[ THEME SONG PLAYS ] * I BET WE'VE BEEN TOGETHERFOR A MILLION YEARS * * AND I'LL BET WE'LL BE TOGETHERFOR A MILLION MORE * * OH, IT'S LIKEI STARTED BREATHING * * ON THE NIGHT WE KISSED * AND I CAN'T REMEMBERWHAT I EVER DID BEFORE * * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * AND THEREAIN'T NO NOTHIN' * * WE CAN'T LOVEEACH OTHER THROUGH * * OOH-HOO * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US? * SHA-LA-LA-LA "ALL CAMPERS MUST BRING "ONE FLASHLIGHT,FOUR BATTERIES, "ONE CANTEEN,200 CANDY BARS, 1,000 OREOS,TWO PAIR OF SNEAKERS..." WAIT A MINUTE.WAIT A MINUTE. SOMETHING DOESN'T SOUND RIGHTON THAT LIST. OH, YOU'RE RIGHT. ONE PAIR OF SNEAKERSWOULD BE PLENTY. NO, IT WAS BEFORE THAT -- SOMETHING ABOUTCANDY AND COOKIES. SEE, JEN?YOU WERE GREEDY. I TOLD YOU,JUST GO FOR THE CANDY BARS. TAKE MY WORD FOR IT,JENNIFER. CAMP WINNETKAWILL BE SO MUCH FUN, YOU WON'T HAVE TIMETO THIN ABOUT CANDY BARS. HOPE YOU HAVE A BETTERTIME THAN I DID. I HATED CAMP. WHAT DIDN'T YOULIKE ABOUT IT? WELL, THE WAY THE WHOLETHING WAS SET UP. I MEAN, GIRLS ONONE SIDE OF THE LAKE, BOYS ON THE OTHER. THANK GODI'M A GOOD SWIMMER. [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] AAH. HELLO, SKIPPY.HELLO, MR. KEATON. ALEX, I GOT TO TALK TO YOU.IT'S AN EMERGENCY. WHAT'S WRONG, SKIP? THAT'S JUST HOWI GET PEOPLE'S ATTENTION. USUALLY WHEN SKIPPY HANDELMANWALKS INTO A ROOM, PEOPLE TEND TO...WALK AWAY. SKIPPY, YOU'RE EXAGGERATING.THAT'S NOT TRUE. COME ON, JENNIFER,LET'S GO IN THE OTHER ROOM AND STUDY THIS CAMP LISTOF YOURS. COLOR TV?YOU'RE GOING TO CAMP. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BEROUGHING IT. OKAY, I'LL JUST BRINGTHE BLACK-AND-WHITE. Skippy: ALEX... I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. WHAT'S WRONG, SKIP? I FOUND OUT SOMETHINGUNBELIEVABLE ABOUT MY PARENTS. COME ON, SKIP.ALL ADULTS DO THAT. IT MEANSTHEY LOVE EACH OTHER. NO, NO, NO.THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I CAN'T LIVE WITHTHE HANDELMANS ANYMORE. SKIPPY, WHAT ARE YOUTALKING ABOUT? YOU A A HANDELMAN. YEAH, THAT'S WHATI THOUGHT, TOO, UNTIL 3:00THIS AFTERNOON. ALEX, HERE.LOOK AT THIS. SKIP, THESE AREADOPTION PAPERS. THAT'S RIGHT. MY REAL NAME ISN'TIRWIN HANDELMAN. IT'S BABY BOY DOE. WHERE DID YOUFIND THESE? IN MY MOM'S DRE--I MEAN, IN, UH... MRS. HANDELMAN'SDRESSER DRAWER. WAIT A MINUTE. UM... WHAT WERE YOU DOING GOING THROUGHYOUR MOTHER'S DRAWERS? OH, ALEX, WHAT