* I BET WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER * FOR A MILLION YEARS * AND I BET WE'LL BE TOGETHER * FOR A MILLION MORE * OH, IT'S LIKEI STARTED BREATHING * * ON THE NIGHT WE KISSED * AND I CAN'T REMEMBER * WHAT I EVER DID BEFORE * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US * AND THERE AIN'T NO NOTHING * WE CAN'T LOVEEACH OTHER THROUGH * * WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY * WITHOUT US * SHA LA LA LA * HI THERE, ALEX. HEY THERE, MOM. HOW'S IT GOING? JUST FINE, DAD.TOP OF THE WORLD. WHO AREYOU KIDDING? YOU'RE STILLAT THIS TABLE. I MOVEDWHILE YOU WERE OUT. I CANNOT STANDWATCHING YOUPINE AWAY LIKE THIS. IT'S TIME TO FACE IT.ELLEN'S GONE. BE HAPPY FOR HER. SHE WON A DANCESCHOLARSHIP! SHE'S GONETO PARIS. GREAT! IT'S TIME FOR ALEXTO GET ON WITH HIS LIFE. I'M DOING FINE WITHGETTING ON WITH MY LIFE. YOU HAVEN'TLEFT THE HOUSEIN A MONTH. I LIKE IT HERE. IT'S COZY. YOU'RE NOT SLEEPING,AND YOU'RE NOT EATING. OK, OK. I HAVEN'TBEEN SLEEPING, BUT I HAVE BEEN EATING. I JUST HADA CORN FLAKE. I JUST WANTTO SHAKE YOU. PLEASE DON'T.I JUST ATE. ALEX, YOU FINALLYLEFT YOUR ROOM. GOOD FOR YOU. ALL RIGHT. LOOK. STOP TALKING TO MELIKE I'M A FLOOD VICTIM. NOW, I'M FINE. ELLEN'S...GONE.THAT'S TRUE. AND IT'S OVER. THAT'S TRUE, TOO. BUT WHENI'M GOOD AND READY, I'LL PICK ANOTHER ELLENOFF THE GIRL TREE. GIRL TREE? SORRY, MOM. THE WOMAN TREE. WHERE DOES HE GETTHESE IDEAS? DON'T LOOK AT ME. I TOLD HIMWE MET UNDER A TREE. HE MISUNDERSTOOD. I COULD FIX YOU UP. THERE'S ONE FRIENDI DON'T LIKE. THAT'S SWEET, BUT ANY GIRL I DATE MUST SPEAKIN COMPLETE SENTENCES. OH. THEN SHE'SWRONG FOR YOU. HEY, ALEX.HEY, COME HERE. COME OVER HERE. WHERE HAVE YOUBEEN HIDING? I HAVEN'T SEEN YOUSINCE ELLENDUMPED YOU-- SINCE SHE LEFT. I HAVEN'T HAD MUCH TIME. I'VE BEEN BUSY.SCHOOL, WORK, CLUBS. MALLORY SAIDYOU WERE CRYINGYOUR EYES OUT. YEAH. THAT HAD NOTHINGTO DO WITH ELLEN. THE STOCK MARKETDROPPED TWO POINTS. WE'VE KNOWN YOUFOR A LONG TIME. WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS. WE'RE HERE FOR YOU. AND WE'LL BE HEREFOR YOU. ALL RIGHT. IT'S ABOUT TIMEI TALKED TO SOMEBODYABOUT THIS. I NEVERLOVED ANYBODY AS MUCH ASI LOVED ELLEN. SORRY, ALEX.WE GOT TO GO. THANKS FOR LETTING MEGET THAT OFF MY CHEST. I NEEDED TO OPEN UP. GIRLS, YOU KNOWALEX KEATON. YOU'RE THE ONE WHOSE GIRLFRIENDDUMPED YOU, RIGHT? I'M SORRY.HAVE WE MET? REENIE CRAWFORD.MARGIE HANLEY. WE HAVEN'T BEENFORMALLY INTRODUCED, BUT I HEARDABOUT THE DUMPING. WE'LL SEE YOU, ALEX. * WHAT DID YOU THINK * I WOULD DOAT THIS MOMENT... ** HI, ALEX.WHAT WILL IT BE? OH. HI, SHARON. NOTHING. THANKS. I'LL JUST LEAN HEREIF THAT'S OK. I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU. I'VE BEEN TOO BUSYGETTING DUMPED. I HEARD ABOUT THAT. WHO