VE BEEN GETHER*ANNAON BROADSTINYSTINY * FOR A MILLION YEARS * AND I BET WE'LL BE TOGETHER * FOR A MILLION MORE * OH, IT'S LIKEI STARTED BREATHING * * ON THE NIGHT WE KISSED * WHAT I EVER DID BEFOR * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WHOUT US *WHAT WOULD WEDO,BABY * WITHOUTS * AND THERE AIN'T NO NOTHING * WE CAN'T LOVEEACH OTHER THROUGH * *HAWOD DO, BY * WHO U SHA LA LA LA ** PASS THEBUSINESS SECTION. I'M NOT DONE YET. HOW'S THE MRKETTHIS MORNING? DON'T ASK. WHO'S GOTTHE EDITORIAL? ME. THERE'SAN INTERESTING PIECE ON THE INFLUENCEOF THE EARLY PRIMARIES ON THE PRESIDENTIALCAMPAIGN. HOW'S DENNISTHE MENACE, MAL? FOR YOUR INFORMATION,I'M READING THE HUMANINTEREST SECTIONS. FASHION. HEALTHAND BEAUTY GUIDE. YOU KNOW, THE WORLDCOULD BLOW UP... YOU WOULDN'T EVENKNOW ABOUT IT. I'D KNOW ABOUT ITBEFORE YOU, ALEX. HOROSCOPE SECTION. I'M GLAD YOU'RE ALL HERE. DOES ANYBODY KNOWWHAT NEXT THURSDAY IS? SURE. IT'SMOM'S BIRTHDAY. AND THE FISCAL YEAR'SFIRST QUARTER ENDS. DON'T YOU HATE ITWHEN TWO FESTIVE OCCASIONS FALL ON THE SAME DAY? I'D LIKE TO DO SOMETHINGSPECIAL THIS YEAR, LIKE THROW A SURPRISEPARTY FOR YOUR MOTHER. THAT'S SOCOME ON. EMBARRASSING. WHAT? DAD, WE KNOWYOU MEAN WELL, BUT YOUR SURPRISEPARTIES NEVER WORK. THAT IS NOT TRUE. WHAT ABOUT THE PARTYFOR ANDY'S FIRST BIRTHDAY? I KNEW ABOUT ITA MONTH BEFORE. THIS IS GOINGTO BE DIFFERENT. I'VE GOTTHE PERFECT PLAN. YOU TELL MOM YOU WANTTO TAKE HER OUT FOR A SPECIALBIRTHDAY DINNER. AT THE LAST MOMENT, I'LL PRETEND I CAN'T GO BECAUSE OF SOMEOFFICE EMERGENCY. LISTEN. LISTEN. SO ANYWAY,WHEN YOU GO OUT, I'LL COME HOME, I'LL LET THE GUESTS IN, SET UP THE FOOD-- WHAT'S GOING ON? NOTHING.ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. WHAT'S THIS ABOUT? I CAN'TTAKE THE PRESSURE. I WONDER WHAT'SBOTHERING ANDY. I BETTER GOCHECK ON THE KIDS. SOMETHING'S GOING ON. OHO. HEY, SKIPPY.WHAT' UP? NOT MUCH. JUST ONE OF THOSERARE EVENINGS WHERE I HAVE NO PLANS. WOULD ONE OF YOULIKE TO GO OUT TONIGHT? I'D LOVE TO,BUT I'VE GOT A DATE. I UNDERSTAND. HOW ABOUT YOU, MAL? ORDINARILY, I'DLOVE TO, SKIPPY. BUT I'M BUSY TONIGHT. MY FRIEND'S COMING OVER.WE'RE GOING TO STUDY. MAYBE I'LL COME ALONG. I COULD TURNPAGES FOR YOU. SHARPEN PENCILS. I MAKEA GOOD PAPERWEIGHT. MAYBE SOME OTHER TIME. I COULD CANCEL MY DATE.WE COULD DO SOMETHING. NO, ALEX. I'LL BE FINE. I'LL GO HOME.WORK ON MY POSTURE. YEAH. OK, PAL. HELLO. HELLO. I'M HERE FOR MALLORY. OH, RIGHT.YES, COME IN, PLEASE. WON'T YOU SIT DOWN? SURE. THANK YOU. WOULD YOU LIKESOMETHING TO DRINK? NO, THANK YOU. I'M SKIPPY HANDLEMAN. HI, I'M AMY SUSSMAN. