* I BET WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER
* FOR A MILLION YEARS
* AND I BET WE'LL BE TOGETHER
* FOR A MILLION MORE
* OH, IT'S LIKE I STARTED BREATHING *
* ON THE NIGHT WE KISSED
* AND I CAN'T REMEMBER
* WHAT I EVER DID BEFORE
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US
* AND THERE AIN'T NO NOTHING
* WE CAN'T LOVE EACH OTHER THROUGH *
* WHAT WOULD WE DO, BABY
* WITHOUT US
* SHA LA LA LA *
HI THERE, ALEX.
HEY THERE, MOM.
HOW'S IT GOING?
JUST FINE, DAD. TOP OF THE WORLD.
WHO ARE YOU KIDDING?
YOU'RE STILL AT THIS TABLE.
I MOVED WHILE YOU WERE OUT.
I CANNOT STAND WATCHING YOU PINE AWAY LIKE THIS.
IT'S TIME TO FACE IT. ELLEN'S GONE.
BE HAPPY FOR HER.
SHE WON A DANCE SCHOLARSHIP!
SHE'S GONE TO PARIS. GREAT!
IT'S TIME FOR ALEX TO GET ON WITH HIS LIFE.
I'M DOING FINE WITH GETTING ON WITH MY LIFE.
YOU HAVEN'T LEFT THE HOUSE IN A MONTH.
I LIKE IT HERE.
IT'S COZY.
YOU'RE NOT SLEEPING, AND YOU'RE NOT EATING.
OK, OK. I HAVEN'T BEEN SLEEPING,
BUT I HAVE BEEN EATING.
I JUST HAD A CORN FLAKE.
I JUST WANT TO SHAKE YOU.
PLEASE DON'T. I JUST ATE.
ALEX, YOU FINALLY LEFT YOUR ROOM.
GOOD FOR YOU.
ALL RIGHT. LOOK.
STOP TALKING TO ME LIKE I'M A FLOOD VICTIM.
NOW, I'M FINE.
ELLEN'S...GONE. THAT'S TRUE.
AND IT'S OVER.
THAT'S TRUE, TOO.
BUT WHEN I'M GOOD AND READY,
I'LL PICK ANOTHER ELLEN OFF THE GIRL TREE.
GIRL TREE?
SORRY, MOM.
THE WOMAN TREE.
WHERE DOES HE GET THESE IDEAS?
DON'T LOOK AT ME.
I TOLD HIM WE MET UNDER A TREE.
HE MISUNDERSTOOD.
I COULD FIX YOU UP.
THERE'S ONE FRIEND I DON'T LIKE.
THAT'S SWEET,
BUT ANY GIRL I DATE
MUST SPEAK IN COMPLETE SENTENCES.
OH. THEN SHE'S WRONG FOR YOU.
HEY, ALEX. HEY, COME HERE.
COME OVER HERE.
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING?
I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE ELLEN DUMPED YOU--
SINCE SHE LEFT.
I HAVEN'T HAD MUCH TIME.
I'VE BEEN BUSY. SCHOOL, WORK, CLUBS.
MALLORY SAID YOU WERE CRYING YOUR EYES OUT.
YEAH. THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ELLEN.
THE STOCK MARKET DROPPED TWO POINTS.
WE'VE KNOWN YOU FOR A LONG TIME.
WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS.
WE'RE HERE FOR YOU.
AND WE'LL BE HERE FOR YOU.
ALL RIGHT.
IT'S ABOUT TIME I TALKED TO SOMEBODY ABOUT THIS.
I NEVER LOVED ANYBODY
AS MUCH AS I LOVED ELLEN.
SORRY, ALEX. WE GOT TO GO.
THANKS FOR LETTING ME GET THAT OFF MY CHEST.
I NEEDED TO OPEN UP.
GIRLS, YOU KNOW ALEX KEATON.
YOU'RE THE ONE
WHOSE GIRLFRIEND DUMPED YOU, RIGHT?
I'M SORRY. HAVE WE MET?
REENIE CRAWFORD. MARGIE HANLEY.
WE HAVEN'T BEEN FORMALLY INTRODUCED,
BUT I HEARD ABOUT THE DUMPING.
WE'LL SEE YOU, ALEX.
* WHAT DID YOU THINK
* I WOULD DO AT THIS MOMENT... **
HI, ALEX. WHAT WILL IT BE?
OH. HI, SHARON.
NOTHING. THANKS.
I'LL JUST LEAN HERE IF THAT'S OK.
I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU.
I'VE BEEN TOO BUSY GETTING DUMPED.
I HEARD ABOUT THAT.
WHO HASN'T?
ATTENTION, LELAND STUDENTS!
ALEX KEATON'S BEEN OFFICIALLY DUMPED.