DIFFERENCEDOES IT MAKE?! SHE'S NOTMY REAL MOM ANYWAY! ADOPTED? SKIP...LISTEN... UH, HERE.YOU WANT TO SIT DOWN? HERE, GET OFF YOUR FEET.C-CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING? ALEX, I'M ADOPTED!I'M NOT PREGNANT! THIS IS BIG NEWS. YEAH.YOU'RE TELLING ME. MY WHOLE LIFEHAS BEEN A LIE. I'M NOT WHOI THOUGHT I WAS. NOTHING ABOUT MEIS WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS. I MIGHT NOT EVENNEED THESE GLASSES. ALEX...I'M... WHERE ARE YOU? UH, SKIP, YOU NEED 'EM.YOU NEED 'EM. ALEX, I DON'T EVEN KNOWWHO I AM. I DON'T KNOWWHO MY FAMILY IS. I WANT TO FINDMY REAL PARENTS, ALEX. I WANT TO FIND MY ROOTS. I'M LEAVING FOR AFRICAIN THE MORNING. I TOLD YOU,WHEN WE WATCHED THAT ON TV, THOSE ARE HIS ROOTS. THAT DOESN'TAPPLY TO EVERYBODY. WHERE ARE MY ROOTS, ALEX? I DON'T KNOW, SKIP. WE SHOULD'VE TOLD HIMA LONG TIME AGO, ROSE. WE DON'T WE ADMIT IT?WE MADE A MISTAKE. HARRY, I'M TOO UPSETTO ADMIT ANYTHING. WE SHOULD'VE TOLD SKIPPYHE WAS ADOPTED LONG AGO. LET'S ADMIT IT, HARRY.WE MADE A MISTAKE. THAT'S WHAT I JUST SAID. WELL, I AGREE WITH IT,ANYWAY. YOU KNOW, ROSE,N-NOW THAT SKIPPY IS AWAREOF THE SITUATION, YOU SHOULD FEELRELIEVED -- I MEAN, THATTHE PRETENDING'S OVER. WELL, HOW CAN WE FEELRELIEVED? WE'RE SO SCAREDABOUT WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN IF HE MEETS ELIZABETH --UH, HIS NATURAL MOTHER. EXACTLY WHAT ARE YOUAFRAID OF? WHAT DO YOU THINKMIGHT HAPPEN IF THEY MEET? WELL, ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN --ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN,STEVEN. SKIPPY MIGHT LIKE HERBETTER THAN HE LIKES US, OR SHE MIGHT TRY TOGET HIM TO MOVE IN WITH HER. YOU KNOW,ONCE SOMEBODY'S MET SKIPPY, IT'S VERY HARDFOR THEM TO IMAGINELIVING WITHOUT HIM. YOU KNOW, ONCE, WHEN HE WAS 12,I WAS GONNA TELL HIM. I WAS ALL POISED TO SAY,"SKIPPY, YOU'RE ADOPTED." BUT I LOST MY NERVE. IT CAME OUT, "SKIPPY,YOU'RE A DOCTOR." I HAD TO LET HIMTAKE MY TEMPERATURE. AND NOW HE WANTS TOMEET THAT OTHER WOMAN. WHY IS ITSO IMPORTANT TO HIM? WHAT KIND OF A SONWANTS TO MEET HIS MOTHER? Harry: SO,WHAT SHOULD WE DO? I MEAN, ARE WE CRAZYTO BE SO UPSET? SHOULD WE LET HIMMEET HER? SHOULD WE TELL HIMWHERE SHE LIVES? IT'S DIFFICULT TO KNOWWHAT TO DO IN THESE --IT'S A VERY PERSONAL -- WE'RE ASKING YOUFOR HELP. I MEAN, IF YOU TWOHAD SOME PERSONAL PROBLEMS, WHAT TWO PEOPLEWOULD YOU CALL UPON? US, RIGHT? HUH. SO, WHAT SHOULD WE DO? UH, MAYBE WE SHOULD TELL HIM WHERE SHE LIVES. I THINK IT WOULD MEANA LOT TO SKIPPY IF YOU, UH,HELPED HIM FIND HER. Elyse:WELL, LOOK, ROSE. IF -- IF SKIPPY DOESN'T MEETHIS NATURAL MOTHER NOW, HE'S ALWAYS GONNAWONDER ABOUT HER. AND I THINK IT MIGHTBE GOOD FOR HIM IF HE THOUGHT THAT YOU WEREN'TAFRAID FOR HIM TO MEET HER. BUT WE ARE. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BEWASHING DISHES, MALLORY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I WAS JUST THINKING. NO, SERIOUSLY. ALEX! ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT? I WAS THINKINGABOUT SKIPPY. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. I'VE BEEN THINKINGABOUT HIM, TOO. HE'S REALLY UPSET ABOUT THISADOPTION THING, ISN'T HE? I THINK IT'S THE WAYHE FOUND OUT, YOU KNOW? HE'S INNOCENTLY GOING THROUGHHIS MOTHER'S DRAWERS, LOOKING FOR MONEY... AND HE FINDSADOPTION PAPERS. YOU KNOW,WHEN I WAS LITTLE, I USED TO THINK I WASFROM ANOTHER PLANET. DON'T GIVE UPTHAT THOUGHT, MAL. AND ONE DAY, MY SPACE MOMWOULD COME DOWN AND FIND ME AND TAKE MEBACK THERE WITH HER. WHY DON'T YOU GO UPON THE ROOF AND WAIT FOR HER? I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONEWITH MRS. HANDELMAN. SHE'S STILLREALLY UPSET. DO YOU, UH... DO YOU THINK THEY'RE GONNATELL SKIPPY WHERE HIS MOM IS? I DON'T KNOW.THAT'S A HARD THING TO DO. MOM, YOU'RE A MOTHER. HOW COULD A MOTHER JUSTGIVE AWAY HER OWN BABY? I CAN'T ANSWER THAT. I-I DON'T KNOWWHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES WERE. YOU JUST KNOWTHAT HAS TO HAVE BEEN A VERY DIFFICULT THINGTO DO. I GUESS SHE JUST DIDWHAT SHE THOUGHT WAS BEST. WHEN I HAVE A BABY,I'M GONNA KEEP IT. EVEN IF IT TURNS OUTTO BE AN ALEX. I KEPT HIM. WELL, IT WASN'T EASY, JENNIFER,BUT YOU ARE ALL PACKED. GREAT. JUST THINK --TOMORROW AT THIS TIME, I'LL BE A FULL-FLEDGEDCAMPER. NOW, HERE AREA FEW POSTCARDS. THEY'RE ALL STAMPEDAND DATED. ALL YOU HAVE TO DOIS SEND ONE TO US EVERY DAY. I CAN'T WRITE YOU A POSTCARDEVERY DAY. WELL, I-I KNOW THAT. THAT'S WHY I PRE-WROTE A FEWFOR YOU. "DEAR MOM AND DAD, CAMP IS FUN,BUT I MISS YOU TERRIBLY." [ CHUCKLES ] NOW, ALL YOU HAVE TO DOIS SIGN ONE EVERY DAY. WELL, WHY DON'TI JUST SIGN THEM ALL NOW? THAT WAY I WON'T HAVE TOTAKE 'EM TO CAMP. [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] HI. CAN I COME IN? YOU'RE ALWAYS WELCOMEIN THIS HOUSE. COME ON. WHY IS EVERYBODYBEING SO NICE TO SKIPPY? WELL, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD?I'M