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S GOINGTO THE LIBRARY WITH... MALLORY. RIGHT. WE'RE IN PSYCHOLOGYTOGETHER AT GRANT. I GO TO GRANT. I DON'T THINK I'VEEVER SEEN YOU THERE. I'M USUALLY LOCKED AWAYIN THE SCIENCE LIBRARY. I'M PREMED. THAT EXPLAINS IT.I'M NOT PREMED. WHAT ARE YOU, PRELAW? NO, I'M SORT OF... PREMATURE. I MEAN I HAVEN'TFOUND THE CLASSESI WANT TO TAKE. THAT'S OK.CHOOSING A CAREERIS A BIG DECISION. NO, I MEAN I PHYSICALLYCAN'T FIND MY CLASSES. I THOUGHT I SAW YOUR CAR.ARE YOU READY? UH-HUH. IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU. I HOPE I SEE YOUAROUND CAMPUS. ME, TOO. BYE. BYE. MOM, CAN WE TALK TO YOU? SURE. WHAT'S UP? WELL, UM... AS YOU KNOW, YOURBIRTHDAY IS NEXT WEEK, AND...AND WE'D... LIKE TO TAKE YOU OUTFOR A SPECIALBIRTHDAY DINNER. OH, THAT'SVERY SWEET, BUT I THOUGHTWE'D STAY HOMETHAT NIGHT. HAVE A QUIETDINNER HERE. WE DIDN'T WANT TO HAVETO TELL YOU THIS, BUT DAD IS PLANNING ASURPRISE PARTY FOR YOU. YOU'RE KIDDING. I'M REAL SORRY, MOM. WE WERE SUPPOSEDTO TAKE YOU TO DINNER. ALL RIGHT. I'LL GOTELL HIM HOW EXCITED I AM ABOUT GOING OUTTO DINNER. WHOA, MOM, MOM, MOMMY? UM... LISTEN, SINCE WE ARETAKING YOU OUT TO DINNER... YOU KNOW, WE PLANNED THISELABORATE PARTY FOR YOU... WILL YOU STILL BEEXPECTING GIFTS? NO, THAT'S FINE,HONEY. I STILL HAVEN'T USED THAT BEAUTIFULBLANK CHECK YOUGAVE ME LAST YEAR. [DOORBELL RINGS] I'LL GET IT. MALLORY, I NEED TO TALKTO YOU FOR A MINUTE. OK. GO. I CAN'T STOP THINKINGABOUT YOUR FRIEND AMY. YOU LIKE AMY? I SPENT THE WHOLE DAYJUST FOLLOWING HER AROUND. I NOT ONLY FELL IN LOVE, BUT I FOUNDA LOT OF MY CLASSES. SHE'S COMING OVER.YOU SHOULD ASK HER OUT. SHE'S COMING HERE? NOW? I GOT TO GO. WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? I CAN'T ASK HER OUT. YOU'VE ASKED ME OUT. I KNOW YOU'LL SAY NO.THERE'S NO PRESSURE. [DOORBELL RINGS] THAT'S HER. I'LL GO OUTTHE BACK DOOR. SKIPPY, SIT! AMY, HI. COME ON IN. THANKS. HI, SKIPPY. AHS FAS MES. AMY, SKIPPY HASSOMETHING HE'D LIKE TO ASK. SKIPPY WOULDLIKE TO KNOW IF YOU'DGO OUT WITH HIM. WHY SURE,I'D LIKE THAT. HOW ABOUTTOMORROW NIGHT? THAT WOULDBE FINE. TOMORROW NIGHTOK WITH YOU? HOW LONG HAVEYOU KNOWN MALLORY? ALL MY LIFE. MALLORY'S BEENHUNG UP ON MESINCE WE WERE KIDS. I HOPE I'M NOT BARGING INON HER TERRITORY. NO, THAT TERRITORYIS WIDE OPEN. HAVE YOU DECIDED YET? YES, I BELIEVEWE HAVE. WHAT IS THE MOSTEXPENSIVE DISHON THE MENU? THE SWORDFISHWITH LEMON BUTTER. $20. SKIPPY, THAT'STOO EXPENSIVE. I CAN HANDLE IT. WE CAN USE MY DAD'SAMERICAN EXPRESS. WE DON'T TAKEAMERICAN EXPRESS. IT'S OK.I'VE GOT SOME MONEY. WOULD YOU GIVE USA FEW MORE MINUTES? CERTAINLY. AND MAY ISUGGEST THAT YOU ACT AS REPRESENTATIVEFROM YOUR TABLE? THIS ISN'T GOINGAS I PLANNED. I'M EMBARRASSING YOU,I'M EMBARRASSING ME. NO, YOU'RE NOT. LET'S JUSTGET OUT OF HERE. OK, THAT WASA LITTLE EMBARRASSING. I'M SURE IF WE SITDOWN AND CALM DOWN, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. I HAVE TO ADMITI'M VERY NERVOUSABOUT THIS. