD. HUH? OH. SO, COME ON IN. THANK YOU. UH...CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING?SOMETHING COLD TO DRINK? THAT'D BE NICE,IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE. OH, NO TROUBLE AT ALL.UH, MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME. MY DADFORGOT HIS BOOK. UH, ALEX,C-CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING? I WAS WONDERINGIF YOUR SISTER MALLORY -- SHE LIKES YOU, JEFF. S-SHE DOES? THAT'S GREAT! SO, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?WHY DON'T YOU ASK HER OUT? I'M AFRAID.WHAT IF SHE SAYS NO? SHE WON'T. WHAT IF SHE SAYS YES? T-THEN YOU GO OUTWITH HER. THAT'S EVEN SCARIER. WHAT IFSHE DOESN'T LIKE ME? JEFF, I ALREADY TOLD YOU --SHE LIKES YOU. SHE LIKES MEAS A TUTOR, BUT WHAT IF SHE DOESN'TLIKE ME AS A DATE? HOW ARE YOU GONNA KNOWUNLESS YOU GO OUT? HERE'S SOME JUICE,JEFF. I SQUEEZED THE ORANGESMYSELF. YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT IS A VERY NICE THINGTO DO FOR SOMEONE, MALLORY. I'M SUREHE APPRECIATES IT. YEAH, I REALLY DO. MAY I SQUEEZE SOMETHINGFOR YOU? I MEAN...THANK YOU VERY MUCH. WELL, UH...MY WORK HERE IS DONE. MALLORY, BEFORE I DRINK THIS,I HAVE TO ASK YOU SOMETHING. THERE ARE NO PITS IN IT. THAT'S GREAT, BUT THAT'S NOTWHAT I WANTED TO ASK. WAIT, THERE'S SOMETHINGI HAVE TO ASK YOU FIRST. WILL YOU GO OUTWITH ME? NO.WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME? YES. GREAT. THERE'S SOMETHING ELSEI HAVE TO ASK YOU. WHAT? WHY DID YOU JUST SAY NO WHEN I ASKED YOUTO GO OUT WITH ME? DID I SAY NO?I MEANT YES. GREAT. MALLORY,WHEN YOU SAID YES... I MEANT YES. Jennifer:IT'S ABOUT TIME! [ BAG CRINKLING ] [ CHOMPING ] [ CRINKLING CONTINUES ] ALEX. DO YOU MIND? SORRY, DAD.I DIDN'T REALIZE. I WAS KIND OF CAUGHT UPIN THIS ARTICLE. THAT'S ANOTHER THING. I MAY NOT BEBORIS SPASSKY, BUT I THINKYOU OWE ME THE COURTESY OF AT LEAST LOOKING AT THE BOARDFROM TIME TO TIME, EVEN THOUGHIT IS MY MOVE. DAD, IT'S BEEN YOUR MOVEFOR AN HOUR AND A HALF. WELL, I'M READY NOW. WELL, GOOD. WHOA! ALEX. OH, SORRY, DAD. WELL, ALEX, LET'S SEE YOUWORM YOUR WAY OUT OF THAT ONE. AHHHHHH. [ CHUCKLES ] DIDN'T SEE THAT. [ BAG CRINKLING ]UH... [ CHOMPING ]UH... WELL, UH... LISTEN, I'M, UH... I'LL GO STUDY THIS SOMEPLACEWHERE IT'S A LITTLE MORE QUIET! I DON'T KNOW HOW ANYBODY'SSUPPOSED TO PLAY CHESS WITH ALL THAT RACKETGOING ON! [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] COME ON IN. HELLO, ALEX. HI, JEFF. YOU'RE A LITTLE EARLYFOR YOUR DATE, AREN'T YOU? YEAH.YEAH, I AM EARLY. I WAS HOPINGTO FIND YOU HERE ALONE. YOU'VE GOT TO TALK TO MALLORYFOR ME, ALEX. I