WE KNOW. WE KNOW. WE KNOW.
I WATCHED YOU TWO IN HERE.
YOU WERE A GREAT COUPLE.
WELL, I'M NOT THE KIND TO DWELL ON THE PAST.
I GOT MY WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF ME.
MY WHOLE...LONELY, MISERABLE LIFE.
HERE'S WHAT I DO WHEN I'M DEPRESSED.
I GET INTO PAJAMAS.
I TURN ON SOME HEAD-BANGING MUSIC
AND SCREAM REAL LOUD.
NO KIDDING?
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I DO.
NO. YOU?
I NEVER PICTURED YOU AS A HEAD-BANGING GUY.
AW, COME ON.
CONSTANT HEADACHE.
I WOULD'VE PEGGED YOU
AS A LOVER OF ELEVATOR MUSIC.
I LIKE IT.
AROUND HERE I MIGHT APPEAR LIKE A PRETTY CLEAN-CUT GUY,
BUT AT HOME, COMPLETE LUNATIC.
YOU'RE A KICK. YOU'RE REALLY FUNNY.
I ALWAYS THOUGHT OF YOU AS A CUSTOMER.
BURGERS, FRIES, SHAKE,
RECEIPT FOR TAX PURPOSES.
YOU WERE ALWAYS A WAITRESS TO ME.
TAKE THE ORDER,
SMILE IN HOPES OF BIG TIPS.
IT NEVER QUITE WORKED WITH YOU.
COME ON. I'M ALWAYS UP THERE.
4, 5%.
YOU'RE A REALLY INTERESTING GIRL.
AND YOU'RE VERY HIP.
YOU'RE ALMOST AS HIP AS I AM.
HOW COME WE'VE NEVER HAD THIS CONVERSATION BEFORE?
ELLEN WAS ALWAYS THERE.
WELL, WE GOT RID OF HER, DIDN'T WE?
THIS IS A GREAT-LOOKING ROOM.
THANKS. I DECORATED IT MYSELF.
THIS IS WHERE I DO ALL MY HEAD-BANGING
AND, UH, DANCING AND SCREAMING.
GET THOSE RECORDS, AND WE'LL SCREAM RIGHT NOW.
YOU'RE ON, LITTLE GIRL.
I'M HEP TO YOUR JIVE.
OH, HELLO.
I'M STEVEN KEATON.
HI, I'M SHARON McELROY, ALEX'S FRIEND.
WELL, ISN'T THAT NICE?
I'M PLEASED TO MEET YOU.
OH, ELYSE, THIS IS SHARON McELROY,
A FRIEND OF ALEX'S.
AND A GIRL.
HI.
HELLO. I'M VERY PLEASED TO MEET YOU.
YOU'RE RIGHT, STEVEN. SHE'S A GIRL.
YAY!
I SEE WE MET.
YES.
NOW WE'LL LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE
AND MAKE OURSELVES SOME, UH...
SOUP!
RIGHT YOU ARE, MADAME.
SOUP, IT IS.
GIVE THIS WOMAN THE LADLE OF HER CHOICE.
YEAH.
OK.
THEY SEEM VERY HAPPY.
THEY MIGHT QUITE POSSIBLY BE SENILE.
BUT I LOVE THEM,
AND I'LL NEVER PUT THEM IN A HOME.
MY SISTER'S GOT MY FAVORITE
HEAVY METAL PLATTERS,
BUT THESE SHOULD PUT US IN THE MOOD.
ALEX, THESE ARE LEARN-TO-TYPE RECORDS.
SO WHAT.
WE'LL BE SO BUSY SCREAMING.
YOU'RE RIGHT, DAD. SHE'S A GIRL.
DOES YOUR FAMILY GET OUT MUCH?
NOT ENOUGH.
SHARON, I WAS WONDERING
IF YOU'D GO OUT WITH ME TOMORROW NIGHT.
SOUNDS LIKE FUN.
HOW DOES 7:00 SOUND?
PERFECT.
I'VE GOT TO GO. SEE YOU TOMORROW.
TILL THEN.
OK! ALL RIGHT!
THE DREAM LIVES ON.
SHE'S VERY NICE!
WHOA!
I ASKED HER OUT,
SHE SAID YES.
WHOA!
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I'M IN LOVE AGAIN.
THAT DIDN'T TAKE LONG.
I KNOW THE FEELING.
SHE'S EXACTLY LIKE ELLEN.
ELLEN LIKED ART, THIS ONE LIKES MUSIC.
I'M IN LOVE AGAIN!
WHAT WAS I SO WORRIED ABOUT?
I COULD TEACH A COURSE IN THIS.
I'M HAPPY FOR YOU.
MOM, WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE GIRL TREE?