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU AGREEDTO GO OUT WITH ME. WHY NOT? YOU ARE SWEET, AND YOU'RE FUNNY, AND YOU'RE CUTE. IS THERE SOMEONE PAYINGYOU TO SAY THESE THINGS? NO. THEN THIS IS THEGREATEST MOMENTOF MY LIFE. I WISH I COULDBE SHOT SO ITWOULD NEVER END. TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT. THE RESERVATIONSARE SET FOR 7:00. MOM DOESN'TSUSPECT ANYTHING. THIS IS GOING GREAT. SHE'S GOINGTO HAVE A GREAT-- CONGRATULATIONSON THAT NOBEL PRIZE. WHAT? GOOD COVER, DAD. SO, YOU LOOKINGFORWARD TO YOUR DINNER? OH, OH, VERY MUCH. I'M JUST SORRYTHAT YOU CAN'T MAKE IT. HOW DO YOUTHINK I FEEL? I'M READY TO GO.I GET A CALL. BIG EMERGENCYDOWN AT THE STATION. LOCUSTS. THEY'RE ALLOVER THE BUILDING. I, UH... I THINK I SHOULDBE DOWN THERE. YOU'RE VERY BRAVE. [KNOCK ON DOOR] I'LL GET IT. SURPRISE! SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! WHAT ARE YOUDOING HERE? WE'RE HERE FORELYSE'S SURPRISE PARTY. NICE GOING.YOU'RE ONLYSIX HOURS EARLY. LOOK, WE'REREALLY SORRY. WE'LL JUST LEAVEOUR PRESENT AND GO. IT'S RUINED NOW.KEEP THE PRESENT. THEY WERE ALWAYSOUR STUPIDEST FRIENDS. I'M SORRY.YOU MUST HAVE WORKEDHARD ON THIS PARTY. I'M OK. I FEELBAD FOR THE KIDS. WE COULD PRETENDTHAT NOTHING HAPPENED. WE, UH... REALLY. WE COULD GO THROUGHWITH THE PARTY. I THINK IT WOULDMEAN A LOT TO THEM. IT'S A FINE PLAN, STEVEN. EXCUSE ME. HA HA HA HA! I'D KEEP AN EYE ON MOM. I DON'T THINK SHE'LLMAKE IT TO THE PARTY. ALEX,CAN WE COME IN? SKIPPY, HOW YOU DOING? HAVEN'T SEEN YOUIN A LONG TIME. YOU KNOW HOW IT IS. THE BALL AND CHAINKEEPS ME ON THE RUN. IS MALLORY HOME? SHE'S UPSTAIRS. THANKS. SEE YOU LATER,HONEY BEAR. SOMETIMES SHE CALLS MEHONEY BEAR. I HEARD. IT'S NICE TO SEE YOUSO HAPPY, SKIPPY. I REALLY AM, ALEX. AMY IS THE GREATEST GIRLIN THE WORLD. I LOVE EVERYTHINGABOUT HER. THE WAY SHE LOOKS, TALKS. THE WAY SHECHEWS HER FOOD. SHE MUST CHEW EACH BITE30 OR 40 TIMES. DON'T LET HER GO, SKIP. BUT, ALEX,THERE'S A PROBLEM. EVERYTHING'S GOING GREATBETWEEN ME AND AMY. TONIGHT SHE ASKED METO HER DORM ROOM. USUALLYHER ROOMMATE'S THERE,AND EVERYTHING'S FINE. TONIGHT, WE'LL BE ALONEFOR THE FIRST TIME. AH, I SEE. I'M NOT AN EXPERIENCED GUYLIKE YOU, ALEX. I DON'T KNOWWHAT TO DO. I'M 19 YEARS OLD,AND I'VE NEVER... YOU KNOW. SKIP, TAKE IT EASY. A LOT OF 19-YEAR-OLDGUYS HAVE NEVER... YOU KNOW. SEEMS LIKEI'M THE ONLY ONE. IT'LL HAPPEN NATURALLY. IT'S LIKEA FLOWER BLOSSOMS. LIKE A TREESHEDS ITS LEAVES. LIKE A BRANCH REACHESFOR THE SUNLIGHT. IT HAPPENED FOR YOUIN AN ARBORETUM? IT'S GOING TO