ADOPTED. HAVE A SEAT, SKIP. I HAVE THE ADDRESSOF MY REAL MOTHER. NO KIDDING.WHERE DID YOU GET IT? FROM MY FAKE MOM. SKIPPY! I'M SORRY, UH...FROM MRS. HANDELMAN. SHE KEPT IN TOUCHWITH MY REAL MOM'S FAMILY OVER THE YEARS. ARE YOU GONNA MAKECONTACT WITH HER? I'M GONNA SEE HER TOMORROW.SHE LIVES IN DAYTON. ARE YOUR PARENTSDRIVING YOU OVER? NO. NO, I-I COULDN'TASK 'EM TO DO THAT. I'M GONNA TAKE A BUSFIRST THING IN THE MORNING. OH, SKIP, LISTEN.YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT. I'LL, UH,I'LL DRIVE YOU. OH, ALEX, THAT'S GREAT.YOU'RE A REAL FRIEND. IF YOU EVER GET ADOPTED,I'LL DRIVE YOU TO DAYTON. COME ON, JENNIFER, LET'S GO.WE DON'T WANT TO MISS THAT BUS! HEY, HEY,DAD, DAD, DAD. LET ME HELP YOUWITH THAT.OH, THANKS, ALEX. THERE YOU GO.STRAIGHT TO THE DOOR. DON'T TRY ANYTHING TRICKY, OKAY?GOOD LUCK. OKAY, NOW, DON'T FORGET,AND WRITE EVERY DAY. I WILL. NOW, IT MAY SEEMLIKE THREE WEEKS ARE A LONG TIMETO BE AWAY FROM HOME, HONEY...BUT YOU'RE GONNA MEETA LOT OF WONDERFUL NEW FRIENDS. BEEP, BEEP. YOU'RE GONNA HAVEA WONDERFUL TIME, SO DON'T YOU FEEL SAD,OKAY? COMING THROUGH!HOT STUFF! LET ME TELL YOUA LITTLE STORY ABOUT WHEN I WENT AWAYTO CAMP -- ELYSE!OH. SORRY. [ GRUNTING ] [ THUDDING ] HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME! BYE-BYE, JEN.BYE, ALEX. DON'T STAND UPIN A CANOE! DON'T PLAYWITH MATCHES! [ Sobbing ]MY BABY GIRL'S GONE! [ DOORBELL RINGS ] SHE'S BACK! HI, SKIPPY. HELLO, MRS. KEATON. SKIPPY,ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YEAH. WE ADOPTEES,WE'RE MADE OF STERN STUFF. DID YOU KNOWMOSES WAS ADOPTED? YEAH.ART LINKLETTER, TOO. SKIPPY, I KNOWYOU'RE UPSET NOW, AND I JUST WANT YOUTO KNOW IF THERE'S, UH, ANYTHING I CAN DO,DON'T HESITATE TO ASK. MALLORY... THERE'S NOTHINGTHAT YOU COULD DO THAT COULD CHEER ME UP. WHOA. SKIPPY. YOU REALLY ARE UPSET. ALEX, DON'T CALL ME SKIPPYANYMORE, ALL RIGHT? OKAY...IRWIN. NO, NO, NO.CALL ME BY MY GIVEN NAME -- BABY BOY DOE. OKAY. [ CLEARS THROAT ] BABY BOY DOE. WHY -- WHY DO YOU HAVEA SUITCASE, SKIPPY? AREN'T YOU COMINGHOME TONIGHT? YEAH. I'VE GOT SOME THINGSI WANT TO SHOW MY MOTHER. WE'VE GOT A LOT OFCATCHING UP TO DO. [ CHUCKLES ]LOOK AT THIS. MY FIRST PAIROF BABY SHOES. THE ONES MY MOTHERNEVER GOT TO BUY FOR ME. MY, YOU HAD... VERY LARGE BABY FEET. THEY SAY THAT'SA SIGN OF INTELLIGENCE. WELL, AT LEASTTHEY USED TO. [ DOORBELL RINGS ] HELLO, ALEX. IS BABY BOY...HERE? I