HASN'T? ATTENTION, LELAND STUDENTS! ALEX KEATON'SBEEN OFFICIALLY DUMPED. WE KNOW.WE KNOW.WE KNOW. I WATCHEDYOU TWO IN HERE. YOU WEREA GREAT COUPLE. WELL, I'M NOT THE KINDTO DWELL ON THE PAST. I GOT MY WHOLE LIFEAHEAD OF ME. MY WHOLE...LONELY,MISERABLE LIFE. HERE'S WHAT I DOWHEN I'M DEPRESSED. I GET INTO PAJAMAS. I TURN ON SOMEHEAD-BANGING MUSIC AND SCREAMREAL LOUD. NO KIDDING? THAT'S EXACTLYWHAT I DO. NO. YOU? I NEVER PICTURED YOUAS A HEAD-BANGING GUY. AW, COME ON. CONSTANT HEADACHE. I WOULD'VE PEGGED YOU AS A LOVEROF ELEVATOR MUSIC. I LIKE IT. AROUND HERE I MIGHT APPEARLIKE A PRETTY CLEAN-CUT GUY, BUT AT HOME,COMPLETE LUNATIC. YOU'RE A KICK.YOU'RE REALLY FUNNY. I ALWAYS THOUGHT OFYOU AS A CUSTOMER. BURGERS,FRIES, SHAKE, RECEIPT FORTAX PURPOSES. YOU WERE ALWAYSA WAITRESS TO ME. TAKE THE ORDER, SMILE IN HOPESOF BIG TIPS. IT NEVER QUITEWORKED WITH YOU. COME ON.I'M ALWAYS UP THERE. 4, 5%. YOU'RE A REALLYINTERESTING GIRL. AND YOU'RE VERY HIP. YOU'RE ALMOSTAS HIP AS I AM. HOW COME WE'VE NEVER HADTHIS CONVERSATION BEFORE? ELLEN WASALWAYS THERE. WELL, WE GOT RIDOF HER, DIDN'T WE? THIS ISA GREAT-LOOKING ROOM. THANKS. I DECORATEDIT MYSELF. THIS IS WHERE I DOALL MY HEAD-BANGING AND, UH, DANCINGAND SCREAMING. GET THOSE RECORDS,AND WE'LL SCREAM RIGHT NOW. YOU'RE ON,LITTLE GIRL. I'M HEPTO YOUR JIVE. OH, HELLO. I'M STEVEN KEATON. HI, I'MSHARON McELROY,ALEX'S FRIEND. WELL, ISN'T THAT NICE? I'M PLEASEDTO MEET YOU. OH, ELYSE,THIS IS SHARON McELROY, A FRIEND OF ALEX'S. AND A GIRL. HI. HELLO. I'M VERYPLEASED TO MEET YOU. YOU'RE RIGHT, STEVEN.SHE'S A GIRL. YAY! I SEE WE MET. YES. NOW WE'LL LEAVEYOU TWO ALONE AND MAKE OURSELVESSOME, UH... SOUP! SOUP! RIGHT YOU ARE,MADAME. SOUP, IT IS. GIVE THIS WOMANTHE LADLE OF HER CHOICE. YEAH. OK. THEY SEEM VERY HAPPY. THEY MIGHTQUITE POSSIBLYBE SENILE. BUT I LOVE THEM, AND I'LL NEVERPUT THEM IN A HOME. MY SISTER'SGOT MY FAVORITE HEAVY METALPLATTERS, BUT THESE SHOULDPUT US IN THE MOOD. ALEX, THESE ARELEARN-TO-TYPE RECORDS. SO WHAT. WE'LL BE SOBUSY SCREAMING. YOU'RE RIGHT, DAD.SHE'S A GIRL. DOES YOUR FAMILYGET OUT MUCH? NOT ENOUGH. SHARON,I WAS WONDERING IF YOU'DGO OUT WITH METOMORROW NIGHT. SOUNDS LIKE FUN. HOW DOES 7:00 SOUND? PERFECT. I'VE GOT TO GO.SEE YOU TOMORROW. TILL THEN. OK! ALL RIGHT! THE DREAM LIVES ON. SHE'S VERY NICE! WHOA! I ASKED HER OUT, SHE SAID YES. WHOA! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.I'M IN LOVE AGAIN. THAT DIDN'TTAKE LONG. I KNOW THE FEELING. SHE'S EXACTLY LIKE ELLEN. ELLEN LIKED ART,THIS ONE LIKES MUSIC. I'M IN LOVE AGAIN! WHAT WAS I SOWORRIED ABOUT? I COULD TEACHA COURSE IN THIS. I'M HAPPY FOR YOU. MOM, WHAT DID I TELL YOUABOUT THE GIRL TREE? THE GIRL TREEIS IN BLOOM. IT'S FULL OF RIPE,BEAUTIFUL, SHINY GIRLS. GIRL TREE IS A MISNOMER. THERE'S A