BEMORE DIFFICULTTHAN I THOUGHT. YOU'VE GOT TO HELP. I DON'T KNOWWHAT TO WEAR. YOU'RE MY OLDESTAND DEAREST FRIEND, SO I CAN SHARE THISWITH YOU. THERE'S A ROMANTICFORMULA THAT'S BEENVERY SUCCESSFUL FOR ME. YOU CAN REMEMBER ITWITH ONE WORD. FISCAL. FISCAL? THE FIRST LETTER, "F," STANDS FOR FEMALE. MAKE SURETHERE'S ONE THERE. WHAT DOES"I" STAND FOR? "I" IS USEFUL FORBEGINNING SENTENCES. I LOVE YOU.I NEED YOU. I WANT YOU. I'D LIKE YOUTO LOCK THE DOOR. THIS IS WHAT I NEED. "S." SENSITIVITY. PRETEND YOU HAVE SOME. "C" IS FOR CARING. PRETEND YOU DO. "A." "A" IS FOR ALEX. SO, UH... THINK OF ME,AND EVERYTHINGWILL BE ALL RIGHT. "L" STANDS FOR LOVE. NO, "L" IS FOR LIGHTING. YOU WANT A WARM,ROMANTIC ATMOSPHERE. I GENERALLY BRINGMY OWN LIGHTING. HEY, WHAT ARE YOUTWO TALKING ABOUT? NOTHING,JUST GUY TALK. WHAT HAVE YOUBEEN TALKING ABOUT? GIRL TALK. EVERYTHING SEEMSTO BE IN ORDER. WE'VE GOT 6:30DINNER RESERVATIONS, SO WE'D BETTER GO. SEE YOU LATER. DID HE TALK TO YOUABOUT TONIGHT? YEAH, A LITTLE. DID SHE TALK TO YOUABOUT TONIGHT? A LITTLE.SHE'S NERVOUS. WHAT DID YOU SAY? WELL... THAT THERE ARE NO RULESOR PLANS TO LOVING SOMEONE, AND THAT IFTWO PEOPLE CARE FORAND RESPECT EACH OTHER, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. WHAT DID YOU SAY? BASICALLYTHE SAME THING. WELL, HERE WE ARE. IT FEELS STRANGE BEING HEREWITHOUT YOUR ROOMMATE. I MISS MARY BETH. ARE YOU SURE SHE WON'TBE COMING BACK TONIGHT? SHE'S VISITING HERPARENTS IN ALASKA. SO SHE'S PROBABLYSLEEPING THERE. I'LL GET SOME WATERAND MAKE HOT COCOA. I'LL WAIT HERE IN CASEMARY BETH DOES COME BACK. OK. LET'S SEE. "F IS FOR FEMALE." I'VE GOT THAT. "I IS FOR I LOVE YOU. I'D LIKE YOUTO LOCK THE DOOR." SHE WON'T BE ABLETO GET BACK IN. WE LOSE OUR "F." "SENSITIVE. CARING." I AM BOTHOF THESE THINGS. "A. THINK OF ALEX." LET'S PUT... THERE YOU GO. "L FOR LIGHTING." A ROMANTIC ATMOSPHERE. NO. OH, YES. NOW WE ARE PREPAREDFOR AN EVENING OF ROMANCE. AND A RED ALERT. "L" COULD ALSOSTAND FOR LOTION. WHOA. I NEED ALLTHE HELP I CAN GET. SKIPPY, HAVE YOU BEENDEVELOPING PHOTOGRAPHS? I FIGURED THISWOULD MAKE THE ROOMA LITTLE COZIER. ARE YOU WEARING COLOGNE? ME? NO, NO. YOU PROBABLY PUTTOO MUCH PERFUMEON TONIGHT. I DON'T WEAR PERFUME. WHAT'S THAT STUFFON YOUR DRESSER? FORMALDEHYDE. AT LEAST I'LL KEEP WELL. YEAH, WELL... WOULD YOU LIKETO HAVE A SEAT? OK. YOU MEAN OVER THERE. I COULD GO OVER THERE. THAT'S OK! ALLOW ME. SO, HERE WE ARE,JUST ME AND YOU... A MAN AND A WOMAN. RIGHT. ONE OF EACH. YOU KNOW, THEYSAY THESE THINGSHAPPEN NATURALLY. I'VE HEARD THAT BEFORE. MAYBE ITHAPPENED ALREADY. MAYBE IT DID. SO, WAS ITGOOD FOR YOU? ARE YOU OK? I'M FINE. IT WAS MY FAULT. I'M SORRY.I'M JUST SO NERVOUS. ME, TOO. I DON'T