THOUGHTYOU MIGHT GET HUNGRY, SO I BROUGHT YOUYOUR FAVORITE -- PEANUT BUTTERAND CARROT SANDWICHES. WE JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WE LOVE YOUWITH ALL OUR HEARTS. I HOPE YOU FIND WHAT YOU'RELOOKING FOR IN DAYTON. I HOPE YOU FIND DAYTON. IT GETS A LITTLE TRICKYAROUND THE WILSON INTERCHANGE. THANK YOU,MR. AND MRS. HANDELMAN. ALEX, LET'S GO. 4B. THIS IS IT. AH, ALEX! AAH! IT'S MY MOM. I'LL KNOCK. [ EXHALES DEEPLY ] OH, I'M SCARED. YOU KNOCK. [ KNOCKS RAPIDLY ] Woman: COMING! YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE,SKIP. RIGHT.I'LL BE FINE. IRWIN! UH...NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. NO. NO,I-I'M NOT IRWIN. IRWIN'S RIGHT HERE.IRWIN -- SKIPPY... UM... PLANT NEEDS WATER. HELLO, IRWIN. HELLO... MA'AM. OH, DON'T BE SO FORMAL.CALL ME ELIZABETH. HELLO, ELIZABETH. UH... THIS IS MY FRIEND, ALEX.ALEX KEATON. HI. ALEX.ALEX KEATON. OH. NICE TO MEET YOU, ALEX.ALEX KEATON. ALEX DROVE ME HERE TODAYBECAUSE I-I DON'T DRIVE YET. MY BIRTHDAY'SNOT UNTIL... MARCH. OH, THAT'S RIGHT.I FORGOT... SHE WAS THERE. PLEASE, COME INSIDE. UH [CLEARS THROAT] SKIP, IF YOU DON'T MIND,I'M GONNA WAIT OUT HERE, OKAY? ALEX, I NEED --SKIPPY...YOU'LL BE FINE. I'LL BE RIGHT HERE. IT REALLY IS YOUAFTER ALL THESE YEARS. DO I LOOK THE SAME? WELL, YOU'RE BIGGER... AND YOU'VE GOT MORE HAIR,BUT OTHERWISE, YEAH, YOU LOOK THE SAME. UH... I-I DON'TRECOGNIZE YOU. OH. WELL,THAT'S UNDERSTANDABLE. LAST TIMEWE SAW EACH OTHER, YOU WERE ONLYA FEW WEEKS OLD. SO, TELL MEALL ABOUT IT. ALL THE THINGSWE DID TOGETHER. THERE'S NOTMUCH TO TELL. BASICALLY,YOU ATE AND SLEPT AND WENT THROUGHA LOT OF DIAPERS. THOSE WERE GOOD TIMES,WEREN'T THEY? WELL...NOTCOMPLETELY GOOD. NO, I WOULDN'T SAYTHEY WERE GOOD TIMES. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? THAT WAS A DIFFICULTPERIOD OF MY LIFE. I WAS 18AND UNMARRIED AND OSTRACIZEDBY EVERYBODY I KNEW. WHAT ABOUT MY FATHER? I BET HE WASA GREAT GUY, HUH? WELL, HE WAS...YOUNG, TOO. DID, UH,DID HE KNOW ABOUT ME? OH, HE KNEW. HE -- HE WASN'T INTERESTED. I SEE. HEY, PEOPLE ARE LIKE THAT.I UNDERSTAND. SO, UH... WHAT WAS HIS NAME? WAS HE TALL? DID HE EVER PLAYA PROFESSIONAL SPORT? I-I REALLY DON'TWANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM. I WANT TO KNOW. HE WAS MY FATHER. HE MAY BE YOUR FATHER,BUT... HE WAS NOTHING TO ME. NOTHING? IT WAS A MISTAKE. THEN I WASA MISTAKE, TOO, HUH? WELL, HEY,THAT'S ALL IN