THE GIRL TREE IS IN BLOOM.
IT'S FULL OF RIPE, BEAUTIFUL, SHINY GIRLS.
GIRL TREE IS A MISNOMER.
THERE'S A GIRL ORCHARD OUT THERE.
AND, MOM, IT'S HARVEST TIME.
HEY, HONEY.
WHERE'S EVERYBODY?
THE GIRLS ARE UPSTAIRS
HELPING ALEX GET READY FOR HIS BIG DATE.
YES! TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT!
OUR BOY GOES OUT AGAIN.
HE'S SO EXCITED.
HE HAS THAT WARM GLOW
HE GETS AFTER A REAGAN PRESS CONFERENCE.
OOH. IT SOUNDS SERIOUS.
MM-HMM.
THEY SAID IT COULDN'T BE DONE.
THE KEATON SISTERS PRODUCTIONS
PROUDLY PRESENTS THE KING OF HIPNESS,
ALEX P. KEATON! ALEX P. KEATON!
WHAT IT IS.
CHECK IT OUT.
I'VE LOST MY MIND.
WHY, ALEX, THIS IS FABULOUS!
IT'S RAD...
OR SCHMAD...
OR JUST PLAIN BAD.
WHATEVER MEANS GROOVY THESE DAYS.
WHY THE DRASTIC CHANGE IN STYLE?
SHARON'S A HIP GIRL.
I GOT TO BE HIP, TOO.
SHOW THEM THE WALK.
GOD, I LOOK GOOD.
YEAH!
IT LOOKS GREAT.
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU
SO ENTHUSIASTIC AND SO HIP.
WE'VE BEEN WORRIED ABOUT YOU, ALEX.
OH, THOSE, UH...
THOSE DAYS ARE OVER.
I'M READY TO ROCK AND ROLL.
THAT'S MY BOY!
DAD, HAVE YOU SEEN THE BODY ON SHARON?
OH, YES!
NO!
NO.
I MUST HAVE MISSED IT.
DID SHE HAVE A BODY?
SHE'S BEEN UNDER MY NOSE THIS WHOLE TIME,
MY IDEAL MATCH.
SHE'S HIP. I'M HIP.
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
UNBELIEVABLE.
WE LOVE HEAVY METAL MUSIC.
YOU DON'T LOVE HEAVY METAL MUSIC.
I LOVE IT FOR HER.
I HATE IT, BUT DON'T TELL HER.
THE OLD ALEX IS BACK.
I'M HIP, I'M COOL,
I'M A HAPPENIN' FOOL.
YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL TONIGHT, SHARON.
THANK YOU.
WHEN YOU SMILE LIKE THAT,
I GET GOOSE BUMPS.
I'M GLAD.
DO ME A FAVOR.
LET YOUR HAIR DOWN.
I'M TRYING TO BE AS OPEN AS I CAN.
NO. I MEAN YOUR ACTUAL HAIR.
LET IT FALL OVER YOUR SHOULDERS.
OK.
IF YOU LIKE.
YOUR HAIR LOOKS GREAT LIKE THAT.
THANK YOU.
SHARON, WOULD YOU MIND
PUTTING ON THESE GLASSES?
ALEX, PLEASE.
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
WHAT AM I DOING?
YOU'RE MAKING ME LOOK LIKE ELLEN.
NOTHING IS FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH.
I WANTED TO SEE YOU IN THOSE GLASSES.
MY VISION'S PERFECT.
AS YOU GET OLDER, YOUR EYESIGHT FAILS.
I WANTED YOU TO HAVE THESE GLASSES READY.
IT WAS A SURPRISE,
BUT NOW YOU'VE RUINED IT.
HEY, ALEX, ELLEN.
YOU'RE NOT ELLEN.
SHE'S BETTER THAN ELLEN.
SHE'S SHARON.
WITH THOSE GLASSES, YOU COULD BE ELLEN.
LEAVE HER ALONE.
SHE'S GOT A THING ABOUT IT.
I'LL HAVE THE CHICKEN,
AND THE VEAL FLORENTINE FOR THE LADY.
I DON'T LIKE VEAL.
I'LL HAVE THE CHICKEN, TOO.
IS SOMETHING WRONG?
WE'RE BOTH HAVING CHICKEN.
IS THAT SO TERRIBLE?
WE WON'T BE ABLE TO SHARE.
THAT WAS ALWAYS MY FAVORITE PART OF THE MEAL.
HALFWAY THROUGH THE MEAL
ELLEN AND I WOULD CHANGE PLATES.
AND WE'D SWITCH.
WE STILL COULD.
WHAT'S THE POINT?
WE'RE BOTH HAVING CHICKEN.
I FEEL LIKE THE GRINCH WHO STOLE CHRISTMAS.