KNOW.SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT, SOMETHING IN THE AIR. SMOKE. SMOKE, TENSION,WHATEVER. SKIPPY, THE LAMPIS ON FIRE! THE LAMP IS ON FIRE! WATER! GET WATER!FAST, WATER! [SMOKE ALARM] SKIPPY! SKIPPY! THIS IS IT! LET'S ALLGET INTO POSITION! SOMEONE GET THE LIGHTS! SURPRISE! THANK YOU, BUT ITDIDN'T GO THAT WELL. IS ALEX HERE? HE'S OUT WITH HIS MOM. THIS IS A SURPRISE PARTYFOR MRS. KEATON. SOMEBODY'S COMING! SHH! HIDE SOMEWHERE. GET THE LIGHTSAGAIN. SURPRISE! HI. ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY!IT'S LOOKING GOOD! WE'RE JUST ABOUT READYFOR THE BIG ONE! HI, THERE. HI. YOU LEFT IN A HURRY. AMY, I'M SORRYABOUT TONIGHT. I RUINED EVERYTHING. I WAS TRYING SO HARD TO MAKE A NICE,ROMANTIC EVENING. IT WAS ROMANTIC. IT WAS JUSTA LITTLE SMOKY. YOU'RE THE BESTTHING THAT'S EVERHAPPENED TO ME. I FEEL MORECOMFORTABLE WITH YOU THAN ANYONE ELSEIN THE WORLD. I'M SORRY I WASACTING SO CRAZY TONIGHT. I'VE NEVERDONE THIS KINDOF THING BEFORE. I THINK WE'RE BOTHJUST BEGINNERS AT THIS. LET'S NOT RUSH IT. HOW FAST WE GODOESN'T MATTERIF WE GO TOGETHER. YOU REALLY LIKE ME. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. IT SEEMS SO...UNNATURAL. WELL, THIS CAME OFFWITHOUT A HITCH. DAD CAN REALLY PLANTHESE THINGS, CAN'T HE? IT'S WORSE THAN MINE. HELLO. I'M HOME. STEVEN. JUST A MINUTE. UH, STEVEN. OH, ELYSE. HEY, LOOK, EVERYBODY!IT'S ELYSE! SURPRISE! OH, WOW! HI, HONEY. YOU SURPRISED? I HAD NO IDEA. OK. GREAT SURPRISE PARTY. WE PRETTY MUCHWROTE THE BOOKON SURPRISES. SO HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT? ALEX, WE HADA GREAT NIGHT. GOOD. YOU'REA GREAT COUPLE. THANKS. AND THANK YOU, MALLORY,FOR INTRODUCING US. IT WAS MY PLEASURE. YOU'RE PERFECTFOR EACH OTHER. JUST REMEMBER,IN A RELATIONSHIP, IT'S BEST NOT TOINTELLECTUALIZETHINGS TOO MUCH. JUST LISTENTO YOUR HEARTS. THAT'S WHY NICKAND I HAVE SUCHA PERFECT RELATIONSHIP. WE DON'T THINKABOUT ANYTHING. LIKE WHEN A LITTLEPROBLEM COMES UP, WE JUST PRETENDWE'RE WILD BIRDS. WE FOLLOWOUR NATURAL INSTINCTS, AND THEN,SOMETHING MAGICALAND WONDERFUL HAPPENS. YOU FLY SOUTHFOR THE WINTER? IT WASN'T EASYGETTING HERE, BUT THE IMPORTANT THING ISWE'RE ALL TOGETHER ON MY BIRTHDAY. I LOVE YOU ALL. * HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU * HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU * HAPPY BIRTHDAY,DEAR ELYSE * * HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU * CAPTIONING PERFORMED BYTHE NATIONAL CAPTIONINGINSTITUTE, INC. PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONSPROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OFNATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE CAPTIONS COPYRIGHT 1987PARAMOUNT PICTURES CORPORATION