THE PAST NOW. WE COULD START FRESH. YOU WANT TO HEAR ABOUT,UH, MY HOBBIES OR MY AMBITIONS? WOULD YOU LIKE TOSEE MY VACCINATION? OH.I DON'T THINK SO. OKAY, UH... WELL, THEN, LET'S TALKABOUT YOU, MOM. WHAT DO YOU DO? I'M A SECRETARY. SEE? THAT'S AMAZING. TYPING'S MY BESTSUBJECT.OH. ASK ME ANYTHING. OR, UH, BETTER YET, WHY DON'T YOU BRING OUTYOUR TYPEWRITER? I DON'T HAVEA TYPEWRITER HERE. THAT'S OKAY. UH... NEXT TIME I COME,I'LL BRING MINE. OH, MOM,THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT. I CAN COME BYONCE A WEEK, AND -- AND WE CAN TALKAND TYPE AND... IRWIN... I THINK IT'S BEST THAT YOU DON'TCOME TO VISIT ME AGAIN. WHY NOT? IRWIN, YOU HAVE PARENTS. I'M SURE YOU'REVERY IMPORTANT TO THEM. I HAVEM-MY OWN LIFE, TOO. I CAN'T BECOME A MOTHER,JUST LIKE THAT. IT'S NOT THAT EASY. IT WOULD BE VERY DISRUPTIVEFOR BOTH OF US. YOU UNDERSTANDWHAT I'M SAYING? YEAH, I UNDERSTAND. YOU DON'T WANT ME. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW PAINFUL IT ISSEEING YOU AGAIN? IT TOOK ME 15 YEARSTO GET MY LIFE TOGETHER AGAIN, AND YOU JUST WANT TORIP IT APART AGAIN. WHAT DO YOU WANTFROM ME? I WANT TO KNOWHOW YOU COULD DO IT. HOW COULD YOU? HOW COULD YOU JUSTGIVE ME AWAY? IT WAS THE HARDEST THINGI EVER HAD TO DO. BUT YOU STILL DID IT! I WANTED YOU TO HAVEA GOOD LIFE! I COULDN'TGIVE IT TO YOU. I WANTED YOU TO HAVEA REAL FAMILY, NICE HOUSE, AND A DOG. YOU HAVE A DOG, ERWIN? NO. BUT I HAVE A SISTER. EVEN BETTER. I'D RATHER HAVE A DOG. WELL... I'LL BE GETTINGOUT OF YOUR WAY NOW. IRWIN... YOU MAY FIND THISHARD TO BELIEVE, BUT I GAVE YOU AWAYBECAUSE I LOVED YOU. YOU WERE MY BABY BOY. YOU REMEMBERED MY NAME. SO, SKIPPY, UH... YOU WANT SOMETHINGTO DRINK? UH, PRETZELS? NO. NO, ALEX.THANKS. I'M TOO DEPRESSEDTO EAT. HEY, UH, WHY DON'T WE TOSSA SOFTBALL AROUND, HUH? HOW DOES THAT SOUND? DANGEROUS. IN THE STATE I'M IN,I'D PROBABLY MISS THE BALL, AND IT WOULD HIT MEIN THE FACE. USUALLY HAPPENSANYWAY, SKIP. ALEX, I'M IN A DAZE.I'M STUNNED. MY MOTHER REJECTED ME...AGAIN. MY MOTHER NEVERWOULD'VE ACTED THAT WAY. THAT'S JUSTTHE POINT, SKIP. SEE, SHE WOULDN'THAVE DONE THAT... BECAUSE SHE IS YOUR MOTHER. SHE LOVES YOU. WAIT A MINUTE. WHICH MOTHERARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I'M TALKINGABOUT YOUR MOTHER -- N-NOT --NOT THE ONE FROM TODAY, BUT YOUR OTHER MOTHER --YOUR REAL MOTHER. THE ONE FROM TODAY IS MY REAL MOTHER. WELL, THAT'S TRUE, BUT I WASREFERRING TO THE