CAN'T GO THROUGH WITH IT.I CAN'T GO ON THE DATE. JEFF, YOU'LL BE FINE. I WON'T BE FINE!I'M TOO NERVOUS. I'VE GONE OVER THIS DATEIN MY MIND A HUNDRED TIMES. THERE WERE ONLY FOUR TIMESWHEN I DIDN'T SPILL SOMETHING. YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT. JUST, UH,DON'T ORDER ANYTHING TO DRINK. ALEX, THE PROBLEMIS MORE PERVASIVE THAN THAT. I SHOULD NOT BE GOING OUTWITH MALLORY KEATON. SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.SHE'S GRACEFUL. SHE LOOKS GORGEOUSIN A DRESS. ALL THE THINGS I'M NOT. LET'S BE THANKFULFOR SOME OF THAT, JEFF. I CAN'T GO THROUGHWITH IT, ALEX. JUST TELL HERI'M SORRY. HEY, WAIT.I'M NOT TELLING HER THAT. I MEAN,SHE'S GETTING READY. YOU'RE HERE. YOU SHOULD GO OUTON THE DATE. HOW? HAVEN'T YOU EVEN BEENON A DATE BEFORE? SURE. I WENT OUTWITH BETTY BRONSON LAST WEEK. SOUNDS GOOD. BETTY'S MY COUSIN. OKAY, OKAY,IT'S NOT IDEAL, BUT, UH,THE SAME BASIC RULES APPLY. JUST FOLLOW THIS ADVICE, YOU'RE GUARANTEED SUCCESSON A DATE. REALLY? REALLY. YOU SEE, LUCKILY, ALL WOMENARE EXACTLY THE SAME. THEY ARE? SURE. SEE, I-I KNOWYOU READ A LOT TODAY IN MAGAZINES AND NEWSPAPERSABOUT, UH, "THE NEW WOMAN" AND INDEPENDENCE,ASSERTIVENESS. WHY, I-IT'S SIMPLYNOT TRUE. IT'S NOT? NO. SURPRISED, HUH? A LITTLE. SEE, ALL YOU HAVE TO DOTO ENSURE SUCCESS ON A DATE IS TO ASSUMETOTAL COMMAND FROM THE MINUTETHE FEMALE APPEARS. SEE, YOU ARE THE MAN. YOU'RE IN CONTROL. YOU MAKE THAT MOMENT. OKAY, ALEX, I'LL DO IT.ON ONE CONDITION. WHAT? YOU'VE GOT TO COME,TOO. A GUY, A GIRL,AND HER BROTHER ARE NOT WHAT WE'RE SHOOTING FORHERE, JEFF. I NEED YOU THERE, ALEX. YOU DON'T HAVE TO SITWITH US. JUST BE SOMEWHEREIN THE RESTAURANT. THAT WAY, IF I RUN INTO TROUBLE,I CAN COME TO YOU. I DON'T KNOW. IT'S GONNA LOOKPRETTY SILLY, ISN'T IT? I MEAN, ME SITTINGAT A TABLE BY MYSELF? BRING A DATE. YOU CAN GET A DATEON SHORT NOTICE, CAN'T YOU? [ SCOFFS ] ME? OF COURSE. WELL, OKAY, THEN. OKAY. HI, REGINA? YEAH, IT'S ME,YOUR COUSIN ALEX. [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] WILL YOU HURRY UP,PLEASE? I'M HERE, I'M HERE.WHERE ARE WE GONNA SIT? I DON'T KNOW. THE, UH, MAîTRE D'WILL SEAT US. OKAY, BUT DON'T LET HIMPUT US NEAR THE KITCHEN, LIKE LAST TIME. HEY,THAT WASN'T MY FAULT. WHY DO WE HAVE TO FIGHTEVERY TIME WE GO OUT?! GOOD EVENING, SIR. TABLE FOR TWO? SOMETHING ROMANTIC. SHE'S MY SISTER. OH. HEY, WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE? HEY. LOOK AT THAT. SMALL WORLD. EXCUSE MEFOR A SECOND. ALEX,WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG? I'VE BEEN TRYING TO STALLTILL YOU GOT