I'M SORRY. LOOK, LET'S FORGET THAT.
WE'RE HERE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.
I'M FOR THAT.
WHAT'S THAT YOU'RE WEARING?
IT'S JUST SOME PERFUME. NOTHING SPECIAL.
TRY THIS.
OOH, ALEX!
YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE ME SMELL LIKE ELLEN.
GEE, SHARON, ARE YOU ALWAYS THIS SENSITIVE?
WITH THAT SMELL, YOU COULD BE ELLEN.
DON'T YOU SEE WHAT'S GOING ON?
YOU'VE HAD A SUCCESSFUL, LONG RELATIONSHIP WITH A WOMAN.
YOU WANT A REPLACEMENT.
SOMEONE TO DRESS LIKE HER AND BE HER.
YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT.
SO, ARE YOU UP FOR IT?
WHEN YOU'RE INTERESTED IN ME, CALL.
SHARON'S NOT AT ALL WHO I THOUGHT SHE WAS.
OH, NO.
SHE SEEMED SO RIGHT FOR US.
SHE DIDN'T LOOK OR ACT RIGHT, OR ORDER RIGHT.
NOTHING LIKE ELLEN.
LET'S FACE IT.
SHARON'S NOT ELLEN.
WHY DIDN'T SHE TELL ME THAT BEFORE?
HOW COULD SHE LEAD US ON LIKE THAT?
MAYBE WE PUSHED YOU INTO DATING
BEFORE YOU WERE READY.
WE JUST WANTED YOU TO BE HAPPY.
THERE OUGHT TO BE A STORE.
A STORE WHERE THEY'VE GOT WOMEN IN DIFFERENT CATEGORIES,
AND YOU JUST PICK THE ONE YOU WANT.
THERE ARE SUCH PLACES,
BUT THEY'RE ILLEGAL IN THIS STATE.
HOW COULD SHE LEAVE ME?
WE REALLY LOVED EACH OTHER.
WE WERE A TEAM.
I SAT THROUGH FOREIGN FILMS FOR HER
AND POETRY READINGS.
I SAT THROUGH FOREIGN FILMS ABOUT POETRY READINGS.
NOBODY KNEW ME LIKE SHE DID. NOBODY.
HONEY...
FINDING SOMEONE AND HAVING A TRUE, LOVING RELATIONSHIP IS SO RARE.
IT'S SOMETHING TO BE REGARDED WITH AWE,
BECAUSE SO FEW PEOPLE FIND IT. UNDERSTAND?
IT DOESN'T HAPPEN AS CONVENIENTLY AS YOU'D LIKE.
SO DON'T RUSH, OK?
TAKE YOUR TIME,
AND FEEL GOOD ABOUT THE GOOD THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF.
BECAUSE YOU ARE REALLY SOMETHING.
I AM.
I REALLY AM.
WELL, COME ON.
LET'S GO UP, HUH?
IN A MINUTE.
ALL RIGHT.
THANKS.
* WHAT DID YOU THINK
* I WOULD DO AT THIS MOMENT *
* WHEN YOU'RE STANDIN' BEFORE ME *
* TEARS IN YOUR EYES
* TRYIN' TO TELL ME THAT YOU *
* FOUND YOU ANOTHER
* AND YOU JUST DON'T LOVE ME NO MORE **
DEAR ELLEN, HOW WAS EUROPE?
ACTUALLY, I DON'T CARE.
I'M NOT TALKING TO EUROPE.
WHAT I WANT YOU TO KNOW IS THAT I LOVED YOU
AS MUCH AS I COULD LOVE ANYONE.
I WAS LYING WHEN I SAID
IT WAS FINE FOR US TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE.
BUT I REALIZE NOW IT WAS FOR THE BEST.
I CAN'T LIVE IN THE PAST,
AND SO I'VE STARTED DATING AGAIN,
AND IT'S GONE INCREDIBLY WELL.
I'M MOVING ON, ELLEN,
BUT I KNOW I CAME OUT OF OUR RELATIONSHIP
RICHER FOR THE EXPERIENCE.
WHEN I SAY "RICHER," I DON'T MEAN FINANCIALLY.
I HOPE IT WAS THE SAME FOR YOU.
I WISH YOU WELL.
DON'T EAT TOO MANY CROISSANTS.
I HOPE YOU BECOME
THE GREATEST DANCER IN THE WORLD.
YOUR PAL...
NO.
YOUR SON.
NO.
LOVE, ALEX.
* WHAT DID YOU THINK
* I WOULD DO AT THIS MOMENT *
* WHEN YOU'RE STANDIN' BEFORE ME *
* TEARS IN YOUR EYES *
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.
PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
CAPTIONS COPYRIGHT 1986 PARAMOUNT PICTURES CORPORATION