MOTHER THAT YOU THOUGHTWAS YOUR REAL MOTHER UNTIL A FEW DAYS AGO. YOU MEAN MY MOTHER. THAT'S WHAT I SAID, SKIP,YOUR MOTHER. WHEN YOU SAID MY MOTHER,I THOUGHT YOU MEANT MY MOTHER, AS IN, THE ONEWHO WAS MY MOTHER FIRST. NO, NO. I'M TALKINGABOUT YOUR OTHER MOTHER, NOT THE MOTHERWHO -- WHO KNEW YOU FIRST. THE MOTHERTHAT YOU KNEW FIRST. GOT IT. WHAT ABOUT HER? LOOK, SKIP. ALL -- ALL I'M TRYING TO SAYTO YOU IS THIS. Y-YOUR MOTHER...DIDN'T REJECT YOU. THE WOMAN WHO GAVE BIRTHTO YOU REJECTED YOU. YOU MEAN MY MOTHER? LET'S NOT STARTTHIS AGAIN, SKIP. LOOK... WHEN YOU WERE7 YEARS OLD, AND YOU GOT YOUR HEADCAUGHT IN THE BANISTER, WHO GOT YOU LOOSE? MY MOM. WHICH MOM? THE ONE THAT RAISED ME... MRS. HANDELMAN. THAT'S RIGHT. AND WHEN YOU WERE13 YEARS OLD, AND YOU GOT YOUR HEADCAUGHT IN THE BANISTER... ...WHO GOT YOU LOOSE? THAT TIMEIT WAS MY DAD... MR. HANDELMAN. SKIP... IF IT WASN'T FORTHOSE TWO PEOPLE... YOUR HEAD WOULD BE STUCKIN THAT BANISTER RIGHT NOW. THAT'S TRUE. SEE... THE WOMAN YOU MET TODAYIS YOUR NATURAL MOTHER. AND -- AND THERE'SA GUY OUT THERE WHO ISYOUR NATURAL FATHER. BUT THEY HAVEN'T BEEN A PARTOF YOUR LIFE FOR 16 YEARS. THEY -- THEY'VE HAD NO ROLEIN -- IN NURTURING YOU, IN MOLDING YOU,IN -- IN CARING FOR YOU. THEY, UH... THEY CREATED A BABY... BUT THEY HAD NO PARTIN CREATING THE HUMAN BEING THAT'SIRWIN N. HANDELMAN. OH, EVEN SO, ALEX... HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU FOUND OUTTHAT YOUR MOM AND DAD AREN'T YOURNATURAL PARENTS? IT WOULD EXPLAIN A LOT OFINCONSISTENCIES IN MY FAMILY. LOOK, WHAT IT GETSRIGHT DOWN TO, SKIP, IS... THE PEOPLE WHO AREMOST IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE ARE THE PEOPLEWHO LOVE YOU AND THE PEOPLEWHO CARE ABOUT YOU. AND YOU GOTTHOSE PEOPLE, JUST AS MUCH AS I DO. [ INDISTINCT TALKING ] [ CLEARS THROAT ] YOU'RE HOME. YEAH.JUST GOT BACK. UH, WE WOULD'VEBEEN HERE SOONER, BUT WE GOT STUCKAT THE WILSON INTERCHANGE. I WAS WORRIEDYOU MIGHT. THEY OUGHT TO PUTBETTER SIGNS UP THERE. OH, HOW'D IT GO...BABY BOY? UH...YOU DON'T HAVE TOCALL ME THAT ANYMORE. DID YOU MEET... HER? YEAH. I MET HER. SHE WAS... PRETTY NICE. I SEE. ALEX MET HER, TOO. YEAH. YEAH, SHE WAS,UM, SHE WAS NICE. WELL... I'M...GLAD YOUR REAL MOTHER'S NICE. YOU'RE MY REAL MOTHER. OH, MOM. HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME? YOU'RE MY REAL DAD, DAD! [ LAUGHS ] LET'S GO HOMEAND HAVE REAL DINNER! LET'S GO HOME! I JUST SAID THAT.