HERE. WELL, IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO, UH,CONVINCE JENNIFER TO COME. I'M HERE FOR THE PIZZA,NOT THE COMPANY. HOW'S IT GOING SO FAR? TERRIBLE. WELL, WHAT'S WRONG? WELL, WE'VE BEEN TALKINGABOUT THE WEATHER FOR THE LAST 20 MINUTES. AND THAT'S BEENTHE HIGHLIGHT. OKAY, OKAY.I'M HERE. EVERYTHINGIS UNDER CONTROL. UH,HAVE YOU ORDERED YET? NOT YET. THIS IS GOOD.OKAY. FIRST THING YOU DO --ORDER FOR BOTH OF YOU. DON'T EVEN ASK HERWHAT SHE WANTS. JUST ORDER. AND, UH, WHEN THE WAITER COMES,INSULT HIM. IT'LL IMPRESS HER. ARE YOU SURE? I'M SURE. THAT'S THEM, ALL RIGHT. WHAT ARE THEYDOING HERE? OH, JUST OUT FOR A GOOD TIME,I GUESS. ARE YOU READYTO ORDER? YES, I THINKI'LL HAVE -- UH, SHE'LL HAVETHE VEAL PARMIGIANA. IN FACT, WE'LL BOTH HAVETHE VEAL. VEAL FOR TWO. AND STEP ON IT! NOT THE VEAL. SOMETHING TO DRINK? UM, A ROOT BEER,PLEASE. GINGER ALE -- TWO. JEFF,THAT WAS INCREDIBLY RUDE, NOT TO MENTION THE FACTI WANTED A ROOT BEER. YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT? NO. EXCUSE ME. ALEX! WE'RE GETTING THE PIZZAWITH BOLOGNA, AND THAT'S FINAL! OKAY, OKAY, JENNIFER.DON'T MAKE A SCENE. ALEX,IT'S NOT WORKING OUT. WHY? WHAT'S WRONG? I INSULTED THE WAITER. I ORDERED FOR THE TWO OF US,JUST LIKE YOU SAID. AND? SHE DIDN'T LIKE IT. SHE LIKED IT. JEFF, BELIEVE ME --UNDERNEATH, SHE LIKED IT. ALEX, I CAN'T BE LIKE YOU --SUAVE AND COOL. THAT'S NOT ME. THAT'S NOT ALEX EITHER. [ CLEARS THROAT ] JUST GO BACK TO THE TABLEAND START FLATTERING. TELL HER THAT, UH, HER HAIRIS LIKE FINE-SPUN SILK CORN, THAT, UH, HER EYES ARE -- ARE LIKESHIMMERING POOLS OF BEAUTY. I'M GONNA BE SICK. ALL RIGHT.I'LL TRY THAT. JEFF, WHY DO YOUKEEP GOING OVER TO ALEX? MALLORY, YOUR EYES ARE LIKESHIMMERING POOLS OF CORN. WHAT? I WANTED A ROOT BEER,NOT A GINGER ALE. JUST TRUST ME.I KNOW WHAT'S GOOD -- AND I DON'T WANT THIS.JEFF, I DON'T WANT THE VEAL. YOU'LL LIKE IT. IT'S OKAY.YEAH. LET ME GET THAT. IT'S STILL EDIBLE. IT DIDN'T HITTHE FLOOR -- JEFF. OKAY. OKAY. NOW I SEEWHAT HE'S BEEN DOING. VERY CLEVER, REALLY. YOU SEE, ALEX HAS BEEN USINGTHE NIMZOWITSCH DEFENCE, ELYSE. BUT IT'S EASILY COUNTEREDWITH THE SICILIAN VARIATION OF THE KING'S GAMBITDECLINED. [ LAUGHS ] DON'T YOU THINKALEX KNOWS THAT? KNOWS WHAT? WELL, I-I MEAN,ISN'T IT POSSIBLE THAT THE KING'S GAMBITDECLINED IS EXACTLYWHAT ALEX EXPECTS YOU TO DO? I MEAN, AFTER ALL,IT'S HIS BOOK. THE FIEND. HI, MALLORY.HOW WAS YOUR DATE? IT'S FINE. YOU'RE HOME EARLY,AREN'T YOU? SOMETHING TELLS MESHE AND JEFF DIDN'T GET ENGAGED. [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] JEFF. HELLO, MRS. KEATON.CAN I COME IN? OF