GIRL ORCHARDOUT THERE. AND, MOM,IT'S HARVEST TIME. HEY, HONEY. WHERE'S EVERYBODY? THE GIRLS ARE UPSTAIRS HELPING ALEX GET READYFOR HIS BIG DATE. YES! TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT! OUR BOY GOES OUT AGAIN. HE'S SO EXCITED. HE HASTHAT WARM GLOW HE GETS AFTERA REAGAN PRESSCONFERENCE. OOH. ITSOUNDS SERIOUS. MM-HMM. THEY SAID ITCOULDN'T BE DONE. THE KEATON SISTERSPRODUCTIONS PROUDLY PRESENTSTHE KING OF HIPNESS, ALEX P. KEATON!ALEX P. KEATON! WHAT IT IS. CHECK IT OUT. I'VE LOST MY MIND. WHY, ALEX,THIS IS FABULOUS! IT'S RAD... OR SCHMAD... OR JUST PLAIN BAD. WHATEVER MEANS GROOVYTHESE DAYS. WHY THE DRASTIC CHANGEIN STYLE? SHARON'SA HIP GIRL. I GOT TO BEHIP, TOO. SHOW THEM THE WALK. GOD, I LOOK GOOD. YEAH! IT LOOKS GREAT. IT'S GOODTO SEE YOU SO ENTHUSIASTICAND SO HIP. WE'VE BEEN WORRIEDABOUT YOU, ALEX. OH, THOSE, UH... THOSE DAYS ARE OVER. I'M READY TOROCK AND ROLL. THAT'S MY BOY! DAD, HAVE YOU SEENTHE BODY ON SHARON? OH, YES! NO! NO. I MUST HAVE MISSED IT. DID SHE HAVE A BODY? SHE'S BEENUNDER MY NOSETHIS WHOLE TIME, MY IDEAL MATCH. SHE'S HIP. I'M HIP. IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. UNBELIEVABLE. WE LOVEHEAVY METAL MUSIC. YOU DON'T LOVEHEAVY METAL MUSIC. I LOVE IT FOR HER. I HATE IT,BUT DON'T TELL HER. THE OLD ALEXIS BACK. I'M HIP, I'M COOL, I'M A HAPPENIN' FOOL. YOU LOOK BEAUTIFULTONIGHT, SHARON. THANK YOU. WHEN YOUSMILE LIKE THAT, I GET GOOSE BUMPS. I'M GLAD. DO ME A FAVOR. LET YOURHAIR DOWN. I'M TRYING TO BEAS OPEN AS I CAN. NO. I MEANYOUR ACTUAL HAIR. LET IT FALLOVER YOUR SHOULDERS. OK. IF YOU LIKE. YOUR HAIR LOOKSGREAT LIKE THAT. THANK YOU. SHARON,WOULD YOU MIND PUTTING ONTHESE GLASSES? ALEX, PLEASE. I KNOW WHATYOU'RE DOING. WHAT AM I DOING? YOU'RE MAKING MELOOK LIKE ELLEN. NOTHING IS FURTHERFROM THE TRUTH. I WANTED TO SEE YOUIN THOSE GLASSES. MY VISION'S PERFECT. AS YOU GET OLDER,YOUR EYESIGHT FAILS. I WANTED YOU TO HAVETHESE GLASSES READY. IT WAS A SURPRISE, BUT NOWYOU'VE RUINED IT. HEY, ALEX, ELLEN. YOU'RE NOT ELLEN. SHE'S BETTERTHAN ELLEN. SHE'S SHARON. WITH THOSE GLASSES,YOU COULD BE ELLEN. LEAVE HER ALONE. SHE'S GOT A THINGABOUT IT. I'LL HAVETHE CHICKEN, AND THE VEALFLORENTINEFOR THE LADY. I DON'T LIKE VEAL. I'LL HAVETHE CHICKEN, TOO. IS SOMETHINGWRONG? WE'RE BOTHHAVING CHICKEN. IS THATSO TERRIBLE? WE WON'TBE ABLE TO SHARE. THAT WAS ALWAYSMY FAVORITE PARTOF THE MEAL. HALFWAYTHROUGH THE MEAL ELLEN AND IWOULD CHANGE PLATES. AND WE'D SWITCH. WE STILL COULD. WHAT'S THE POINT? WE'RE BOTHHAVING CHICKEN. I FEEL LIKE THE GRINCHWHO STOLE CHRISTMAS. I'M SORRY. LOOK,LET'S FORGET THAT. WE'RE HERETO HAVE A GOOD TIME. I'M FOR THAT. WHAT'S THATYOU'RE WEARING? IT'S JUST SOME PERFUME.NOTHING SPECIAL. TRY THIS. OOH, ALEX! YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKEME SMELL LIKE ELLEN. GEE, SHARON, ARE YOUALWAYS THIS SENSITIVE? WITH THAT SMELL,YOU COULD BE ELLEN. DON'T YOU SEEWHAT'S GOING ON? YOU'VE HAD A SUCCESSFUL,LONG RELATIONSHIPWITH A WOMAN. YOU WANT A REPLACEMENT. SOMEONE TO DRESSLIKE HER AND BE HER. YOU'RE RIGHT.YOU'RE RIGHT. SO, ARE YOUUP FOR IT? WHEN YOU'RE INTERESTEDIN ME, CALL. SHARON'S NOT AT ALLWHO I THOUGHT SHE WAS. OH, NO. SHE SEEMEDSO RIGHT FOR US. SHE DIDN'T LOOK OR ACTRIGHT, OR ORDER RIGHT. NOTHING LIKE ELLEN. LET'S FACE IT. SHARON'S NOT ELLEN. WHY DIDN'T SHETELL ME THAT BEFORE? HOW COULD SHELEAD US ON LIKE THAT? MAYBE WE PUSHEDYOU INTO DATING BEFORE YOUWERE READY. WE JUST WANTEDYOU TO BE HAPPY. THERE OUGHT TO BEA STORE. A STORE WHERETHEY'VE GOT WOMENIN DIFFERENT CATEGORIES, AND YOU JUST PICKTHE ONE YOU WANT. THERE ARE SUCH PLACES, BUT THEY'RE ILLEGALIN THIS STATE. HOW COULD SHE LEAVE ME? WE REALLY LOVED EACH OTHER. WE WERE A TEAM. I SAT THROUGHFOREIGN FILMS FOR HER AND POETRY READINGS. I SAT THROUGH FOREIGNFILMS ABOUT POETRY READINGS. NOBODY KNEW MELIKE SHE DID. NOBODY. HONEY... FINDING SOMEONE ANDHAVING A TRUE, LOVINGRELATIONSHIP IS SO RARE. IT'S SOMETHING TO BEREGARDED WITH AWE, BECAUSE SO FEW PEOPLEFIND IT. UNDERSTAND? IT DOESN'T HAPPENAS CONVENIENTLYAS YOU'D LIKE. SO DON'T RUSH, OK? TAKE YOUR TIME, AND FEEL GOOD ABOUTTHE GOOD THINGSABOUT YOURSELF. BECAUSE YOU AREREALLY SOMETHING. I AM. I REALLY AM. WELL, COME ON. LET'S GO UP, HUH? IN A MINUTE. ALL RIGHT. THANKS. * WHAT DID YOU THINK * I WOULD DO AT THIS MOMENT * * WHEN YOU'RE STANDIN' BEFORE ME * * TEARS IN YOUR EYES * TRYIN' TO TELL ME THAT YOU * * FOUND YOU ANOTHER * AND YOU JUST DON'T LOVE ME NO MORE ** DEAR ELLEN, HOW WAS EUROPE? ACTUALLY, I DON'T CARE. I'M NOT TALKING TO EUROPE. WHAT I WANT YOU TO KNOW IS THAT I LOVED YOU AS MUCH AS I COULD LOVE ANYONE. I WAS LYING WHEN I SAID IT WAS FINE FOR US TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE. BUT I REALIZE NOW IT WAS FOR THE BEST. I CAN'T LIVE IN THE PAST, AND SO I'VE STARTED DATING AGAIN, AND IT'S GONE INCREDIBLY WELL. I'M MOVING ON, ELLEN, BUT I KNOW I CAME OUT OF OUR RELATIONSHIP RICHER FOR THE EXPERIENCE. WHEN I SAY "RICHER," I DON'T MEAN FINANCIALLY. I HOPE IT WAS THE SAME FOR YOU. I WISH YOU WELL. DON'T EAT TOO MANY CROISSANTS. I HOPE YOU BECOME THE GREATEST DANCER IN THE WORLD. YOUR PAL... NO. YOUR SON. NO. LOVE, ALEX. * WHAT DID YOU THINK * I WOULD DO AT THIS MOMENT * * WHEN YOU'RE STANDIN' BEFORE ME * * TEARS IN YOUR EYES * CAPTIONING PERFORMED BYTHE NATIONAL CAPTIONINGINSTITUTE, INC. PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONSPROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OFNATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE CAPTIONS COPYRIGHT 1986PARAMOUNT PICTURES CORPORATION