COURSE.COME ON IN. WHAT HAPPENED? I'M NOT SURE, EXACTLY. WHEN MALLORY LEFT,SHE WAS REALLY UPSET. I WAS HOPINGSHE WAS FEELING BETTER NOW. WHAT WENT WRONG? I DON'T KNOW.WE WERE AT THE RESTAURANT. WE COULDN'T THINKOF ANYTHING TO TALK ABOUT. I ORDERED SOMETHING FOR HERTHAT SHE DIDN'T WANT. I INSULTED THE WAITER. I SPILLED DRINKS, FOOD.I RUINED HER DRESS. THE NEXT THING I KNOW,SHE WAS GONE. SOUNDS LIKE YOU DIDALL THE RIGHT THINGS. I WANTED SO BADLYFOR THIS TO BE A SPECIAL NIGHT. I EVEN GOT ALEX TO COMETO THE RESTAURANT TO HELP ME. AHA. NOW WE'RE GETTINGSOMEWHERE. WHY DID YOU ASK ALEXTO HELP? WELL, YOU KNOW,I'M NOT REAL GOOD WITH WOMEN, AND ALEX IS. WHO TOLD YOU THAT? ALEX. HE SAIDTHAT MALLORY WOULD LIKE ME IF I WERE MORE LIKE HIM. NOW I KNOWWHY SHE RAN OUT. ALEX, IT DIDN'T WORK. EVERYTHING YOU TOLD MEWAS WRONG. ALWAYS ASSUME THAT'S THE CASEWITH ALEX. ALL RIGHT,MAYBE I WAS WRONG. I GAVE YOU SOME ADVICE,AND IT DIDN'T WORK OUT. I DIDN'T CHARGE YOU FOR IT,DID I? I-IT'S NOT LIKEYOU'RE OUT ANY MONEY. [ LAUGHS ] THAT'STHE IMPORTANT THING. OH, HI. HI. I...DON'T SUPPOSEYOU WANT TO TALK, DO YOU? I WANT YOUTO EXPLAIN TO ME WHY YOU ACTED LIKE ALEXINSTEAD OF YOU. WHY DON'T WE LEAVETHESE TWO ALONE TO TALK? GOOD IDEA. JEFF, IF YOU WANTMY ADVICE -- WHATEVER YOU DO,DON'T APOLOGIZE! YOU'RE THE MAN! MALLORY, I'M SORRY. FOR THE RUDENESSOR FOR THE SPILLING OR FOR THE GENERALBOORISH MANNER? I DON'T KNOW.WHAT OFFENDED YOU THE MOST? WHY WERE YOUACTING LIKE THAT, JEFF? THAT'S NOT LIKE YOUAT ALL. I THOUGHT YOU WANTED METO BE TOUGH AND IN CONTROLAND IN COMMAND. I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE THATIN A GUY. I LIKE THAT IN AN AIRLINE PILOT,NOT A DATE. I DON'T WANT YOUTO BE LIKE THAT. OKAY. I'LL BE HOWEVERYOU WANT ME TO BE. YOU DON'T LIKETOUGH AND BOORISH, I CAN BE SOMETHING ELSE. JEFF, DON'T YOU REALIZE? I WENT OUT WITH YOUBECAUSE I LIKE YOU. YOU'RE THE GUYI WANTED TO BE WITH. REALLY? YES. BUT, MALLORY, I... I'M CLUMSY.I'M AWKWARD. I CAN'T HELP IT.I LIKE YOU. DO YOU THINK YOU STILLMIGHT BE ABLE TO LIKEME AFTER TONIGHT? JE NE SAIS. BUT I'M WILLINGTO GIVE IT A TRY. JE NE SAIS PAS. YOU FORGOT THE "PAS." YOU SEE, WITH THE NEGATIVE,YOU HAVE TO PUT -- JEFF?WHAT? SHUT UP. WANT TO GIVE UP,DAD? GIVE UP?ARE YOU KIDDING? DAD, CAN'T WE GO TO BED?I'M TIRED. [ SIGHS ] I HATE TO PUTA DAMPER ON THIS, HONEY, BUT THE KIDS DO HAVE TO GOTO SCHOOL TOMORROW. OR IS THAT TODAY? COME ON, DAD.I'M TIRED OF THIS GAME. YOU'RE JUST PROLONGINGYOUR OWN AGONY, NOT TO MENTIONTHE AGONY OF YOUR FAMILY. ALL RIGHT, ALEX.KNIGHT TO QUEEN, KNIGHT 6. CHECKMATE. YEAH. LOOK FOR YOURSELF!I WON!